The Power X Countdown with Leander Apollo!

Hey kids!

Huge special treat for you guys today. Save for the occasional awards I allow various members of the FFW roster to give out, I don't have too many guests here at the Power X. Well, today that's going to change. Leander Apollo, a good friend of SVW's Chris Strike, and FFW's Eileen Amaro and Jo McFarlane, started listening to the FFW entrance songs and decided he was going to make a countdown column of it. I offered to put it up here, both for his convenience, and the fact that this is something I've been wanting to see done for a while, and it's awesome that Leo actually took the time and initiative to do it.

So that's it from me for today, kids. And it's with great pleasure that I now turn this baby over to Leander Apollo, as he gives us his take on EVERY entrance theme in FFW!

Dear god... I hope he brought extra durable headphones for this. Anyways, enjoy!

The Red Comet Presents…
Femme Fatale Wrestling’s One Shot Theme Song Rankings

Alright folks, to make a long story short, job hunting in the business can get stale from time to time…

So to make the slow day of filling applications and waiting for answers on said apps go by a little bit faster, I started up iTunes and sorted through some of my playlists. It just so happened that I do have one specifically with the themes of all the femme fatales and just about anyone else in the roster that does have one. Unfortunately, some entries will not quite make this list as they’re either managers, authority figures, injured (sorry Val), released (Angelic S&D, Belladonna, Kelly Allen) or just am really, really apathetic towards (Simply Flawless…at handing people victories) and the like – but for all their sakes, I’ll throw some honorable mentions and none of those are in specific order of best to worst or anything like it.

Oh, right, I think I should take the time to tell you that all of the content in these rankings are solely that of Leander Apollo’s musical tastes (which are, by no means, for everyone) and not of the Power X blog, Daniel Pollaski or Wendy Briese. So don’t go screaming at any of them if you got an issue with this…

No, seriously, because if you do, I will find you and very likely suplex the living daylights out of you. I’m dead serious.

So here we go, honorable mentions:

“Of Wolf and Man” by Metallica – Wolf Ramsey
Sure, the song itself might not be the big man dressed to kill’s main choice, but this song pumps you up like no other. I mean, Columbus popped big time for it and even more so for Wolf when he stepped out on Velocity to confront his now ex-client Colleen.

“Empire State of Mind” by Jay-Z (feat. Alicia Keys) – Cody Kincaid
The vice-president of FFW may not exactly be one for making too many in-ring appearances unless it’s alongside his wife Scarlett (at least I don’t think I recall him doing any since I started watching FFW a few months ago). However, I commend the youngster in his choice here. Jay-Z kills in this entire track and Alicia Keys makes the chorus a freaking POWERFUL one.

“Faster” by Within Temptation – Valerie Belmont
I love the hell out of this song – it pumps me up whenever it starts playing, Val is a household name due to all the things she’s managed to accomplish on a relatively short career by wrestling standards (if we go by that nifty rule of “wrestlers hit their prime at their 30s”) and yeah, I couldn’t omit this.

“Candyman” by Christina Aguilera – Daniel Pollaski
Didn’t think you’d see this one, did ya? The big mind behind the Power X columns bringing the pain to SVW these days and he does so with a rather unique but seemingly fun song to make his entrance with.

“Toxic” by Britney Spears – Samantha Star
While I would have expected something a little more authoritative-like from the FFW owner, this is still a decent enough Britney tune – can’t help but to think the lyrics enhance the amount of scary this woman can be if the wrong buttons are pushed. Glad she’s not my boss. No offense.

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Those bits out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff, shall we? This is going from worst to absolute best on the Red Comet’s list of FFW themes.

55. “Next Go Round” by Nickelback – Kelly McGuffin
Fuck Nickelback and their shitty ass music. Canada has good exports…these fuckers aren’t one of them!

54. “La La Land” by Demi Lovato – Allison Deas
Absolutely nothing wrong with Demi Lovato – I like some of her tunes. But let’s face it, it’s a song about being plainer than hell and while it may fit for a Deas, it just isn’t good enough to leave the bottom tier.

53. “Call the Shots” by Girls Aloud – Mindy Smyth
Is it bad when your eyes tempt you to fall asleep before the first minute of the song hits? Yeah, thought so too. Next!

52. “So What” by Pink – Faith
…so what indeed.

51. “Doncha” by the Pussycat Dolls – Stephanie Sullivan
While she hasn’t even debuted yet, her song choice is up on her bio on FFW. Can anyone else say overplayed? Or boring? Maybe both?

50. “Supergirl” by Hilary Duff – Robbyn Helmsley
Nothing personal against Supes here, as the song itself is fitting to her name. But it’s Hilary Duff…

49. “Diva” by Beyoncé – Lilah Carter
Lawyers aren’t divas, Lilah. Ever. I almost feel sorry for the FFW front office having to pay Beyoncé the rights to use this song on someone whose only claim to fame is getting her ass kicked by Lucas Peek. Harsh? Bite me.

48. “Break It Down Again” by Tears for Fears – Lumina Ferrari
It has as much personality as her and Johnny Moxie combined. Yes, that was sarcasm.

47. “Heavensent” by Hinder – Heavensent & Hellbound (Rori Snyder & Maddison Knight)
You know, this song would work for them…if they were decent enough human beings. But lo and behold. Now excuse me while I go bash my head against the desk here for a few minutes.

46. “Alice (Underground)” by Avril Lavigne – Payton St. Pierre
One thing is true, Payton. You did fall down. Off a ladder. And then you ate concrete. NEXT!

45. “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne – Alyson Summers
This explains so much about our Future Shock Season 3 winner. Really, it does. It’s like her entire personality is compressed in three minutes and twenty-four seconds...I want those 3:24 of my life back.

44. “What the Hell” by Avril Lavigne – Hayley Dark
YEAH! WHAT THE HELL? WHAT THE HELL IS IT WITH PEOPLE IN THIS ROSTER AND AVRIL LAVIGNE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

43. “One of Those Girls” by Avril Lavigne – Sophie Richards
……………….oh for fuck’s sakes, we’re moving on! NOW!

42. “Glamorous” by Fergie – Sarah Richardson
Another new face in FFW, another run-of-the-mill song. Y U NO USE REMIX WITH LUDACRIS?!?!?!

41. “Like Me” by Girlicious – Crystal Hilton
Pssh…this is bad, but it’s not Avril Lavigne levels of bad. Still for someone who claims to be perfect, you’d think her “perfect” sense of hearing or “perfect” taste good music would have allowed her to pick a better song.

40. “All The Things She Said” by t.A.t.U – Tracy Loveheart
Russian lesbians that aren’t really lesbians singing about whatever it is they sing about is so 2002.

39. “That’s Not My Name” by The Ting Tings – Charlie Gage
So they call you girl, they call you Stacey, they call you “her,” they call you Jane…that’s not your name? WELL, SO WHAT THE HELL IS IT? WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!?!?!?!

38. “Fall Behind Me” by The Donnas – Stacey Mackenzie
…well, I guess that proves she is the “Dream Killer,” after all. Because she killed my dreams of ever thinking she could do better for a theme song than a mediocre all-girl band.

37. “Mannequin” by Britney Spears – Hanna Elliott
Well, it expresses the once Future Shock rookie’s attitude pretty well. Unfortunately, this is 2008 Britney and not 1999 Britney. Vast difference, bringing the song down to here. She’s still hot though. Hanna, I mean.

36. “Back to the Future Theme” by John Williams – Charity Deas
Take note of this, people. This will be the highest a Deas ever will be ranked at ANYTHING.

35. “Written in the Stars” by Timie Tempah – Crystal Hate
Good song, but it got overplayed to hell over the spring…and of course, like an idiot; I listened till I got sick of it.

34. “Out of my Way” by Seether – Destiny Loveheart
Same said for the Loveheart in terms of “highest ranking.” Blame Seether for that one, folks.

33. “Commander” by Kelly Rowland (ft. David Guetta) – Jo McFarlane
Jo’s a good friend of mine and everything but just…if your song is eventually gonna go to dancing, you might as well just do us all a favor, change into Electric Six’s “Dance Commander” and be done with it.

32. “Come on Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight Runners – Eileen Amaro
Another soon-to-be debuting wrestler, another friend (and in this case, my ex-girlfriend to boot), the theme itself works for her due to the name and all, chorus is catchy but come on…you can do better E. Way better.

31. “Junk” by Eyedea and Abilities – Kassandra
Odd choice of a theme with its catchy parts, but then again, the Danger Queens are…well, an odd bunch. Beyond that, I still find a rather forgettable theme sans for a few parts.

30. “Citizen/Soldier” by 3 Doors Down – Deven Knight
I understand the meaning of the song and the fact Ms. Knight is proud of her commitment to our men and women in the military – thank you for your service, at that. But I’m just not a 3 Doors Down fan to rank it anywhere near above 30. Sorry.

29. “Beautiful Dangerous” by Slash (ft. Fergie) – Sophia Black
The good news: this song has some Slash shredding in it. The bad news: Fergie’s in it.

28. “Just a Girl” by No Doubt – Whitley Mercer
I mean, No Doubt is amazing, don’t get me wrong and I know Whit is probably trying to emphasize some sort of humbleness here – but the girl is talented. She isn’t “just a girl.” So, point is that it doesn’t…fit.

27. “Sunshine Highway” by Dropkick Murphys – Wendy Briese
The beginning is well-recognizable and we definitely know it’s Wendy coming out. But after “ALRIGHT,” I just lose interest…just like with every other Dropkick Murphys song.

26. “I Get Off” by Halestorm – Jen Saint
Honestly, not even Halestorm’s best song. However, Stephen Saint’s wife should cause enough of a stir around once she arrives in the FFW scene with her repertoire of moves and all…or something like that.

25. “Miss Murder” by AFI – Tiffany Spencer
Tiffany’s nickname could definitely be renamed into the song title here given all the things she did (and probably wanted to do) to Victoria whatever her name is a while back. But as someone that liked AFI’s earlier work compared to now…well, at least it’s a top 30 song, right?

24. “The Crow and the Butterfly (Pull Mix)” by Shinedown – The Eternal Flame
Good song, but a bit TOO slow for my personal tastes for the Unity Tag Team champs – especially when given the name and their individual themes. So, Y U NO USE ORIGINAL VERSION AT LEAST?!?!?!

23. “Instigator” by Kaci Brown – Maddison Knight
One thing is right about Maddi. She’s an instigator. And an absolute slut. Except her and Val aren’t friends. But besides that, this fits her like a glove. So no Maddi, I don’t have to acquit.

22. “Into the Sun” by The Parlor Mob – Scarlett Kincaid
A part of me admits to openly screaming “damnit” the moment I didn’t hear Scarlett come out to Hole’s “Gold Dust Woman” (it grew on me with the more I watched her bouts, damnit). Although this is not a bad replacement, just a slightly slower one for the former FFW World champ.

21. “Woman on a Mission” by Gabriella Cimmi – Isabella Pazzini
Speaking of themes that I will miss, add Izzy’s old “Explosive” by Bond theme to the list. However, the lyrics signify the new change in the horizon for Isabella and what she’s coming after. I’d be on the lookout for her, people.

20. “In For the Kill” by La Roux – Pwn3d
My favorite tag team name in professional wrestling today. Solid theme, but in my opinion, not as good as we’ve got above of it.

19. “Run This Town Tonight” by Jay-Z (ft. Rihanna and Kanye West) – Rebecca Valentine
The collaboration between Jay-Z, Rihanna and West is a gem and while I think it may be a slightly odd for Rebecca – given Katherine’s theme – but I dig it. But I do feel we’ve got better ones on this list to go, so we’re moving on…

18. “Diamonds and Guns” by The Transplants – Danger Queens
While their individual themes leave something to be desired, the Danger Queens’ team theme is a rather catchy tune I could see myself humming along as they come out from the curtains.

17. “Cherry Lips (Go Baby Go)” by Garbage – Casey Atherton
The wisest thing that Casey has ever chosen in her entire, short career – yes, which includes her choices in trainers and her choices in men. Pssh, Alex Adonis…are you freaking serious? He looks, acts and talks like Biff Tanner from Back to the Future……………if Biff ever suffered a stroke.

16. “Break Stuff” by Limp Bizkit – Camilla Pazzini
Extremely fitting song, enough to pump someone up for kicking ass…but in the end, it is still a song done by Limp Bizkit. Sorry Camilla, but it’s not cracking the top 10.

15. “All My Life” by Foo Fighters – Raven Wicked
Out of all the song choices for the Future Shock Season 1 winner, this was one I did not see coming. Granted, it’s probably one of the harder songs that the Foo Fighters have done and a good one at that, but still…so out of left field.

14. “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC – Tara Thunder
Another one of those tunes that is fitting for the name, the personality and quite frankly, it’s AC/DC – so from beginning to end, you are guaranteed something good.

13. “Breed” by Otep – Kadence Wesson
For a cover of the famous Nirvana song, Otep did it justice and the fact that a girl with Kadence’s attitude is using it shows she’s one of those girls with what I call good taste in music. Notice how I made the distinction between myself and others in that last sentence.

12. “A Demon’s Fate” by Within Temptation – Kara Harrington
Good build-up, great hook and chorus and then there’s my personal enjoyment out of this, as I do like Within Temptation’s stuff. Overall, this is a pretty fitting theme for the former EWC Undisputed Hardcore champion.

11. “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC – Gretchen Sanders
Out of the two people who use AC/DC songs, miss Gretchen Sanders (congratulations on the marriage, once again) is the one with the better of the two. Though if you ask me Gretch, as you kinda thought about it a while back, “This is Gonna Hurt” by Sixx A.M. would be a fitting replacement to it.

10. “Burn Burn” by lostprophets – Ignis
And out of the Club CK ranks, it is Ignis that stands on top of the theme song food chain – and it’s a good one too, as it is the lostprophets. It would probably be even higher on the list if she bitch slapped Christian Kincaid in the face – the beginning lyrics would make more sense, at least. I’m just saying.

9. “Lucifer’s Angel” by The Rasmus – Emma McIntyre
You know, I surprisingly haven’t been as big of a fan of The Rasmus as one would expect when given my musical tastes, but this song kicks a good chunk of ass. And yes, it does do justice to FFW’s own “Hit Girl.”

8. “Passive Little Phoenix” by Tarja Turumen (ft. A Perfect Circle) – Katherine Stryfe
Interesting remix of both songs and it WORKS! If one thing is clear is that one half of the Unity tag team champs has some damn good taste in music. But even so, this theme doesn’t stack up to the next seven…

7. “Bad Things” by Jace Everett – Starla McCloud
The good doctor’s theme may be the same as the one from True Blood, but I am certainly not complaining. It is another one that stands out from the crowd with its instrumentals, lyrics and well…Starla McCloud DOES want to do bad things to people. What else can I say?

6. “Heads Will Roll” by Marion Raven – Rori Snyder
It hurts to admit this. It does. But Rori Snyder, for once in her life, picked a winner with this theme, placing herself on top of the FFW theme food chain. It reflects her new bitchiness, attitude and etc. Too bad she is still a shitty wrestler who is gonna get made into a living piñata by Scarlett Kincaid.

5. “Battle Ready” by Otep – Arabella de Rossi
Mr. Carson Black was kind enough to pass this one along to me when he heard I was making this blog and well, fuck it, I’m going to count it. So chalk this one down to some more history for the current season Future Shock rookie, because this theme…well, it fits like a glove and it deserves a top five spot. If I were Hanna, I’d be wary of this woman come Velocity on September 1st.

4. “Walk” by Pantera – Rose Jenkins
It’s Pantera, it’s “RE. SPECT. WALK. WHAT DO YOU SAY?” and it’s ROSE JENKINS walking out to this. Really, there are themes that can put the fear of deities into people when one strolls out to them. This is one of those themes.

3. “You Make Me Sick” by Egypt Central – Kaitlynn Stryfe
Deciding between the top three spots was a pain in my ass. Really. I kept going back and forth on it for the last thirty-six hours or so, but I had to make my decisions. Anyways, the current FFW World champ’s theme is pretty damn fucking cool. The lyrics, the music, the intensity matching up, it deserves to be one of the top three.

2. “Cracks (Flux Pavilion Remix)” by The Freestylers – Colleen
Probably the most stand-out theme in all of FFW – yes, it’s techno and techno has been used in pro wrestling before abundantly, but there is a lack of it in FFW thus making it unique - the current Evolution champion takes one of the top three spots with it. Easy to recognize, has intensity to it, it works.

AND FINALLY! THE CRÈME DE LA CRÈME, THE THEME OF ALL THEMES IN FFW TODAY:

1. “King of the World” by Porcelain and the Tramps – Shane Sanders
From the build-up in the first few verses to the catchy as hell chorus, the intensity, the swagger that this woman has while walking out to it, the LONGETIVITY even (she’s been using it for the last five years), Shane Sanders may not stand above the roster in terms of who is the current “queen of the mountain” (that honor goes to #3 on this list), but in terms of FFW theme songs…Shane, take a bow. Victory is yours!


So that’s that for this list. I hope you all at least thought it amusing to browse through it and once again, I cannot thank Daniel Pollaski enough for letting this bit of a guest column in the Power X.

Keep it rockin’, FFW.

- Leander Apollo

Leander Apollo is a music enthusiast and a professional wrestler, although he's with neither FFW nor SVW. FFW's kinda obvious, cause he doesn't seem like he has a vagina. But SVW? Come on dude! It's a blast over there! Anyways, you should seriously follow him on twitter: @LeoTheRedComet. You won't regret it. And a really big thanks for the contribution. This was awesome, dude.

(OOC: Dude, Chris, I don't know how long this freakin' took you to do, going through sixty entrance songs, but you did a hell of a job!)