FUTURE SHOCK THERAPY: Episode 11.6 Preview

SCREW IT!  DYING TIME! 

Sorry we've been away for a bit, folks.  Just been a hectic couple of weeks, so sadly, we missed the last Future Shock Therapy, where the season was completely destroyed thanks to the decimation of one Lollipop. Initial observations point to the culprit being Velvet Raven, given that someone dressed as a ninja attacked her, Caroline "Sasha" Dallins doesn't seem to have any vested interest, and Velvet did go on to win the cage match. 

It has to be her, right?  I mean, it's not like we have anyone in this season of Future Shock who's been a master of impersonating other people, right? 

Anyways, after that catastrophe, which put Lana Star into the Top 3, the brass has said 'fuck it, we're done here' and has dropped a cow on the rest of the season.  It's the right choice.  Next thing we know, someone's going to get poisoned and Lana Star is one on one in the finals, and while the Thunderdome is one way you can make a one-sided squash massacre entertaining, it's probably better if we actually have a competitive final. 

So TRIPLE THREAT THUNDERDOME.  THREE WOMEN ENTER, ONE WOMAN LEAVES.  WELL ALL THREE WILL LEAVE EVENTUALLY BECAUSE BODIES TEND TO STINK AFTER A COUPLE DAYS.  

This match will not be for the faint of heart.  This is, arguably, more dangerous than Hardcore War, and we've seen what a trainwreck those have turned into.  So even if you were actually dumb enough to let your kids watch this season in the first place, I wouldn't let them watch the final. 

There will be a sanitized edit of the match going up at afterwards, I heard.  They can watch all fifteen seconds of that. 

THE FAVORITE: Marla Lee has dominated this season, especially the voting, and has seemed like a shoo-in to the finals as a result, even as the rest of the field fluxuated around her.  But (and this is big), SHE HASNT WON A SINGLE WRESTLING CHALLENGE.  She's dominted the non-wrestling challenges, but the Tables Gauntlet went to Helga, the Six-Way went to Velvet, and the Cage match went to Velvet.  

Which says something.  Velvet's won two out of the three wrestling challenges so far.  The last challenge was a brutal, bloody match in a cage between these three women, and it ended with her the winner.  Just because this match is even more brutal and more bloody, and the cage is electrified, doesn't lower Velvet's chances anyways. 

This one can go either way (between two of the competitors), but I'm calling it now.  Velvet Raven will be the Season 11 Future Shock Champion.