THE RUSSIANS WILL NEVER BREAK US!! WOLVERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINES!!!!!! |
Velociween started with Kinsey DeCaro (justifiably) trying to drown Jessika Hexstar and ended with one of the biggest upsets in Femme For All history. In between we saw more Meanest Girls shenanigans, Holy Cupcake part 2, and Michelle Taylor pulling one of the dumbest, most pointless stunts ever.
No, Michelle, that's not a win. And you don't get ranked. Your eleventh consecutive loss will have to wait until Emi gets healthy.
Now, as to the women who actually DID wrestle...
1. MIKAELA DEMIDOV: Demidov making the finals is probably going to go down as one of the biggest Cinderella runs in Femme For All history. And as of right now, she's toting a four match win streak that may become five by the time Anarchy rolls around.
2. SERAFINA DECARO: Cupcake is one of the most erratic wrestlers in FFW, but there's no denying that when there's a big name across from her, DeCaro brings it. The last person to beat Stacey needed the entire Power Trip, a guest ref, and a bellhammer to do it. Serafina just needed a ton of preserverence... and some very hard knees.
3. MADELYNE MCTAGGERT: It's almost painful to watch how badly the Meanest Girls are playing the poor Whitmore girls. Neither Nicole, Misty, nor any of their friends have an answer for them, and they're loving every second of it.
4. JO MCFARLANE: Jo's got the winning streak back up to three, and all but cemented herself as a challenger for the Future Shock championship with her win over Gabby.
5. HOLLY ADAMS: On another note about the Meanest girls.. it's absolutely amazing how well they keep coming up with new, interesting, and devastating ways to use chairs. Must be from all the not letting people sit at their table.
6. CAMILLA PAZZINI: On the other side of any tremendous upset is a very devastated favorite, and today, its Chunks playing that role. She's gotta do it the hard way now, but there's no denying that Cammie will work her way up to the FFW title in eventuality.
7. MISTY WHITMORE: Misty's frustration is hitting new levels where the Meanest Girls are concerned. She just cannot manage to figure them out, and you can tell it's eating her. But her focus needs to be elsewhere, with Lightning, Kelly, and the TV title now just four weeks away.
8. STACEY: You know Stacey's going to gripe about this, but looking at the replay, it does look like Fina's foot hit the ropes just before the three count hit. The worst thing for her... she's been proven thoroughly beatable now, thanks to Wendigo and DeCaro. It's going to be very interesting to see how she copes with that going forward.
9. KATE STEELE: Kate... buddy.... pal. I wasn't actually suggesting that you go and get blasted by a chair to get a win. And besides, the ref's gotta be looking anyways.
10. CINDY WARREN: "The Nurse" surprised quite a few people on Thursday night, none moreso than Haroshi, who struck out swinging on a stunning Warren roll up. I'll be keeping an eye on her.
11. GABRIELLE CRIMSON: A bummer for Gabby to be sure, but hardly the end of the world for her. In fact, I'd almost RATHER she lose before taking on Ignis, lest she end up buying into her own considerable hype. With that diminished, Gabby should be more focused than ever for Iggy.
12. KANNA HAROSHI: Tough to stick Kanna last, as there was no true out and out failure of a participant at Velocity (unless you take into account Michelle's desperate stupidity). But being rolled up by a wrestling candystriper is definitely NOT how you want to make your debut.
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