Once again, its time for wrestling manager and analyst Daniel Pollaski to go over the news, reviews, and previews of Femme Fatale Wrestling! All content is the sole opinion of the author and does not reflect the views of Femme Fatale Wrestling, its wrestlers, or administration. Or Wendy Briese, for that matter, so don’t go jumping her in the hallway if you get butthurt about this. Bitch.
The Power X’s inspirational thought of the week.
We're in the city of passion fruit
As red and sour is our everynight
Two hearts in one on a passion beat
An wink or two, then you fall in love
Sweetest melodies carry on till the end of the night
Through the doors where secrets hiding in the shadows all out of sight
Shining like a cat's eye
Magic play is dancing
Quickly casts a greenish reflection
Your eyes are like a cat's eye
Magic play is dancing
Bathing in the light of the moon
We get you... mysterious girl
We know we're running out of passion time
The bell will toll for us every night
All dressed in blue, you're a sexy girl
A kiss or two, then you fade away
Sweetest melodies played on an old piano
Mirrors break, hearts will too, memories in pieces blown before the dawn
Haunted by a cat's eye
Magic play is dancing
Quickly casts a greenish reflection
Love without the cat's eye
Magic play is dancing
Bathing in the light of the moon
We get you... mysterious girl
- “Cat’s Eye (Ventura Mix)” E-Rotic
Hey kids!
So, the biggest pay per view of the year has come and gone, and we now we officially enter the second season of FFW with a new television deal, a new captain at the helm, and a new Champion carrying our banner. That’s right- Breaking Point has moved to ESPN, where it will come to us LIVE every Saturday Night (great news in a few weeks to you college football fans, cause you won’t have to change the channel after watching your favorite SEC team beat the shit out of Auburn). In addition, both Velocity and Breaking Point have been expanded to a whopping THREE HOURS. That’s a lotta wrestling, but when you consider that we’re looking at a roster of nearly fifty women, well, you gotta get everyone in, right?
And of course, we can’t avoid the fact that the Director of Talent Operations, one Cody Kincaid, has taken a couple months leave of absence, to spend some time away from the business. While it’s understandable, considering how hard the guy works, that does leave Samantha Star in charge of the company, a twist that I’m certain more than a few wrestlers here are less than happy about. After all, Samantha tends to treat things like her own personal playground, and I don’t think everyone on the FFW roster is all that willing to be her toys.
And finally, we can all congratulate our newest Champion, the lovely and deadly Kaitlynn Stryfe, who survived the Elimination Chamber over five women to become the fifth FFW champion in company history. It’s this woman that the inspirational thought is dedicated to this week, as Kitty is certainly the eye of the company at the moment. So a big congrats to the new queen, and may she have a successful reign. At least until someone better takes it from her.
Oh, anyone notice the new design around here? A big props to Toiletduck Graphics, who hit me up with the awesome logo, and gave me a color scheme that doesn’t have me looking like a member of Greenpeace.
Anyways, a lot of stuff to cover, given that we’re coming off such a massive show. The usual stock today, kicking off with the rankings, then going on to Future Shock Therapy (and we’re going to need therapy after the load of absolute bullshit we all saw last night). Then of course a look ahead to the coming shows, and finally, awards done by... well, most of you know by now, and are still reading. For the rest of you, we’ll keep it a surprise, because the last thing I need is for you all to click the back/close/porn bookmark button now. We’re just getting started!
THE POWER X RANKINGS!
Ladies and gentlmen, we are looking at the LARGEST SET OF RANKINGS EVER FOR FFW! While we had two dropouts this week, we also had four newcomers/returners, which raises our list to a whopping FORTY WRESTLERS. Unfortunately, there are a couple of ladies that we must say goodbye to, last ranking in brackets.
Nina Battleheart Astral [38]- We all knew this one was coming, considering that Nina uncermemoniously quit before the last Breaking Point. But nevertheless, she now officially finds herself getting kicked off, for good. And good riddance
Gretchen Donimari [26]- I’m much more bummed about this, but with her injury, Gretchen hasn’t been able to get back into the ring, and her eligibility unfortunately expired this time around. We wish Gretch a speedy and full recovery, so she can get back into the action soon.
Anyways given that we are coming out of a pay-per-view, which saw thirty-four of those forty wrestlers competing, It’s safe to say that we’ve got a hell of a lot of movement going on too. Where does your favorite wrestler end up?
Well, start reading, bitches!
COUNT EM DOWN!
#40- DESTINY LOVEHEART [-3]
Alas, poor Destiny found herself being left off of the Unstoppable card, which actually should be good news for her, as she couldn’t lose (although if anyone out there could find a way to lose a match without being booked, its Destiny Loveheart). Still, with NBA’s departure, that leaves Destiny the clear-cut bottom feeder in Femme Fatale Wrestling.
#39- CHARITY DEAS [-4]
Charity Deas never looked better as she arced backwards, screaming and pinwheeling all the while, after being ripped from the briefcase in the pick your poison ladder match. Oh, and smashing through a table at terminal velocity. What a shame. What a horrible, horrible, shame.
#38- SYD ASHLEY [-2]
The ‘other’ member of Simply Flawless enjoyed the night off, although we’re certain it was rough for her to be watching her other (and better) half get tossed off a ladder during the PYP ladder match. Unfortunately, Syd looks to be off this cycle again.
#37- TRACI LOVEHEART [-3]
Well, Traci can thank the gods that she’s able to walk after the epic beatdown by Emma McIntyre she received, which of course, is more than you can say about her *former* tag team partner. Still, it just further cements Traci’s status as one of the worst wrestlers in the company (but the best Loveheart. Go figure). How much longer until Traci’s officially put on the sidelines just like Victoria?
#36- MICHELLE TAYLOR [-5]
Well, the way things look, the next time I type this column will be Michelle Taylor’s final ranking. Because she’s either going to be: 1. Dead at my hand. 2. Fired by Rose Jenkins’ hands. 3. Dead and fired by Rose Jenkins’ hands. 4. Dead by my hand, and fired anyways because Samantha’s that vindictive. Either way, buh-bye, dumbass!
#35- FAITH [-2]
Talk about your bad break for Faith. A careful observer would note that poor Faith actually got left off the Pick Your Poison prematch graphic. Unfortunately, she didn’t get left out of the carnage of the PYP match, taking several bumps, including being thrown off a ladder by Mindy Smyth. Rumor has it that Faith is contemplating retirement after such a brutal contest. If that is so, we here at the Power X wish her the best.
#34- SOPHIA BLACK [NEW]
So after a long hiatus, Sophia Black promptly returned to the ring- and got her ass handed to her by Alyson Summers. Which avenges Christian Kincaids untimely death at her hands (we could only hope). Up next for Sophia? More emotweeting!
#33- LUMINA FERRARI [-3]
Losing when you’re on the advantageous side in a handicapped match is hardly a good thing, so it’s understandable that you could probably call her Gloomina at this moment. Still, rumor has it that Moxie’s gone, which should actually benefit Lumina in the long run. Yeah, she won’t benefit from his training, but at the same time, Moxie’s incendiary comments won’t make the small girl such a huge target. Still, considering she’s gotten Samantha Star’s personal assistant as her next opponent, is she truly out of the crosshairs yet?
#32- MINDY SMYTH [No Change]
Mindy came close several times to winning Pick Your Poison, but couldn’t pull the trigger (or the belt off the wire) thanks largely to a couple well-timed tricks from Casey Atherton. Back to the drawing board for Mindy, but she better sketch something up quick. Tara THunder is a-comin, and she’s not gonna play nice either!
#31- KASSANDRA [-9]
Color me bummed about the Danger Queens losing at Unstoppable, in what was certainly one of the more disappointing performances of the night. So it’s back to square one for the DQ’s, as they struggle to figure out where exactly to go from here. Kassandra, at least, can start when she goes toe to toe with Lilah Carter at breaking Point.
#30- CHARLOTTE GAGE [-14]
Like Kassandra, it’s reassessment time for Charlie, althought unlike Kassie, Charlie doesn’t have the luxury of getting a rebound match yet. And the -14 shouldn’t be taken as a slam on these girls- that’s seriously how bunched up the FFW talent pool is at the moment.
#29- CRYSTAL HATE [No Change]
Crystal was one of the bigger surprises at Conviction, as she represented herself well in the PYP, including an epic taking out of Hayley Dark. But unfortunately, a well timed move involving Alex Adonis and handcuffs left Crystal trapped as the match reached its conclusion, and Hate could do aught but watch as someone else retreived the briefcase.
#28- IGNIS [-4]
Talk about frustration for Ignis... the girl was pretty vocal about her disappointment in being left off of Unstoppable. But she’s not appearing in either of the next two shows either! Someone throw the Firebird a freakin’ bone!
#27- CASEY ATHERTON [NEW]
Casey did everything she possibly could in her power to steal the Pick Your Poison match at Unstoppable, but a well-timed powerbomb from Whitley Mercer cut her ambitions short. Now, I know Casey ain’t out to make friends here, but her enemies certainly seem to be piling up. How long until that comes back to haunt her?
#26- WHITLEY MERCER [-3]
Whitley put in a hell of an effort in the PYP, but ultimately came up short, although she was the only one really going at the end. Everyone is saying the time is coming to turn the corner- and I’d normally be inclined to agree, but against Wendy? Not gonna happen.
#25- REBBECCA VALENTINE [No Change]
FFW UNITY TAG CHAMPION
Well, you have to hand it to the Eternal Flame- they managed to come through when it counted the most. Still, Rebbecca finds herself sorely lacking as a singles competitor, and with her taking the next cycle off, it’s obvious she won’t be esablishing herself anytime soon.
#24- SHANE SANDERS [-5]
Well, I was wrong about Shane. I thought that if she lost to Rori in a falls count anywhere match, she’d have no excuse. Of course, that was before Madison Knight tried to run her down with a car, and the most incompetent official on the planet pulled yet another Alvin Shepherd. So yeah, Shane can certainly be excused for the loss- but she wanted to put Rori in her place, not excuses, and that’s going to hurt.
#23- HAYLEY DARK [-5]
If Unstoppable saw a Pick Your Poison Single-Fall match, or a Pick Your Poison Battle Royale, then Hayley would be in a fairly epic position. Unfortunately, it was a ladder match, and Hayley got caught up in the frenzy. A couple weeks off to nurse her injuries, and she’ll be right back in action!
#22- JO MCFARLANE [+5]
It wasn’t the prettiest win, but Jo McFarlane pulled off a damn near miracle in the Pick Your Poison match, outclimbing (and leaping) seven other women to get the coveted win. Now here comes the fun part- will Jo actually muster up the nerve to call someone out, given that she’s been seemingly reluctant to call someone out to that point?
#21- ALYSON SUMMERS [No Change]
It’s not a bad thing when you can turn a revenge play into what seems like just another day at the office, but Aly managed to do that when she got the better of Sophia Black at Unstoppable. And now that Christian Kincaid enemy #1 has been neutralized, what is there for Aly to do? Well, other than reap the obvious ‘rewards’, of course.
#20- AMY [-3]
Cue the “Final Ranking” tag, and bid a not-so-fond farewell to Amy, who was subsequently fired after being the first eliminated from the Elimination Chamber. Unfortunately, this isn’t the end of her career, as she is reported to be going elsewhere. But, at least as far as FFW is concerned, the Killer Blonde is no more
#19- EMMA MCINTYRE [NEW]
Emma makes her return to FFW in grand fashion, beating the living holy hell out of Traci Loveheart in her first match back. Obviously, since Emma’s a former champion, she’s going to be a huge threat- but how far does she need to work her way back before she’s considered a contender again?
#18- UNDINE [-3]
Could we be seeing the last of the Aquablonde for a while? It’d be a shame, considering that she’s probably the only member of Club CK who’s even remotely sane (which isn’t really saying much). But with her out at Unstoppable, and the forseeable future, all signs point to hiatus.
#17- PAYTON ST. PIERRE [-3]
FFW TELEVISION CHAMPION
You gotta love Pay, the only FFW titleholder so little regarded she’s actually missed BOTH of the Pay-Per-Views she’s been around for. Not that I’m complaining of course- I’m a firm believer that the less we see of our current television champion, the better off we all are.
#16- SAMANTHA STAR [-3]
As much as it pains me to drop our glorious leader in the rankings, the ebb and flow of the results from Conviction demanded it. Given that I’m sure Ms. Star made an absolute killing on the PPV buys, I don’t think she’s ultimately going to mind.
#15- SOPHIE RICHARDS [-3]
Sophie’s another girl who its not entirely clear where she’ll go from here. Obviously, a decisive match against Payton would be optimal, but here’s thinking that St. Pierre probably would duck such an encounter. Other than that, really, where else does Sophie go?
#14- RORI SNYDER [+6]
Yep, I’m sure there’s going to be outrage over this, but the facts are the facts. And the facts are that Rori, by hook or by crook, hasn’t lost a match since the Velocity before Conviction. And while I certainly couldn’t give her credit for that win over Colleen, her victory over Shane was completely in the rules, as screwed up as it was. Not to mention, but let’s face it- she’s one of the hottest topics of conversation around the company. Oh yeah, *and* she was revealed to be the one who attacked Cody Kincaid. This girl’s been busy!
#13- CAMILLA PAZZINI [-9]
The Queen is dead? One could certainly make an argument as such, considering that the supposed Queen of Ultraviolence wrestling, in her very first match, just got shown up by a greenhorn rookie. A greenhorn rookie who hadn’t even competed in two months. And while we at the Power X are certainly aware of the possibilities of flukes, the fact of the matter is that Chunks right now is much more image than she is substance.
#12- CRYSTAL HILTON [-3]
It’s tough to think that Crystal’s taken two losses in a row now. But she really hasn’t taken a step back- she’s just come out on the wrong side of a couple matches against tough competition. Luckily, this ‘streak’ should be breaking, as Crystal next faces the much overhyped Belladonna. Of course, if she *does* end up losing to the demon puppy, then it’ll be time to start worrying.
#11- RAVEN WICKED [Returning- Last ranked 17th on June 18]
FFW ULTRAVIOLENCE CHAMPION
Well, you’ve gotta give Raven some serious credit here- she came into Unstoppable a heavy underdog, but managed to come through and beat Camilla Pazzini in the prison of punishment. Considering how thin the Ultraviolence division actually is, there seems to be two roads Raven is going to take: 1. A rematch against Camilla (most likely); 2. A defense against Kara Harrington (not quite as likely).
#10- TARA THUNDER [+18]
I had a feeling I had Tara a bit on the underranked side, and I was proven to be right on that account at Unstoppable, when Tara overcame a very persistant Crystal Hilton, and earned herself the number one contendership for the Evolution Championship. Unfortunately, before that epic showdown can happen, Tara has to deal with the Principal. Trust me on this- this is an upset Tara is definitely not going to let happen.
#9- ROSE JENKINS [+2]
Unlike her much maligned cousin Leroy, Rose Jenkins seems more than capable of charging into impossible situations and getting the job done. She did so at Unstoppable, skillfully using Johnny Moxie’s cheating ways against him, to overcome a two on one handicap and pick up the huge win. Next up for Rose should be a relative breather- a chance to kick the ever-annoying Michelle Taylor out of the FFW. Provided I don’t legitimately kill Taylor Aggression, of course.
#8- ROBBYN HELMSLEY [-1]
If Robbyn ever hopes to make it to the next level, she seriously needs to develop a tolerance for pain in submission holds. I mean, yeah, they hurt, and they’d make a normal girl cry and tap in about two seconds, but this is SUPERGIRL we’re talking about here. She’s supposed to be tougher than that. And besides, if she had held on, and not been such a bitch about it, Wendy would be Evolution Champion right now. So there.
#7- WENDY BRIESE [+1]
Robbyn’s ‘amazing’ 15-second ‘holdout’ proves to be the difference between the two this week, and the girls switch places. While the question of where Wendy goes from here remains to be answered, her immediate future is certainly known- an upstart Whitley Mercer coming at her in the carpe diem match. Don’t worry kids, Wendy’s got her head in the game, and won’t be stumbling here.
#6- VALERIE BELMONT [No Change]
Color me one fairly disappointed panda. Val’s second coming in FFW ended with a thud, or a crack if you want to take her knee into consideration. Anyways, looks like Val’s gonna be gone, and this time it ain’t no two month hiatus. This will be her final ranking.
#5- KATHERINE STRYFE [+5]
FFW UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION
Well, you gotta give the devil their due. Katherine Stryfe had a pretty good night at Unstoppable, retaining her title tag titles with Rebbecca. And she did manage to get in two eliminations in the Chamber. Does this make her a true main eventer? Hell no! Let’s be honest here, Kaitlynn carried Kat like a water jug through that match, and got rid of her at will. Stacey MacKenzie will end any speculation that Kat’s a main eventer, but for now we’ll let Stryfe have her moment.
#4- ISABELLA PAZZINI [-2]
To be fair to Isabella, three days before an Elimination Chamber for the FFW Championship is probably not the best time to completely re-evaluate your outlook on life. That, and being completely shellacked by your supposed best friend via a chair certainly ain’t the way to go. All in all, Unstoppable 2 likely won’t be going on the Best of Isabella Pazzini DVD.
#3- COLLEEN [+2]
FFW EVOLUTION CHAMPION
Physically, Colleen managed to survive the onslaught from Wendy and Robbyn, and a big props to her for that. Mentally, however, it seems the pressure’s gotten to Col, and she melted down spectacularily after the match, attacking both her competitors. With the ‘new’ Colleen even more abrasive than the old one, I’m sure these two aren’t the only enemies Colleen’s going to make in the near future.
#2- SCARLETT KINCAID [-1]
Well, I was right about one thing- Scar’s obsession with making a statement ended up costing her dearly. Given what’s happened the past few pay-per-views, it seems to me that going trying to put an exclamation point on a victory over Kitty by going airborne is a bad, bad idea. Still, is there anyone else who even comes close to deserving to be in the two spot? The girl left everything she had out in that Chamber, and even though she came up short, and the book closed on her reign, I think we can all safely say that Scarlett Kincaid’s time as champion was nothing short of a success. Thanks Scar, and best of luck as you try to regain your position atop the company.
#1- KAITLYNN STRYFE [+2]
FFW CHAMPION
Kitty wrestled as close to as perfect a match you could possibly get in an Elimination chamber. She played Katherine Stryfe like a fiddle, using her to get past Amy, Isabella, and Valerie, before discarding her like used trash. The only one who came even close to getting in her way was Scarlett, but in the end, Kaitlynn took advantage of a mistake, hit the bitch kick, and got herself the win. A big congratulations to Kitty. Well played, Ms. Stryfe. Well played.
And there you have it, the largest batch of FFW rankings to date!
FUTURE SHOCK THERAPY
Well, episode 2 of Future Shock is in the books, and what a turmoil filled episode it was! Bikini jousting was the theme of the week, when two girls would get up , and club each other until one fell to her death (or a swimming pool, depending on how far horizontally she fell). Just like American Gladiators used to do!
Anyways, in an apparent desire to prove to the world that FFW desires controversy over fair competition, Alvin Shepherd was the referee for this, which immediately should tell you that this show was pretty much bullshit. The first victim of Alvin’s hall-of-fame caliber officiating was Arabella de Rossi, who was eliminated after Hannah jumped from her pedastal to Arabella, and tossed her in with a headscissors. Anyone who’s ever seen American Gladiators knows that touching your opponents platform is instant DQ.
Well, Hanna got bounced immediately after, when Arabella climbed up her pedastal and chucked her into the pool, which by the way, is also not allowed. And to cap off the evening, in the finals, Gigante knocked Alyssa Foxworth off not once, but TWICE, only for Alvin to wave off the victory each time. (The sun was in your eyes? REALLY?) The whole charade reminded me of the 1972 Munich Olympics Gold Medal Basketball game. Seriously, look it up.
Oh, and I had a couple of video analysts look at the tape- and they told me that it definitely looks like there is something in Seth Star’s hand as he’s shaking Alvin Shepherd’s. And it wasn’t a handkercheif.
Luckily, Alyssa doesn’t get immunity for her win, which means you can still vote her off. Seriously, we can get rid of the dumb cheating bitch once and for all right here. Who’s with me?
Anyways...
I’M VOTING FOR... GIGANTE
Let’s face it. In a competition that wasn’t completely rigged, Gigante would have been a surefire winner. She knocked the holy hell out of Desirae Kain, and did the same to Alyssa twice before shenanigans began. Plus, she’s actually kinda likeable and has a personality. If she gets to the finals, she wins, hands down. Now just for her to get there...
By the way, I can’t blame a single person out there for voting for Hanna Elliot as well. Not after seeing her in that bikini. I mean.. DAYUM.
GOING HOME WILL BE... DESIRAE KAIN
Arabella won the voting last week, and despite the fact that she was eliminated first in the joust, I don’t see her losing that many votes. Hanna should be safe too, for aforementioned reasons. Gigante BETTER not be voted off, and while I know it should be Alyssa, chances are there will be enough brainless Jersey Shore watchers out there to put her through. That leaves Desirae Kain, the only woman eliminated cleanly in the whole show. Hopefully I’m wrong, and it’s Alyssa, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be.
LOOKING AHEAD
Like I said earlier, FFW has gotten themselves a couple new TV deals, and we’re going to be heading to the realm of THREE HOUR shows. Seems like a hell of an idea to me. And it’s not like there’s ever been a company before that began a downward spiral to oblivion because they expanded their shows, right? I kid, I kid. More FFW is a good thing.
Anyways, my top 5 for the upcoming Velocity and Breaking Point.
5. #28 Crystal Hate vs. Angel Kash
Crystal Hate is starting to grab my attention, and it seems to me that she’d make a very welcome addition to the Television title division. Still, she’s got some work to do, mainly beat someone not named Charity Deas. Newcomer Angel Kash isn’t exactly a marquee name to base a career on either, but it’s a definite step in the right direction from Hate, who I see taking this, and pushing herself a bit further up the ladder.
WINNER: Hate
4. #7 Wendy Briese vs. #26 Whitley Mercer
The second edition of the Carpe Diem match should be a lot more entertaining than the first, which saw Michelle Taylor get her ass kicked, then nearly win because Kaitlynn Stryfe interfered. Whitley has been billed as someone who’s about to turn the corner- but against a hungry Wendy that’s coming off a tough disappointment at Unstoppable? Not a chance.
WINNER: Briese
3. #5 Katherine Stryfe vs. Stacey MacKenzie
Stacey hasn’t been in an FFW ring since Conviction, and she hasn’t competed one on one since she beat Belladonna way the fuck back in April. Still, she’s kept herself visible through announcing Future Shock, and her mystique is that she’s the ‘gateway to the main event’. Well, I think its time that gate be slammed in Kat’s face, lest she actually start thinking she belongs.
WINNER: MacKenzie
2. #12 Crystal Hilton vs. Belladonna
Well, Belladonna is back, although if you sneezed, you probably missed the announcement. So expect more hyperactivity, parkour, and things exploding into RAINBOW! In short, this match should be an excellent confidence booster for Crystal, who’s fallen on some hard times thanks to Wendy and Tara. After those two, the ‘demon puppy’ should be a walk in the park(our)!
WINNER: HIlton
1. #1 Kaitlynn Stryfe vs. #3 Colleen
Ho. Lee. Crap. That’s all anyone can say about this match, which could very well prove as Colleen’s debutante’s ball into the main event. Kaitlynn’s tough, I’ve seen that first hand. But Colleen’s got a no-nonsense style about her, and that’s something that Kitty’s previous victims (Val, Wendy, Scarlett) lack. That being said, I can’t see Kitty becoming lax, not so soon after ascending to the top position in the company. This will be a hell of a contest, and could go either way, but I think the champs gonna keep her undefeated streak alive for one more match.
WINNER: Stryfe
And there you have it!
AWARDS!
Well, it’s time for the moment most of you have been waiting for, and, I daresay dreading. I still can’t tell you what possibly brought me to even talk to Rori Snyder (trust me, less than pleasant experience), much less ask her to do awards. Rori, didn’t disappoint, I’ll give her that much.
I feel obligated to inform you all that the following does not represent the opinion of myself, FFW, Wendy Briese, or any other sane, rational human being.
God help us.
=================================
Match of the Week(s)
Special Challenge - Rori Snyder vs. Colleen
Two matches come to mind but this one is the match that stole the show. My match against Colleen not only showed how amazing I was but also showed the world that I have been in the shadows for far too long. It doesn’t take much to beat Colleen (unless you’re Robbyn), and I proved that. It was a perfect match showcasing my brains and my pure determination to destroy anyone and everyone put into the ring against me. It’s sad that I’m still very much underestimated as one of the most powerful women in FFW. Colleen underestimated me, and that’s what cost her the match, that and the fact that she fuckin’ sucks.
Um... yeeeah. You realize you were supposed to choose a match from Unstoppable, right? Ugh, leave it to Rori to be incapable of following instructions. Anyways, runners up:
- Kincaid © vs. Amy vs. Belmont vs. Pazzini vs. Stryfe vs. Stryfe- Flat out the best match of the year so far, in my opinion. Betrayals and broken alliances and surprises abounded. Oh, and the wrestling wasn’t half bad either.
- Colleen © vs. Briese vs. Helmsley- Almost stuck the PYP in here, but I really can’t look past the technical classic that was the Evolution title match. Even in the Elimination chamber, there weren’t three women who worked harder and went more all out than these gals.
Winner of the Week(s)
Colleen
Yes, yes I know. I just ran her name into the mud and said that she fuckin’ sucks. But I have to give Colleen some credit. She really turned around her attitude at Unstoppable II. Not only did she kick the hell out of Wendy, but she proved once and for all my cousin Robbyn doesn’t belong on the same level let alone in the same ring as her. But her win wasn’t what makes her the ‘Winner’ it was her actions after the match. It was the way she completely snapped and handed Robbyn the beating of her lifetime after. I give myself credit. If she’d not have lost to me, she wouldn’t have realized she needed to change. Kudos Colleen!
I’m sure Colleen would be more than happy to show you her appreciation for this award in person. Runners up:
- Kaitlynn Stryfe (You gotta give a nod to the new Champ, right? Queen of the mountain, she is)
- Jo McFarlane (I think Jo turned a lot of heads, and raised her stock quite a bit with her performance in the Pick Your poison match. But can she capitalize on who she picks? That’s the question that remains to be seen.
Loser of the Week(s)
Robbyn Helmsley and Scarlett (Dareau) Kincaid
I don’t give a fuck if it’s only to be one person, I’ve come to the conclusion that these two share some sort of brain. Neither of them saw what was coming at the end of Aggression, however they are both insensitive enough to utter death threats after I just lost my dearest Casey. Robbyn once again proved that her Kryptonite is Colleen, and Scarlett once again proved that she’s only been at the top of the food chain since for as long as she has is because of special booking and fuckin’ the VP of this company. You two are both pathetic and deserve each other!
Have you ever noticed that when someone REALLY wants to be a bitch to Scarlett, the maiden name comes out? Runners up:
- Lumina Ferrari (It don’t matter the circumstances, or the size of your opponent. Anytime you lose as an advantageous side in a handicapped match, you’re probably gonna end up here.)
- Shane Sanders (On the bright side, she is going to get a merchandise bump, because I do owe Wolf one of her T-shirts. But losing to Rori Snyder AGAIN was not what she had in mind for Unstoppable)
Douchebag of the Week(s)
Heavensent & Hellbound
Listen! We don’t see this as a bad thing. Ever since Maddi and I have announced our tag team everyone’s been talking about us. I’m not in this company to make friends, neither is Maddison, but because of popular demand for our heads after destroying Shane Sanders at Unstoppable. I couldn’t help but give us this epic award. So again, Heavensent & Hellbound have 2 things we enjoy doing, destroying people’s careers and having fun doing it! Congrats Maddi, I love you my little douchebag!
Well, finally, we agree on something.
- Alvin Shepherd (This guy had my vote for this award before Future Shock, with his officiating in the Rori/Shane match at Unstoppable. Future Shock just made it worse. Like I said on Twitter- anyone who wants this buffoon dealt with please contribute to help paying of the $5,000 fine Shane Sanders got for punching him. He deserved it, and Shane didn’t deserve the fine)
- Michelle Taylor (For the love of God, please, just stop showing up on my television screen. Forever)
Hopefully my interspersed bits of sanity kept all of your minds from completely breaking. Anyways, um, thanks to Rori for the awards. Now start running before the locker room catches you. Or don’t. I find the alternative amusing.
So that’ll do it for another edition of the Power X. Gonna be a few weeks of course, but I’ll be back after the next Breaking Point, to help us on our way as we head towards SIN AND SACRIFICE!
Until then...
POLLA OUT!
Daniel Pollaski is an freelance wrestling columnist, and the manager of Wendy Briese. He also would like to remind Wendy that no matter what she might think about her beloved Irish, when you’re 18th in the polls, you’re NOT a top ten team. End. Of. Discussion.
The Power X’s inspirational thought of the week.
We're in the city of passion fruit
As red and sour is our everynight
Two hearts in one on a passion beat
An wink or two, then you fall in love
Sweetest melodies carry on till the end of the night
Through the doors where secrets hiding in the shadows all out of sight
Shining like a cat's eye
Magic play is dancing
Quickly casts a greenish reflection
Your eyes are like a cat's eye
Magic play is dancing
Bathing in the light of the moon
We get you... mysterious girl
We know we're running out of passion time
The bell will toll for us every night
All dressed in blue, you're a sexy girl
A kiss or two, then you fade away
Sweetest melodies played on an old piano
Mirrors break, hearts will too, memories in pieces blown before the dawn
Haunted by a cat's eye
Magic play is dancing
Quickly casts a greenish reflection
Love without the cat's eye
Magic play is dancing
Bathing in the light of the moon
We get you... mysterious girl
- “Cat’s Eye (Ventura Mix)” E-Rotic
Hey kids!
So, the biggest pay per view of the year has come and gone, and we now we officially enter the second season of FFW with a new television deal, a new captain at the helm, and a new Champion carrying our banner. That’s right- Breaking Point has moved to ESPN, where it will come to us LIVE every Saturday Night (great news in a few weeks to you college football fans, cause you won’t have to change the channel after watching your favorite SEC team beat the shit out of Auburn). In addition, both Velocity and Breaking Point have been expanded to a whopping THREE HOURS. That’s a lotta wrestling, but when you consider that we’re looking at a roster of nearly fifty women, well, you gotta get everyone in, right?
And of course, we can’t avoid the fact that the Director of Talent Operations, one Cody Kincaid, has taken a couple months leave of absence, to spend some time away from the business. While it’s understandable, considering how hard the guy works, that does leave Samantha Star in charge of the company, a twist that I’m certain more than a few wrestlers here are less than happy about. After all, Samantha tends to treat things like her own personal playground, and I don’t think everyone on the FFW roster is all that willing to be her toys.
And finally, we can all congratulate our newest Champion, the lovely and deadly Kaitlynn Stryfe, who survived the Elimination Chamber over five women to become the fifth FFW champion in company history. It’s this woman that the inspirational thought is dedicated to this week, as Kitty is certainly the eye of the company at the moment. So a big congrats to the new queen, and may she have a successful reign. At least until someone better takes it from her.
Oh, anyone notice the new design around here? A big props to Toiletduck Graphics, who hit me up with the awesome logo, and gave me a color scheme that doesn’t have me looking like a member of Greenpeace.
Anyways, a lot of stuff to cover, given that we’re coming off such a massive show. The usual stock today, kicking off with the rankings, then going on to Future Shock Therapy (and we’re going to need therapy after the load of absolute bullshit we all saw last night). Then of course a look ahead to the coming shows, and finally, awards done by... well, most of you know by now, and are still reading. For the rest of you, we’ll keep it a surprise, because the last thing I need is for you all to click the back/close/porn bookmark button now. We’re just getting started!
THE POWER X RANKINGS!
Ladies and gentlmen, we are looking at the LARGEST SET OF RANKINGS EVER FOR FFW! While we had two dropouts this week, we also had four newcomers/returners, which raises our list to a whopping FORTY WRESTLERS. Unfortunately, there are a couple of ladies that we must say goodbye to, last ranking in brackets.
Nina Battleheart Astral [38]- We all knew this one was coming, considering that Nina uncermemoniously quit before the last Breaking Point. But nevertheless, she now officially finds herself getting kicked off, for good. And good riddance
Gretchen Donimari [26]- I’m much more bummed about this, but with her injury, Gretchen hasn’t been able to get back into the ring, and her eligibility unfortunately expired this time around. We wish Gretch a speedy and full recovery, so she can get back into the action soon.
Anyways given that we are coming out of a pay-per-view, which saw thirty-four of those forty wrestlers competing, It’s safe to say that we’ve got a hell of a lot of movement going on too. Where does your favorite wrestler end up?
Well, start reading, bitches!
COUNT EM DOWN!
#40- DESTINY LOVEHEART [-3]
Alas, poor Destiny found herself being left off of the Unstoppable card, which actually should be good news for her, as she couldn’t lose (although if anyone out there could find a way to lose a match without being booked, its Destiny Loveheart). Still, with NBA’s departure, that leaves Destiny the clear-cut bottom feeder in Femme Fatale Wrestling.
#39- CHARITY DEAS [-4]
Charity Deas never looked better as she arced backwards, screaming and pinwheeling all the while, after being ripped from the briefcase in the pick your poison ladder match. Oh, and smashing through a table at terminal velocity. What a shame. What a horrible, horrible, shame.
#38- SYD ASHLEY [-2]
The ‘other’ member of Simply Flawless enjoyed the night off, although we’re certain it was rough for her to be watching her other (and better) half get tossed off a ladder during the PYP ladder match. Unfortunately, Syd looks to be off this cycle again.
#37- TRACI LOVEHEART [-3]
Well, Traci can thank the gods that she’s able to walk after the epic beatdown by Emma McIntyre she received, which of course, is more than you can say about her *former* tag team partner. Still, it just further cements Traci’s status as one of the worst wrestlers in the company (but the best Loveheart. Go figure). How much longer until Traci’s officially put on the sidelines just like Victoria?
#36- MICHELLE TAYLOR [-5]
Well, the way things look, the next time I type this column will be Michelle Taylor’s final ranking. Because she’s either going to be: 1. Dead at my hand. 2. Fired by Rose Jenkins’ hands. 3. Dead and fired by Rose Jenkins’ hands. 4. Dead by my hand, and fired anyways because Samantha’s that vindictive. Either way, buh-bye, dumbass!
#35- FAITH [-2]
Talk about your bad break for Faith. A careful observer would note that poor Faith actually got left off the Pick Your Poison prematch graphic. Unfortunately, she didn’t get left out of the carnage of the PYP match, taking several bumps, including being thrown off a ladder by Mindy Smyth. Rumor has it that Faith is contemplating retirement after such a brutal contest. If that is so, we here at the Power X wish her the best.
#34- SOPHIA BLACK [NEW]
So after a long hiatus, Sophia Black promptly returned to the ring- and got her ass handed to her by Alyson Summers. Which avenges Christian Kincaids untimely death at her hands (we could only hope). Up next for Sophia? More emotweeting!
#33- LUMINA FERRARI [-3]
Losing when you’re on the advantageous side in a handicapped match is hardly a good thing, so it’s understandable that you could probably call her Gloomina at this moment. Still, rumor has it that Moxie’s gone, which should actually benefit Lumina in the long run. Yeah, she won’t benefit from his training, but at the same time, Moxie’s incendiary comments won’t make the small girl such a huge target. Still, considering she’s gotten Samantha Star’s personal assistant as her next opponent, is she truly out of the crosshairs yet?
#32- MINDY SMYTH [No Change]
Mindy came close several times to winning Pick Your Poison, but couldn’t pull the trigger (or the belt off the wire) thanks largely to a couple well-timed tricks from Casey Atherton. Back to the drawing board for Mindy, but she better sketch something up quick. Tara THunder is a-comin, and she’s not gonna play nice either!
#31- KASSANDRA [-9]
Color me bummed about the Danger Queens losing at Unstoppable, in what was certainly one of the more disappointing performances of the night. So it’s back to square one for the DQ’s, as they struggle to figure out where exactly to go from here. Kassandra, at least, can start when she goes toe to toe with Lilah Carter at breaking Point.
#30- CHARLOTTE GAGE [-14]
Like Kassandra, it’s reassessment time for Charlie, althought unlike Kassie, Charlie doesn’t have the luxury of getting a rebound match yet. And the -14 shouldn’t be taken as a slam on these girls- that’s seriously how bunched up the FFW talent pool is at the moment.
#29- CRYSTAL HATE [No Change]
Crystal was one of the bigger surprises at Conviction, as she represented herself well in the PYP, including an epic taking out of Hayley Dark. But unfortunately, a well timed move involving Alex Adonis and handcuffs left Crystal trapped as the match reached its conclusion, and Hate could do aught but watch as someone else retreived the briefcase.
#28- IGNIS [-4]
Talk about frustration for Ignis... the girl was pretty vocal about her disappointment in being left off of Unstoppable. But she’s not appearing in either of the next two shows either! Someone throw the Firebird a freakin’ bone!
#27- CASEY ATHERTON [NEW]
Casey did everything she possibly could in her power to steal the Pick Your Poison match at Unstoppable, but a well-timed powerbomb from Whitley Mercer cut her ambitions short. Now, I know Casey ain’t out to make friends here, but her enemies certainly seem to be piling up. How long until that comes back to haunt her?
#26- WHITLEY MERCER [-3]
Whitley put in a hell of an effort in the PYP, but ultimately came up short, although she was the only one really going at the end. Everyone is saying the time is coming to turn the corner- and I’d normally be inclined to agree, but against Wendy? Not gonna happen.
#25- REBBECCA VALENTINE [No Change]
FFW UNITY TAG CHAMPION
Well, you have to hand it to the Eternal Flame- they managed to come through when it counted the most. Still, Rebbecca finds herself sorely lacking as a singles competitor, and with her taking the next cycle off, it’s obvious she won’t be esablishing herself anytime soon.
#24- SHANE SANDERS [-5]
Well, I was wrong about Shane. I thought that if she lost to Rori in a falls count anywhere match, she’d have no excuse. Of course, that was before Madison Knight tried to run her down with a car, and the most incompetent official on the planet pulled yet another Alvin Shepherd. So yeah, Shane can certainly be excused for the loss- but she wanted to put Rori in her place, not excuses, and that’s going to hurt.
#23- HAYLEY DARK [-5]
If Unstoppable saw a Pick Your Poison Single-Fall match, or a Pick Your Poison Battle Royale, then Hayley would be in a fairly epic position. Unfortunately, it was a ladder match, and Hayley got caught up in the frenzy. A couple weeks off to nurse her injuries, and she’ll be right back in action!
#22- JO MCFARLANE [+5]
It wasn’t the prettiest win, but Jo McFarlane pulled off a damn near miracle in the Pick Your Poison match, outclimbing (and leaping) seven other women to get the coveted win. Now here comes the fun part- will Jo actually muster up the nerve to call someone out, given that she’s been seemingly reluctant to call someone out to that point?
#21- ALYSON SUMMERS [No Change]
It’s not a bad thing when you can turn a revenge play into what seems like just another day at the office, but Aly managed to do that when she got the better of Sophia Black at Unstoppable. And now that Christian Kincaid enemy #1 has been neutralized, what is there for Aly to do? Well, other than reap the obvious ‘rewards’, of course.
#20- AMY [-3]
Cue the “Final Ranking” tag, and bid a not-so-fond farewell to Amy, who was subsequently fired after being the first eliminated from the Elimination Chamber. Unfortunately, this isn’t the end of her career, as she is reported to be going elsewhere. But, at least as far as FFW is concerned, the Killer Blonde is no more
#19- EMMA MCINTYRE [NEW]
Emma makes her return to FFW in grand fashion, beating the living holy hell out of Traci Loveheart in her first match back. Obviously, since Emma’s a former champion, she’s going to be a huge threat- but how far does she need to work her way back before she’s considered a contender again?
#18- UNDINE [-3]
Could we be seeing the last of the Aquablonde for a while? It’d be a shame, considering that she’s probably the only member of Club CK who’s even remotely sane (which isn’t really saying much). But with her out at Unstoppable, and the forseeable future, all signs point to hiatus.
#17- PAYTON ST. PIERRE [-3]
FFW TELEVISION CHAMPION
You gotta love Pay, the only FFW titleholder so little regarded she’s actually missed BOTH of the Pay-Per-Views she’s been around for. Not that I’m complaining of course- I’m a firm believer that the less we see of our current television champion, the better off we all are.
#16- SAMANTHA STAR [-3]
As much as it pains me to drop our glorious leader in the rankings, the ebb and flow of the results from Conviction demanded it. Given that I’m sure Ms. Star made an absolute killing on the PPV buys, I don’t think she’s ultimately going to mind.
#15- SOPHIE RICHARDS [-3]
Sophie’s another girl who its not entirely clear where she’ll go from here. Obviously, a decisive match against Payton would be optimal, but here’s thinking that St. Pierre probably would duck such an encounter. Other than that, really, where else does Sophie go?
#14- RORI SNYDER [+6]
Yep, I’m sure there’s going to be outrage over this, but the facts are the facts. And the facts are that Rori, by hook or by crook, hasn’t lost a match since the Velocity before Conviction. And while I certainly couldn’t give her credit for that win over Colleen, her victory over Shane was completely in the rules, as screwed up as it was. Not to mention, but let’s face it- she’s one of the hottest topics of conversation around the company. Oh yeah, *and* she was revealed to be the one who attacked Cody Kincaid. This girl’s been busy!
#13- CAMILLA PAZZINI [-9]
The Queen is dead? One could certainly make an argument as such, considering that the supposed Queen of Ultraviolence wrestling, in her very first match, just got shown up by a greenhorn rookie. A greenhorn rookie who hadn’t even competed in two months. And while we at the Power X are certainly aware of the possibilities of flukes, the fact of the matter is that Chunks right now is much more image than she is substance.
#12- CRYSTAL HILTON [-3]
It’s tough to think that Crystal’s taken two losses in a row now. But she really hasn’t taken a step back- she’s just come out on the wrong side of a couple matches against tough competition. Luckily, this ‘streak’ should be breaking, as Crystal next faces the much overhyped Belladonna. Of course, if she *does* end up losing to the demon puppy, then it’ll be time to start worrying.
#11- RAVEN WICKED [Returning- Last ranked 17th on June 18]
FFW ULTRAVIOLENCE CHAMPION
Well, you’ve gotta give Raven some serious credit here- she came into Unstoppable a heavy underdog, but managed to come through and beat Camilla Pazzini in the prison of punishment. Considering how thin the Ultraviolence division actually is, there seems to be two roads Raven is going to take: 1. A rematch against Camilla (most likely); 2. A defense against Kara Harrington (not quite as likely).
#10- TARA THUNDER [+18]
I had a feeling I had Tara a bit on the underranked side, and I was proven to be right on that account at Unstoppable, when Tara overcame a very persistant Crystal Hilton, and earned herself the number one contendership for the Evolution Championship. Unfortunately, before that epic showdown can happen, Tara has to deal with the Principal. Trust me on this- this is an upset Tara is definitely not going to let happen.
#9- ROSE JENKINS [+2]
Unlike her much maligned cousin Leroy, Rose Jenkins seems more than capable of charging into impossible situations and getting the job done. She did so at Unstoppable, skillfully using Johnny Moxie’s cheating ways against him, to overcome a two on one handicap and pick up the huge win. Next up for Rose should be a relative breather- a chance to kick the ever-annoying Michelle Taylor out of the FFW. Provided I don’t legitimately kill Taylor Aggression, of course.
#8- ROBBYN HELMSLEY [-1]
If Robbyn ever hopes to make it to the next level, she seriously needs to develop a tolerance for pain in submission holds. I mean, yeah, they hurt, and they’d make a normal girl cry and tap in about two seconds, but this is SUPERGIRL we’re talking about here. She’s supposed to be tougher than that. And besides, if she had held on, and not been such a bitch about it, Wendy would be Evolution Champion right now. So there.
#7- WENDY BRIESE [+1]
Robbyn’s ‘amazing’ 15-second ‘holdout’ proves to be the difference between the two this week, and the girls switch places. While the question of where Wendy goes from here remains to be answered, her immediate future is certainly known- an upstart Whitley Mercer coming at her in the carpe diem match. Don’t worry kids, Wendy’s got her head in the game, and won’t be stumbling here.
#6- VALERIE BELMONT [No Change]
Color me one fairly disappointed panda. Val’s second coming in FFW ended with a thud, or a crack if you want to take her knee into consideration. Anyways, looks like Val’s gonna be gone, and this time it ain’t no two month hiatus. This will be her final ranking.
#5- KATHERINE STRYFE [+5]
FFW UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION
Well, you gotta give the devil their due. Katherine Stryfe had a pretty good night at Unstoppable, retaining her title tag titles with Rebbecca. And she did manage to get in two eliminations in the Chamber. Does this make her a true main eventer? Hell no! Let’s be honest here, Kaitlynn carried Kat like a water jug through that match, and got rid of her at will. Stacey MacKenzie will end any speculation that Kat’s a main eventer, but for now we’ll let Stryfe have her moment.
#4- ISABELLA PAZZINI [-2]
To be fair to Isabella, three days before an Elimination Chamber for the FFW Championship is probably not the best time to completely re-evaluate your outlook on life. That, and being completely shellacked by your supposed best friend via a chair certainly ain’t the way to go. All in all, Unstoppable 2 likely won’t be going on the Best of Isabella Pazzini DVD.
#3- COLLEEN [+2]
FFW EVOLUTION CHAMPION
Physically, Colleen managed to survive the onslaught from Wendy and Robbyn, and a big props to her for that. Mentally, however, it seems the pressure’s gotten to Col, and she melted down spectacularily after the match, attacking both her competitors. With the ‘new’ Colleen even more abrasive than the old one, I’m sure these two aren’t the only enemies Colleen’s going to make in the near future.
#2- SCARLETT KINCAID [-1]
Well, I was right about one thing- Scar’s obsession with making a statement ended up costing her dearly. Given what’s happened the past few pay-per-views, it seems to me that going trying to put an exclamation point on a victory over Kitty by going airborne is a bad, bad idea. Still, is there anyone else who even comes close to deserving to be in the two spot? The girl left everything she had out in that Chamber, and even though she came up short, and the book closed on her reign, I think we can all safely say that Scarlett Kincaid’s time as champion was nothing short of a success. Thanks Scar, and best of luck as you try to regain your position atop the company.
#1- KAITLYNN STRYFE [+2]
FFW CHAMPION
Kitty wrestled as close to as perfect a match you could possibly get in an Elimination chamber. She played Katherine Stryfe like a fiddle, using her to get past Amy, Isabella, and Valerie, before discarding her like used trash. The only one who came even close to getting in her way was Scarlett, but in the end, Kaitlynn took advantage of a mistake, hit the bitch kick, and got herself the win. A big congratulations to Kitty. Well played, Ms. Stryfe. Well played.
And there you have it, the largest batch of FFW rankings to date!
FUTURE SHOCK THERAPY
Well, episode 2 of Future Shock is in the books, and what a turmoil filled episode it was! Bikini jousting was the theme of the week, when two girls would get up , and club each other until one fell to her death (or a swimming pool, depending on how far horizontally she fell). Just like American Gladiators used to do!
Anyways, in an apparent desire to prove to the world that FFW desires controversy over fair competition, Alvin Shepherd was the referee for this, which immediately should tell you that this show was pretty much bullshit. The first victim of Alvin’s hall-of-fame caliber officiating was Arabella de Rossi, who was eliminated after Hannah jumped from her pedastal to Arabella, and tossed her in with a headscissors. Anyone who’s ever seen American Gladiators knows that touching your opponents platform is instant DQ.
Well, Hanna got bounced immediately after, when Arabella climbed up her pedastal and chucked her into the pool, which by the way, is also not allowed. And to cap off the evening, in the finals, Gigante knocked Alyssa Foxworth off not once, but TWICE, only for Alvin to wave off the victory each time. (The sun was in your eyes? REALLY?) The whole charade reminded me of the 1972 Munich Olympics Gold Medal Basketball game. Seriously, look it up.
Oh, and I had a couple of video analysts look at the tape- and they told me that it definitely looks like there is something in Seth Star’s hand as he’s shaking Alvin Shepherd’s. And it wasn’t a handkercheif.
Luckily, Alyssa doesn’t get immunity for her win, which means you can still vote her off. Seriously, we can get rid of the dumb cheating bitch once and for all right here. Who’s with me?
Anyways...
I’M VOTING FOR... GIGANTE
Let’s face it. In a competition that wasn’t completely rigged, Gigante would have been a surefire winner. She knocked the holy hell out of Desirae Kain, and did the same to Alyssa twice before shenanigans began. Plus, she’s actually kinda likeable and has a personality. If she gets to the finals, she wins, hands down. Now just for her to get there...
By the way, I can’t blame a single person out there for voting for Hanna Elliot as well. Not after seeing her in that bikini. I mean.. DAYUM.
GOING HOME WILL BE... DESIRAE KAIN
Arabella won the voting last week, and despite the fact that she was eliminated first in the joust, I don’t see her losing that many votes. Hanna should be safe too, for aforementioned reasons. Gigante BETTER not be voted off, and while I know it should be Alyssa, chances are there will be enough brainless Jersey Shore watchers out there to put her through. That leaves Desirae Kain, the only woman eliminated cleanly in the whole show. Hopefully I’m wrong, and it’s Alyssa, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be.
LOOKING AHEAD
Like I said earlier, FFW has gotten themselves a couple new TV deals, and we’re going to be heading to the realm of THREE HOUR shows. Seems like a hell of an idea to me. And it’s not like there’s ever been a company before that began a downward spiral to oblivion because they expanded their shows, right? I kid, I kid. More FFW is a good thing.
Anyways, my top 5 for the upcoming Velocity and Breaking Point.
5. #28 Crystal Hate vs. Angel Kash
Crystal Hate is starting to grab my attention, and it seems to me that she’d make a very welcome addition to the Television title division. Still, she’s got some work to do, mainly beat someone not named Charity Deas. Newcomer Angel Kash isn’t exactly a marquee name to base a career on either, but it’s a definite step in the right direction from Hate, who I see taking this, and pushing herself a bit further up the ladder.
WINNER: Hate
4. #7 Wendy Briese vs. #26 Whitley Mercer
The second edition of the Carpe Diem match should be a lot more entertaining than the first, which saw Michelle Taylor get her ass kicked, then nearly win because Kaitlynn Stryfe interfered. Whitley has been billed as someone who’s about to turn the corner- but against a hungry Wendy that’s coming off a tough disappointment at Unstoppable? Not a chance.
WINNER: Briese
3. #5 Katherine Stryfe vs. Stacey MacKenzie
Stacey hasn’t been in an FFW ring since Conviction, and she hasn’t competed one on one since she beat Belladonna way the fuck back in April. Still, she’s kept herself visible through announcing Future Shock, and her mystique is that she’s the ‘gateway to the main event’. Well, I think its time that gate be slammed in Kat’s face, lest she actually start thinking she belongs.
WINNER: MacKenzie
2. #12 Crystal Hilton vs. Belladonna
Well, Belladonna is back, although if you sneezed, you probably missed the announcement. So expect more hyperactivity, parkour, and things exploding into RAINBOW! In short, this match should be an excellent confidence booster for Crystal, who’s fallen on some hard times thanks to Wendy and Tara. After those two, the ‘demon puppy’ should be a walk in the park(our)!
WINNER: HIlton
1. #1 Kaitlynn Stryfe vs. #3 Colleen
Ho. Lee. Crap. That’s all anyone can say about this match, which could very well prove as Colleen’s debutante’s ball into the main event. Kaitlynn’s tough, I’ve seen that first hand. But Colleen’s got a no-nonsense style about her, and that’s something that Kitty’s previous victims (Val, Wendy, Scarlett) lack. That being said, I can’t see Kitty becoming lax, not so soon after ascending to the top position in the company. This will be a hell of a contest, and could go either way, but I think the champs gonna keep her undefeated streak alive for one more match.
WINNER: Stryfe
And there you have it!
AWARDS!
Well, it’s time for the moment most of you have been waiting for, and, I daresay dreading. I still can’t tell you what possibly brought me to even talk to Rori Snyder (trust me, less than pleasant experience), much less ask her to do awards. Rori, didn’t disappoint, I’ll give her that much.
I feel obligated to inform you all that the following does not represent the opinion of myself, FFW, Wendy Briese, or any other sane, rational human being.
God help us.
=================================
Match of the Week(s)
Special Challenge - Rori Snyder vs. Colleen
Two matches come to mind but this one is the match that stole the show. My match against Colleen not only showed how amazing I was but also showed the world that I have been in the shadows for far too long. It doesn’t take much to beat Colleen (unless you’re Robbyn), and I proved that. It was a perfect match showcasing my brains and my pure determination to destroy anyone and everyone put into the ring against me. It’s sad that I’m still very much underestimated as one of the most powerful women in FFW. Colleen underestimated me, and that’s what cost her the match, that and the fact that she fuckin’ sucks.
Um... yeeeah. You realize you were supposed to choose a match from Unstoppable, right? Ugh, leave it to Rori to be incapable of following instructions. Anyways, runners up:
- Kincaid © vs. Amy vs. Belmont vs. Pazzini vs. Stryfe vs. Stryfe- Flat out the best match of the year so far, in my opinion. Betrayals and broken alliances and surprises abounded. Oh, and the wrestling wasn’t half bad either.
- Colleen © vs. Briese vs. Helmsley- Almost stuck the PYP in here, but I really can’t look past the technical classic that was the Evolution title match. Even in the Elimination chamber, there weren’t three women who worked harder and went more all out than these gals.
Winner of the Week(s)
Colleen
Yes, yes I know. I just ran her name into the mud and said that she fuckin’ sucks. But I have to give Colleen some credit. She really turned around her attitude at Unstoppable II. Not only did she kick the hell out of Wendy, but she proved once and for all my cousin Robbyn doesn’t belong on the same level let alone in the same ring as her. But her win wasn’t what makes her the ‘Winner’ it was her actions after the match. It was the way she completely snapped and handed Robbyn the beating of her lifetime after. I give myself credit. If she’d not have lost to me, she wouldn’t have realized she needed to change. Kudos Colleen!
I’m sure Colleen would be more than happy to show you her appreciation for this award in person. Runners up:
- Kaitlynn Stryfe (You gotta give a nod to the new Champ, right? Queen of the mountain, she is)
- Jo McFarlane (I think Jo turned a lot of heads, and raised her stock quite a bit with her performance in the Pick Your poison match. But can she capitalize on who she picks? That’s the question that remains to be seen.
Loser of the Week(s)
Robbyn Helmsley and Scarlett (Dareau) Kincaid
I don’t give a fuck if it’s only to be one person, I’ve come to the conclusion that these two share some sort of brain. Neither of them saw what was coming at the end of Aggression, however they are both insensitive enough to utter death threats after I just lost my dearest Casey. Robbyn once again proved that her Kryptonite is Colleen, and Scarlett once again proved that she’s only been at the top of the food chain since for as long as she has is because of special booking and fuckin’ the VP of this company. You two are both pathetic and deserve each other!
Have you ever noticed that when someone REALLY wants to be a bitch to Scarlett, the maiden name comes out? Runners up:
- Lumina Ferrari (It don’t matter the circumstances, or the size of your opponent. Anytime you lose as an advantageous side in a handicapped match, you’re probably gonna end up here.)
- Shane Sanders (On the bright side, she is going to get a merchandise bump, because I do owe Wolf one of her T-shirts. But losing to Rori Snyder AGAIN was not what she had in mind for Unstoppable)
Douchebag of the Week(s)
Heavensent & Hellbound
Listen! We don’t see this as a bad thing. Ever since Maddi and I have announced our tag team everyone’s been talking about us. I’m not in this company to make friends, neither is Maddison, but because of popular demand for our heads after destroying Shane Sanders at Unstoppable. I couldn’t help but give us this epic award. So again, Heavensent & Hellbound have 2 things we enjoy doing, destroying people’s careers and having fun doing it! Congrats Maddi, I love you my little douchebag!
Well, finally, we agree on something.
- Alvin Shepherd (This guy had my vote for this award before Future Shock, with his officiating in the Rori/Shane match at Unstoppable. Future Shock just made it worse. Like I said on Twitter- anyone who wants this buffoon dealt with please contribute to help paying of the $5,000 fine Shane Sanders got for punching him. He deserved it, and Shane didn’t deserve the fine)
- Michelle Taylor (For the love of God, please, just stop showing up on my television screen. Forever)
Hopefully my interspersed bits of sanity kept all of your minds from completely breaking. Anyways, um, thanks to Rori for the awards. Now start running before the locker room catches you. Or don’t. I find the alternative amusing.
So that’ll do it for another edition of the Power X. Gonna be a few weeks of course, but I’ll be back after the next Breaking Point, to help us on our way as we head towards SIN AND SACRIFICE!
Until then...
POLLA OUT!
Daniel Pollaski is an freelance wrestling columnist, and the manager of Wendy Briese. He also would like to remind Wendy that no matter what she might think about her beloved Irish, when you’re 18th in the polls, you’re NOT a top ten team. End. Of. Discussion.
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