Power X- May 15, 2011

Once again, its time for wrestling manager and analyst Daniel Pollaski to go over the news, reviews, and previews of Femme Fatale Wrestling! All content is the sole opinion of the author and does not reflect the views of Femme Fatale Wrestling, its wrestlers, or administration. Or Wendy Briese, for that matter, so don’t go jumping her in the hallway if you get butthurt about this. Bitch.

The Power X’s Inspirational Thought of the Week

My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir
"There's nothing wrong with loving who you are"
She said, "'Cause he made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"
I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
- “Born this Way” Lady Gaga

Hey kids!

Y’know, the Pollaskinator is more of a rock guy, dance pop just ain’t my thing. But there is something about Stefani Germanotta’s music that makes every song she puts out just so damn catchy. I mean, seriously. “Poker Face” “Love Game”, “Just Dance”, Lady Gaga is the modern day Madonna hit machine.

And it’s an inspirational song, too. An anthem preaching self-acceptance and tolerance. We are who we are, and we should accept that, and others should accept us. Like you should accept me for all my quirks and scathing comments, because, baby, I was born this way!

I’m sure years of constant ridicule in grade school turning me bitter and cynical had absolutely NOTHING to do with it.

But why the Pollaskinator is all for tolerance and acceptance and all that, it’s tough to just turn a blind eye to wanton stupidity. And looking at the FFW roster, well, there were some people who were just born *that* way. Whether its Katherine “I’m saving the rookies from a completely voluntary division” Stryfe, Payton “I’m better than Sophie Richards” St. “Because I fell off a ladder” Pierre, or Sophia “Everything that comes out of my mouth” Black, FFW definitely has it’s fair share of, well, ‘special’ people.

The thing is, they are special for a reason. Like Lady Gaga says, God makes no mistakes, so he must have put people like them on Earth for a reason. Personally, I think it was to amuse the rest of us. So just remember, when we’re pointing and laughing at Traci Loveheart while she loses yet ANOTHER match, we’re not laughing out of spite, or cruelty. We’re just helping her fill her divine purpose in life.

Unless of course our name is Tiffany, in which case, there’s probably a lot of spite. And cruelty. And sick, sick vengeance, baby!

So welcome back to the Power X, everyone, your biweekly foray into the who’s who and what’s what of Femme Fatale Wrestling. And once again, we start us off with EL RANKINGS.

Or LA RANKINGAS, since it’s an all female fed.

Unfortunately, we do have to sadly bid farewell to three wrestlers in this week’s installment, as they have neither competed in the last two show cycles, nor are they scheduled to wrestle at conviction. Still, it’s always nice to give them a bit of a proper send-off, so pull out your hankies, and wipe away those tears as we say goodbye to:

SKYE (Last Ranked: 30th)
SYD ASHLEY (Last Ranked: 28th)
HAYLEY DARK (Last Ranked: 25th)

Wow, however will FFW survive without those names?

Actually, one name is kind of a shock there- Hayley Dark, one half of the Cherrybombs along with the ever-nutty Belladonna. Not sure why Hayley’s been on the shelf, but I still can’t quite get the image of her on the ramp, staring at Belladonna right after she lost to Stacey MacKenzie a couple weeks ago on Velocity.

Ah well, I’m sure it’s just my imagination, right?

As for the rest of the roster, well, unfortunately, your favorite wrestler probably dropped in the rankings this week. Because while we said goodbye to three, SEVEN new names appear on the list, expanding the rankings to a Reubenesque thirty-six wrestlers. The issue is, is that while our three departees all hailed from the bottom end of the FFW spectrum, not all the newcomers are starting off at the bottom, mainly because several of them were well-respected FFW superstars that just hand’t had a match within the proper timeframes. In fact, three of them are in the top fifteen! Care to guess who?

Anyways don’t be a drag, just be a queen. So let’s count it down, like we’re machines!

HA!

#36 JESSICA BOYETTE [-4]
For the second week in a row, Jessica picks up the ‘honor’ of kicking off our rankings. Considering that she hasn’t even been seen since her loss to Destiny Loveheart a few weeks ago (not that anyone can blame her for not showing her face after that), she might not be here that much longer.

#35 FAITH [-4]
Can’t be too shocked we haven’t seen Faith in the ring for a couple of weeks. She’s gotta still be sore after the whuppin’ Crystal Hilton placed on her!

#34 DESTINY LOVEHEART [-5]
Destiny’s selection into the Chase for the Crown was definitely a surprise. True, she’s given her all in every single match, and never backed down, but just because a guy is willing to jump into the fishtank with the Great White in it, doesn’t mean you should let them.

#33 TRACI LOVEHEART [-7]
For the second Breaking Point in a row, a chair has proven to be poor Traci’s undoing. This time, however, it’s proven to be a lot more painful, as Tiffany essentially left poor Traci for dead in that ring. Good thing she’ll get to sit out Conviction and rest up for a bit.

#32 CHARITY DEAS [-5]
Charity hasn’t been seen since she lost to Wendy a couple weeks ago, and she’s also not slated for a match at Conviction. Tough break for the sister of one of SVW’s hottest stars.

#31 VICTORIA SUMMERS [NEW]
Go ahead and call her Teflon Vickie, because every time Twisted Path gets into trouble, Vicky manages to get away more or less scot-free, while her partner gets the living shitsticks knocked out of her. That all changes this week, however. Inside that cage with Tiffany, there’s not going to be anywhere to run.

#30 RORI SNYDER [NEW]
One has to think that Lorelai is in the wrong job here- maybe excavation would have been a better profession. After all, she’s great at digging herself into holes with her mouth, and there’s no telling where she’ll hit bottom. Unforunately for her, Shane Sanders is probably going to start throwing dirt back into that hole at Conviction, and Rori is going to end up buried.

#29 MICHELLE TAYLOR [-5]
Once again, Michelle rushed headlong into a match, this time against Starla McCloud, and once again, she ended up being dropped pretty much on said head. It’s going to take a bonafide miracle for Michelle to walk out of Conviction the television champion.

#28 KASSANDRA [-5]
Kassandra’s been pretty quiet for the past couple of months, but I’ve been told that this is a woman you do NOT want to sleep on. Hopefully we’ll see just what she is capable of come Conviction.

#27 REBBECCA VALENTINE [-5]
A quick reversal of fate, and for the second match in a row, Rebbecca ends up on the losing end of things. Still, she’s still young and learning the game, and she’s three seconds away at Conviction from a complete reversal of fortune.

#26 WHITLEY MERCER [NEW]
It’s tough to say anything bad about Mercer- shame came to play against Kaitlynn Stryfe, but unfortunately, she just ended up being overmatched. I’d have loved to see what this young lady could do at Conviction, but she’ll have to settle for rooting her partner in Pwn3d! on in the Chase.

#25 PAYTON ST. PIERRE [-5]
Well, if there’s one thing you can take away from Payton’s match against Sophie Richards, it’s that she is certainly capable of doing a lot of damage. Unfortunately, that damage was to pretty much everyone but her actual opponent, but accuracy is something that can be worked on. Nevertheless, despite the double countout result, the burden of proof in that match was on St. Pierre, and she dropped the ball. Big time.

#24 GRETCHEN DONIMARI [-3]
With the Chase for the Crown looming, quite a few people have been tossing out their ‘dark horse’ picks. The fact is, if you want a sleeper pick, look no further than Gretch- if she, Ariel and Destiny can get past the first round, Donimari stands an enormous chance of pulling this off.

#23 ARIEL SHADOWS [-4]
Ariel put on a gutsy showing against Crystal Hilton, but she just couldn’t capture the same magic her friend Darren Hughes did. Still, I know Ariel, and I know the heart and spirit she has inside her- she’s got nowhere to go but up from here.

#22 LUMINA FERRARI [-4]
Considering that Ferrari’s mentor, Johnny Moxie, fired the first shot against Robbyn Helmsley last Breaking Point, you gotta wonder exactly if Lumina is now in a precarious position, as Samantha can’t be too happy with her. That she’s sitting out Conviction could be a good indication, or she could just be biding her time.

#21 JENNA MCKINLEY [NEW]
Well, Jenna is certainly one of the more... unique wrestlers to grace the FFW as of late. She’s here for the Ultraviolence, and it looks like the Ultraviolence is what she will get- a de facto #1 contender’s table match against Raven Wicked.

#20 SOPHIE RICHARDS [-5]
The Season 2 Future Shock Champion is on the eve of her huge opportunity, but the fact is, the timing might be as bad as can be. Sophie’s not concentrating on the Television Championship- her feud with Payton St. Pierre has boiled over, and it’s posing too much of a distraction. Sophie’s got two weeks to get her focus in line, or she’s going to blow the opportunity of a lifetime.

#19 WENDY BRIESE [-2]
Let it never be said that I promote my own wrestlers over everyone else in this. Personally, I know what Wendy can do, and I’d put good money that when the dust settles, she’ll be the one getting the next shot at the Evolution Championship, but right now, I just can’t justify putting her higher. That’ll be changing after Conviction, believe you me.

#18 KATHERINE STRYFE [-7]
As could easily be predicted, Kat Stryfe pretty much got her rear (and burnt, crispy hair) handed to her by Camilla Pazzini, and the Stryfe era of the Ultraviolence Championship has mercifully come to an end. Obviously, she and Rebbecca Valentine can bounce back by claiming the Unity Tag belts this week, but for now, Stryfe certainly does not look like a top 15 wrestler.

#17 CRYSTAL HILTON [-1]
After that win over Ariel Shadows, it seems a lot of people have solidly put their vote behind the Rose Goddess to win the Chase for the Crown. While I can’t quite agree with that, it’s tough to not say that she’s the hottest of the six heading into Conviction.

#16 CHARLIE GAGE [-3]
Gage is the third highest ranked wrestler to not have a match for Conviction, which is rather unfortunate, as she should have been rewarded for her awesome performance against Delilah a couple of weeks ago. Still, my ear is to the floor, and there’s talk about the Danger Queens ‘having next’ on the tag belts once they’ve been decided at Conviction. With Kassandra in the Chase, I don’t know how accurate that is, but I for one would love to see it.

#15 RAVEN WICKED [-5]
I’m kinda hoping that ‘Aunt Margo’ doesn’t get too pissed that Raven dropped five spots this week, for no other reason than the basic shuffling of things. That girl is cuckoo enough to reside in a clock. But on the wrestling side of things, she’s dangerous, and her informal entry into the Ultraviolence Divison looks to be a brutal one, with the enigmatic Jenna McKinley on the other end of things.

#14 ROBBYN HELMSLEY [-6]
Okay, I’ve ragged on Helmsley A LOT over the past month or so, and justifiably so, but I’m a fair guy. And I’m going to give credit where credit is due here. Helmsley might not have beaten Valerie Belmont on Saturday, but she sure as hell threw everything she could at her, and really, you can’t ask for much more than that. So hat’s off to a gutsy, heart-filled performance by Supergirl, and if she can prove that performance is not an anomaly, then she’ll find herself back in the top ten, and dealing with a lot less snarky comments from yours truly.

#13 DELILAH [+1]
Holy crap, someone who moved up! The Libertine didn’t exactly have the most dominating win over Rebbecca Valentine, but she showed excellent ring presence in rolling through the crossbody to pick up the win. Of course, that win is rendered meaningless if Angelic S&D can’t get the job done on the 28th

#12 SELINA [--]
Selina holds pat at the dozen mark, as it’s kinda tough to move her either way. It should be noted that Selina did lose to Katherine Stryfe at Full Frontal, so she could be hot for revenge when the tag title match comes around.

#11 STARLA MCCLOUD [NEW]
I’ve been waiting to see Starla in action for a while now, and I finally got my wish last week at Breaking Point. Have to say, I was not disappointed. There’s a lot of girls in FFW that could be classified as being ‘villians’, but it seems that when it comes to just flat out being a bitch, there aren’t many that can match this firey redhead. Starla’s got herself a fan!

#10 BELLADONNA [-1]
FFW TELEVISION CHAMPION
Miss Trixie seems to have gotten it in her head to be a white-knight as of late. First of all, her egotistical arrangement of a no DQ handicapped match against Twisted Path (which, if not for the intervention of Tiffany, would have failed miserably). And then her attempt to out fight the greatest internet warrior on the planet (being me, of course). You go back to the Stacey Mac and Angelic S&D matches, and fighting losing causes seems to be Belladonna’s theme. Not a good thing going into a four-way title defense.

#9 KAITLYNN STRYFE [NEW]
Kitty pretty much overwhelmed Whitley Mercer in her return match, which was no big shock. Now, of course, its the moment we’ve been waiting for since Full Frontal, when Kitty finally collides with her hated rival.

#8 UNDINE [-1]
The Aquablonde should be well rested going into her Evolution Championship match with Colleen at Full Frontal. Unless, of course, she’s spent the entire time dragging her sister around to various strangers’ hotel rooms. Then again, it worked- Ignis won Round 2 of Future Shock!

#7 VALERIE BELMONT [NEW]
I’m not exactly buying into the whole FFW Savior thing, but it’s nice to see my favorite Belmont (okay, the only good Belmont) back in the ring. For a second, I actually thought for a second that Helmsley was going to get the best of her, but I should have known that Val would have the tenacity to pull through it. Good thing too... the Savior woulda just looked ri-goddamned-diculous losing her return match!

#6 ANASTACIA BALDWIN [NC]
Ana hasn’t had a match since her absolute destruction of Rose Astral a couple weeks ago, and she’s not scheduled to compete at Conviction either. Still, with Rose’s daughter, Nina, set to show up, you have to wonder if Ana’s going to be hanging around waiting to see if she can collect another Astral scalp.

#5 COLLEEN [NC]
FFW EVOLUTION CHAMPION
Despite her whiny little douche of a manager, I have nothing but absolute respect for Colleen. However, while I do agree with the spirit of Col’s speech on the last Breaking Point, I have to remind her that without all the stupid drama that accompanies the FFW talent, I’d have a lot less to make fun of.

#4 STACEY MACKENZIE [-1]
After practically setting the world on fire over the past month, Stacey’s cooled off just a smidge, and fallen away a bit from the spotlight. That will all change at Conviction- if times get tough for Team FFW Stacey might be the glue that holds the unit together.

#3 CAMILLA PAZZINI [+1]
FFW ULTRAVIOLENCE CHAMPION
Chunks’ coronation as the queen of Ultraviolence finally cluminated in an Inferno match victory over Stryfe, and with all respect to the other Ultraviolence contenders, I can’t see Cammie losing this belt for a very, very long time.

#2 ISABELLA PAZZINI [NC]
Izzy hasn’t wasted any opportunities to remind the world who’s Samantha’s chosen one for the Wargames match, but so far, she’s seemed a competent captain. Of course, the true test will come when everyone’s inside that cage. I just have a feeling if FFW blows this- Isabella’s going to be falling from grace at terminal velocity.

#1 SCARLETT KINCAID [NC]
FFW CHAMPION
One other concern about the WarGames match- the announcement that Kincaid will defend her title against Pazzini on June 9th. Announcing that before the Pay-Per-View, while a good way to increase interest, could certainly come back to haunt the FFW. How well can Pazzini and Kincaid cooperate, knowing they’re going to war with each other just 12 days later? If these two turn on each other- I doubt even Stacey could keep Team FFW from falling apart.


And there you have it, folks! Of course, anyone who dislikes their position in the rankings is more than welcome to try and prove me wrong. You probably won’t , but you’re more than welcome to try.


FUTURE SHOCK THERAPY
Well, unfortunately, yours truly IS sometimes wrong. What can I say, I make a lot of predictions, and sometimes things just don’t go according to plan. But if I had ever felt there was a sure thing in my life, it would have been that Ororo Crow would have been the first one sent packing from Future Shock last week. You’d think that almost zero personality and taking the fall in the very first contest would be a surefire ticket to splitsville, but, as a wiseman once said, never underestimate the stupidity of the general populace.

Because not only did Ororo Crow NOT get eliminated... she won the freakin’ voting! I cannot put into words how mind-boggling this is. Seriously, there’s only two explanations I can possibly have for Ororo Crow being the ‘most popular’ Future Shock Rookie.

1. A ton of people weren’t paying attention, and were voting for the person they wanted to see eliminated.
2. Crow’s entire home nation of Egypt quit protesting their non-existant government long enough to ‘give this democracy thing a tryout’. Seriously, if THIS is how you guys are gonna vote, you might have well just stuck with Mubarak

So instead, the person getting bounced from Future Shock is none other than Jo McFarlane. Now, I had Jo number four on my depth chart from last week, the strongest of the losing team, but in all honesty, I’m not completely shocked at the outcome (outside of the whole ‘it’s not Ororo’ thing, of course).

Why?

Well, as much as Jo has tried to distance herself from her family, and make herself her own person, the fact remains that when people look at her, they immediately see ‘Valerie Belmont’s sister.’ And that’s generally followed up by the reaction ‘oh Dear God, not another one.’. Because while we all love Val, let’s face it, the Belmont family, as a whole, is the most annoyingly overexposed wrestling family in history.

So when voters went to the polls, they didn’t think about Jo McFarlane, a girl who gave damn near everything she had in that contest, despite being settled with two ‘me first’ teammates. They thought about someone who, by marriage, is related to Katherine Stryfe and Liam Alexander and Tabatha Belmont and, well, you get the picture. It sucks, and it sure ain’t fair, because Jo is really a likeable young lady who works hard as hell, but that’s the way it is.

At least its not really the end of the line for Jo. It was announced at Breaking Point that despite being the first bounced from the third season, Jo has applied and has been accepted to be a regular member of the FFW roster, and will face Rori Snyder on the June 9 Velocity. So congratulations to Miss McFarlane, and congratulations on your first inevitable victory. You’ll make a name for yourself yet.

But on to this week, and Future Shock headed out to beautiful LAS VEGAS, where this weeks challenge was FUTURE SHOCK BLACKJACK WITH ALEX ADONIS AS THE DEALER!

Who the fuck thought this one up?

First of all, Ororo Crow never shows up, which actually raised the entertainment value slightly. Second of all, blackjack never came into play, because the entire thing turned into Alex instituting a rule that you were eliminated if you left your seat, followed by Casey shoving people out of their chair. Third, Casey really needs to work on the ‘subtlety’ aspect of cheating. Seriously, babe, that blatant, and you’re gonna get DQed every match.

And Fourth, Mr. Showtime is fucking awesome. There, I’ve said it.

So anyways, now that all is said and done and the poll’s up...

MY VOTE GOES TO... IGNIS
As much as I hate to actually vote for Christian Kincaids ‘girlfriend’, the fact is, well, she was the winner of the game, for what it was worth. Besides, that bit with Undine dragging her around the hotel was fuggin priceless.

SAY GOODBYE TO... ORORO CROW
And this time, its official! Ororo, despite WINNING THE VOTE for the first round, didn’t bother to even show up to the second. I don’t know if she missed her flight, got it in her head that she didn’t need this, or went to the wrong hotel, but the fact is, she just pissed away a huge opportunity for herself. And it sucks, because I know one particular girl who WOULD have showed up, and loved to be here.

Ah well, let’s hope the offer made to Jo McFarlane will NOT be exteneded to Ororo Crow. Good fucking riddance.


LOOKING AHEAD
Well, there’s only one place to look ahead now, and that’s Conviction! Now, I don’t know how it goes at every other FFW Pay-Per-View, but the brass have gone all-out for this one. Nine matches are on the card, consisting of, get this... THIRTY-FOUR WRESTLERS. Now, THAT’s what I call a supercard.

Anyways, a quick rundown of the matches you’ll be seeing at Conviction 2011!

TABLES MATCH
#15 Raven Wicked vs. #21 Jenna McKinley
Getting this match, presumably, to kick off the show should set the stage for what’s going to be an action-packed evening. There dont’ seem to be a lot of women in the Ultraviolence Division, so this could actually turn into a de-facto number one contenders match to see who will face Camilla in her first title defense. We all know about Raven’s sadistic (and masochistic!) traits, while Jenna remains somewhat of an enigma. Going just on my gut, I’m gonna pick the upset here.
WINNER: Jenna McKinley

#30 Rori Snyder vs. Shane Sanders
For those of you not on the Twitterverse (and again, can’t blame you at all), this pretty much started when Rori Snyder got stupid (big shock), and started talking shit about Nick Sanders. Nick’s sister understandably took exception, and long story short, Rori’s now about to get the living shitsticks knocked out of her.
WINNER: Shane Sanders

CHASE FOR THE CROWN, FIRST ROUND- SIX WOMAN TAG
#17 Crystal Hilton, #19 Wendy Briese & #27 Kassandra vs. #23 Gretchen Donimari, #25 Ariel Shadows, & #34 Destiny Loveheart
Ah, the match I’m watching for (well, duh). Basically, a carrot will be dangling over these six women’s heads, and over time we’ll get to see who rises up to grab it (read: Wendy Briese). Six-person matches are generally tough to call, due to the chaos factor involved, but you look at the matchups involved, and it’s clear. Kassandra is CLEARLY better than Destiny Loveheart, Wendy’s likely better than Gretchen, and Crystal’s already beaten Ariel. So unless there’s a complete collapse in teamwork between Hilton, Briese, and Kassie...
WINNERS: Crystal Hilton, Wendy Briese & Kassandra

STEEL CAGE MATCH
#31 Victoria Summers vs. Tiffany
Seems like this would be a match better suited over at the Secondhand Value Wrestling show, but it’s here, so we get to watch the bloodbath that will ensue. Victoria was pretty much dead BEFORE she tried to kill Tiff. Now that the Measuring Stick is pissed off...
WINNER: All of us, because Vicky Summers is gonna die.

FFW TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
FOUR-WAY MATCH
#10 Belladonna © vs. #11 Starla McCloud vs. #20 Sophie Richards vs. #29 Michelle Taylor
The last Four-way FFW Television has gained legendary match satatus, and there’s no reason to doubt that this one will be any different. Going process of elimination here. Michelle Taylor basically needs a monstrous catastrophe to befall the other three wrestlers to come away with this. Sophie Richards is distracted, and you know that if Payton St. Pierre even sniffs an opportunity, she’s going to try and screw things up for her. Belladonna’s probably gonna be off white-knighting for some other percieved injustice that’s none of her goddamned business. So that leaves...
WINNER: Starla McCloud (say it in a Highlander Accent! Its fun!)

TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
#12 Selina & #13 Delilah vs. #18 Katherine Stryfe & #28 Rebbecca Valentine
After eight teams and a couple of months, it’s all down to Angelic S&D and the Eternal Flame. Looking back at the last two encounters between the teams, and it’s actually split. Stryfe beat Selina at Full Frontal, while Delilah pinned Valentine at Breaking Point. It’s gonna come down to teamwork ability. Valentine and Stryfe are still a new team, and learning each other, while Selina and Delilah have great chemistry. That’s gonna prove the difference!
WINNER: Angelic S&D


FFW EVOLUTION CHAMPIONSHIP
#5 Colleen © vs. #8 Undine
By far the absolute toughest match to call going into the PPV. Both women are submissionists, but Colleen’s no-nonsense approach contrasts nicely with Undines ditzy-fun loving personality. But Undine’s held this title before for a reason, so it’s tough to count her out. Almost comes down to a coin flip. But I’d like to see SOMEONE actually retain a title in this company, and since the Evolution Championship’s changing hands on the NEXT defense, I’m gonna have to go with...
WINNER: Colleen
WILL PROBABLY BE: Match of the Night

#7 Valerie Belmont vs. #9 Katilynn Stryfe
Savior vs. Sinner is the billing of the match, and while I’m still dubious about Val’s savior status, it’s clear Kitty’s got the sinner part down pat. The shocking part about this match is that, for all the hatred between the two, there’s been almost no interaction over the past couple of months. Just a couple of interviews on either side. Regardless, once these two get in the ring, the fur’s going to fly. Another tough match to call, but what the hell, might as well play favorites.
WINNER: Valerie Belmont

WAR GAMES
#1 Scarlett Kincaid, #2 Isabella Pazzini, #4 Stacey MacKenzie, #14 Robbyn Helmsley & ???? vs. Gabriella Manning, Johnny Moxie, Nick Sanders, Wendigo & ?????
Well, here we are, the final showdown between FFW and SVW. Now obviously, which each side having a card up their sleeve for the contest, there’s going to be a lot of unknown factors heading in. BUT, just look again at the rankings for the members of Team FFW. This aint’ the ‘B’ squad we’re sending into battle here, and even Robbyn Helmsley is going to do some damage if she comes in with the right mindset. SVW has a size advantage, sure. But outside of Nick Sander’s (who’s my boy!) there just ain’t much talent-meat on those bones. FFW is going to win this. They have to win this.

They fucking better win this!

Besides, SVW deserves to lose after that horribly-ran invasion last week on Breaking Point. Seriously. You have one of the members of team FFW in the ring, tired as all hell after just losing a tough match. All four of you are in the arena, in position, ready to pounce.

And you attack one at a time?

Had all four of them attacked at once, gotten Val out of there, and then held the other members of Team FFW at bay while they had their way with Helmsley, we’d still be mopping up Robbyn. But they trickled in, poorly coordinated, giving Pazzini, Kincaid, and MacKenzie more than enough time to rally. And while the brawl was sure as hell entertaining, from an SVW standpoint, it sent absolutely no message whatsoever, other than ‘we don’t know what the hell we’re doing.”

Near as I can figure, there’s still one more Aggression before Conviction. Maybe our girls oughta head over there and show them how an invasion REALLY is done. Just please, make Johnny Moxie the target.

One more point, and this is one Wendy actually made to me... something seems amiss here. I’m not sure, and maybe its just all the emotion of the event, but something seems rotten in the state of Denmark, so to speak. Somebody’s going to be sticking a knife in someone else’s back, and considering there’s not one person in SVW who would benefit from helping FFW, it’s the ladies we’re gonna have to keep an eye on. I actually have a suspicion, but I’ll keep my mouth shut for the sake of team unity. Anyways, I”m hoping I”m wrong, and both Wendy and I are suffering from a bad case of overimagnination, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t say it.

Holy crap, these columns ain’t getting any shorter, are they?


AWARDS
Cant’ have a Power X without a few awards to hand out, so let’s quickly do it.


MATCH OF THE WEEK
Valerie Belmont vs. Robbyn Helmsley
An excellent match to take us home for the pay-per-view, and you couldn’t be prouder of either lady. Robbyn Helmsley, so much maligned through most of March and April, really came through here, and you could tell the girl gave everything she had, and then some. Even with Val walking out the winner, it’s a huge moral victory for Supergirl.
Runners Up
- Camilla Pazzini vs. Katherine Stryfe: Everyone loves a good inferno match!
- Ariel Shadows vs. Crystal Hilton: Two talented newcomers brought everything they had in a Chase for the Crown Preview


WINNERS OF THE WEEK
Kaitlynn Stryfe & Valerie Belmont
Putting two returning wrestlers in a high-profile match is always a risk, because you’re never sure if one, or even both of them may have missed a step while they were away. Obviously not the case with Kitty and Val, both of whom took care of business in their return matches, to set up a clash of the titans at Conviction. I could have put ‘the fans’ in the winners line, but that’d just have been cheesy.
Runners Up:
- Camilla Pazzini: Ultraviolent Champion. ‘Nuff said
- Ignis: Girl is looking more and more everyday like the Future Shock favorite


LOSER OF THE WEEK
Katherine Stryfe
It’s been a tough fortnight for “The Beautiful Nightmare”. After making some unintentionally hllarious remarks in her pre-match interview (seriously, four weeks to come up with something, and “I wasn’t really high” was the honest to God best you got? You could have at least said you didn’t inhale!), to losing her title to Chunks Pazzini, to watching her partner get robbed of a win by Delilah. Conviction’s going to be a make-or-break show for Stryfe, let’s just hope she gets her head in the game.
Runners Up:
-Jo McFarlane: Cute, talented redheads being voted out make the Pollaski sad :(
- Robbyn Helmsley: Moral victory, yes. Hold her head high, yes. But goddamn, you knew she wanted that one.

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK
Payton St. Pierre
Dear God, does this woman ever shut up? Seriously, Payton is like a walking, talking, mouth-breathing temper tantrum. It doesn’t help that her voice goes up like six octaves when she’s pissed (which is all the freaking time!). And her actions at Velocity were just... I mean bravo, she took out Mark Horton and Mr. Showtime, but seriously! God help her when Sophie Richards finally gets her hands on her for real.
Runners Up
- Ororo Crow: Why’d she even join Future Shock in the first place?
- Team SVW: Get off my lawn, you stupid kids! (Nick Sanders excluded)

And after 13 pages, and almost 5600 words, we are DONE! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a comment! Anyways, we’ll see you after Conviction, for all the fallout, and a look ahead to the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL!

Until then... POLLA OUT!

Daniel Pollaski is an freelance wrestling columnist, and the manager of Wendy Briese. He also wants to remind the world that Sophia Black is an idiot, even if she’s mercifully off FFW Television for the time being.