POWER X- May 12, 2012

Once again, its time for wrestling manager and analyst Daniel Pollaski to go over the news, reviews, and previews of Femme Fatale Wrestling! All content is the sole opinion of the author and does not reflect the views of Femme Fatale Wrestling, its wrestlers, or administration. Or Wendy Briese, for that matter, so don’t go jumping her in the hallway if you get butthurt about this. Bitch.

The Power-X’s inspirational thought of the week:

Now here's a little story I've got to tell
About three bad brothers you know so well
It started way back in history
With Adrock, M.C.A., and me - Mike D.
Been had a little horsy named Paul Revere
Just me and my horsy and a quart of beer
Riding across the land, kicking up sand
Sheriff's posse on my tail cause I'm in demand
One lonely Beastie I be
All by myself without nobody
The sun is beating down on my baseball hat
The air is gettin' hot the beer is getting flat
Lookin' for a girl I ran into a guy
His name is M.C.A., I said, "Howdy" he said, "Hi"
He told a little story that sounded well rehearsed
Four days on the run and that he's dying of thirst
The brew was in my hand and he was on my tip
His voice was hoarse, his throat was dry he asked me for a sip
He said, "Can I get some?"
I said, "You can't get none!"
Had a chance to run
He pulled out his shotgun
He was quick on the draw I thought I'd be dead
He put the gun to my head and this is what he said,
"Now my name is M.C.A. I've got a license to kill
I think you know what time it is it's time to get ill
Now what do we have here an outlaw and his beer
I run this land, you understand I make myself clear."
We stepped into the wind he had a gun, I had a grin
You think this story's over but it's ready to begin
"Now I got the gun you got the brew
You got two choices of what you can do
It's not a tough decision as you can see
I can blow you away or you can ride with me" I said, I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border
The sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter
I did it like this, I did it like that
I did it with a whiffleball bat
So I'm on the run the cop's got my gun
And right about now it's time to have some fun
The King Adrock that is my name
And I know the fly spot where they got the champagne."
We rode for six hours then we hit the spot
The beat was a bumping and the girlies was hot
This dude was staring like he knows who we are
We took the empty spot next to him at the bar
M.C.A. said, "Yo, you know this kid?"
I said, "I didn't." but I know he did
The kid said, "Get ready cause this ain't funny
My name's Mike D. and I'm about to get money."
Pulled out the jammy aimed it at the sky
He yelled, "Stick 'em up!" and let two fly
Hands went up and people hit the floor
He wasted two kids that ran for the door
"I'm Mike D. and I get respect
Your cash and your jewelry is what I expect"
M.C.A. was with it and he's my ace
So I grabbed the piano player and I punched him in the face
The piano player's out the music stopped
His boy had beef and he got dropped
Mike D. grabbed the money M.C.A. snatched the gold
I grabbed two girlies and a beer that's cold.
- “Paul Revere” Beastie Boys

Hey Kids!

So it was with great sadness that last week we all learned of the death of Adam Yauch, aka “MCA” of the Beastie Boys.  Anyone between the ages of fifteen and forty remember the Beasties, and their hard-driven fusion of punk rock and rap.   Yauch was only 47, too soon for anyone to pass on, but his legacy will live on through his music, which rates as some of the best of the twentieth century.  

In a way, Femme Fatale Wrestling is a lot like a Beastie Boys song.  After all, we have about sixty women ready to fight (some for their right to party).  There’s definitely been a few cases of Sabotage in the last couple of weeks.  And while we’ve yet to have a Brass Monkey, we’ve certainly seen our fair share of brass knuckles.  And our shows are being beamed into outer space, so in just 200 million short years, we’ll be broadcast on an Intergalactic level.

I know, I’m starting to stretch things here.

FOUR CORNERS!
Of course, we kick things off with four observations that yours truly had made from the last couple of shows.  So here goes.

1. ISABELLA PAZZINI BLEW IT
Well, did I call that, or what?

Alright, it wasn’t exactly a tough call.  Pretty much everyone knew that it was only a matter of time before Isabella returned to the Dark Side.  Like I said a couple of weeks ago, some women are just more comfortable being the bad guy, and pissing off the fans.  Besides, Isabella never struck me as the strong, independent type.  She probably was lost without Samantha telling her what to do.

Then again, she was equally lost at Breaking Point last week.  Oh, I know, she was proud enough of herself after driving a chair into Stacey Mackenzie’s skull on a repeated basis.  The fans were outraged. Wendy was practically in tears from the commentary seat.  (Seriously, any Hollywood director reading this- take Wendy’s scream when Isabella clocked Stacey, and add it to your sound effects cache.  That’s a version of the Wilhelm for females, right there).  All was well in Pazziniland.

Except, you know, it could have been so much better, had Isabella used those brains she supposedly has...

1. Just as Shane Sanders is begging her to do, hit Shane with the chair.  I don’t care if they had it set up, just do a lovetap.  Act.  Something.

2. That disqualifies Stacey, so bye-bye undefeated winning streak.  If Isabella hates Stacey as much as she claims, what better way to strike a blow?

3. And since that technically means Shane beat the champion, guess what?  She gets a title shot.  Unless the other seven hundred times that happened in FFW isn’t officially a precedent.  Isabella is happy for her newfound friend, since they’re both in Samantha’s new clique, which I’m sure will be named something fierce and intimidating and original, like “The Power Trip” or “The A-List”  (Seriously, evil genius though she may be, Sam seems to be a bit shy in the nomenclature department).  OR!

4. Since Isabella was technically the reason Shane’s getting this title shot, she claims it should be hers.  Jeez, that couldn’t possibly be the setup for a number one contenders match, could it?

5. Win the match, face Stacey, beat Stacey, ta-da.  (I know, easier said than done, but still)

And there you have it.  And think of how goddamned awesome I’d be as a manager if I hadn’t stuck myself with a goody-twoshoes for a client.

I’m not saying that this is how I’d want it to go... everyone knows that I’m fully committed to believing in what’s best for FFW above anything else, and the aforementioned scenario certainly isn’t it.  But it’d be what’s best for Isabella, and since that’s all she obviously cares about, well, oops.  Her bad.  

At least it gives her something to think about as she sits out her fourth major PPV in the last five shows.  


2. VALERIE’S GOT SOME ‘SPLAININ TO DO
Valerie Belmont hasn’t been seen in the wrestling ring since Unstoppable II of last year, when her leg was severely injured by Kaitlynn and Katherine Stryfe in the Elimination Chamber.  Shortly afterwards she found out she was knocked-up, and hence, what seemed like a month-long injury turned into a nine-month pregnancy.  And save for her frequent tweeting, all we saw of Val was her via satellite Skype appearances when she was interviewed by Mark Horton.  They were interesting enough diversions, an entertaining and fan-friendly way to eat up the first ten to fifteen minutes of the show.  But what everyone wanted was Valerie Belmont LIVE.  And just a couple days ago, at Velocity, we got it.

And got a very unfortunate glimpse of Valerie’s true colors.  Because either this woman’s been playing everyone as a sucker, or she’s clueless as fuck.

Now far be it from me to turn a simple five minute segment on television into a witch hunt (or vampire hunt, whatever), but when you see Valerie Belmont, supposedly one of the most beloved wrestlers in FFW history, greeting Samantha Star like a sister, well, that’s gotta raise a red flag.  Neverminding that this was the same woman who fired Val a year and a half ago, and brought in Kaitlynn to wreck her debut last March.  Val’s back.  Sam’s there.  Kissy kissy. Ooh, who wants to be special guest enforcer referee?  I do!  Barf.

You wanna know the real sad thing?  Let’s go back into the wayback machine.  Twitter, April 17.  Val?

@JoJoFemmeFatale I would kill you if it were not for the fact you are my blood.

Of course, that would be the night of the eternally memorable Tweetwar between now ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Jo McFarlane and Chris Strike.  For the sake of Chris, I won’t go into the gory details that were revealed, but let’s just sum it up and say that Jo revealed herself to be even more of a self-absorbed petulant bitch than we’d ever imagined.  Val, understandably, was offended.  Hell, a lot of people were.  

Here’s the kicker- who do you think turned Jo into that self-absorbed petulant bitch?  Or, in the event that Jo already was one, at least enabled her and encouraged her behavior?

If you guessed a Samantha Star, get down to the grocery store and play the claw game until something drops in the hole, because you won a prize!

Samantha wined and dined Jo ever since she arrived in FFW.  Shopping trips on Rodeo.  First class plane tickets.  Sleepovers at her mansion.  The nicest suites on the road.  Hell, she’s still doing it- she just bought Jo’s brand spanking new ring gear (which, by the way, looks AWESOME in this upcoming poster showing Wendy breaking her in half with the Banshee.  Seriously, check it out.  Should be in the merch stands at Conviction).   Gee, could it possibly be construed that Samantha’s gone and bought Jo’s loyalty?

And come to think of it, hasn’t Samantha made a couple of trips across the pond as of late to hang out with Val?  And didn’t she buy her some nice presents too?  I know there was the infamous 101 Dalmations incident that came out on Twitter, but it’s not too farfetched to believe that there might be some other, more practical gifts bought in that time as well.  And was Val’s loyalty, in turn, purchased as well?

Seems to me that Mrs. Belmont has some explaining to do.

Maybe I’m wrong about this.  No one’s ever accused Valerie of having much brains, so it could be that she just simply doesn’t exactly comprehend that hanging out with Samantha Star doesn’t send the best of messages at this moment.  Maybe she actually thinks she can play both sides of the fence.   Who knows?  But a bit of an explanation would be nice.  

Of course, I doubt we’re gonna really get one.  Val will probably come up with some lame diversionary tweet, likely preceeded by “It’s funny how..” since the McFarlane family seems to do that every time one of them gets butthurt.

But dear fans.  Don’t just cheer just because she’s Valerie Belmont.  Dont’ back down on your demand for the truth here.  Because you guys have supported that woman through hell and high water.  It’s only right that she gives you an explanation for why she’s buddying up to an owner who takes you for granted and treats you as an afterthought.

Because when the truth comes out, you might not be as happy to have her back as you think.


3. EITHER THE ULTRAVIOLENCE OR EVOLUTION CHAMPIONSHIP WILL CHANGE HANDS AT CONVICTION
And no, I’m not ruling out both, either.

Here’s the deal.  There’s six titles in FFW.  We KNOW the FFW Championship isn’t changing hands, because it’s not being defended.  We also know the No Surrender Championship IS changing hands, because Wendy’s going to come as close to raping Starla as a prude possibly could.  The other four I think can go either way.  The tag title seems more likely to change, the Television less.  But the Evolution and UV titles?  Hang on to your fucking hat.

Here’s the deal.  Both champions coming into the match are cold.  Ice cold.  Camilla hasn’t defended the title since Cold Blooded- hell, I don’t even think she’s competed since then.  That’s coming up on four months, for those of you keeping track.  Tara’s been a bit more active, but her title hasn’t been up for grabs since before Chaos Theory.  It’s fairly easy to rack up the longevity records when you don’t have to defend the damn thing.

Tara’s dangerous, sure.  She’s completely unbalanced and paranoid.  If we were to leave her for two months at a kitten farm, we’d come back to two months worth of dead kittens.  There’s no such thing as complacency for Tara, her mind won’t allow it.   But if there’s anyone who’s going to take that title off of her, it’s Eileen Amaro.  Ever since she got stunned against Alyssa Foxworthy, Eileen’s gone on a tear, shredding everyone who’s gotten in her way, and she’s been eying that Evolution Title for a long time.  Tara’s insane aggression got her past people like Hilton, Williams, and Elliott, but none of those women are as technically adept as Eileen is.  Not even fucking close.

Eileen needs to play this match like her namesake.  Recede, let Tara burn herself out, and draw her in.  Then come back in a huge mad rush that’s going to bury Tara, and sweep her out to sea, leaving nothing but a nice shiny new title for Eileen to claim.  If she can do that, we’re going to have a new champion.  But easier said than done.

The UV division is an even trickier call.  Camilla is dominant.  Flat-out dominant, and even with three UV-style matches under her belt, Cara’s chops in the division aren’t anywhere close to Cammie’s.  But Cara’s the plucky type, and plucky does well.  Especially the overconfident.  And Camilla has become the soul of overconfidence.

And honestly, is there another champion who deserves to lose more than Chunks?  What champion would sit out for four months?  

Camilla’s always been a bragger, and a troll, but at least she used to be witty about it.  Sometime in the past few months, that’s gone away.  Now it’s all “I’m awesome” this and “they suck” that.  It’s like she’s become a parody of herself.  And not a hillarious SNL-style parody.  More like a lame Mad TV parody.  One where you roll your eyes and go, ‘okay, whatever’.  

Sadly, since Camilla’s not competing, she’s not losing, so it’s damn hard to drop her far in the rankings.  I’d say it’s time someone changes that, or at least rouses Chunks from her complaency.  Cara?


4. DANIEL POLLASKI NEEDS YOUR HELP
Okay, so this isn’t exactly a typical Four Corners point, but I’m gonna do it anyways.

You might notice, as you read this weeks column, that there’s going to be a section missing, namely, the “Incoming!” section, which highlights the upcoming matches.  That’s because, well, we got a PPV coming up, and the more and more I think about it, the more and more I realize that something that epic deserves a column all to itself.  So expect the Conviction Preview column sometime next week.  

But here’s my idea.  Instead of just reading my take on the matches (you’ll get plenty of that, no doubt), why not get the wrestler’s themselves take on the upcoming contests?   So, I’m looking for volunteers.  Wendy’s already on board, so that means I need thirteen other women to give their take on a match.

Now, you won’t be asked to preview your own match.  I figure you guys do that well enough in your cute little promo videos.  But I think it’d be interesting to hear Kat Stryfe’s take on the tag title match.  Or Wendy’s take on the hardcore war.  Or... you get the point.

So FFW women!  If you want in on this, hit me up, and I’ll come up with a match for you to preview.  Just shoot me a paragraph with your take on it, and help your good old columnist break down what’s going to be an absolutely phenomenal PPV.  


RANKINGS!Okay, another new format for rankings.  Just keeping it simple, really.  Two newcomers, but four dropoffs (Sophie Richards, who’s disappeared; Danielle Mason, who officially isn’t a wrestler yet; Destiny Loveheart, who officially isn’t employed anymore; and Dani Thompson, who I’ve officially forgotten about.)  That leaves forty-eight women.  So...


#48- SARAH PEEK [=]
Sarah finally finds herself back in the cellar after taking a couple weeks off.  

#47- TRACI LOVEHEART [Returning]
Just a guess, but I doubt she’ll be any more effective with no hands and blindfolded against Allison Wright than she was with both hands and sighted against Crystal Hate

#46- WHITLEY MERCER [-1]
Wait... dressing like a five dollar whore and dying your hair blonde DOESN’T automatically make you a better wrestler?  *Stunned*

#45- STEPHANIE SULLIVAN [=]
Um, yes. According to my sources, she IS still employed.

#44- ELIZABETH SHOWTIME [=]
They both might be Welsh, but after that match with Lightning, Lizzy was just grape jelly.

#43- KENDALL BURKE [=]
Thanks to Whitley’s dyejob and Gabrielle’s firing, has now officially become “Pink Haired Slut #1”  Congrats!

#42- ALYSSA FOXWORTH [=]
If she’s gonna run at Conviction, she might wanna do it BEFORE the cage door closes.  Otherwise things might get difficult.  Alyssa obviously doesn’t do difficult.

#41- ALLISON DEAS [=]
Ra ra re!  She’s just a stupid Deas!  Ra ra ras!  That doesn’t give her a pass!

#40- TRINITY [NEW]
Peek wanted an upset, but Trinity wanted nun of that.

#39- HANNA ELLIOT [-1]
At the rate she’s going, expect to see Hanna get her next match sometime in July.

#38- LIGHTNING [+2]
Good news for Lightning- once she collects the whole Cheers & Jeers set, she can trade them in for a shot at an opponent who’s actually decent.

#37- KARA HARRINGTON [=]
Remember when I said last month that Kara would then disappear for another two months?  Welp...

#36- TABATHA BELMONT [=]
Maybe I should add a new rule that I actually have to remember you’re still in the company before I rank you.

#35- SARAH RICHARDSON [=]
Okay, this is just getting ridiculous.

#34- REBBECCA VALENTINE [-3]
“So, um... Kat.  Remember that tag team we had going?”

#33- ARIANNA MILLAR [-5]
*UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION*
Showed she can bounce, but doesn’t quite have the pounce part down.  Then again...

#32- ALLISON WRIGHT [+7]
Either Allison’s got the hearing of a fucking bat... or we’re being played on this blind thing.  And Tyler Kimble’s a douche.

#31- JODIE GRAY [+2]
Season 5: Jodie Gray does no work and gets the pin.  Season 7: Jodie Gray does all the work and, well...  Life’s a bitch.

#30- LUMINA FERRARI [-7]
Not competing at Conviction, so should use the upcoming time off to really get focused on doing some damage during the European tour.

#29- JENNIFER WILLIAMS [+1]
Maybe she thought screaming like that would have broken up the pin?  I know it broke my eardrums.

#28- ELIZABETH BLACKWELL [+1]
Blackwell really should have known she had the wrong girl, considering that Jodie is 20 pounds lighter than Casey, wearing differently cut ring gear, and screaming “Put me down, you crazy bitch, I’m on your team!”  

#27- SHANE SANDERS [+5]
Upon reading the first part of my Four Corners section, Shane’s gotta be pissed over what might have been.  Of course, it’s all Nick’s fault.

#26- ARABELLA DE ROSSI [=]
After the rehab center started screening her calls, Arabella’s taken to yelling “COLLEEN, ARE YOU DONE WITH REHAB YET?!” out the window every morning.  Of course, they hear her.

#25- MELANIE AVILO [-2]
So we’re all clear going into the match this time, right?  Jodie Gray CAN wrestle.

#24- CRYSTAL HATE [-2]
Had a good match in her adopted hometown.  Unfortunately, we’ll never go to her real hometown, since Samantha’s blacklisted the fourth circle of Hell after they shunted us for a Marilyn Manson concert.

#23- SABRA NICOLYEV [+11]
Sabra’s tearing through opponents like she’s in a hurry to get to the top.  Makes you wonder why she’s Russian so fast.

#22- JO MCFARLANE [-3]
I would say something here, but she might not read the column and think I’m talking about her behind her back again.

#21- HAYLEY DARK [+4]
Is it just me, or has anyone noticed that Hayley’s like the only one on the roster to not have a significant other in like, the past year?

#20- KATHERINE STRYFE [-2]
“Becky, for the last time, I’m not interested in reforming the Eternal Flame!  At least until I lose to Emma and completely run out of alternatives.”

#19- CASEY ATHERTON [-2]
I could make a joke about assault here, but after Trinity and Sabra’s entries, I’m sure you already hate me enough by now.

#18- IGNIS [+2]
Any match where you get to finish by staring down at your opponent while your partner makes the pin is a good one.

#17- CARA STONE [+7]
Alright Cara, you asked for it.  You got it.  Don’t fuck it up.  No pressure.

#16- CAROLINE DALLINS [+5]
She’s becoming more scary and more dangerous with each passing day.  Especially now that she’s regained full use of her vocabulary.

#15- JENNIFER STRYFE [-2]
For those of you keeping score, that’s now Kaitlynn 5, Jenny 1.  The 1 was when Jenny’s salsa beat out Kaitlynn’s chili at the FFW Christmas cook off.

#14- EMMA MCINTYRE [+2]
Add this to the Conviction injury report:  Emma’s got a strained abdominal muscle, injured when she spent fifteen minutes laughing her ass off as Katherine Stryfe got pinned for the second time by Crystal Hilton.

#13- EILEEN AMARO [+2]
Jodie and Jennifer can pose all they want.  But bitch, please.  This is the ORIGINAL gamer gurl right here.  And soon to possibly be Evolution Champion!

#12- CRYSTAL HILTON [+2]
The last thing you should do in a huge clusterfuck match like that is drag yourself to the top rope, and spotmonkey.  At any moment, you can be knocked off, so the fact that Hilton got away with that is goddamned amazing.  And she’s got Alyssa Foxworthy next... hello winning streak!

#11- KELLY MCGUFFIN [=]
Hey, remember her?  Finally gets that long-awaited TV Title shot.  Remember, though- Summer’s BY FAR the toughest test she’s yet to face.

#10- DESIRAE KAIN [+2]
*UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION*
Kain finally breaks into the top 10 after a huge (albeit tainted) win over Jennifer Stryfe.  Question now is does she have enough to carry the floundering Arianna to another defense.

#9- ISABELLA PAZZINI [+1]
Honestly, I think I’ve said all that needs to be said already.  We’re done here.

#8- STARLA MCCLOUD [=]
*NO SURRENDER CHAMPION*
While the rest of us had the Cabin In the Woods, Starla’s had her own horror movie the past month: replays of Wendy locking on the Banshee on Jo, Whitley, Starla, Stephanie, Lumina... you get the picture.

#7- SUMMER [+2]
*TELEVISION CHAMPION*
If she beats Kelly, expect a long reign.  Like, Sophie Richards long.

#6- KAITLYNN STRYFE [-1]
Takes a simple drop down due to noncompetition.  If she beats Stryfe convincingly enough at Conviction, though... we might have to look at that rule about who can be #1.

#5- WENDY BRIESE [+1]
There’s a photoshopped picture of Wendy and Nick Sanders going around, and I’d say they make a cute couple.  At least until Terrence beats Nick to death with a tire iron.

#4- CAMILLA PAZZINI [-2]
*ULTRAVIOLENCE CHAMPION*
Why the hell I haven’t been dropping her for noncompetition before now, I don’t know. Even I make mistakes.

#3- TARA THUNDER [=]
Was an absolute beast in the 8 woman tag match, but to no avail.  Her and Eileen could easily steal match of the night.

#2- SCARLETT KINCAID [+2]
The Power X has been going on for over a year now.  Scarlett is the only one who’s appeared in the top 5 in every issue.  That’s incredible, given that no other woman has even stayed in the top 10 the entire tenure.  A big congrats to Scarlett (and yet another reason why Kincaid needs another title shot!)

#1- STACEY MACKENZIE [=]
*FFW CHAMPION*
I don’t know what’s scarier, the prospect of the FFW Champion not even wrestling at a PPV... or the knowledge that this show is so goddamn loaded, we don’t even need her.

That’s how awesome we are.  Suck on that, reject company.

AWARDS!
For awards tonight, we have none other than the number one contender to the evolution title (not to mention the hottest BRUNETTE in the company) Eileen Amaro!  Take it away, Eileen!

MATCH OF THE WEEK: Stacey Mackenzie versus Shane Sanders
I had a tough time choosing this one because, well, the eight-woman tag team match was off the hook insane and I was a big fan of Wendy beating Jo senseless too. But if anything, this was just a full-fledged performance between a woman willing to bring herself to pick up a win here no matter what in the honor of a fallen friend against a vile human being who was planning on doing anything to get herself a win. Hard-hitting, teeter-totter contest that went way more rounds than a game of Tetris for yours truly. It’s just an absolute shame that this ended the way it did….godeffindamnit!!!!

This was seriously Shane’s best in-ring performance since she beat Colleen.  She gave Stacey a lot.  Shame Isabella wrecked the ending (and then wrecked the wrecking of the ending).  Runners Up
- Season 3 vs. Season 5: Screw the Eight woman (which was awesome in its own right, but...).  This match was completely off the charts!  All six women actually did quite a bit during this match, so it’s gonna be really hard to see who gets voted off.  Obviously, it SHOULD be Jo McFarlane (we have a tradition to uphold!), but you never know.
- Stone vs. Valentine: Ruined a little bit by Camilla’s stilted, bland commentary, but it was actually a really good match between two women trying to make it in the UV division.

WINNER OF THE WEEK: Sabra Nikolayev
I have seen her work due to Chris working in another company alongside her and the so-called “Queen of Sin” has the looks, the skills and everything else to make an impact here in FFW. Her climb up the ladder took a few falls after Jo McFarlane somehow pulled a win out of her ass – she tends to do that often enough though, yours truly has been proof of it in the past – but ever since, Sabra’s been an ass-kicking machine. Beating Lumina Ferrari is a big step back up on the ladder and it wouldn’t surprise me if come the end of the year, if all goes well, I’m fighting her with the Evolution title on the line. ‘Sabracadabra’ is also something we’ll end up seeing in lots of merchandise soon enough – pretty sure of it.

Again, can’t argue with this.  Sabra’s won three matches in five shows, against stronger competition each time.  We’re starting to see why everyone went “aw, snap!” when she entered
- Cara Stone: Sometimes you just need the right break, and Cara got that, and capitalized huge, to get herself to the #1 contender spot in the UV division.
- Allison Wright: Even the blind girl could see that she badly needed a win over an actually legitimate opponent.  She got that over Arianna.   And now... free win at Conviction!

LOSER OF THE WEEK: Jennifer Stryfe
You know, there is absolutely no shame in losing to Desirae Kain. She’s one of the best athletes and wrestlers we’ve got on the roster. But at the same time, it wasn’t just the crushing loss prior to Conviction but the fact that Kitty’s bat was lonely and found its mark right upside Jenny’s head – seriously, that was a Josh Hamilton level home run if I ever saw one. As Dan eloquently put it, Kitty went rollerball on the Queen with the spiked gloves and then darn near tried to thundershock Jenny with the car batteries. Just goes to show that we’ve got an ugly war ahead to witness in Denver…

...which has seen its fair share of ugly wars.  Particularily when the Red Wings come to town.
- Lumina Ferrari: She herself said she needed that win to stay competitive in the TV title division.  The loss to Sabra was a crushing setback, one she’ll desperately need to rebound from once the PPV’s over.
- Cheers & Jeers: Elizabeth Showtime bragged about beating the Danger Queens.  Bitch please.  They’re turning INTO the Danger Queens.

DOUCHECUNTBAGNOZZLE OF THE WEEK: Isabella Pazzini
…I could have easily given this one to Shane given all that’s been going on lately. Really, I could. But instead, I’m going to dedicate this specific award to none other than the Judas herself. You know what, I honestly could give less of a monkey’s butt as for her reasonings – but I know a goddamn vermin when I see one and seeing her make her way out with Shane and that bitch Eden told the entire story. I hope you’re happy with yourself for what you did to somebody I consider a friend. I hope you’re ecstatic with the fact you sold your soul to the same devil that helped leave you an unconscious mess inside of the Elimination Chamber once. I also hope that one of these days, I get you one-on-one in the center of the ring. Because if I do, guess what? I’m not going to hold back. BITCH, I'M GONNA EVISCERATE YOU AND USE YOUR GASTROINTESTINAL TRACT AS A CONDOM WHILE I FORNICATE WITH YOUR SKULL!!! AND IF YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND THIS BIT OF ENGLISH, YOU TWO-FACED ITALIAN SALAMI GUZZLING WHOREBAG: AVRETE LA CAGNA A CALCI IN CULO!!!!!!!

Hey, Eileen, when I ask you to do awards, I want to know how you REALLY feel.  And what exactly would you put the condom on?    
- Valerie Belmont: Might as well make this a pointed reminder that Izzy might not be the only one who’s sold her soul to the red-headed she-devil. *Ahem* Demand accountability, FFW faithful.
- Caroline Dallins: She called Alex Houser an honest man.  That immediately says somethings up.

Well, guys, I think that’ll do it for tonight’s edition.  Be sure to check back VERY soon, when I have the Conviction PREVIEW issue!  And remember, anyone who wants to contribute needs to hit me up ASAP!

Until then...

POLLA OUT!

Daniel Pollaski is an independent wrestling columnist, SVW wrestler, and the manager of FFW star Wendy Briese.  He’s still in morning over the Red Light of Death that appeared on his X-Box a week ago.  And just as he was getting set to hit the Warriors Orochi 3 DLC too...