Power X- March 21

Once again, its time for wrestling manager and analyst Daniel Pollaski to go over the news, reviews, and previews of Femme Fatale Wrestling! All content is the sole opinion of the author and does not reflect the views of Femme Fatale Wrestling, its wrestlers, or administration. Or Wendy Briese, for that matter, so don’t go jumping her in the hallway if you get butthurt about this. Bitch.

The Power-X’s inspirational thought of the week.

Running hot,
Running cold,
I was running into overload,
That was extreme
I took it so high, so low, so long,
There was no where to go like a bad dream.
Somehow that wires uncrossed,
The table were turned,
Never knew I had such a lesson to learn.
I'm feeling good from my hat to my shoe,
know where I am going and I know what to do,
I've tidied up my point of view,
I've got a new attitude.
I'm in control,
My worries are few,
'Cause I got love like I never knew,
ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo...
I've got a new attitude,
I am wearing a new dress, a new hat,
Brand ideas,
As a matter of fact,
I've changed for good.
Must have been the cold nights, new moon,
Night changes,
Or forget your love for just being like I should.
- “New Attitude” Patti LaBelle


Hey kids!

Well, I’m back, recovered from a bit of burnout and ready to get going on the Power X again.   Been doing some thinking over the past couple of weeks.  Actually, I’ve been doing a LOT of thinking, given that I have a wrestler who was on a losing streak about to go into a match she theoretically has no chance of winning, but I’ve been thinking about the column too.  So we’re gonna change formats up a bit, mainly in the rankings session.  Because while I do enjoy writing this for you guys, I also would like to not have to devote an entire day to doing it.

So let’s get going.  First of all, apologies to Lumina Ferrari and Arianna Millar.  Unfortunately, the last time I did these rankings, I rushed it, and somehow Lumi and Arianna got left off the list.  They’re back on this week.

Unfortunately (actually, no, this is kind of a good thing), we’re seeing four drop offs as well.  Namely the Danger Queens, Kassandra and Charlotte Gage, who have been Power X mainstays, albeit unfortunately at the bottom.  Those two never quite recovered from the letdown when they failed to win the tag titles last July at Unstoppable.  With luck, a bit of time away might be just what the doctor ordered, and we’ll see them back in six months ago, with the tag division firmly put on notice.

Also dropping out is Lisa Richardson, who, like her sister Sarah, is the bane of all joy in life.  We all remember Lisa’s horrific debut with her friend Mika Demidov, and we haven’t seen her since.  God willing, it’ll stay this way.

Oh, and Kara Harrington’s off due to noncompeting.  Yeah, again.

Alright, you guys ready for the new look power X rankings?  Get ready?  OMG... HERE WE GO!

Okay, it’s not gonna be that groundbreaking, but bear with me.

#45- CHARITY DEAS [+1]
#44- SARAH PEEK [NEW]
#43- ALYSSA FOXWORTH [-1]
#42- STEPHANIE SULLIVAN [-1]
#41- WHITLEY MERCER [-1]

So let’s see here.  Charity Deas lost again.  Sarah Peek lost her debut.  Whitley Mercer got destroyed by Eileen Amaro.   And Alyssa Foxworth & Stephanie Sullivan didn’t compete.  Yup, sounds like another day down at the bottom of the FFW barrel, doesn’t it?  At least for Stephanie’s sake, she has a chance at some glory, riding her girl Kimberly’s coattails to a potential Unity Tag Title reign.  As for the rest... let’s just move on.

#40- ELIZABETH BLACKWELL [-1]
#39- ALLISON DEAS [-1]
#38- ALLISON WRIGHT [-2]
#37- ARIANNA MILLAR [Returning]
#36- LIGHTNING [-2]

So Arianna Millar isn’t really returning, she just got left off by a slight mistake on my part the last column.  Still, she’s back on after a pretty decent win with her and Desi over Arabella and Jo.  Blackwell’s backslide continues, as she lost another tough one, this time to Sophie Richards.  And while Allison Wright didn’t compete, she certainly made her presence known thanks to her blind cane thingie bouncing off of Emma McIntyre’s skull.  Yeah, Emma won’t be wanting revenge for that, or anything.

#35- MIKA DEMIDOV [+2]
#34- CLAIRE BLACK [+1]
#33- ARABELLA DE ROSSI [-2]
#32- SHANE SANDERS [-4]
#31- TABATHA BELMONT [+1]

Mika Demidov might just be the new Payton St. Pierre, an annoying twat who thinks she’s the greatest that ever lived because she won one single match.  Here’s a newsflash: Beating Charity Deas doesn’t mean anything, comrade.  Neither does beating Sarah Peek, for that matter.  Arabella seems to be at a crossroads, as she’s lost two straight now, and it’s up in the air how well the Violent Femmes will operate at Chaos Theory thanks to Colleen’s extended absence.  Shane’s had equal heartbreak over the past few weeks, the latest coming in a loss to Camilla with the Ultraviolence Title on the line (not that anyone expected her to win).  And Tabatha’s been more than happy to stay out of the ring for the time being, but you know her eyes are on Elizabeth Blackwell.  

#30- LUMINA FERRARI [Returning]
#29- KIMBERLY ARIES [+1]
#28- JODIE GRAY [+1]
#27- HANNA ELLIOT [=]
#26- CRYSTAL HATE [=]

Before I go any further, can we all just get over the whole “OMG JODIE GRAY CAN ACTUALLY WRESTLE” thing?  I mean, she signed up for FFW.  I mean, seriously, we’re at, what, two months here, and people still haven’t picked their jaws up off the floor.  So seriously.  Ess-tee-ef-you.  Oh, and Jodie needs to commentate a bit more.  That was awesome.  Meanwhile, Lumina keeps losing these close heartbreakers, the latest a potential launchpad match to Starla McCloud.  Crystal Hate can sympathize, she’s lost a few now too, to some rigid competition.  Maybe they should face each other.  Oh, wait...

#25- JO MCFARLANE [-3]
#24- REBBECCA VALENTINE [+1]
#23- ALYSSON GARDNER [+1]
#22- EILEEN AMARO [+1]
#21- JENNIFER WILLIAMS [=]

If the time comes for Jo’s match at Chaos Theory, she doesn’t come out, I’d suggest we all look under the bus, because that’s exactly where SVW star Christian Kane threw her this past week on Uprising, with his insinuations that Jo is a dirty whore.  Trouble brewing?  Indeed.  Trouble’s also brewed for Becky Valentine, thanks to being disqualified because Allison Wright saw fit (HA!) to bash Emma over the head and cost her a win.  Gardner and Amaro both picked up good wins this past week, giving them some much needed momentum for big contenders matches at CT.  And Jennifer Williams stands on the sideline, wondering what the fuck she’s gone and gotten herself into.

#20- CARA STONE [-1]
#19- EMMA MCINTYRE [-1]
#18- MELANIE AVILO [+2]
#17- SUMMER [=]
#16- DESIRAE KAIN [-1]

It’s been weird how quiet shit’s seemed the past couple of weeks with no Cara around.  Hopefully she’ll be just as loud and energetic as possible when she returns at Chaos Theory.  Meanwhile, Emma’s gotta be stewing over being punked by Allison Wright again, that match at CT might be one of the most underrated of the evening.  Mel might be stewing as well, thanks to Jodie’s rather disingenuous (but hillarious!) commentary, but she’s riding high as well with another big win.  Summer got a great scouting opportunity, sitting ringside for Sophie’s match against Blackwell.  And poor Desirae Kain can’t catch a break, this time watching her husband take the fall in a mixed tag match, thanks to two nutshots and a pair of brass knux from team Adonis.  Seriously, we may be coming to a time here where Desi might just have to choke a bitch.

#15- ISABELLA PAZZINI [-1]
#14- CRYSTAL HILTON [-2]
#13- CASEY ATHERTON [+3]
#12- STARLA MCCLOUD [+1]
#11- QUEEN MACHINE [=]

It’s been several months since her fall from grace, but it’s still weird to see Isabella, who used to spend so much time at the top of the card she could claim residency, not even on a PPV, as she is for the second time in three big ones.  Neither’s  Crystal Hilton, come to think of it, as she’s trying to pick up the pieces after another disappointing loss to Tara Thunder.  Both girls of Team Adonis are riding rather high, however.  It was bullshit, but Casey and Alex got a win over Desirae and Simon Sensation, while Starla McCloud won a VERY tough match against Lumina Ferrari.  And meanwhile, Jenny just watches.... and waits.

#10- KATHERINE STRYFE [=]
#9- KELLY MCGUFFIN [=]
#8- KAITLYNN STRYFE [-2]
#7- COLLEEN [+1]
#6- SOPHIE RICHARDS [+1] *TELEVISION CHAMPION*

Neither Kelly nor Katherine are set to go for Chaos Theory either (a lot of big names are going to be off the show this time around).  Colleen is, however, and she makes a long awaited (or not, if you’re one of the 6 billion people who don’t like her) return to team with Arabella.  Meanwhile, Sophie kept her streak going (she hasn’t lost since July) with a very convincing win over Elizabeth Black well, while all the while #1 contender Summer looked on.  And then there’s Kaitlynn Stryfe, who had her birthday ruined thanks to my client.  You know Kitty’s going to want to take that out on someone.... and whadya know, she has the perfect target too...

#5- WENDY BRIESE [=] *NO SURRENDER CHAMPION*
#4- TARA THUNDER [=] *EVOLUTION CHAMPION*
#3- SCARLETT KINCAID [=]
#2- CAMILLA PAZZINI [=] *ULTRAVIOLENCE CHAMPION*
#1- STACEY MACKENZIE [=] *FFW CHAMPION*

It should say something about the quality of the Championship picture when all five of our singles title holders have worked their way into the top 6 slots, with the only exception being the number one contender to the FFW Championship.  None of these belts are going to be easy to pry away from anyone.  Meanwhille, no reason to change the top 5 around.  Stacey and Scarlett didn’t compete, but that’s probably excusable given that they’re set to do battle for the biggest prize in the business.  Camilla picked up a big win over Shane Sanders, while Wendy and Tara both won huge main event matches, with Wendy avenging her first loss, while Tara kept her dominance over Crystal Hilton going.  Four of these women will be at Chaos Theory (Chunks the exception), and all four of them are posing to be tough outs.  But at least one of them is going to lose.

Well, I think that worked rather damn well, now didn’t it?

So it’s weird to think that we’re coming up on a PPV here, one of FFW’s six biggest shows of the year, and a full third of the top 15 isn’t even scheduled to be on the card!  Now, I know my rankings are subjective based on my own personal opinion, but still just feels odd to not see the likes of Camilla Pazzini, Katherine Stryfe, Crystal Hilton, and Isabella Pazzini on the show.

Even weirder is, despite thos subtractions, we’re STILL looking at one of the most compelling and awesome pay-per-view cards yet here in FFW.  

Oh, and also, it’s no longer called Full Frontal.  That’s a plus.

So without further ado... here is Daniel Pollaski and the Power X’s guide to EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT CHAOS THEORY (but was afraid to ask)

BASIC FACTS
Name: Chaos Theory
Arena: Bradley Center- Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Tickets Sold: 18,975 (sold out)
Number of Matches: 14
Number of Title Matches: 4
Titles at Stake: FFW, No Surrender, Televison, Tag Team (vacant)
Number of Wrestlers Competing: 35
Times Alex Adonis is Projected to call someone fat (or similar): 41
Times Alex Adonis is projected to be punched by a certain columnist: 7
Bratwursts Consumed: Dude, it’s in Milwaukee.  No way we’ll be able to count that high.

#41 WHITLEY MERCER vs. DANIELLE MASON
What’s at Stake: Plenty, believe it or not.  If Whitley wins, Danielle loses her job as Cody Kincaid’s personal assistant, and is gone from the FFW forever.  If Danielle wins, Whitley has to leave Dani alone, and live with the fact that the enitre world knows she lost to a personal assisstant.

This is one of the few matches that I think is going to strike a chord with a locker room far more than it will with the fans.  Viewers have only begun to recently know about Danielle Mason, mainly as a bullying victim of her former best friend Whitley.  Behind the scenes, though, Dani is an FFW mainstay through and through, at every show, helping Cody Kincaid out as much as she possibly can, and always with a smile.  The FFW is going to be a darker place without Dani around, but for the life of me, I just cannot see how Mason can possibly win this.  She’s not a wrestler, and Whitley Mercer is fully trained.  It’s sad that Mercer has to resort to beating up a barely trained personal assistant to get her wins, but unfortunately, Dani accepted.  Have faith though, guys.  Maybe the spunky little redhead can pull something out.


#35 MIKA DEMIDOV vs. #44 SARAH PEEK
What’s At Stake: Very lives are at stake here.  Given the participants, if this match goes any more than five minutes, people will likely start throwing themselves off the balcony.

Focus here is on Mika Demidov, who’s showed all the grace and humility of a world champion after winning just her second match (over Charity Deas, nonetheless).  Worst thing is, since she’s facing Sarah “Not Really A Hell’s Kitchen Reject” Peek, she’s probably going to get another one.  Expect a good hour of postmatch tweeting after CT to be dedicated to MIka’s “epic” win.


#25 JO MCFARLANE vs. SABRA NIKOLYEV
What’s At Stake: This is Sabra’s debut match.  Oh, and golly gee, I bet Jo McFarlane would LOVE to finally get a second PPV win.

It’s not often that you see someone enter FFW and go straight into facing someone like Jo McFarlane, but given by the reaction to her arrival, Sabra is hardly your normal FFW debutant.  This Russian is carrying Samantha Star’s very endorsement which sets up an interesting scenario: Star’s newest hand picked darling facing off with one of her former ones.  Not sure if this will be to the level of Isabella vs. Amy here, but I expect a good fight nonetheless.


#31 TABATHA BELMONT vs. #40 ELIZABETH BLACKWELL
What’s At Stake: A lot of pride.  And possibly the exchange of body fluids.

I’m a bit surprised that we’re actually getting a rematch here, given that I thought Tabby took the first match in fairly decisive fashion.  But here we are, and once again the prospect of our wrestling ring turning into a lesbian session making our more perverted fans have wet dreams.  And I mean more perverted and me, cause I’m not exactly seeing the appeal here.  Elizabeth’s grinding schtick got old two months ago, and the fact is she hasn’t shown us that much promise when it comes to, y’know, actual wrestling, I’m not exactly sold this one ending any differently than the first one.


#19 EMMA MCINTYRE vs. #38 ALLISON WRIGHT
What’s At Stake: Another rematch here, this one didn’t end so decively, as Wright was disqualified after her boyfriend/seeing eye dog Tyler Kimble yanked the ref out of the ring.  Emma also would like some revenge after Wright cracked her in the head with her cane.

So at some point over the past couple of weeks, I think we’ve all kind of clued in on the fact that Allison Wright isn’t quite the sweet little blind girl fighting against the odds that we thought she was.  Namely, she seems to be quite able to shorten the odds quite a bit... although not necessarily by any legal actions.  Anyways, this is one that’s been bubbling for the past couple of months, as poor Emma just can’t seem to get away from Wright’s machinations.  You can bet there will be some serious smug smirking going on from the victor of this one.


EVOLUTION CHAMPIONSHIP #1/#2 CONTENDERS MATCH
#13 CASEY ATHERTON vs. #22 EILEEN AMARO
What’s At Stake: Well, the winner definitely gets a shot at the Evolution Championship, but whether it’s first or second crack will largely depend on the outcome of Williams vs. Thunder later on in the night.  

This one goes back to Byte This 3 in Daytona, when Eileen had Casey right where she wanted her, before she got jumped from behind by Alex Adonis, and the two proceeded to beat the holy hell out of Eileen after handcuffing her to the ropes.  Obviously, that alone is gonna be enough to get Amaro fired up for this, but you throw in a shot at the Evolution title to sweeten the deal, and this is going to be one fired up Tsunami.  With luck, Adonis will be more focused on preparing to officiate Starla’s match to try fucking this one up again.


PICK YOUR POISON CASH-IN
#4 TARA THUNDER vs. #21 JENNIFER WILLIAMS
What’s At Stake: It’s the first Pick Your Poison cash in since Jo’s ill fated attempt on Wendy Briese.  Jennifer’s chosen Tara, who’s had the number of her sister in law over the past few months.  Also, she will become the #1 contender to Tara’s title if she wins.  

So on the latest episode of “As the Williams Turn”, Todd kicked his sister in the face, and said she was out at Williams Enterprises (which, for the life of me, I dont have a clue what Williams Enterprises even offers).  Hopefully that won’t affect Jennifer’s newfound friendship with Crystal, or her upcoming Poison cash-in against Tara Thunder.  Now, remember, Tara’s owned Crystal, having just cashed in her third straight win over her.  Both Jennifer and Crystal carry similar “spotmonkey” styles, so this all comes down to one simple question: What does Jennifer Williams have to offer here that Crystal Hilton doesn’t?


TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP #1 CONTENDERSHIP
FATAL FOUR WAY MATCH
#18 MELANIE AVILO vs. #26 CRYSTAL HATE vs. #28 JODIE GRAY vs. #30 LUMINA FERRARI
What’s At Stake:  Christ, weren’t you reading?  The number one contendership to the TV Title!

So, who’s up for a good multi-way, single fall style?  I know these four ladies are, considering that the chance at a FFW title is enough to get anyone’s blood pumping.  Everyone here but Jodie has had a previous shot at an FFW belt, and came up short, so there should be a good modicum of desperation here.  Obviously at the forefront is the rising rivalry between Avilo and Gray, as well as the fact that both of them have wins over Crystal Hate in the past couple of weeks.  But keep your eye out for Lumina Ferrari.  She’s slid along, more or less out of the fray that the other two have created, but after that near-hit against Starla, there’s starting to be a feeling that Lumina’s dormant potential is finally about to blossom.


ULTRAVIOLENCE CHAMPIONSHIP #1 CONTENDERSHIP
TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS MATCH
#20 CARA STONE vs. #23 ALYSSON GARDNER vs. #24 REBBECCA VALENTINE
What’s At Stake: Winner become the next sacrifice.. erm... contender to Camilla Pazzini’s Ultraviolence Title.  Also, this is a second-meeting between Stone and Gardner, who fought at Byte This 3, with Stone winning.  Come to think of it, this is a second meeting between Gardner and Valentine, with Valentine winning.  Poor Aly.

Showstealer alert!  There’s a reason these three are as tightly packed in my rankings as they are, but only one of them is going to come out of this match ready to face Camilla.  Like I mentioned, Gardner has been defeated by both other competitors, but she’s probably holding the most hardcore experience, which definitely gives her a bit of an advantage in this match.  Even Becky Valentine, who’s finally starting to get away from her “Katherine Stryfe, Jr.” image, poses a major threat here.  Once that ladder comes into play, you’d best not look away- this one could be over just like that.


TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
#6 SOPHIE RICHARDS © vs. #17 SUMMER
What’s At Stake: Pretty much the television title.  Oh, and something about Sophie not having lost a match since Payton St. Pierre put a fireball in her face last July.

Ever since she got the belt back at Sin & Sacrifice, Sophie Richards has been damn beyond unstoppable, mowing down challengers left and right.  Summer’s the latest to step up to the plate, and she’s going to have to bat damn near 1.000 if she hopes to shock the world and get Sophie down from her high horse.  Everyone knows my opinion on Richards, and how she’s simply in an division she’s grown too big for.  But she has to lose that belt first, and I just don’t see Kasey Summers being the woman to get the job done.


UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
THE VIOLENT FEMMES (#7 Colleen & #33 Arabella De Rossi) vs. PINK, INC (#16 Desirae Kain & #37 Arianna Millar) vs. NEW YORK CREW (#29 Kimberly Aries vs. #42 Stephanie Sullivan)
What’s At Stake: The Unity Tag Team Titles, which were vacated back at Byte This 3 after Bounce & Pounce member Ignis tested positive for drugs (although to be fair, her biggest crime was leaving her drink uncovered and unattended at a nightclub)

So for the second time in the past year, the vacated tag belts are up for grabs.  Only this time, instead of a tournament, we’re just going to watch three teams throw it down in what should prove to be an epic match.  Obviously, the biggest selling point is that Pink Inc and the Violent Femmes will finally collide- these two teams have been at each other’s throats for the better part of the last four months.  But don’t rule out the New York Crew, who managed to force the collapse of a bonafide FFW Superteam in the form of Drop Dead Dangerous, and are definite dark horses here.  Meanwhile, the now-reinstated former Champions will surely be watching in the wings, waiting to see just who their quest to retrieve the belts will begin with.


NO SURRENDER CHAMPIONSHIP
GUEST REFEREE- ALEX ADONIS
#5 WENDY BRIESE © vs. #12 STARLA MCCLOUD
What’s At Stake: The No Surrender Championship, which Wendy won at Cold Blooded by beating McCloud and Lumina Ferrari.  Before the end of that night, however, Samantha had declared her an unfit champion, and had booked this match in an attempt to make sure the handpicked McCloud walked away with the belt.

It’s really tough to grasp just how backed up against the wall Wendy Briese is here.  Starla made Wendy’s life a living hell over the past couple of months, although Wendy did manage to come up with a slight modicum of revenge at the Breaking Point coming from her hometown, getting Starla into the Banshee and making her tap.  And she’ll likely very well do that in Milwaukee as well.  The only problem is, as long as Starla’s husband is in the striped shirt, Wendy could be completely at his (and by extention, Starla’s) mercy.  Throw in the fact that I ranked Wendy 5th, and Starla 12th, another bad omen.  Every college basketball fan knows about the dreaded 5-12 matchup.  This is gonna be a long week in Wendy’s camp.


FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE
#8 KAITLYNN STRYFE vs. #11 QUEEN MACHINE
What’s At Stake: Just pride.  And the chance to decisively put an end to the most vicious, brutal, personal rivalry in the company.

Let’s be honest.  Sticking Alexander Stryfe in as the referee at Cold Blooded was a bad idea (as most guest referee stipulations tend to be), and it ended up solving nothing, thanks to an errant Kitty knee, and her subsequent decision to take officiating matters into her own hands, and count her pinfall.  This time, unless something screwy goes down (not out of the realm of possibility), we’ll see a definite winner.  And considering how pissed Kitty’s going to be (Jenny herself pwned her ass at Breaking Point two weeks ago, and Wendy upset her on her birthday Saturday Night), I wouldn’t be surprised if the more vicious competitor here is her.


FFW CHAMPIONSHIP
#1 STACEY MACKENZIE © vs. #3 SCARLETT KINCAID
What’s At Stake: The grandest belt in the land!  What more do you need?  Try this: Stacey Mackenzie’s undefeated streak on one hand, and the fact that this is probably Scarlett’s last chance to regain the belt for the forseeable future.

And here we are, the first ever one on one meeting between Scarlett Kincaid and Stacey Mackenzie.  The two darling fan-favorites of FFW.  Simply Better vs. The Face.  Anyway you spin it, this could be the most gripping, edge of your seat title match we’ve seen since Unstoppable 2, and considering what’s gone on since then, that’s saying something.  So here’s the deal: someone’s gotta beat Stacey sooner or later, and if I had to make a list of candidates to do it, Scar would certainly be near the top of it, if not at the top.  And remember, one year ago, she was a little-heralded number one contender facing another supposedly invincible champion in Isabella Pazzini.  Scarlett came out of that with the belt, and there’s no reason to believe she can’t come out of this with the belt either.


Quite the lineup, eh?  

Of course, one woman who (as mentioned before) won’t be competing at Chaos Theory will be Camilla Pazzini.  However, you can bet that she’ll be paying considerable attention, considering that one of the most promising matches will determine her next challenger.  And, well, like most of our Femme Fatales, Camilla’s a fan.  So here, for her take on the goings on of FFW, and her edition of the awards... CAMILLA PAZZINI!

Take her away, Chunks!

=====================================
Match of the Week
Starla McCloud vs. Lumina Ferrari
Oh hells yeah. The good doctor put on a damn clinic here, and showed us all how to REALLY put down the Club CK reject... (hell, most of Club CK are second rate, ‘cause they’re not MEEEE) much better than Wendy’s fluke win at the last PPV. Truth is, Starla deserves a lot of credit, because she hasn’t lost properly in a while, and this match was a great example of the freakin’ SCHOOLING she’s gonna give the White Shite at Chaos Theory. Word up... BITCHEZZ. Oh, and Adonis, if you fancy an affair on your two wives, or even a share deal... CALL ME!


Winner of the Week
Camilla Pazzini
Yeah, I know, I only beat TOTAL LOSER Shane Sanders. But my umpteenth successful title defense had some significance. I mean, it proves, following my gargantuan title reign, that I am simply the best hardcore wrestler in the history of this industry. I’m unstoppable. Unbeatable. And I make Evolution Champions my BITCHEZZZ! I am the true winner of the week, because no-one can stand against me. Hell, the only reason Stay Mack is 15 & 0 is because she’s too chickenshit to get in the ring with me. I’d say the same goes for the other big streaker, Kelly McGuffin, but... well... LOLZ she isn’t fit to lace my boots! Or drinks! Or Jenga tiles! She sucks at Jenga.


Loser of the Week
Crystal Hilton
AGAIN? She lost to Tara... AGAIN?! Jesus Christ! This is like a worse run of form against an opponent than my sister has battling alcoholism!!! I mean... YEAH, one could argue that Hilton has beaten two former FFW Champions. But she’s lost THREE times to Thunder, and I already proved with my promo last week that the Evolution Title and all its holders SUCK! So yeah... Crystal is like bargain basement talent now. I vote her next match is against Charity Deas. Give the poor girl a chance to win, for God’s sake!


Douchebag of the Week
Wendy Briese
WTF. The way Wendy viciously attacked Starla McCloud after her match and brutalised her with the Banshee was frankly disgusting. Briese should be ashamed of herself. It just goes to show kids, don’t support those who claim moral superiority, because it’s only a matter of time before their true colours come out, and everyone sees that they’re a totally insane, dangerous, crazy motherfucking BIATCH 5000!!! But no matter. Starla will get some tasty revenge at Chaos Theory.
======================

Well, I suppose I wanted controversial and entertaining.  Obviously she went more for controversial than entertaining, but well done regardless.  And we all learned something about Kelly McGuffin’s Jenga skills.   And that Camilla sure knows how to kick 'em when they're down (unless they're Starla McCloud of course, then it's a travesty)

Of course, since I believe in acknowledging those who actually deserve it, here’s some runner-ups:

Match: Mel Avilo vs. Crystal Hate; Team Adonis vs. Team Sensation
Winner: Wendy Briese, Tara Thunder
Loser: Elizabeth Blackwell, Shane Sanders
Douchebag: Whitley Mercer, Mika Demidov


And that will do it for yet another edition of the Power X column!  Thanks again for tuning in, and we’ll see you after Chaos Theory for the wrapup column!

Until then... POLLA OUT!
Daniel Pollaski is an independent wrestling columnist, SVW wrestler, and the manager of FFW star Wendy Briese.  He’d also like to remind everyone that Alexander Stryfe is a worthless, moneygrubbing jizzstain who deserves to be pwned by Bryan Deas on an hourly basis.