SHOW RANKINGS: Velocity 8.15.13

Wrestling can get funny at times.  We came into Thursday Night expecting a match for the ages when Valerie Lamb returned to Scotland to wrestle for the first time in four years.  Instead, we got about a whopping three and a half minutes of ring time for Val, who was shunted aside by her partner for reasons I can't even begin to fathom.  Meanwhile, the Blondetourage dominated the early beginnings of the show, making about as many enemies as you could before even having your first official match (and then some more afterwards!).  And Laura Steele won.  Anytime that happens, you just have to chalk the night up to 'Let it go, Jake.  It's Wrestlingtown'.  

Show rankings: 

1. SCARLETT KINCAID- Believe it or not, Scarlett was not the legal woman in the match for very long, but she was pretty damn effective, though, catching Chunks at the end of the night with a flash case of Scarlett Fever to pick up the victory for Fight or Flight. 

2. KELLY MCGUFFIN- Kelly took the brunt of the abuse for her team, but she still played a pretty important role, managing to sneak a tag out to Scarlett while SPectra Fantasia was arguing, and then stopping Val from breaking up the final pin. 

3. VALERIE LAMB- Once VAl finally got in the ring in her hometown, she was flat out unstoppable- the only time either of the Kincaid girls got a hand on her was when Kelly tripped her while she was trying to break up the pin.  Unfortunately for her, that was the one that made all the difference. 

4. HOLLY ADAMS- After all the hype and anticipation, the Meanest Girls didn't disappoint.  Or maybe they did since pretty much everyone and their brother was rooting for them to lose.  They didn't thanks to Holly picking apart Crystal Hate

5. MADELYNE MCTAGGERT- And Maddy took out Allison Deas/Williams/Sullivan in slightly less, but still quite, convincing fashion. And beat the hell out of poor Tessa McWhatserface backstage.  And two on oned Misty Whitmore.  Can anyone here remember anyone else having a more eventful debut night? 

6. REBECKA HATE- In what turned out to be a VERY good night for Frosted Steele (or not, because I'm not sure how happy Becky is with her partners success), Hate certainly outdid her sister in steamrolling the hapless Michelle Taylor

7. CAMILLA PAZZINI- For being in a two on one situation for most of the match (irregardless of whether or not she foolishly put herself there in the first place), Chunks actually held her own pretty decently.  But blind tagging back in with Val about to bring the fucking house down?   Even I consider that a dick move. 

8. MISTY WHITMORE- Not sure if Misty was officially in a match or not, but we'll go ahead and give her a ranking, even though it wasn't exactly the most... awe-inspiring performance of her life.  Who can blame her, though?  THe Meanest Girls are living up to their name, and Misty will be in much better shape when she teams with her sister at Sin & Sacrifice. 

9. LAURA STEELE- Its not that the British version of Sarah Peek actually managed to win a match... it's that she's now on a winning streak.  Two in a row.  I wish I was kidding. I also wish Todd was with all those things he said during the match last night. 

10. JEM MICHAELS- Whatever message NHB was hoping to send to Frosted Steele last night, I don't think they managed to get it out right.  Jem especially has had some difficulty making the transition from the indies to the major league. 

11. CRYSTAL HATE- Whatever momentum Crystal was hoping to pick up from beating Michelle Taylor hasn't really come to manifest, as she's lost her second in a row.  

12. ALLISON SULLIVAN- Changing her name (AGAIN) hasn't made things any better for Allison, who lost her third in a row and now five of her last six.  A shame too, knocking off one of the Blondetourage would have been a massive boon. 

13. MICHELLE TAYLOR- At this point, there's really nothing left to say, but to just count the losing streak as it goes up.  So... FIVE!