FOUR CORNERS: Velocity 1.29.15 (New Orleans, LA)

WAIT... THEY HAD ANOTHER SONG BESIDES 'EPIC'? 

So how was your week?

I got to spend mine in New Orleans, which, despite being built by Frogs too stupid to understand the concept of “sea level”, is nonetheless a pretty cool place.  Lots of action to be had, mystique. 

And dear lord the beads.  I got 25 of em in three days.  A new personal best.

TO THE CORNERS!

#1: VALERIE LAMB RUINED EVERYTHING

FFW has seen a lot of upsets over the years, and some of the biggest ones have involved our FFW Champion, but in terms of sheer impact, Valerie Lamb beating FFW Champion Scarlett Kincaid in the Superdome has to rank up there, not just for the sheer improbability, but the impact of the fallout that is sure to come in the aftermath.

The XPuter gave Val a 31% chance of winning, and I thought THAT was generous, considering she was going into hostile territory against the best wrestler in the company on a five match losing streak that dated back to last August.  A loss last night would have pretty much been the last straw for Valerie Lamb’s FFW Championship hopes in the forseeable future. But the carrot was dangled, and Val responded by biting off not just the veggie, but the entire damn stick it was attached to.

So now the entire landscape that we thought FFW’s February would have now looks like a wasteland thanks to Val’s victory.  The FFW Championship, which came the length of Val’s big toe away from giving us the long-awaited one-on-one showdown between Scarlett Kincaid and Wendy Briese is now a triple threat match.  Which means the top three matches at Chaos Theory are all going to be three-way dances thanks to Kate Steele doing pretty much the exact same thing 5 days earlier. 

And of course, it’s the best thing that could have possibly happened to Jodie Gray, who, despite losing four of her last five, three of which are Evolution contenders, now stands one win over Lamb away from having a title shot of her own. 

It could (and should) be argued for a long time over whether or not these carrots should have even been dangled in the first place, but for Val, you can’t blame her for being hungry, and pulling off what 7 of the last 8 women Scar’s faced one-on-one couldn’t.  

And after all, with a PPV named Chaos Theory, we should have been prepared to expect the unexpected.

#2: EASY.  BRIESE-Y.  BEAUTIFUL.

While the main event was a technical classic that culminated in a colossal upset, the co-main was one of those beautiful train-wrecks.  A whirlwind of action that saw bodies and egos flying all over the place made it damn near impossible for the audience to breathe, much less the participants, all over a title shot that three of them were guaranteed to get anyways.

In the end though, it was Wendy Briese’s night, leveraging resilience, consistency, and one fortunate knock of the heads between Tara and Crystal into the monumental victory.  It was the first multi-way match Briese had won in three years, dating back to her initial No Surrender victory at Cold Blooded 2012.  And it cements- for now at least- the belief that many fans have had for a while- that Briese is, and remains, the best, and certainly most consistent, contender in the company.

But the night was clearly bittersweet for Wendy as well, as after doing her part to earn that one on one shot against Scarlett (of which she’s been the most vocal about wanting of everyone), it went away just as quickly.  And while she clearly attempted to be gracious about it, her disappointment was pretty evident as well.  It’s understandable- after all, she’d earned her shot by beating Valerie Lamb in the first place, and suddenly finds herself getting her reward at the exact same time her rival does.

But life isn’t fair, and wrestling less so, and Wendy’s come to understand that after nearly a decade in the business.  So don’t expect too much moping from the White Knight as we move through February- after all, she’s still that title shot she’s craved, even if it’s once again not coming in the way she wants it.

#3: JACKED
Just a couple weeks ago, I was talking about how the landscape of the Trios divison had changed, and that the Femme Fatales were the new “it” team.  Well, yet again the balance has shifted, and now, coming through the smoke with Lilly Sheffield teaming up with NHB and swatting the Femme Fatales aside to take over that role of top challenger in the trios division. 

It honestly is a testament of what a star Lilly Sheffield is starting to become.  After setting a mark that Future Shock Champions will be forced to measure up to for years to come, Lilly’s branched out, joining with NHB- a tag team that had gone absolutely nowhere in the Unity Division in a year and a half, and suddenly they’re on the forefront of the Trios contenders jumble.

This isn’t to say that Lilly’s been doing all the work while Ange and Jem simply ride on her coattails.  This is more pointing out that Lilly seems to be that special, rare kind of wrestler that not only looks great herself, but seems to manage to make everyone around her look better too.  To Ange and Jem’s credit, they’ve taken their new direction and have made the most of it, looking as crisp and strong as we’ve ever seen NHB. 

But the road’s not easy yet.  It’s doubtful the Femme Fatales is going to being nudged aside like that lying down, and will be back in contention soon enough.  And don’t rule out the New Social Elite- of which two of their members beat NHB a couple weeks ago. 

The pecking order’s shuffled a little bit, but don’t think the Trios division’s sorted itself out yet.  We’ve a long way to go.

#4: WAIT, AMANDA RICHARDSON?!

Sometimes the XPuter gets it right, like it did with Wendy and  Alysson.  Sometimes it gets it wrong, like with Kate and Val.  And sometimes… the XPuter gets it way wrong.  The odds had it 51%  in favor of Ithavol, Rose and Petrova, but that wasn’t the entire story.  

The fact of the matter is that the only reason Baker and Cross were the underdogs was because Richardson was their team mate, unsurprising considering what a trainwreck she was in SVW.  She was literally dead weight… some models actually had Vivian and Eve better without her.

So of course the Porn Princess goes and gives the best performance of the match, showing a hunger and focus that she’d never shown before.  It was something else to watch her outshine everyone else in the match en route to pinning Jeannie Rose and picking up a very important preseason victory.

So now comes the question that we all hate to ask.

1.    Is Season 18 the weakest Future Shock Ever? OR

2.    Has Amanda improved that much of the year or so?

For all our sakes, hopefully its option 2.  It’s not inconceivable, we’ve seen women go from horrible to hero before, just not as drastically from appearance to appearance as Amanda has.  But it is noticeable how much better she looked between then and now, and since how you look in wrestling tends to be relative to your opponent, it remains to be seen if she went up or the rest went down.

Either way, Amanda (and everyone else) has a hell of a road coming up for them.  Two more women will be joining the season right now, Clover, and the much better known Isis Morales, who’s already gained infamy as Valentina Lozano’s megapowerful bodyguard.  And while Richardson looked the best in the preview match, it’s tough not to see Isis as the overall favorite when the season officially kicks off.

UP NEXT: Enough freeloading, bitches!  Its time to pony up to watch some wrestling as we hit the Future Shock PPV!  Future Shock Cup- now too big for one night to handle!?  Does JoJo’s dream No Surrender match turn into a Killer  (C) Nightmare?  And Iggy and Gaby for the Future Shock Championship! All the night before the Super Bowl?   Open those wallets, boys!  I’ll go get the vacuum. 

WAYBACK WEDNESDAYS #3: Scarlett Kincaid Counts Ceiling Tiles

Welcome back to Wayback Wednesdays and our continued tribute to the extinct PPV known as Cold Blooded.

The 2013 edition of the show went down as one of the most controversial in FFW history, and paved the way to the beginning of the end of quite a few careers in FFW.  Most notorious was the method by which Isabella Pazzini beat Colleen to retain her title, which sparked Colleen leaping headfirst into that famous “all or nothing” match against Lightning, where she was kicked out of FFW after losing by countout.

The undercard saw its share of insanity too,  with Emma MacNamara beating Cara Stone in what would prove to be Cara’s last match,  Maddie Knight and Rori Mackenzie beating what’s now Dreambloom in a precursor to their Hardcore War.  Penny destroying Payton St. Pierre in a steel cage.  And of course, the greatest Time Limit Draw in the history of wrestling. Or so we’ve been told.

Oh, and also just one of two times in the last two years Scarlett Kincaid’s ended a match staring up at the ceiling, as Undine covered her to get Club CK VIP a huge win over Fight of Flight.   It was a big upset when it happened, but with Scarlett having only been pinned once in the aftermath since then, it’s become damn near monumental.

It also capped off what was a virtually unheard of three match losing streak for Kincaid, and began what would prove to be her worst year in FFW by a longshot, and with the PPV changing names to One Night Stand the following year, meant that Scarlett Kincaid, arguably the greatest wrestler in FFW history, never once won at Cold Blooded

No wonder that was the PPV we dropped!

=================

 

A showing of the lineup for the upcoming Extreme Envy special is shown before we head back into Staples Center, and into the ring where Cory Kincaid awaits. The graphic on the living video wall shows what is coming up as we hear the familiar voices of Mark Horton joined by Lyn Dallins.

Mark: Quite a card they have in store for this Extreme Envy show that FFW is putting together in Philadelphia next month. If you like your matches with a side of brutality, I think that’s the show to tune in to see. Lyn, you’ve been in a few extreme matches yourself in your career. Ever had to wrestle more than one in a single evening as one of those six ladies will have to do to earn a shot at the Ultraviolence Championship.

Lyn: Those hospital visits are never fun, I assure you. The nurses and doctors usually give you a look of disdain and want to ask why you even did this to yourself. Still Mark, if anything is going to prepare them for the amount of brutality you need to face an Ultraviolence Champion, it will be a tournament like what we’ll be seeing that night.

Mark: Indeed, but it’s back to business here tonight at Cold Blooded! Coming up next is one of the most anticipated tag team matches on the card easily. And for Kelly McGuffin especially, it couldn’t get much more personal! The Sisters Kincaid will join forces for the first time ever tonight when they meet Kara and Undine, the Club CK VIP!

Lyn: If Undine was with a Kincaid, you could almost call this a family reunion but I don’t think there’s gonna be any passing of potato salad and talking about Uncle Lester with the inner ear infection.

The cameras head up to the ring where Cory awaits.

Cory: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!

“Body Count” by Brand-X Music hits the PA, and the crowd quickly scramble around for any garbage they can throw. Kara & Undine walk out, Undine with her acid soaker in hand as usual, and they glare out at the fans, before making their way down the ramp, Undine threatening to squirt the jeering crowd with acid. They make their way up the steps and into the ring, where they stand on adjacent turnbuckles and taunt the crowd.

Cory: Introducing first, with a total combined weight of 302 lbs, this is ...’CHAOS’ KARA HARRINGTON....’THE AQUABLONDE’ UNDINE..... And they are the CLUB CK VIP!!!

Mark: Kara and Undine definitely got off to a rocky start in their tag team career here in FFW, but after picking up a pretty impressive win on the last edition of Velocity, I would suggest they are about to be tested like never before as a tag team here tonight in the City of Angels.

Lyn: Well between one of the mainstays of Femme Fatale Wrestling that is Scarlett Kincaid and the plucky Kelly McGuffin, we’re surely in for a fight.

The lights dim and The Pretender by Foo Fighters starts to play, as Dave Grohl starts to sing a single spotlight appears on the middle of the stage, illuminating Scarlett Kincaid. The red head stands there, her head bowed as she breathes deeply, nodding slightly in time to the music. At the moment the drums kick in fireworks explode behind her as Kelly simultaneously flips over her sister, landing perfectly on her feet before dropping to her knees, arms outstretched. Scarlett rolls her eyes at the show off as the lights come back up and kisses Cody, before she begins to head toward the ring smiling at the fans at ringside. Kelly meanwhile holds back for a moment or two, giving Christian a much longer passionate kiss. Finally she charges at the ring and dives into a cartwheel, using the momentum to transition into a handspring backflip onto the apron. She takes a moment to revel in the reception from the crowd before vaulting the top rope, into a mid air splits, landing on her feet and charges across the ring to the furthest corner and running straight to the top turnbuckle where she raises her fists high into the air and corkscrew backflips into the middle of the ring. As Kelly is running across the canvas, Scarlett catapults herself into the ring and goes towards her corner, sitting on the top turnbuckle she gives Kelly a round of applause before kissing her fingers and pressing them to the two sets of initials - EK & EGD embroidered on her ring gear at her hips.

Cory: And their opponents, with a total combined weight of 227 lbs! This is...SCARLETT KINCAID ...KELLY MCGUFFIN!! They are....FIGHT OR FLIGHT!!

Mark: You can call these two a lot of things, Lyn. Two of FFW’s most prominent singles stars, especially Kincaid. But in a manner of speaking, I consider this almost a superteam of sorts! And when I heard they were going to be a tag team from here on, that division better be watching closely.

Lyn: Almost. Take note of the almost. Kelly McGuffin is good sure, but to call yourself the best highflyer around no matter what your former career is, or training from one of the best highflyers around still leaves much to be desired. I shall give the girl her due however. Damn good in-ring. Damn good.

Referee Melinda Davis calls for the bell, and Kelly wastes no time as she goes straight after Undine. The high flier catches her with a beal before mounting her and unloading with a flurry of right hands on the Aquablonde. Kara goes to help her, only to have Scarlett hit the near side ropes and catch her with a flying shoulder tackle that drives her to the mat. Kincaid quickly begins to put the boots to her as Kara rolls out of the ring. Kincaid glances back to her sister, heading for her team’s corner as Kelly continues to unload. Hopping to her feet, Kelly wastes no time as she takes off for the near side and delivers a double leg drop across Undine’s chest before getting to her feet and letting out a scream of anger!

Lyn: Kelly going pretty much primeval here... That was not a mating call for any of you young fanboys who drool over her. Kelly McGuffin is gonna choke a bitch.

Mark: And she has every right to feel that way too! Kelly had her face burned by that woman several weeks ago! And while the scars have healed, the anger hasn’t!

Kelly pulled Undine up, firing her hard into the corner. She took off behind her and delivered a code breaker as Undine staggered back out of the corner. The Aquablonde quickly rolled out to the floor, holding her back as Kelly used the ropes for a springboard into a moonsault that landed flush on Undine! And the fans roared in approval!

Mark: Good lord, McGuffin is on FIRE!! All those weeks of waiting to get her hands on Undine, and she’s finally getting a piece of the Aquablonde! And Undine has had no offense so far!

Lyn: That’s pretty distressing honestly. Undine needs to get back in this game, else everyone will start to wonder if she’s nothing without that dangerous weapon of her’s.

Kelly jerked her up, shoving her back into the ring. McGuffin slid in after her and delivered a senton back splash to her abdomen before hopping back to her feet, grabbing her arm and dragging her to the corner. She made the tag to Scarlett as Kelly put Undine back first across her knee before Kincaid came off the middle turnbuckle with an elbow drop to the chest that sent her back down. Scarlett made another tag to Kelly as she catapulted Undine towards the far side as Kelly bounded towards her with a running clothesline. McGuffin headed for the top rope as Scarlett lined up under her!

Mark: I think we’re about to see a rocket launcher! If she hits this, the Kincaid sisters may be pitching a shutout!

Lyn: That’s going to be absolutely unpleasant for---

And with Scarlett underneath her, Kelly was fired off the top rope into a rocket launcher! But Undine rolled out of the way before McGuffin crashed onto the mat. Scarlett went to check on her, but got intercepted by the referee who was telling her to get out of the ring.

Lyn: ---For Kelly. Ouch.

Kelly held her ribs in pain as Undine tried to get her wits about her, raising her head as Kara screamed at her to come towards her as she had her arm outstretched. The Aquablonde headed for the ropes instead, pulling herself up to her feet and shaking her head. She glanced over to see Kelly starting to get to her hands and knees before she drove a clubbing blow with both hands into her back. Undine still looked a bit worse for wear as she drove her knee into Kelly’s back before pulling her up into a gutwrench and then turning that into a suplex! Scarlett began stomping in the corner, trying to rally the fans as Undine pulled Kelly’s foot up, contorting her body and making her stomp her own head with it.

Lyn: I never thought I’d see the day being flexible could be used against you. At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if Undine was whispering at Kelly ‘Stop hitting yourself’ over and over again.

Mark: Being a former acrobat, there is no doubt Kelly McGuffin is flexible! I never dreamt it was to this extent. How humiliating!

The Aquablonde got back to her feet, looking back to Kara with pride as she leaned down to grab Kelly. And as she pulled her up, Kelly surprised her with a jawbreaker that stunned Undine. The VIP staggered backwards for a moment as Kelly looked for her corner. Undine did the same, moving towards Kara herself. She quickly made the tag before Kelly had a chance. Kara stormed into the ring and delivered a vicious punt into the side of Kelly’s head as she was looking up at her sister. Harrington slapped Scarlett across the face, which set the redhead very angry. She headed into the ring as Davis went to stop her. Meanwhile, Kara applied a camel clutch on Kelly’s head and neck while Undine locked in a Boston crab on her legs! Scarlett implored Davis to turn around, trying to get in to help her sister as Kelly screamed in pain!

Lyn: ...I am begging that someday maybe one day the friggin’ refs are taught to look the fuck back around when a wrestler tells you to! I mean what’s Scarlett gonna do if you look around!? Look behind you, Davis!

Mark: Either that or assign more than one official to cover tag team matches! Kelly’s getting mugged, and Davis isn’t seeing a damn thing!

Scarlett shoves Davis aside finally, and takes off before planting a boot into Kara’s chest that sends her off of her sister. Davis immediately intercepts her, putting herself between Scarlett and the VIP in trying to get her out of the ring again. Kara pulls Kelly up as Undine loads her onto her shoulders. The Aquablonde grabs her head as Harrington drills her with a powerbomb into the mat. Kelly’s head bounces off the mat on impact as both women continue to assault her as Davis demands Scarlett leave the ring.

Mark: Kelly McGuffin is being assaulted from every side in the ring, and Davis is still trying to get Scarlett out of the ring. Surely the referee has to think she’s probably trying to get into the ring because something horrendous is going on!

Lyn: You’d hope and think that. You’d really hope and think that.

Kara slapped her hands together behind the official’s back, making it sound like she made a tag before she left the ring. Scarlett finally exited as well, as Undine made a cover.

ONE!!!

TWOOOOOOOOO!!!!

THRE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Kelly’s shoulder went up before the three as Undine looked down at her with a very annoyed look on her face. Pulling her to her feet, she shoved her back into her team’s corner as Undine lowered her head and began to deliver shoulder blocks into her stomach and ribs. She hoisted Kelly onto the turnbuckle, climbing up with her as she hooked her head under her arm. But McGuffin began to fire right hands to avoid the superplex. She caught Undine flush with an elbow that sent her back to her feet on the mat. And with a pieface to Kara to send her off the apron, she turned her back to the ring and tried to get her bearings on the top rope. Undine got back to her feet, and charged. She ran up the turnbuckles, wrapping her arms around Kelly’s body and going for a belly to back suplex! But Kelly held onto the ropes as Undine crashed backwards on the canvas!

Lyn: ...She dropped on her head from all the way on the top rope... I think Undine won’t be with us for

Mark: That’s one hell of a counter for that top rope suplex! Kelly kept her hands on the ropes, and Undine did the damage to herself. And now what’s Kelly got in mind?!

Kelly turned around now, seeing Undine down on the mat and glancing over to see Kara starting to get up. And with swanlike grace, Kelly launched herself off the top rope with a beautiful shooting star press that brought the fans to their feet!

Mark: THE FLIGHT PATH!! THAT’S KINCAID’S FINISHER!! IT’S OVER!!

Lyn: FIGHT OR FLIGHT TAKE IT!

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

THREEEEEEEEEEE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Before the referee could finish the count, Kara reached under the bottom rope and jerked Kelly off the cover.

Lyn: SO CLOSE! Kara saves her team from loss and this match is still up in the air, but the sisters are absolutely taking it to Club CK VIP!

Kelly raised her head, kicking at Kara to get her to let go of her foot under the ropes. She managed to do so and began to crawl towards her corner quickly, trying to make it as she glanced back to see Kara climbing into the ring to go after her. Kelly quickly made the tag as the fans erupted when Scarlett stepped through the ropes. Kincaid crouched down, waving Kara to come at her. And that’s what she did! Kara took off towards her with a lariat, but Kincaid ducked underneath. And when Kara turned around, Scarlett began to unload with big right hands to the head one after another after another. An inverted atomic drop staggered Kara backwards, as Scarlett glanced behind her to see Undine was getting back to her feet. And as she did so, Kincaid lowered her shoulder and delivered a thunderous spear to Undine! The live crowd roared in appreciation as Kincaid got back to her crouch position and waved Kara to turn around.

Mark: Scarlett Kincaid is taking on both members of the VIP, and she is absolutely a house of fire! Turn around, Kara! Almost twenty thousand people want to see Kara get speared to hell!

Lyn: The Ragin’ Cajun is letting loose... Inverted Atomic Drop, I love that move. Wait, wait... Ooh Spear!

Kara leaned against the corner with her back to Kincaid, and as she turned, Scarlett took off towards her. But Kara sidestepped her and Scarlett ran shoulderfirst into an exposed turnbuckle! The pad lay on the mat in the corner as Kara tapped her forehead with a smile, but still was feeling the effects of the atomic drop. Scarlett clutched her shoulder in pain in the corner as Davis caught sight of what happened.

Lyn: ...Well that didn’t work.

Mark: Davis just put two and two together for the first time this match, and actually got four! And Kincaid may have her shoulder separated!

Kara roused Undine a bit, pointing over to Scarlett as the Aquablonde crawled towards her. Undine applied a Fujiwara armbar, pulling Scarlett’s arm behind her as hard as she could. Davis dropped down to ask Scarlett if she wanted to quit. Meanwhile, Undine put her feet on the second rope and used it for additional leverage. The fans yelled at Undine for doing so as Scarlett’s face was a mask of pain. Kelly got back to her feet in the corner, yelling at the referee to look at Undine’s feet.

Lyn: ...Maybe Kara and Undine just pay off all the refs. I’m going to just start assuming that now. The refs are all paid off by everyone who is booed by the audience. It makes more sense than them just being idiots. TURN AROUND!...

Kelly picked up the discarded turnbuckle pad and threw it at Davis’ head. And as the referee looked up, she saw what was going on and immediately got to her feet, kicking Undine’s feet off the ropes. The Aquablonde got back to her feet, asking her what that was for.

Mark: Really? Did she really just ask why she did it? And kudos to Kelly for using a turnbuckle pad to her advantage. Don’t think I’ve seen one used in quite that way before.

Lyn: ...Well that was impressive. Good work, McGuffin. Good work.

Unhappy with the result, Undine shoved Davis backwards. The official did not take kindly to that as she shoved Undine in return. Davis grabbed her shirt and reminded her who she was, much to the fans’ delight. And as the Aquablonde gave her the finger, she turned around and leaned over to grab Kincaid. But Scarlett sprung into action, grabbing her arm and jerking her down to the mat as she immediately applied the kimura! The fans roared and Undine screamed in pain!!

Lyn: CAJUN KIMURA! Mmm... I love a good submission hold and this is one of best to watch.

Mark: Undine walked right into it! She’ll either tap or get her arm broken!

Scarlett reached back, leaning into the hold as she pushed up on her feet to give more leverage. Undine shrieked in pain as Davis asked her if she wanted to quit. The Aquablonde raised her hand above the mat as Scarlett showed no signs of releasing it.

Mark: The nearest set of ropes is on the other side of Kincaid! Undine has nowhere to go! Kincaid has used this move to great effectiveness, and we may see her pick up another win with it!

Lyn: Well, I’m hoping at least. Submission wins in tag matches are as rare as anything you’d see in-ring. Here’s hoping!

Kara hopped down off the apron, taking off around the ring. She quickly jerked Davis out of the ring, getting in her face as Undine began tapping her hand against the mat. Kara argued with the official on the floor as Undine continued to tap her hand on the mat inside. Scarlett released the hold, getting to her feet with her hand raised!

Mark: The Aquablonde tapped, but Davis is tied up with Kara on the floor!! Scarlett heard the tapping, she thinks she’s won!

Lyn: ...I want Referee Davis to go back to ref training.

Scarlett looked around to see where the referee was. And with Kara’s back to the Fight or Flight corner, Davis immediately dove out of the way as Kara turned around to find Kelly taking off down the apron and delivering a Frankensteiner that sent Kara headfirst into the floor! The fans erupted at this as Davis climbed back into the ring, while Scarlett pointed out she made Undine tap.

Mark: I’ve never seen anyone win an argument with a referee, but in this case, it’s a damn valid point!

Lyn: Yeah, but she’ll probably warn Scarlett that she’ll disqualify her, shrug and that’ll be that because SHE DOESN’T DO HER JOB RIGHT!

As Davis gave Scarlett the riot act and explained that if she doesn’t see it, she can’t call it. Undine began to get to her feet behind her. She backed into the nearest corner, waving Kincaid to face her. And as she did, Undine charged out of the corner with a running shoulder tackle. Kincaid was folded in half on the mat as Undine quickly headed for the top rope. Meanwhile, Kelly began to head for the corner to get her down. But as she did, Kara reached under the ring and screamed at her. And in her hands...a brand new Super Soaker!

Mark: Wait a minute!!

Lyn: You have got to be fucking kidding me. What insane person gave her THAT!?

Kara squeezed the trigger as Kelly ducked her head. Meanwhile Undine launched herself into a 450 splash that landed flush on Scarlett in the ring!

Mark: The AQUASPLASH!! Undine hit the 450!! And that damn water gun is bigger than the last one!

Lyn: It missed Kelly but... God damn it, the friggin’ finishing touch in Undine’s repertoire!

Undine quickly hooked Scarlett’s leg!

ONE!!!

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Scarlett got her leg across the bottom rope before the....

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Davis sprang to her feet, calling for the bell as Kara shoved Scarlett’s foot off the rope!

Lyn: ...Looking at my phone right now. Hey Mark, did you know that #FireDavisFFW is trending worldwide?

Kara slid into the ring as Davis raised both her and Undine’s hands in victory, much to the chagrin of the fans. The fans began to chant “Bullshit!” over and over again as Cory made it official.

Cory: The winners of the match....THE CLUB CK VIP!!!

Mark: You saw it, I saw it, these fans saw it! Kincaid got her leg across the ropes, but...what does it matter! Davis didn’t see a damn thing! And I agree with the chant of these fans!

Lyn: I wonder if all the FFW staff are up for review since this is still the beginning of the year. Well, good luck Davis. ...God knows you’ll need it.

As the pair celebrated in the ring, the show cuts backstage.

=================

Undine would ride the momentum of her win into Extreme Envy, where she’d pick up the #1 Contendership to the Ultraviolence Championship, going on to win the belt in May.  She’s since remained an Ultraviolence mainstay to this day, and currently sits just outside of top contendership for the belt.

Kara Harrington wasn’t so lucky, as she would stumble around for the next few months, treading water save for teaming with Undine, until disappearing entirely, resurfacing a year later, having transformed back into Wendy House

Scarlett would be dead in the water for much of 2013, until she hit her break at the Femme For All, which catapulted her to a third FFW Championship win exactly one year after this match.  Of course, she’s the FFW Champion today, now in her fourth reign.

Kelly McGuffin would go on to have the second-greatest time limit draw in company history in November, against the queen of epic time-limit draws herself, Misty Whitmore. 

FOUR CORNERS 1.24.15 (Moline, IL)

COME ON AND RIDE IT (THE TRAIN OF LIES)  

What kind of twisted, screwed up world do we live in when the Quad City DJ’s aren’t even from the Quad Cities?  Jacksonville?  Who’s fucking from Jacksonville?  Nobody!  FFW doesn’t even go there!  Think on that!  We went to the goddamn Quad Cities before we went to Jacksonville! 

I deleted my Space Jam mp3 file last night.  It was #5 on my “most played list”.  Out of 957 songs.  This is what happens when you find out your life is nothing but a cruel charade.

Four corners… not that it matters anymore.

#1: I WARNED YOU

Fourteen days ago, I said it, bold font, right here on this very website.  KATE STEELE WILL BE THE EVOLUTION CHAMPION IN 2015.  All of you looked at me like I was crazy.  #5 in the X-Travaganza?  The Game Changer?  HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND, DANIEL?

And then she went out and beat my predictions by a couple months.

I didn’t think she was going to beat Aimee Easter.  I thought she was going to put up a good showing, get a few pats on the back, everyone says “she belongs!”, and then Kate would actually win the title in some huge ass clusterfuck later in the year because that’s what Kate Steele does.

Nope, instead she just walked right into Moline and spiked Aimee fucking Easter on her head.  Un, deux, trois, ding ding ding.  And now the party’s crashed.  Kate Steele’s going to Chaos Theory to face Aimee again for the Evolution Championship.  How’s that for a turnaround of events?

Oh, and her sister, Samara Steele’s in the match as well.  You know, the woman who’s practically disowned her ever since the Game Changer stunt?  Yeah, that’s now going to happen.  With those two in the ring, Aimee might just pull a Colleen and head straight to the back.  I’m not sure I’d be up for dealing with that too.

So props to Kate, who’s just had one of the biggest weeks anyone’s had in FFW history, starting off on Tuesday by winning the Future Shock Amnesty card in a match where the deck was stacked against her (by circumstance, not design).  And then she just went out and terminated Easter’s four match Evolution domination just like that.

Kate’s gotta maintain momentum, and that’s not going to be easy over the next month.  But if she can, and she shows up at Chaos Theory the same way she showed up last night, that belt is hers.

#2: STILL NOT READY FOR PRIME TIME

Jodie Gray just lost to Alysson Gardner.

That’s nothing to be ashamed of really, Alysson’s one of the best wrestlers in the company, a longstanding Ultraviolence Champion, a Trios Champion, and one of the frontrunners in the Unity Division, as well as someone who poses a serious threat to the Evolution Championship.  And this win gives her a much needed jolt- a shot in the arm that she badly needed to get back on track. 

But that’s just it- Gardner is an Evolution-level wrestler.  So’s Kinsey DeCaro and Lightning.  Jo McFarlane’s the No Surrender Champion.  Syren’s more TV level at this point.  And all of them have decisively defeated Jodie Gray in the past year.

So apparently Jodie’s not only out to be the first ever Future Shock graduate to be the FFW Championship, but also be the first woman to lose to an entire lower division on her way up to being FFW Champion.  You have to admit… that’s quite a history making goal.

You might think this is harping, and perhaps it is.  But when someone tries the same broken record schlock over and over again, and does nothing to back it up, what else can you do?   And the sad thing of it all is that this is turning what’s actually a very good wrestler into a punch-line.  Jodie’s gone on winning streaks before.  She’d be a threat to the Future Shock, Television, heck, maybe even Evolution Championships.   But the top belt?

The evidence doesn’t just suggest no, it screams no from the roof of the FFW headquarters.  And even if (big if) she beats Valerie Lamb at Chaos Theory… it won’t matter, not in my eyes, and not in the fan’s eyes, not in anyone’s eyes. FFW Championship runs aren’t built in a single match, and this one’s not going to be either.  Especially when there’s too much evidence counting against it.

If Jodie were smart, she’d shut up about this “my year” crap, and start chopping wood in a division where she’s not going to look like a total jackass every time she opens her mouth and loses.  Aiming for the stars when you don’t have the rocket to get you there just gets you plastered into the side of a mountain.

#3: WHERE.  THE.  HELL.  HAS.  THAT.  BEEN?

Speaking of Evolution level wrestlers that needed a jolt in the arm, how about the performance of Kasey Summers last night?  Summer entered that match a shell of her former self- loser of five of the last seven, and three in a row, including a physical and psychological dismantling at the hands of Aimee Easter at Anarchy. 

But in beating Kaylee Clarke, we saw glimpses- not perhaps the entire image, but definite glimpses, of the Summer who won eight straight in route to setting new records for TV title longevity.  She looked crisp, alert, and most importantly- victorious in coming out and knocking off some stiff competiton in Kaylee.

It’s not a complete turnaround, but you have to start somewhere, and where Summer’s starting, 2015 is on pace to look a lot sunnier than 2014 ever did.

#4: IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER HOW MANY WOMEN ARE IN THAT SHOW

The Season 16 Champions made their official debut last night against a revamped Heafy squad- the same team they beat in the finals, and they just- well, there’s really no nice way of putting this- literally ran them out of the company.

Shaw thinks herself the star of the show- and honestly, there is a bit of merit to that.  She does manage to get the bulk of the attention.  But Charlotte Harker is a damn workhorse.  Without even a word of complaint (or of anything else for that matter), she gets in that ring, gives as good as she gets, but takes a ton of abuse, all seemingly in the name of making O’Neil look good.

It’s the weirdest tag team chemistry we’ve seen since Team Adonis (except, Team Adonis actually acknowledged each other’s existence… they just despised each other).  But somehow, someway, it’s working, at least so far.  We’ll see what happens when they get to the upper reaches of the division with more experienced cohesivet teams.  But for now… the OWS is getting rave reviews.

On a separate Unity note… The Burning Star Express vs. Rudo Galactica?   I haven’t even seen the BSX compete yet, and I can already tell that this is going to be the Shane Sanders of tag matches- one very, very, beautiful car crash.  Can’t wait.

UP NEXT: Oh, gee, I don’t know… ONLY THE BIGGEST FUCKING VELOCITY IN THE HISTORY OF FOREVER?!  Valerie Lamb tries to ruin everything!  Four women!  One Shot!  No Waiting!  Well, okay, waiting for the three that don’t win.  The most British Trios Match Ever!  Wait Season 17 just started why are we rolling out Season 18 OH MY GOD STOP THE MADNESS.  

2014 Power X-Travaganza (THE TOP TEN)

AND THE WINNER IS...

You ready kids?

Thirteen Days ago the Power X returned and promised a grand countdown all the way to the top, and tonight, after nine editions of working our way up the ladder, we finally arrive at the top and find out #WhoWillBeFirst.  And as you could expect, it was a much closer race than last year, coming down to between three women, but one did emrge.

Before we get to that though, a quick jaunt down memory lane, as we review the 89 women that have come before in the 2014 Power X-Travaganza

#99: Heather Jewel

#98: Taylor Heafy

#97: Veronica Taylor

#96: Elissa Heafy

#95: Mia Heafy

#94: Helga

#93: Shaelin O’Hara

#92: Heather Stripes

#91: Crystal Hate

#90: Skye Armani

#89: Abigail Lindsay

#88: Destiny Loveheart

#87: Cindy Warren

#86: Nicole Knight

#85: Wendy House

#84: Kaylee Clarke

#83: Leona Vega

#82: Willow

#81: Jessika Hexstar

#80: Lollipop

#79: Nene Abruti

#78: Amanda Gray

#77: Allison Sullivan

#76: Desirae Kain

#75: Adira Riddick

#74: Megan Caraway

#73: Holly Adams

#72: Dawn Warren

#71: Ashley Whitmore

#70: Natalya Demidov

#69: Leah O’Quinn

#68: Laura Steele

#67: Destiny Figgins

#66: Kimmi Hate

#65: Sophia Black

#64: Hayley Dark

#63: Gigante

#62: Fujiko Mine

#61: Stacey

#60: Candi

#59: Jem Michaels

#58: Angela Hinchcliffe

#57: Rhea Laskaris

#56: Freya Kane

#55: Rebecka Hate

#54: Kanna Haroshi

#53: Sylvia Crowley

#52: Ravyn Taylor

#51: Mel Avilo

#50: Hope Dawson

#49: Penny Buchanan

#48: Stephanie Sullivan

#47: Marla Lee

#46: Mercedes Vargas

#45: Meteora

#44: Camilla Pazzini

#43: Tifa Heafy

#42: Sophie Richards

#41: Stardust

#40: DJ Reiha Laine

#39: Summer

#38: Destiny Campbell

#37: Nessa Wall

#36: Arabella Black

#35: Emma MacNamara

#34: Syren

#33: Misty Whitmore

#32: Casey Atherton

#31: Jodie Gray

#30: Kinsey DeCaro

#29: Stephanie Stefano

#28: Claire Black

#27: Mileena Savage

#26: Sunny Kyoun

#25: Serafina DeCaro

#24: Gabrielle Crimson

#23: Kelly McGuffin

#22: Ignis

#21: Lilly Sheffield

#20: Lightning

#19: Starla McCloud

#18: Undine

#17: Valentina Lozano

#16: Jo McFarlane

#15: Neveah Summers

#14: Jennifer Williams

#13: Tara Thunder

#12: Madelyne McTaggert

#11: Alysson Gardner

And now, ladies and gentlemen… the Top 10 Femme Fatales of 2014!

#10: SAMARA STEELE

Ranked 36^th in 2013

2014 Record: 4-6

I don’t like her, but I gotta respect what she did in 2014.  Steele kicked the year off right by eating Arabella and Jenny Williams to become the #1 contender to the Evolution Championship- something she would later parlay into coming in last in the Evolution Chamber at Chaos Theory.  She had a great run in the Chamber, knocking off prematch favorite Aimee Easter and needing a Kinsey/Eileen team up to eliminate her.  She’d take another stab at the Evolution Title two months later at Relentless, but again come up short to Eileen.  Third time was a charm, beating Eileen and Lightning in a triple threat to win her first championship, although she’d cede the title back to Easter just over a month later.

#9: CAROLINE STARK

Ranked 24^th in 2013

2014 Record: 8-1

Caroline employed an out and out stranglehold on the No Surrender Division during the early months of 2014- so much so that those in charge struggled to even find competition for her!  That competition finally came in the form of Starla McCloud, who finally wrested the title from her in her second chance.  It’s a telling thing about Caroline and how hard she goes in the ring- it was 18 months between losses for her, and both times ended up with her being injured as a result.

#8: CRYSTAL HILTON

Ranked 13^th in 2013

2014 Record: 9-7

Third time was a charm for Crystal, who finally not only got out of the first round in the Femme For All, but went on to win the entire thing and finally give herself that long awaited push up to true main event status.  It was a phenomenal turnaround by a woman who just two years ago was considered one of the biggest train wrecks on the roster.  Hilton also of course enjoyed a double Trios title reign with her Triple Threat partners.  It’s been an honor being her manager as she’s put herself into this position.

#7: VALERIE LAMB

Ranked 1^st in 2013

2014 Record: 4-9

2014 was a cliffhanger year for Val- she spent most of it literally dangling off a cliff and trying to keep her name close to that FFW Championship, and just whenever it seemed she was ready to be shooed out of contention once and for all, she’d pull out a big win to keep herself in the conversation, most notably a monster victory over Tara Thunder at Unstoppable.  She also joined forces with the Rockin’ Kittens to form the Shades of the Sun, who picked up a nice Trios title run from August to November.

#6: EILEEN AMARO

Ranked 3^rd in 2013

2014 Record: 11-3

Come ON, Eileen!  Amaro might have actually finished the year in the #1 spot had she stuck around and not ran off to the Far East.  But something about that upset rollup win by McTaggert seemed to have broken her, even if she did turnaround and pick up a revenge win a couple weeks later.  Still, she held the Evolution Championship for a good chunk of the year, even walking into an Elimination Chamber match and keeping her belt, something that’s not easy to do.  She also made the finals of the Femme For All, before being stunned by Valentina Lozano.  She disappeared shortly after that for… reasons.

#5: KATE STEELE

Ranked 8^th in 2013

2014 Record: 9-7

How the hell can the woman who actually came up with the idea for the “Game Changer”, become besties with Madelyne McTaggert without the slightest clue she was being set up, AND be married to Todd Warren have anything close to resembling a successful year?  Yet, Kate did, against all thoughts of practical reason.  She won her first six matches of the year, including picking up the fall over Camilla Pazzini in Ten Femme Chaos.  She beat Madelyne McTaggert in a steel cage and a Hell in a Cell.  She won the Ultraviolence Championship and held it for five months.  Kate always leaves us scratching our heads, but you gotta admit, we’re so used to it now that it’s become part of her appeal.

#4: AIMEE EASTER

Ranked 4^th in 2013

2014 Record: 9-8

You have to hand it to Easter- she had her best-laid plans blow up spectacularily in her face at the start of the year, first blowing her Pick Your Poison shot to Wendy, then falling short to Eileen in a match that nearly got her killed.  She fell short again in the Elimination Chamber thanks to Samara Steele.  But still she came on strong to finish the year, winning six of her last seven and plucking that Evolution Championship away from Samara.  She now enters 2015 the same place she entered 2014- holding the Evolution Championship and ranked 4^th overall.

#3: MIKAELA DEMIDOV

Ranked 27^th in 2013

2014 Record: 5-4

When Mika was handed a shot at the FFW Championship at the Relentless PPV, everyone thought it was just a residual pat on the back for her gutsy performance in the Femme For All and beating Camilla Pazzini, and that the Russian didn’t stand a chance.  After all, her last two matches had been tag matches against Scarlett and she’d fared badly in both.  But… a funny thing happened on the way to New York, and Mika stunned the world by putting down Scarlett, embarking on a three match stretch where she put down the last three FFW Champions the company has had, including a controversial victory over Wendy Briese to become the first woman to successfully defend the top belt at Unstoppable.  Her star faded towards the end of the year, back to back losses to Scarlett and Wendy, but with the opportunities she has going into 2015, you’d have to be an absolute fool to think the fan-voted Femme Fatale of the Year out of it.

#2: WENDY BRIESE

Ranked 2^nd in 2013

2014 Record: 13-3

Wendy’s consistency just BARELY beats out Mika’s explosiveness to claim the #2 spot (And we mean barely).  Wendy ties with Neveah for the most victories by any wrestler in 2014 with thirteen, and that includes four top ten notches in singles competition (Aimee, Valerie, Crystal, and Mika) .  Of course the elephant in the room- her failure to reclaim the FFW Championship after losing it in January, looms large, and calls whether 2014 was truly a success for her into serious doubt.  But her ability to compete on a high level week after week, not to mention the fact that she was either main or co-main on every single major PPV in 2014 (actually, that’s true for the last NINE PPVs) leaves there little doubt why she was the most Beloved Wrestler last year.

#1: SCARLETT KINCAID

Ranked 11^th in 2013

2014 Record: 7-1

Could it honestly have been anyone else?  Scarlett spent over seven months in 2014 as the FFW Champion, and save for a stunning upset to Mika at Relentless, was completely and utterly dominant, a stark contrast to 2013, where she struggled after being contractually removed from the FFW Championship picture for the first half of the year.  2014 may have actually been Kincaid’s best year- she claimed the FFW Championship twice, got inducted to the Hall of Fame, and finally got the one big monkey off her back- before beating Tara, she’d never been victorious in defending the FFW Championship.   Methinks we might vote for Femme Fatale of the Year a tad too soon.

And that is it folks!  Thanks for reading, and of course, get ready for 2015- it’s already been wild, and it’s only going to become moreso from here!   And get ready for the first normal Power-X of 2015… coming on February 3!

(Because if you think I’m doing a goddamn thing on February 1… you’re nuts)