Once again, its time for wrestling manager and analyst Daniel Pollaski to go over the news, reviews, and previews of Femme Fatale Wrestling! All content is the sole opinion of the author and does not reflect the views of Femme Fatale Wrestling, its wrestlers, or administration. Or Wendy Briese, for that matter, so don’t go jumping her in the hallway if you get butthurt about this. Bitch.
The Power X’s inspirational thought of the week:
Nobody on the road
nobody on the beach
I feel it in the air
the summer's out of reach
Empty lake, empty streets,
the sun goes down alone
I'm drivin' by your house
Though I know you're not home
I can see you
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun
You got your hair combed back and your
sunglasses on, baby
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
after the boys of summer have gone
- “The Boys of Summer” Don Henley
Hey kids!
I know, I know, its more the “Girls Of Summer” but, in all honesty, I don’t like the Aerosmith song, and, let’s be honest... Don Henley needs more love. I mean seriously, both as the Eagles and solo, the guy rocked.
But alas, Summer’s coming to an end, with the last hurrah of the season just around the corner (and, regretfully, the first time in six years that I will not be attending the Kittitas County Rodeo). Still, its nice to reflect on the summer that was, with the crowning of a new champion, the further domination of our owner, and Isabella Pazzini, well, stopping being a bitch.
But with Labor Day (and FFW’s new Byte This Internet PPV!) just around the corner coming up, and Sin & Sacrifice not far after that, there’s plenty to look forward to as we head into the autumnal season. It’s gonna be a fun September!
THE POWER X RANKINGS!
Thanks to the new, extended cards, the rankings have grown yet again, to a whopping forty-four wrestlers as EIGHT people make their debuts into the lists. Of course, that also means that we’re saying goodbye to four people, and some pretty big names to boot. They are-
VALERIE BELMONT (last ranking: 5th)- Val’s leg injury was bad enough, but that soon took on a more positive light as it was revealed that she was pregnant. So while infernal vampire spawn #2 gestates within her, she’ll be on leave of absence. Best of luck to ya, Val! If it’s a boy, name him Simon!
SAMANTHA STAR (16th)- Well, okay, Samantha’s not really gone, but nonetheless, she has been dropped from the rankings, due to her awesome beatdown of “Nina Astral” being a temporary thing. She’s still our president!
UNDINE (18th)- Undine announced her departure for SVW this week, and we here at FFW are sad to see her go. But SVW is lucky to get her, and yours truly is kinda scared of the prospect of having to face her. Still, best of luck to her!
AMY (20th)- Like Meredith, Amy departed for SVW, which normally wouldn’t be something worth caring about. But then Amy came in and plowed Luther Thunder, allowing Bryan Deas to get a victory, and put him in the steel cage with Alexander Stryfe!
As for the rest of ya’ll? Well, buckle up! It’s a long-ass way to the top!
#44- ANGEL KASH [NEW]
Well, you can chalk this one up to ‘hello and goodbye, thanks for coming’. After just one match, Angel has been released from FFW for her pathetic performance. And no one cared.
#43- LILAH CARTER [NEW]
Given how bad she stunk up the ring in her FFW debut against Kassandra, maybe we should start calling her Lilah Farter. Uh oh, that could be libel, and she could sue. Bah, she’d lose that too!
#42- KADENCE WESSON [NEW]
Now, this one actually surprised me. It took a long time for Kadence to make her official in ring debut, and while I wasn’t completely expecting her to beat Kara Harrington, I certainly figured she’d do better than... well, THAT. Looks like RawkerGirl has a long way to go.
#41- DESTINY LOVEHEART [-1]
Now finally we come to the familiar faces. And the worn-out spaces.. worn out spaces. Destiny Loveheart got out for her daily races, bu went nowhere, going nowhere, because Madison Knight kicked her ass all over this Mad World. And now I’m upset because I just wasted an awesome song reference on this bitch.
#40- CHARITY DEAS [-1]
But you know what? I find it kinda funny, and I find it kind of sad, that there was actually another Deas sibling out there, and she’s now joined her sister in FFW as well. Let’s just hope Allison is better than the previous Deas’ we’ve been subjected to.
#39- SYD ASHLEY [-1]
The dreams in which Simply Flawless is losing are the best I’ve ever had. Mainly because I’ve now gotten to the point where I cannot even comprehend the thought of either Faith or Syd Ashley ever winning a match.
#38- TRACI LOVEHEART [-1]
Wait, guys.. hang on! Traci wasn’t booked the last cycle. She isn’t booked for any of the upcoming shows either. If she’s off the card at Sin & Sacrifice, I’ll have no choice but to say goodbye to her. And what a shame would that be.
#37- MICHELLE TAYLOR [-1]
FINAL RANKING! Thanks to Rose Jenkins (with healthy, if unnecessary assists from yours truly and Chunks), Michelle Taylor has been fired and removed from the Femme Fatale Wrestling roster. And people say there is no justice in this world.
#36- BELLADONNA [Returning- Last ranked 28th on July 4]
Just a one-shot here it seems. Belladonna returned, Belladonna found out she still wasn’t good enough to compete in FFW anymore, and Belladonna left. And we wasted a main event. Oh well, can’t win ‘em all.
#35- FAITH [No Change]
Now that Simply Flawless is getting a match against the Deas sisters, maybe they can actually pull out a victory. Faith better think of something, because my Faith in Faith is about to soon be no more.
#34- SOPHIA BLACK [No Change]
Sophia’s sat on her haunches ever since she was embarassed in her ‘big’ return by Alyson Summers. Next up? A huge, albeit unattainable, opportunity, when she faces the Ultraviolence Champion.
#33- LUMINA FERRARI [No Change]
Well we were curious to see if Moxie’s departure would do anything for Lumina’s career. Well, on the bright side, it didn’t make it any worse (mainly because that’s kind of imposible at this point). But with a loss to PSP, it hasn’t made it any better either.
#32- MINDY SMTYH [No Change]
The Principal got bumpused in her wumpus by Tara Thunder, and flat out womanhandled. Still, she’s faced a fairly tough slate. Theoretically, that gets easier at the next Breaking Point, when she takes on the rookie Kelly McGuffin.
#31- MADISON KNIGHT [NEW]
Maddi finally made her long-awaited debut, and while it was definitely a victory for her, it was hardly an impressive one. Still, it seems to have gotten some people’s attention, as Heavensent and Hellbound get to go non-title against the Eternal Flame at Byte This next week. A win there... and we have our number one contenders!
#30- KASSANDRA [+1]
Kassandra got the win over a debuting Lilah Carter, to halt the unfortunate backslide the Danger Queens have been on. Still, it was obvious she was distracted during that match, with her friend Esteban in the hospital. Luckily, Kassi gets some time to regroup herself before Sin & Sacrifice- when she becomes the first person to compete in two chases for the crown!
#29- KARA HARRINGTON [NEW]
I know, this is a girl who has two seperate identities, Kara and Wendy, but considering there’s another, more awesome Wendy here now, expect “Kara” to be the name on here. Regardless of whatever personality she has, there’s little denying that she was damned good in her return match, dismantling Kadence Wesson. What’s next for this obviously unbalanced Fatale?
#28- CHARLOTTE GAGE [+2]
The last time Charlie was in singles action, she put on a brilliant effort against Sophie Richards, only to come up short. Well, now she’s back in action, against the exact same woman. A win here would skyrocket Charlie up the ladder in the very crowded television title picture.
#27- IGNIS [+1]
With her sister gone, it looked like Ignis could be in trouble, especially since she’s been sitting more or less dead in the water since her debut. That can all change this week, when she teams with Hayley against Jo and Eileen. The tag division is looking to start heating up, and the winner here will probably have a bit of a chance.
#26- CASEY ATHERTON [+1]
Speaking of tag teams, Casey suddenly finds herself on one- Team Adonis. And while I’m sure Casey’s thrilled at competing under her boy-toy Alex’s banner, the fact that his WIFE Starla is on the other end is probably a little bit of a killjoy. If those two can coexist against SmarterKnight and Summers, I’ll be amazed.
#25- WHITLEY MERCER [+1]
Whittlez came out swinging for this one, and good for her, it was a hell of an effort. But she did come up short against Wendy, the latest in a long line of disappointments for the girl. She’s going to turn the corner soon, but we’ve been hearing that for a while. Whitley needs to make something happen.
#24- JO MCFARLANE [-2]
Considering her only win came from a lucky miracle jump in a ladder match, Jo’s smacking of Isabella Pazzini is, to date, the high point of her career. And it will likely lead to the low point of her career when Isabella finally manages to get ahold of her. Good thing Izzy’s stopped using the bladed staff, right?
#23- REBBECCA VALENTINE [+2]
*FFW UNITY TAG CHAMPION*
Well, from the looks of things, the powers that be have completely given up on Rebbecca as a viable singles competitor, a conclusion I reached about two months ago. The only tiime this woman is ever stepping into the ring is as a member of the Eternal Flame. Luckily for Rebbecca, that next moment comes soon- at Byte this in a nontitle match.
#22- SHANE SANDERS [+2]
On a personal note, a big congratulations are in order to Ms. Sanders, as she has adopted a child into her family, Ben. Unfortunately, her professional life isn’t going quite as swimmingly. If Sanders isn’t booked at Sin & Sacrifice, I’ll unfortunately have little choice but to remove her.
Holy crap, halfway home!
#21- CRYSTAL HATE [+8]
I’m still not sure what to make of Crystal Hate, to be honest. She had a good performance in the ladder match, but ultimately came up short. And while she’s won all her singles matches so far... well, she hasn’t exactly faced the best of competeition. Next up, Crytal plays welcome wagon again, to Stephanie Sullivan. I don’t know much about the newcomer, other than she’s a really good technical wrestler, but I can say one thing safely- a loss here is going to set Crystal back significantly.
#20- HAYLEY DARK [+3]
I don’t think I need to tell anyone here that I’m certainly sold on the Boing Machine. But, like so many of the girls in Club CK, she deals with a very inconsistent schedule, so just as you think she might be getting some momentum, she disappears for a couple weeks. Well, Hayley’s back, and in a tag team again. One thing’s for certain- the likelihood of her being overshadowed and forgotten about by Ignis is slim to none.
#19- KELLY MCGUFFIN [NEW]
Kelly’s the highest first-timer in this week’s rankings, and it’s safe to say she earned it, with an absolutely breathtaking victory over Jo McFarlane- a Jo who had a ton of momentum coming out of Unstoppable. After such a big win, Mindy Smyth could be a classic letdown trapdoor opponent. Can this young rookie maintain focus?
#18- ALYSON SUMMERS [+3]
Aly’s only got a couple weeks left until she’s forced to give up her reigning Future Shock Champion status. In the meantime, this week she teams with Deven Knight, who managed to be the first eliminated in the current installment. Can Aly carry her team to victory... against Team Adonis, no less?
#17- EMMA MCINTYRE [+2]
Emma’s got her course charted for the next month or so, as she headlines the next Velocity, where we get to watch her absolutely kick Rori Snyder’s ass. Oh, yeah, and then she faces Colleen at Sin & Sacrifice. Truth be told- that could be a preview of a future late-round Femme For All match!
#16- SOPHIE RICHARDS [-1]
Sophie’s got her rubber match at Sin & Sacrifice, but before that point, she goes one on one with Chuckie Gage. But here’s the thing- when she steps into the ring at Breaking Point, it will have been over two months since she’s last competed. That’s a LOT of time to have elapsed, especially for a rookie. Sophie’s going to have a lot of ring-rust to shake off!
#15- RORI SNYDER [-1]
The clock is ticking on Rori, who FINALLY has to deal with competition that is not only talented, but has the foresight to see through her bullshit. Just keep Robbyn Helmsley in the back, so she doesn’t get in the way, please. But after Emma and Scarlett are through with her, expect Rori to be out of the top 20 (and hopefully FFW!) by October!
#14 PAYTON ST. PIERRE [+3]
*FFW TELEVISION CHAMPION*
I can’t stand her- there’s no doubt about that. But there’s also no doubt that Pay’s been seriously winning matches lately, the latest being a beautiful, clean stomping of Lumina Ferrari. From the looks of things, Payton doesn’t step into the ring again until Sin & Sacrifice. Will that be enough time to get ready for an obviously vengeful Sophie?
#13- STACEY MACKENZIE [Returning- Last ranked 6th on June 18th]
Stacey finally stepped back into the ring, and she ended up with a time-limit draw against Katherine Stryfe. An obvious disappointment for her, but one that’s not really her fault (read below to see what I mean!)
#12- CAMILLA PAZZINI [+1]
While it’ll take a while for Camilla to fully rebound from her shocking loss at Conviction (or at least until she can get the title back at Sin & Sacrifice), I think we can all admit that her punking of Rose Jenkins at Velocity, by even insinuating that she couldn’t handle Michelle Taylor by herself, was damned hillarious. What won’t be funny is what these two do to each other at Conviction, along with...
#11- RAVEN WICKED [No Change]
*FFW ULTRAVIOLENCE CHAMPION*
Given that Raven’s into the pain and misery stuff, she’s going to be a bit on the disappointed side come Velocity, given that Sophia Black’s anything but capable of committing those things. Oh well, she’ll have violence aplenty come Sin and Sacrifice.
#10- CRYSTAL HILTON [+2]
Crystal’s got the opportuntiy of a lifetime at Byte This, when she goes one on one with the Champion. Oh, yeah, and there’s a little something about two out of three falls against a certain redhead at Sin & Sacrifice. If there’s ever a time Crystal needs to be perfect... it’s now.
#9- ROSE JENKINS [No Change]
For the first time since her debut, Rose doesn’t move up in the rankings. But here’s some food for thought. Rose has wreaked a swath of destruction against NBA, Lumina, and now Michelle Taylor. Those were all on Samantha’s orders- Rose was just playing the hired muscle. At Sin & Sacrifice, Rose is actually doing something for herself. How scary is she gonna be THEN?
#8- TARA THUNDER [+2]
Tara took it to Mindy, and walked away with another strong showing and a win. Now, it’s time for her to cash in her chips, when she gets her Evolution Title shot. But it won’t just be her and Colleen in that ring- Wendy’s got her shot as well in the ladder match. What Tara thinks about that remains to be seen- does she welcome another opponent to beat on, or will she feel her toes are being stepped upon?
#7- ROBBYN HELMSLEY [+1]
Looks like I was mistaken. When Ms. Star that Robbyn had a match at Sin & Sacrifice that was a LONG time in the making, I naturally assumed it was against Isabella. Apparently not, because Robbyn goes one on one with HER the show before! Its put up or shut up time for Supergirl!
#6- WENDY BRIESE [+1]
The biggest task for Wendy right now is maintaining focus, as she suddenly finds herself with a very, very fulll plate. The Evolution Title. Two out of Three Falls. The subsequent Femme For All, and now Lucas Peek over in SVW. Wendy can come away from this looking like a monster, but she’s gotta take it one match at a time, starting with Byte This.
#5- KATHERINE STRYFE [+1]
*FFW UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION*
I was afraid that Katherine Stryfe was going to be named the #1 contender, considering that Colleen was named against Emma, Scarlett likely against Rori, Wendy against Crystal, and there’s no chance in hell that Isabella is going to be seeing that belt anytime soon. Oh well, even the best of companies end up with a so-so PPV Main Event once in a while. Luckily, the news is better received with Kat coming off a draw against Stacey instead of a loss. It was what Kat was hoping for, going by the last seven minutes of that match, which pretty much just saw Kat lying there. Obviously, she had realized that she wasn’t beating Stacey, and was just holding out until the bell rang. Mission accomplished. She deserves an award for that.
#4- COLLEEN [-1]
*FFW EVOLUTION CHAMPION*
Well, if it weren’t for her pulling Bitchy Colleen Move #281 before the match, I’d actually feel sorry for her. Once again, Colleen had a chance to break through, and once again, she blew it and came up short. At least she has her A-List sisters to keep her company, given that we all know how much Colleen loves being part of a group and all.
#3- ISABELLA PAZZINI [+1]
Well, Colleen had to move down, so Isabella moves back up. Starting to wonder here- is Isabella even going to be on the Sin & Sacrifice card? Seven matches have already been announced, and we’re just a couple weeks from finalization. A PPV without the Meanie Pazzini is unthinkable, but with her on the outs with our illustrious owner...
#2- SCARLETT KINCAID [No Change]
Scarlett’s gonna be at Byte this, but its obvious that everyone is counting down the days until she meets Rori Snyder, and finally shreds the fuck out of her. Still, we all long longingly at the main event slot, which will be devoid of Scarlett’s name for the first time in half a year, with a big of longing.
#1- KAITLYNN STRYFE [No Change]
*FFW CHAMPION*
The Kitty train just keeps on rolling, and slowing it down seems to be damn near impossible, much less derailing it. With Crystal HIlton next, and Katherine Stryfe after, that undefeated streak could be going well until after the leaves change. Here’s one thing- the person who brings Kitty down will have definitely earned it.
Whoo! That mountain gets bigger and bigger! Any bigger, and we’ll be back to the Power Fifty!
INCOMING!
So now we look to the future. Plenty of matches (like, sixteen of them) in the next couple of weeks, beginning with Velocity on Thursday, the special Byte this PPV on the fifth, and the go home Breaking Point on the tenth.
First of all, Byte This. As is customary with all PPVs, I’ll give a full card rundown. Now, at $10, Byte This isn’t exactly your traditional FFW Pay-per-view. THere’s only four matches, and none of them have direct title implications (although i think its safe to say that anyone who beats a champion here is throwing themselves right onto the contender shortlist). We are, however, getting four OUTSTANDING exhibitions, to be fought outside in beautiful Central Park, New York!
Oh yeah, did I mention the whole thing is for a good cause- the Susan B. Komen Foundation for Breast Cancer research? I mean, talk about your win-win propositions! So order this bad boy! Or shell out a couple more bucks, come to the Park, and watch us Live! Unless you’re in Ellensburg, Washington for the rodeo, there’s NOTHING else that’s better to do on Labor Day!
TAG: The Eternal Flame (#5 Katherine Stryfe & #23 Rebbecca Valentine) vs. Heavensent & Hellbound (#15 Rori Snyder & #31 Madison Knight)
Yeah, I know I’m not sold on the Eternal Flame being the best team in the company, and I enjoy laughing at Katherine Stryfe when she loses, but let’s be honest here... they’re not THIS bad. Rori Snyder is a talentless hack who had to cheat her way into the midcard, and Madison Knight is the DUMBER member of the Knight family. If TEF drops THIS one, I’m laughing all the way to the bank. Then probably crying, because that just meant Heavensent & Hellbound might have just become the #1 contenders)
WINNERS: The Eternal Flame
TAG: Fire & Fury (#2 Scarlett Kincaid & #7 Robbyn Helmsley) vs. #3 Isabella Pazzini & #6 Wendy Briese
Third billing? Are you kidding me? This dream match? We’re talking four of the most beloved (well, except for Pazzini), passionate, and most technically sound wrestlers in the company, pairing up and going at it. Nothing’s on the line here, except for pride, and even then, who the hell can be ashamed of coming up short against the other team here? This one’s getting all the highlight reels.
WINNERS: Pazzini/Briese
SPECIAL REFEREE- JO MCFARLANE: #4 Colleen vs. Eileen Amaro
Eileen comes in highly regarded, and before she even steps foot in that ring, she’s already gotten herself three monster matches- her debut with Jo in tag action, the First round of the Chase, and this one- against the reigning Evolution Champion. Even though Eileen’s been well talked of- until I see her in that ring, I can’t pick against a force like Colleen. The more interesting note is who is Jo going to side with- if anyone? Her new stablemate, or her tag partner?
WINNER: Colleen
#1 Kaitlynn Stryfe vs. #10 Crystal Hilton
Crystal’s got the biggest opportunity on the planet here- a chance to down the champion herself. But Kaitlynn’s been damned near unstoppable, and if the likes of Scarlett, Colleen, and Wendy can’t bring her down, I don’t see Crystal doing it either. But still, you never know if there’s going to be a surprise here. Personally, I hope she doesn’t... otherwise poor Wendy would NEVER hear the end of it.
WINNER: Kaitlynn Stryfe
As for Velocity and Breaking Point? Well, the best of the rest!
5.- #16 Sophie Richards vs. #28 Charlotte Gage
The last time these two ladies met, it was for the Television title, and it was a fantastic match that was ruined by the interference of Payton St. Pierre. This time, there’s no title, which hopefully means there’s no Payton- unless she tries to play mental games with Sophie. Both women need as much momentum as they can going into Sin & Sacrifice. I think the result will be the same as the last encounter- only clean.
WINNER: Richards
4.- Arabella de Rossi vs. Hanna Elliot
This one stems from Future Shock, when Arabella went completely psycho on poor Hanna, something that I think ultimately lead to poor Hanna’s elimination, as she just couldnt’ fend off Arabella’s onslaught. Well, Arabella ain’t done, and she’s offered Hanna $50,000 if Hanna could beat her. I hope Hanna hasn’t made plans with the money, because while she’s hot, and definitely has heart, the fact is, she’s a rookie with a history in apartment wrestling, and ill-prepared for the absolute viciousness of FFW- especially someone like Arabella. Maybe Hanna will improve with time, but that’s something she’s out of here.
WINNER: Arabella
3.- #15 Rori Snyder vs. #17 Emma McIntyre
Let’s be honest here. THe only reason Rori is this high is because she’s managed to cheat and get away with it. And the only reason Emma is this low is because she’s had a whopping one match since returning. Emma’s not Shane, and Emma is not going to fall prey to Rori’s tricks, whether or not Madi Knight or anyone else is beside that ring. This won’t be competitive, and the only reason it’s even ranked this high is that this is the ass-whipping we’ve wanted of Rori for the past four months.
WINNER: McIntyre
2.- TABLES MATCH: #3 Isabella Pazzini vs. #7 Robbyn Helmsley
This will come five days after that blockbuster tag match at Byte This, so Izzy and Robbie will already be quite familiar with each other by this point (not that they weren’t already familiar with... *ahem* “wrestling” each other). Still, there’s some old history here, and I think this is as close as you can get. But considering the luck Izzy’s had the past few weeks... I gotta go with the upset here.
WINNER: Helmsley
1.- EVOLUTION CHAMPIONSHIP- TRIPLE THREAT LADDER MATCH: #4 Colleen © vs. #6 Wendy Briese vs. #8 Tara Thunder
Apparently this little gem was Wolf Ramsey’s idea, which makes me both grateful and amused. Let’s be honest here- Colleen’s not a ladder match person. I’m not sure if Tara is or not, but I know Wendy can win these. Unless she’s facing a true-blue top tier talent, Colleen is unstoppable, and Tara has been a bat out of hell since she arrived. But this is likely Wendy’s last chance at the Evolution title if she fails here, and I know she’s not going to let it slip away again. Either way, expect a bonafide Free TV match of the year contender here.
WINNER: Briese
AWARDS!
Obviously, no Power X column is complete without a bit of awards to hand out, and this one is going to be no exception. Considering we heard from Rori Snyder the last time, I was hoping to get a bit of insight from Scarlett Kincaid, but unfortunately, with her dealing with her schedule, not to mention cleanup from Irene around her Condo, we’ll have to hit her up another time. So it’s another redhead, this week, one who gained a bit of notoriety at Breaking Point, as she became an unexpected edition of Samantha’s Newest enforcer gang... the A-LIST!
Of course, I’m speaking of Jo McFarlane. Take it away, JoJo!
Match of the Week(s)
Colleen vs Kaitlynn Stryfe
It’s been obvious to anyone with a brain that Colleen has been wanting - nay, needing - a break into the main event picture for quite some time. We all know she’s good enough for it. And this match, which rounded off Breaking Point, was nothing short of a clinic. And it was beautiful. Aside of Colleen not racking up the “W”.
I’m pretty sure that anything less than the “W” was going to leave Colleen fairly unsatisfied. Anyways, runners up!
- Katherine Stryfe vs. Stacey MacKenzie (I’m going on the first thirteen-fourteen minutes here, not the last six when Kat stalled to get the Time limit draw. Until she gave up hope though, it was a hell of a contest)
- Jo McFarlane vs. Kelly McGuffin (I joked earlier that this was like watching blind people flying airplanes with all the crashing and burning going on. Missed aerials aside however, this was the most heart I’d seen from Jo in a match, but Kelly still managed to outdo her, and pick up an amazing debut victory)
Winner of the Week(s)
Rose Jenkins
We ALL owe this woman a lot. Okay, so Cammie got involved and I’m not totally sure why - maybe to make herself feel better after losing to a nobody that didn’t so much as show up at an arena for two months - but the fact remains Rose Jenkins picked up the Win and we’re not rid of the curse that is the woman that won one match in her entire year and a bit stint here.
Ah, Jo definitely takes after her sister in terms of psychology and understanding of the wrestling business. Cammie got involved in this match to piss Rose off, and to amuse us. Going by the expression on Rosie’s face- goal one worked. Given that I spent the next twenty minutes laughing my ass off, goal two worked. Runners up!
- Kassandra (Without any major upsets, this was a hard category to pick for. But Kassi got the backsliding stopped, and even more importantly- she got into the second Chase for the Crown. She’ll have to beat her partner to get to the end, but right now, I can see Kassi as one of the favorites.
- Wendy Briese (Not really for beating Whitley- that was expected. But for her to get that second shot at the Evolution Title so quickly. She better make good on it this time!)
Loser of the Week(s)
Whitley Mercer
It’s a shame that she lost her Carpe Diem match. No, honestly. But it’s not like she blew a massive chance gold on the line or something. There wasn’t. Her match with Wendy was a great one, and management will have no doubt taken notice. Whit’s ready to go places, and with performances like that, it’ll be pretty damn soon!
I think its a bummer for Whitley that she came up short, but I kinda thought the answer on this one was fairly obvious. Runners up!
- Colleen (She had two decent excuses for the Camilla Pazzini matches. She didn’t have any for this one against Stryfe, other than the woman’s a champion who’s been on a tear. Colleen’s gonna break through sooner or later, but the later is definitely looking to be the more probably option at this point.)
- Michelle Taylor (Always a loser, but now a gone loser. Have fun dumpster diving. I know you’re good at it.)
- Isabella Pazzini (FFW Lesson #21: If you’re gonna take a swing at our boss, you got about 15-25 seconds to get out of there before the calvary shows up. Start running, don’t stand there waiting to be jumped. Considering how many times Izzy’s been on the OTHER end, you’d think she’d know that.)
Douchebag of the Week(s)
Emma McIntyre
Ya know, I was going to change the mane of this, since I try to avoid foul language where possible, until it was pointed out to me that in doing this, I’d be doing something similar to what Wendy Briese did a while ago, and while it’s nothing personal, it would be better for everyone if I didn’t look like a complete tool that has a compulsive need to change names of things.
Anyway, Emma McIntyre. It’s not personal, she just need to SHUT THE HELL UP! Seriously. Whenever she opens her mouth, she might as well just yell “I’m the freakin’ greatest” constantly without any real proof of it, and hasn’t had any since well...not in her most recent run in FFW anyway. But still. Ramble on my wayward kid, and hope like hell you win against Rori. Or there’s gonna be more of this.
Right... okay. Do I need to get your sister to play mediator here? Or does she dare with a child in her womb? Runners up.
- Katherine Stryfe (Y U GOTTA SANDBAG THE MATCH TO A DRAW!!!!!!!!)
- The A- List (It’s not so much that they jumped Isabella. She can consider that part of her penance for all I care, although it would have been more fitting if those who attacked her, y’know, had ACTUAL grievances against her. But that name...the A-List? What the hell kinda pretentious bullshit is this? There’s ONE main-event calibur talent in that group- Colleen. And I know Rosie’s VERY close, as would likely be Starla if she actually wrestled more than once every three months. But Payton and Jo? Right. How bout the 5B’s? Bald (even if she’s not anymore), Black, Bitchy, Bad, and Benign. I’ll let you figure out which one’s which.)
Anyways, thanks to Jo for the awards, and her.. erm... insight!
SOUND OFF!
Okay, so I figured since people are enjoying the awards stuff, I thought why not do another participation segment, instead of trying to predict a Future Shock, when not one damn person listens to me? So I bring to you SOUND OFF! Basically, it’s simple, I present a question, and anyone on the roster can give me an answer. Just DM it to my Twitter account.
This weeks question was: “Who is the most Overrated woman on the FFW Roster?” Unfortunately, given that I came up with the idea for this about like three hours ago, responses weren’t exactly the most quantitative.
I’ll give you guys some more time next time.
Anyways... SOUND OFF!
“@Pollaskinator The answer is @WendyBriese i kid i kid....” - Crystal Hilton (@FFWPerfection)
“Me.” - Gretchen Sanders (@Gretchen_89)
“I love the idea, but no one is really overrated here. I think everyone pretty much gets what they've earned.” - Wendy Briese (@Wendy_Briese)
“Most overrated: Crystal Hilton. She's got an ego bigger than the junk in Robbyn's trunk and barely an ounce of skill to back up her boasts.”- Kaitlynn Stryfe (@KaitlynnStryfe)
Well, thanks to those of you who did participate! Especially to Kaitlynn... juicy!
Anyways, that’s it for this week. See you all in a fortnight, when we stare at the finalized card for SIN AND SACRIFICE 2011!
Until that time... POLLA OUT!
Daniel Pollaski is an freelance wrestling columnist, and the manager of Wendy Briese. He also would like to agree with Megan Parker in that Tabatha Belmont is a ducking coward.
The Power X’s inspirational thought of the week:
Nobody on the road
nobody on the beach
I feel it in the air
the summer's out of reach
Empty lake, empty streets,
the sun goes down alone
I'm drivin' by your house
Though I know you're not home
I can see you
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun
You got your hair combed back and your
sunglasses on, baby
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
after the boys of summer have gone
- “The Boys of Summer” Don Henley
Hey kids!
I know, I know, its more the “Girls Of Summer” but, in all honesty, I don’t like the Aerosmith song, and, let’s be honest... Don Henley needs more love. I mean seriously, both as the Eagles and solo, the guy rocked.
But alas, Summer’s coming to an end, with the last hurrah of the season just around the corner (and, regretfully, the first time in six years that I will not be attending the Kittitas County Rodeo). Still, its nice to reflect on the summer that was, with the crowning of a new champion, the further domination of our owner, and Isabella Pazzini, well, stopping being a bitch.
But with Labor Day (and FFW’s new Byte This Internet PPV!) just around the corner coming up, and Sin & Sacrifice not far after that, there’s plenty to look forward to as we head into the autumnal season. It’s gonna be a fun September!
THE POWER X RANKINGS!
Thanks to the new, extended cards, the rankings have grown yet again, to a whopping forty-four wrestlers as EIGHT people make their debuts into the lists. Of course, that also means that we’re saying goodbye to four people, and some pretty big names to boot. They are-
VALERIE BELMONT (last ranking: 5th)- Val’s leg injury was bad enough, but that soon took on a more positive light as it was revealed that she was pregnant. So while infernal vampire spawn #2 gestates within her, she’ll be on leave of absence. Best of luck to ya, Val! If it’s a boy, name him Simon!
SAMANTHA STAR (16th)- Well, okay, Samantha’s not really gone, but nonetheless, she has been dropped from the rankings, due to her awesome beatdown of “Nina Astral” being a temporary thing. She’s still our president!
UNDINE (18th)- Undine announced her departure for SVW this week, and we here at FFW are sad to see her go. But SVW is lucky to get her, and yours truly is kinda scared of the prospect of having to face her. Still, best of luck to her!
AMY (20th)- Like Meredith, Amy departed for SVW, which normally wouldn’t be something worth caring about. But then Amy came in and plowed Luther Thunder, allowing Bryan Deas to get a victory, and put him in the steel cage with Alexander Stryfe!
As for the rest of ya’ll? Well, buckle up! It’s a long-ass way to the top!
#44- ANGEL KASH [NEW]
Well, you can chalk this one up to ‘hello and goodbye, thanks for coming’. After just one match, Angel has been released from FFW for her pathetic performance. And no one cared.
#43- LILAH CARTER [NEW]
Given how bad she stunk up the ring in her FFW debut against Kassandra, maybe we should start calling her Lilah Farter. Uh oh, that could be libel, and she could sue. Bah, she’d lose that too!
#42- KADENCE WESSON [NEW]
Now, this one actually surprised me. It took a long time for Kadence to make her official in ring debut, and while I wasn’t completely expecting her to beat Kara Harrington, I certainly figured she’d do better than... well, THAT. Looks like RawkerGirl has a long way to go.
#41- DESTINY LOVEHEART [-1]
Now finally we come to the familiar faces. And the worn-out spaces.. worn out spaces. Destiny Loveheart got out for her daily races, bu went nowhere, going nowhere, because Madison Knight kicked her ass all over this Mad World. And now I’m upset because I just wasted an awesome song reference on this bitch.
#40- CHARITY DEAS [-1]
But you know what? I find it kinda funny, and I find it kind of sad, that there was actually another Deas sibling out there, and she’s now joined her sister in FFW as well. Let’s just hope Allison is better than the previous Deas’ we’ve been subjected to.
#39- SYD ASHLEY [-1]
The dreams in which Simply Flawless is losing are the best I’ve ever had. Mainly because I’ve now gotten to the point where I cannot even comprehend the thought of either Faith or Syd Ashley ever winning a match.
#38- TRACI LOVEHEART [-1]
Wait, guys.. hang on! Traci wasn’t booked the last cycle. She isn’t booked for any of the upcoming shows either. If she’s off the card at Sin & Sacrifice, I’ll have no choice but to say goodbye to her. And what a shame would that be.
#37- MICHELLE TAYLOR [-1]
FINAL RANKING! Thanks to Rose Jenkins (with healthy, if unnecessary assists from yours truly and Chunks), Michelle Taylor has been fired and removed from the Femme Fatale Wrestling roster. And people say there is no justice in this world.
#36- BELLADONNA [Returning- Last ranked 28th on July 4]
Just a one-shot here it seems. Belladonna returned, Belladonna found out she still wasn’t good enough to compete in FFW anymore, and Belladonna left. And we wasted a main event. Oh well, can’t win ‘em all.
#35- FAITH [No Change]
Now that Simply Flawless is getting a match against the Deas sisters, maybe they can actually pull out a victory. Faith better think of something, because my Faith in Faith is about to soon be no more.
#34- SOPHIA BLACK [No Change]
Sophia’s sat on her haunches ever since she was embarassed in her ‘big’ return by Alyson Summers. Next up? A huge, albeit unattainable, opportunity, when she faces the Ultraviolence Champion.
#33- LUMINA FERRARI [No Change]
Well we were curious to see if Moxie’s departure would do anything for Lumina’s career. Well, on the bright side, it didn’t make it any worse (mainly because that’s kind of imposible at this point). But with a loss to PSP, it hasn’t made it any better either.
#32- MINDY SMTYH [No Change]
The Principal got bumpused in her wumpus by Tara Thunder, and flat out womanhandled. Still, she’s faced a fairly tough slate. Theoretically, that gets easier at the next Breaking Point, when she takes on the rookie Kelly McGuffin.
#31- MADISON KNIGHT [NEW]
Maddi finally made her long-awaited debut, and while it was definitely a victory for her, it was hardly an impressive one. Still, it seems to have gotten some people’s attention, as Heavensent and Hellbound get to go non-title against the Eternal Flame at Byte This next week. A win there... and we have our number one contenders!
#30- KASSANDRA [+1]
Kassandra got the win over a debuting Lilah Carter, to halt the unfortunate backslide the Danger Queens have been on. Still, it was obvious she was distracted during that match, with her friend Esteban in the hospital. Luckily, Kassi gets some time to regroup herself before Sin & Sacrifice- when she becomes the first person to compete in two chases for the crown!
#29- KARA HARRINGTON [NEW]
I know, this is a girl who has two seperate identities, Kara and Wendy, but considering there’s another, more awesome Wendy here now, expect “Kara” to be the name on here. Regardless of whatever personality she has, there’s little denying that she was damned good in her return match, dismantling Kadence Wesson. What’s next for this obviously unbalanced Fatale?
#28- CHARLOTTE GAGE [+2]
The last time Charlie was in singles action, she put on a brilliant effort against Sophie Richards, only to come up short. Well, now she’s back in action, against the exact same woman. A win here would skyrocket Charlie up the ladder in the very crowded television title picture.
#27- IGNIS [+1]
With her sister gone, it looked like Ignis could be in trouble, especially since she’s been sitting more or less dead in the water since her debut. That can all change this week, when she teams with Hayley against Jo and Eileen. The tag division is looking to start heating up, and the winner here will probably have a bit of a chance.
#26- CASEY ATHERTON [+1]
Speaking of tag teams, Casey suddenly finds herself on one- Team Adonis. And while I’m sure Casey’s thrilled at competing under her boy-toy Alex’s banner, the fact that his WIFE Starla is on the other end is probably a little bit of a killjoy. If those two can coexist against SmarterKnight and Summers, I’ll be amazed.
#25- WHITLEY MERCER [+1]
Whittlez came out swinging for this one, and good for her, it was a hell of an effort. But she did come up short against Wendy, the latest in a long line of disappointments for the girl. She’s going to turn the corner soon, but we’ve been hearing that for a while. Whitley needs to make something happen.
#24- JO MCFARLANE [-2]
Considering her only win came from a lucky miracle jump in a ladder match, Jo’s smacking of Isabella Pazzini is, to date, the high point of her career. And it will likely lead to the low point of her career when Isabella finally manages to get ahold of her. Good thing Izzy’s stopped using the bladed staff, right?
#23- REBBECCA VALENTINE [+2]
*FFW UNITY TAG CHAMPION*
Well, from the looks of things, the powers that be have completely given up on Rebbecca as a viable singles competitor, a conclusion I reached about two months ago. The only tiime this woman is ever stepping into the ring is as a member of the Eternal Flame. Luckily for Rebbecca, that next moment comes soon- at Byte this in a nontitle match.
#22- SHANE SANDERS [+2]
On a personal note, a big congratulations are in order to Ms. Sanders, as she has adopted a child into her family, Ben. Unfortunately, her professional life isn’t going quite as swimmingly. If Sanders isn’t booked at Sin & Sacrifice, I’ll unfortunately have little choice but to remove her.
Holy crap, halfway home!
#21- CRYSTAL HATE [+8]
I’m still not sure what to make of Crystal Hate, to be honest. She had a good performance in the ladder match, but ultimately came up short. And while she’s won all her singles matches so far... well, she hasn’t exactly faced the best of competeition. Next up, Crytal plays welcome wagon again, to Stephanie Sullivan. I don’t know much about the newcomer, other than she’s a really good technical wrestler, but I can say one thing safely- a loss here is going to set Crystal back significantly.
#20- HAYLEY DARK [+3]
I don’t think I need to tell anyone here that I’m certainly sold on the Boing Machine. But, like so many of the girls in Club CK, she deals with a very inconsistent schedule, so just as you think she might be getting some momentum, she disappears for a couple weeks. Well, Hayley’s back, and in a tag team again. One thing’s for certain- the likelihood of her being overshadowed and forgotten about by Ignis is slim to none.
#19- KELLY MCGUFFIN [NEW]
Kelly’s the highest first-timer in this week’s rankings, and it’s safe to say she earned it, with an absolutely breathtaking victory over Jo McFarlane- a Jo who had a ton of momentum coming out of Unstoppable. After such a big win, Mindy Smyth could be a classic letdown trapdoor opponent. Can this young rookie maintain focus?
#18- ALYSON SUMMERS [+3]
Aly’s only got a couple weeks left until she’s forced to give up her reigning Future Shock Champion status. In the meantime, this week she teams with Deven Knight, who managed to be the first eliminated in the current installment. Can Aly carry her team to victory... against Team Adonis, no less?
#17- EMMA MCINTYRE [+2]
Emma’s got her course charted for the next month or so, as she headlines the next Velocity, where we get to watch her absolutely kick Rori Snyder’s ass. Oh, yeah, and then she faces Colleen at Sin & Sacrifice. Truth be told- that could be a preview of a future late-round Femme For All match!
#16- SOPHIE RICHARDS [-1]
Sophie’s got her rubber match at Sin & Sacrifice, but before that point, she goes one on one with Chuckie Gage. But here’s the thing- when she steps into the ring at Breaking Point, it will have been over two months since she’s last competed. That’s a LOT of time to have elapsed, especially for a rookie. Sophie’s going to have a lot of ring-rust to shake off!
#15- RORI SNYDER [-1]
The clock is ticking on Rori, who FINALLY has to deal with competition that is not only talented, but has the foresight to see through her bullshit. Just keep Robbyn Helmsley in the back, so she doesn’t get in the way, please. But after Emma and Scarlett are through with her, expect Rori to be out of the top 20 (and hopefully FFW!) by October!
#14 PAYTON ST. PIERRE [+3]
*FFW TELEVISION CHAMPION*
I can’t stand her- there’s no doubt about that. But there’s also no doubt that Pay’s been seriously winning matches lately, the latest being a beautiful, clean stomping of Lumina Ferrari. From the looks of things, Payton doesn’t step into the ring again until Sin & Sacrifice. Will that be enough time to get ready for an obviously vengeful Sophie?
#13- STACEY MACKENZIE [Returning- Last ranked 6th on June 18th]
Stacey finally stepped back into the ring, and she ended up with a time-limit draw against Katherine Stryfe. An obvious disappointment for her, but one that’s not really her fault (read below to see what I mean!)
#12- CAMILLA PAZZINI [+1]
While it’ll take a while for Camilla to fully rebound from her shocking loss at Conviction (or at least until she can get the title back at Sin & Sacrifice), I think we can all admit that her punking of Rose Jenkins at Velocity, by even insinuating that she couldn’t handle Michelle Taylor by herself, was damned hillarious. What won’t be funny is what these two do to each other at Conviction, along with...
#11- RAVEN WICKED [No Change]
*FFW ULTRAVIOLENCE CHAMPION*
Given that Raven’s into the pain and misery stuff, she’s going to be a bit on the disappointed side come Velocity, given that Sophia Black’s anything but capable of committing those things. Oh well, she’ll have violence aplenty come Sin and Sacrifice.
#10- CRYSTAL HILTON [+2]
Crystal’s got the opportuntiy of a lifetime at Byte This, when she goes one on one with the Champion. Oh, yeah, and there’s a little something about two out of three falls against a certain redhead at Sin & Sacrifice. If there’s ever a time Crystal needs to be perfect... it’s now.
#9- ROSE JENKINS [No Change]
For the first time since her debut, Rose doesn’t move up in the rankings. But here’s some food for thought. Rose has wreaked a swath of destruction against NBA, Lumina, and now Michelle Taylor. Those were all on Samantha’s orders- Rose was just playing the hired muscle. At Sin & Sacrifice, Rose is actually doing something for herself. How scary is she gonna be THEN?
#8- TARA THUNDER [+2]
Tara took it to Mindy, and walked away with another strong showing and a win. Now, it’s time for her to cash in her chips, when she gets her Evolution Title shot. But it won’t just be her and Colleen in that ring- Wendy’s got her shot as well in the ladder match. What Tara thinks about that remains to be seen- does she welcome another opponent to beat on, or will she feel her toes are being stepped upon?
#7- ROBBYN HELMSLEY [+1]
Looks like I was mistaken. When Ms. Star that Robbyn had a match at Sin & Sacrifice that was a LONG time in the making, I naturally assumed it was against Isabella. Apparently not, because Robbyn goes one on one with HER the show before! Its put up or shut up time for Supergirl!
#6- WENDY BRIESE [+1]
The biggest task for Wendy right now is maintaining focus, as she suddenly finds herself with a very, very fulll plate. The Evolution Title. Two out of Three Falls. The subsequent Femme For All, and now Lucas Peek over in SVW. Wendy can come away from this looking like a monster, but she’s gotta take it one match at a time, starting with Byte This.
#5- KATHERINE STRYFE [+1]
*FFW UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION*
I was afraid that Katherine Stryfe was going to be named the #1 contender, considering that Colleen was named against Emma, Scarlett likely against Rori, Wendy against Crystal, and there’s no chance in hell that Isabella is going to be seeing that belt anytime soon. Oh well, even the best of companies end up with a so-so PPV Main Event once in a while. Luckily, the news is better received with Kat coming off a draw against Stacey instead of a loss. It was what Kat was hoping for, going by the last seven minutes of that match, which pretty much just saw Kat lying there. Obviously, she had realized that she wasn’t beating Stacey, and was just holding out until the bell rang. Mission accomplished. She deserves an award for that.
#4- COLLEEN [-1]
*FFW EVOLUTION CHAMPION*
Well, if it weren’t for her pulling Bitchy Colleen Move #281 before the match, I’d actually feel sorry for her. Once again, Colleen had a chance to break through, and once again, she blew it and came up short. At least she has her A-List sisters to keep her company, given that we all know how much Colleen loves being part of a group and all.
#3- ISABELLA PAZZINI [+1]
Well, Colleen had to move down, so Isabella moves back up. Starting to wonder here- is Isabella even going to be on the Sin & Sacrifice card? Seven matches have already been announced, and we’re just a couple weeks from finalization. A PPV without the Meanie Pazzini is unthinkable, but with her on the outs with our illustrious owner...
#2- SCARLETT KINCAID [No Change]
Scarlett’s gonna be at Byte this, but its obvious that everyone is counting down the days until she meets Rori Snyder, and finally shreds the fuck out of her. Still, we all long longingly at the main event slot, which will be devoid of Scarlett’s name for the first time in half a year, with a big of longing.
#1- KAITLYNN STRYFE [No Change]
*FFW CHAMPION*
The Kitty train just keeps on rolling, and slowing it down seems to be damn near impossible, much less derailing it. With Crystal HIlton next, and Katherine Stryfe after, that undefeated streak could be going well until after the leaves change. Here’s one thing- the person who brings Kitty down will have definitely earned it.
Whoo! That mountain gets bigger and bigger! Any bigger, and we’ll be back to the Power Fifty!
INCOMING!
So now we look to the future. Plenty of matches (like, sixteen of them) in the next couple of weeks, beginning with Velocity on Thursday, the special Byte this PPV on the fifth, and the go home Breaking Point on the tenth.
First of all, Byte This. As is customary with all PPVs, I’ll give a full card rundown. Now, at $10, Byte This isn’t exactly your traditional FFW Pay-per-view. THere’s only four matches, and none of them have direct title implications (although i think its safe to say that anyone who beats a champion here is throwing themselves right onto the contender shortlist). We are, however, getting four OUTSTANDING exhibitions, to be fought outside in beautiful Central Park, New York!
Oh yeah, did I mention the whole thing is for a good cause- the Susan B. Komen Foundation for Breast Cancer research? I mean, talk about your win-win propositions! So order this bad boy! Or shell out a couple more bucks, come to the Park, and watch us Live! Unless you’re in Ellensburg, Washington for the rodeo, there’s NOTHING else that’s better to do on Labor Day!
TAG: The Eternal Flame (#5 Katherine Stryfe & #23 Rebbecca Valentine) vs. Heavensent & Hellbound (#15 Rori Snyder & #31 Madison Knight)
Yeah, I know I’m not sold on the Eternal Flame being the best team in the company, and I enjoy laughing at Katherine Stryfe when she loses, but let’s be honest here... they’re not THIS bad. Rori Snyder is a talentless hack who had to cheat her way into the midcard, and Madison Knight is the DUMBER member of the Knight family. If TEF drops THIS one, I’m laughing all the way to the bank. Then probably crying, because that just meant Heavensent & Hellbound might have just become the #1 contenders)
WINNERS: The Eternal Flame
TAG: Fire & Fury (#2 Scarlett Kincaid & #7 Robbyn Helmsley) vs. #3 Isabella Pazzini & #6 Wendy Briese
Third billing? Are you kidding me? This dream match? We’re talking four of the most beloved (well, except for Pazzini), passionate, and most technically sound wrestlers in the company, pairing up and going at it. Nothing’s on the line here, except for pride, and even then, who the hell can be ashamed of coming up short against the other team here? This one’s getting all the highlight reels.
WINNERS: Pazzini/Briese
SPECIAL REFEREE- JO MCFARLANE: #4 Colleen vs. Eileen Amaro
Eileen comes in highly regarded, and before she even steps foot in that ring, she’s already gotten herself three monster matches- her debut with Jo in tag action, the First round of the Chase, and this one- against the reigning Evolution Champion. Even though Eileen’s been well talked of- until I see her in that ring, I can’t pick against a force like Colleen. The more interesting note is who is Jo going to side with- if anyone? Her new stablemate, or her tag partner?
WINNER: Colleen
#1 Kaitlynn Stryfe vs. #10 Crystal Hilton
Crystal’s got the biggest opportunity on the planet here- a chance to down the champion herself. But Kaitlynn’s been damned near unstoppable, and if the likes of Scarlett, Colleen, and Wendy can’t bring her down, I don’t see Crystal doing it either. But still, you never know if there’s going to be a surprise here. Personally, I hope she doesn’t... otherwise poor Wendy would NEVER hear the end of it.
WINNER: Kaitlynn Stryfe
As for Velocity and Breaking Point? Well, the best of the rest!
5.- #16 Sophie Richards vs. #28 Charlotte Gage
The last time these two ladies met, it was for the Television title, and it was a fantastic match that was ruined by the interference of Payton St. Pierre. This time, there’s no title, which hopefully means there’s no Payton- unless she tries to play mental games with Sophie. Both women need as much momentum as they can going into Sin & Sacrifice. I think the result will be the same as the last encounter- only clean.
WINNER: Richards
4.- Arabella de Rossi vs. Hanna Elliot
This one stems from Future Shock, when Arabella went completely psycho on poor Hanna, something that I think ultimately lead to poor Hanna’s elimination, as she just couldnt’ fend off Arabella’s onslaught. Well, Arabella ain’t done, and she’s offered Hanna $50,000 if Hanna could beat her. I hope Hanna hasn’t made plans with the money, because while she’s hot, and definitely has heart, the fact is, she’s a rookie with a history in apartment wrestling, and ill-prepared for the absolute viciousness of FFW- especially someone like Arabella. Maybe Hanna will improve with time, but that’s something she’s out of here.
WINNER: Arabella
3.- #15 Rori Snyder vs. #17 Emma McIntyre
Let’s be honest here. THe only reason Rori is this high is because she’s managed to cheat and get away with it. And the only reason Emma is this low is because she’s had a whopping one match since returning. Emma’s not Shane, and Emma is not going to fall prey to Rori’s tricks, whether or not Madi Knight or anyone else is beside that ring. This won’t be competitive, and the only reason it’s even ranked this high is that this is the ass-whipping we’ve wanted of Rori for the past four months.
WINNER: McIntyre
2.- TABLES MATCH: #3 Isabella Pazzini vs. #7 Robbyn Helmsley
This will come five days after that blockbuster tag match at Byte This, so Izzy and Robbie will already be quite familiar with each other by this point (not that they weren’t already familiar with... *ahem* “wrestling” each other). Still, there’s some old history here, and I think this is as close as you can get. But considering the luck Izzy’s had the past few weeks... I gotta go with the upset here.
WINNER: Helmsley
1.- EVOLUTION CHAMPIONSHIP- TRIPLE THREAT LADDER MATCH: #4 Colleen © vs. #6 Wendy Briese vs. #8 Tara Thunder
Apparently this little gem was Wolf Ramsey’s idea, which makes me both grateful and amused. Let’s be honest here- Colleen’s not a ladder match person. I’m not sure if Tara is or not, but I know Wendy can win these. Unless she’s facing a true-blue top tier talent, Colleen is unstoppable, and Tara has been a bat out of hell since she arrived. But this is likely Wendy’s last chance at the Evolution title if she fails here, and I know she’s not going to let it slip away again. Either way, expect a bonafide Free TV match of the year contender here.
WINNER: Briese
AWARDS!
Obviously, no Power X column is complete without a bit of awards to hand out, and this one is going to be no exception. Considering we heard from Rori Snyder the last time, I was hoping to get a bit of insight from Scarlett Kincaid, but unfortunately, with her dealing with her schedule, not to mention cleanup from Irene around her Condo, we’ll have to hit her up another time. So it’s another redhead, this week, one who gained a bit of notoriety at Breaking Point, as she became an unexpected edition of Samantha’s Newest enforcer gang... the A-LIST!
Of course, I’m speaking of Jo McFarlane. Take it away, JoJo!
Match of the Week(s)
Colleen vs Kaitlynn Stryfe
It’s been obvious to anyone with a brain that Colleen has been wanting - nay, needing - a break into the main event picture for quite some time. We all know she’s good enough for it. And this match, which rounded off Breaking Point, was nothing short of a clinic. And it was beautiful. Aside of Colleen not racking up the “W”.
I’m pretty sure that anything less than the “W” was going to leave Colleen fairly unsatisfied. Anyways, runners up!
- Katherine Stryfe vs. Stacey MacKenzie (I’m going on the first thirteen-fourteen minutes here, not the last six when Kat stalled to get the Time limit draw. Until she gave up hope though, it was a hell of a contest)
- Jo McFarlane vs. Kelly McGuffin (I joked earlier that this was like watching blind people flying airplanes with all the crashing and burning going on. Missed aerials aside however, this was the most heart I’d seen from Jo in a match, but Kelly still managed to outdo her, and pick up an amazing debut victory)
Winner of the Week(s)
Rose Jenkins
We ALL owe this woman a lot. Okay, so Cammie got involved and I’m not totally sure why - maybe to make herself feel better after losing to a nobody that didn’t so much as show up at an arena for two months - but the fact remains Rose Jenkins picked up the Win and we’re not rid of the curse that is the woman that won one match in her entire year and a bit stint here.
Ah, Jo definitely takes after her sister in terms of psychology and understanding of the wrestling business. Cammie got involved in this match to piss Rose off, and to amuse us. Going by the expression on Rosie’s face- goal one worked. Given that I spent the next twenty minutes laughing my ass off, goal two worked. Runners up!
- Kassandra (Without any major upsets, this was a hard category to pick for. But Kassi got the backsliding stopped, and even more importantly- she got into the second Chase for the Crown. She’ll have to beat her partner to get to the end, but right now, I can see Kassi as one of the favorites.
- Wendy Briese (Not really for beating Whitley- that was expected. But for her to get that second shot at the Evolution Title so quickly. She better make good on it this time!)
Loser of the Week(s)
Whitley Mercer
It’s a shame that she lost her Carpe Diem match. No, honestly. But it’s not like she blew a massive chance gold on the line or something. There wasn’t. Her match with Wendy was a great one, and management will have no doubt taken notice. Whit’s ready to go places, and with performances like that, it’ll be pretty damn soon!
I think its a bummer for Whitley that she came up short, but I kinda thought the answer on this one was fairly obvious. Runners up!
- Colleen (She had two decent excuses for the Camilla Pazzini matches. She didn’t have any for this one against Stryfe, other than the woman’s a champion who’s been on a tear. Colleen’s gonna break through sooner or later, but the later is definitely looking to be the more probably option at this point.)
- Michelle Taylor (Always a loser, but now a gone loser. Have fun dumpster diving. I know you’re good at it.)
- Isabella Pazzini (FFW Lesson #21: If you’re gonna take a swing at our boss, you got about 15-25 seconds to get out of there before the calvary shows up. Start running, don’t stand there waiting to be jumped. Considering how many times Izzy’s been on the OTHER end, you’d think she’d know that.)
Douchebag of the Week(s)
Emma McIntyre
Ya know, I was going to change the mane of this, since I try to avoid foul language where possible, until it was pointed out to me that in doing this, I’d be doing something similar to what Wendy Briese did a while ago, and while it’s nothing personal, it would be better for everyone if I didn’t look like a complete tool that has a compulsive need to change names of things.
Anyway, Emma McIntyre. It’s not personal, she just need to SHUT THE HELL UP! Seriously. Whenever she opens her mouth, she might as well just yell “I’m the freakin’ greatest” constantly without any real proof of it, and hasn’t had any since well...not in her most recent run in FFW anyway. But still. Ramble on my wayward kid, and hope like hell you win against Rori. Or there’s gonna be more of this.
Right... okay. Do I need to get your sister to play mediator here? Or does she dare with a child in her womb? Runners up.
- Katherine Stryfe (Y U GOTTA SANDBAG THE MATCH TO A DRAW!!!!!!!!)
- The A- List (It’s not so much that they jumped Isabella. She can consider that part of her penance for all I care, although it would have been more fitting if those who attacked her, y’know, had ACTUAL grievances against her. But that name...the A-List? What the hell kinda pretentious bullshit is this? There’s ONE main-event calibur talent in that group- Colleen. And I know Rosie’s VERY close, as would likely be Starla if she actually wrestled more than once every three months. But Payton and Jo? Right. How bout the 5B’s? Bald (even if she’s not anymore), Black, Bitchy, Bad, and Benign. I’ll let you figure out which one’s which.)
Anyways, thanks to Jo for the awards, and her.. erm... insight!
SOUND OFF!
Okay, so I figured since people are enjoying the awards stuff, I thought why not do another participation segment, instead of trying to predict a Future Shock, when not one damn person listens to me? So I bring to you SOUND OFF! Basically, it’s simple, I present a question, and anyone on the roster can give me an answer. Just DM it to my Twitter account.
This weeks question was: “Who is the most Overrated woman on the FFW Roster?” Unfortunately, given that I came up with the idea for this about like three hours ago, responses weren’t exactly the most quantitative.
I’ll give you guys some more time next time.
Anyways... SOUND OFF!
“@Pollaskinator The answer is @WendyBriese i kid i kid....” - Crystal Hilton (@FFWPerfection)
“Me.” - Gretchen Sanders (@Gretchen_89)
“I love the idea, but no one is really overrated here. I think everyone pretty much gets what they've earned.” - Wendy Briese (@Wendy_Briese)
“Most overrated: Crystal Hilton. She's got an ego bigger than the junk in Robbyn's trunk and barely an ounce of skill to back up her boasts.”- Kaitlynn Stryfe (@KaitlynnStryfe)
Well, thanks to those of you who did participate! Especially to Kaitlynn... juicy!
Anyways, that’s it for this week. See you all in a fortnight, when we stare at the finalized card for SIN AND SACRIFICE 2011!
Until that time... POLLA OUT!
Daniel Pollaski is an freelance wrestling columnist, and the manager of Wendy Briese. He also would like to agree with Megan Parker in that Tabatha Belmont is a ducking coward.
