Polla To The People #4- February 2, 2010

Hey kids

Well, all this traveling is starting to catch up with me. I mean, last week, I flew from Spokane to Minneapolis, Minneapolis to Chicago, drove from Chicago to Indianapolis, hung out for a few days with my friends Terrence and Wendy, then drove to Florida for the Scrambled Dreams pay per view (I was there, even if you didnt see me). Then I flew to Atlanta, then to Chicago, then to Minneapolis, then to Spokane, and finally drove the three and a half hours to my cozy little valley.

Needless to say, I coulda slept for about a week after a trip like that.

No dice.

Yesterday morning, Mr. Wolfington called screaming about my expense reports. Apparently, the WWA, the greatest wrestling alliance in the world, is too cheap to pay for the following necessities.

1. A red 2010 camaro rental. Im the official columnist dammit! I deserve a little style!

2. Bail money for an idiot rookie who wanted me to bail him out of jail because, by his logic, the fact that his mentor had the hots for one of my wrestlers, we should be best buddies or something. And I WILL be cashing in my chips for this favor soon. Believe me.

3. Premium gasoline. Yeah, cause you put regular in a Camaro.

4. 7 rooms at 3-5 star hotels. With all due respect to Mr. Wolfington, you think he stays in Motel 6s when he travels?

5. Two all day passes at Disneyworld. Well, I was BORED! What was I supposed to do, watch a Frank Dylan James promo?

Ah, well, I suppose Mr. Wolfington is probably under a lot of stress. I mean Team Lameger still has the tag titles, and now Cobra commands the world title. That cant leave the boss feeling to good.

Needless to say, however, I think Im doing this column for free. So you better damn well enjoy it.

Its Power 50 time... how could you not?

Lots of changes in the rankings this time, with one fed leaving, and two more coming in. That means 14 wrestlers have unfortunately ceded their spots to someone whos just better than them. Sorry kids, this isnt for self esteem.

Once again the eligibility rules.

1. Wrestlers in the previous Power 50 that have competed in a WWA sanctioned event within the last 28 days.
2. Wrestlers not in the previous Power 50 who competed in a WWA sanctioned event within the last 14 days.
3. Any exception I fucking choose to make. You dont like it, go watch seven goddamned wrestling shows a week and make your own rankings.

And of course rankings are entirely my opinion, based on match results, opponent quality, and overall heat.

Okay, a WHOPPING 145 wrestlers were eligible for power 50 goodness. About 70 of them, including any WMW competitor whos last name rhymes with "kite", werent even considered. Some were, but just couldnt make the, cut. A hint to some wrestlers who would have otherwise made he cut- throwing matches does not win any points whatsoever in my book.

Anyways, for those who just fell short... its the Power Fif-DENIED!

MOSÉ MAURAKO (HOW)
DAVID BLACK (HOW)
JOHNNY LIGHTNING (DEF)
JARED BROCHARD (DREAM)
PSYMON (DREAM)
MIKE POLOWY (DREAM/HOW)
BISHOP STEELE (DREAM)
MATTEO MAURAKO (HOW)
GRIFFON FAZE (HOW)
BOBBY DEAN (HOW)
JORDAN KEYSER (WMW)
GRAS-DAWG (WMW)
ANGEL SCOTT (MVW)
ANGEL CASEY (MVW)
XTREME DREAM (PWX)
DEVON POOLE (PWX)
DARIN ZION (PWX)
THE MASKED DOLLAR (DREAM)
AWS MAN (WMW)
JILL-BERG (MVW)
GRAYSON WILLIS (PWX)
RYAN FAZE (HOW)
NATHAN PARADINE (DREAM)

Sorry kids, not this week. Keep at it, though, youll fight your way on. And if youre nice to me, i might even send you a valentine.

Alright, now that ive taken care of the rest... its time for the best.

As my homeboys Earth, Wind, and Fire used to say... LETS GROOVE!

50. CORINA ROMANOV (MVW/Not Ranked)- This Russian tamale has been heating up rings over in the Valley. Especially in that awesome win in the four way.

49. JIMMY KORT (DEF/-1)- Im gonna guess he was drunk against Cavanaugh, but that win over Drago scores volumes with Drago winning caged hell.

48. NICK RIVERS (AW/Not Ranked)- If I have to guess, the Rivers/Donovan tag team is my favorite to win the gold rush.

47. JOHN KELLERMAN (AW/Not Ranked)- Well, its nice to see SOMEONE standing up for the good old USA. Shame he has to now deal with Chris Cannons lunacy.

46. JACKIE DANIELS (MVW/Not Ranked) *MVW TAG TEAMk CHAMPION*- Sweet Southern Comfort looked pretty damn sweet in helping McGill knock off the Angels for tag straps

45. CASEY PIERRO-ZABOTEL (DREAM/+1)- Just ran out of luck against Blackwell in the TV title tournament, but a nice win over Klash at Scrambled Dreams.

44. CHRIS BLADEZ (DREAM/-15) Seriously... you lost to Jimmy fuckin Ryley? How much did that cost you in your office pool? On a side note, a phenomenal match with Psymon at the ppv, but he just came up short

43. JIMMY RYLEY (DREAM/-6)- You know, I was actually sad when he lost to Muru in the TV tournament. Mainly because he was still breathing when the refs hand hit three.

42. KIRSTA LEWIS (HOW/-3)- Phenomenal punking of Denucci, but she came up just short against Sparrow. She can still advance in the invitational, but she needs a big win.

41. TERRY SPRUHEN (DREAM/+7) *DREAM TAG TEAM CHAMPION*- Its a shame I didnt quite have room for Jared on here as well, because the Gradys pulled off a phenomenal coup by beating the Bandits. Now if they could actually get the physical belts back.

40. CHRISTOPHER AMERICA (HOW/Not Ranked) *HOW HOFC CHAMPION*- He replaces David Black as the HOW's resident Power 50 nutbasket. Great win over DeNucci at HOFC, as well.

39. C.R.I.P (AW/Not Ranked)- Lets face it, this Mid South Syndicate standout trying to get along with Adrien "pasty whiteboy" Cochrane might be the highlight of the gold rush. He came up just short in the Caged Hell match, but that was good enough to get him on here.

38. RYVEN (WMW/-10) *WMW TAG TEAM CHAMPION*- His slump seems to be continuing, but his team got a big win over That Damn Awesome last friday.

37. TIM SHIPLEY (HOW/-17)- Took a tough loss to McGill for the LSD title, and hasnt been seen since. Im confident hell rebound.

36. MURU (DREAM/+14)- Wow! This DREAM newcomer has throttled his way through the TV tournament brackets. If he can avoid Blackwells roll-up, the title could just be his.

35. KAZUMA FUJITA (DEF/Not Ranked)- I think the Defiance ring crew is still looking for Sam Skull's skull after Fujita decapitated him with a nasty clothesline last week.

34. ANGEL OF DEATH (AW/-9)- Phenomenal effort against Ronnie Long, but he just came up short.

33. JOHN PARIAH (PWX/Not Ranked)- You gotta admit... it takes some chutzpah to win a grudge match by countout after having your buddies attack your opponents girlfriend.

32. FATHER NATHAN (WMW/+8)- Ok, last week, I made fun of Father Nathan for trying to take on the Daughters of Darkness by himself. Whadya know... hes 2 for 2! Now can he get himself some championship gold?

31. UMBRAGE (WMW/+2)- Even with the setback suffered by TDA last week, he and Valora look to net themselves some tag gold at Groundhog Slay.

30. DRUSCILLA (WMW/±0) *WMW ACE SUPERIOR CHAMPION*- This British Bitch and her title seem to be next on Father Nathans hit list. Her nice romp over the Knight family should have provided a decent warmup.

29. RONNIE LONG (AW/Not Ranked) *AW ATLANTIC COAST CHAMPION*- Wow... Im not advocating he does it, but I deserve a thwacking with his shovel for overlooking him two weeks ago.

28. DAWN MCGILL (MVW/Not Ranked) *MVW TAG TEAM CHAMPION*; *HOW LSD CHAMPION*- Miss McGill (soon to be Mrs. Generalissimo) took a week off after grabbing some spiffy new belts. Now can she advance in the invitational?

27. HECATE (WMW/-4) *WMW HEARTLANDS CHAMPION*- I know there are no guarantees in wrestling... but Hecate retaining at Groundhog Slay is as close as you can get.

26. ADRIEN COCHRANE (AW-DREAM/-13)- Apparently Awful Waffles are bad luck if anything else. Cochrane watched Bishop Steele swipe his spot in the TV tournament, then came up short defending his home turf in Caged Hell. At least he advanced in the Gold Rush.

Thats 25 down, which means halfway there. So...


INTERMISSION!

Lets all go to the lobby
Lets all go to the lobby
Lets all go to the lobby
And have oursleves a snack!

Its a shame im too lazy to provide a dancing movie concession snack .gif for this.

By the way... you might wanna try the bathroom too. Weve a long way to go, and I am NOT stopping this thing again until we get there!

There... everyone ready? Dont whine to me if nature calls and were only on #17. Okay... but youre holding it.

Sorry, that was more random than a Dragon Jones promo.

Go ahead, pop. We know you loved Deej. Its okay.

Now... where was I? Oh yeah...

TOP 25 TIME!

25. VALERIE BELMONT (PWX/Not Ranked) *PWX NEW GENERATION CHAMPION*- This young lady has made quite the splash over there in Indiana, and she might just be picking up some tag gold with her hubby.

24. CHRIS CANNON (AW/-2)- He was #22 again, but lost two spots as a penalty for flag burning. Not cool, dude!

23. JAKE DONOVAN (AW/+9)- This impressive young rookie continues to make his way up the rankings. As i said before, he and Rivers stand the best chance at winning the Gold Rush

22. STEPHEN GREER (DEF/+12) *WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPION*- Wow! For a moment Greer forgot he was a member of Team Danger, and thus too cool to actually wrestle a good match. Unfortunately for Kongo, that was the moment Greer's lariat collided with his skull.

21. GRAYSTONE (HOW/-3)- Well, Mr. Graystone sure has had a rough two weeks. He gets a pass on the four second loss to Cobra, given that Cobra pretty much jumped the poor bastard from behind


20. SCOTTYWOOD (HOW/+1) *HOW TAG TEAM CHAMPION*- Now THAT, boys and girls, is how you throw a temper tantrum.

19. JEREMIAH BELMONT (PWX)- Took a week off after turning Wild into the amazing human comet. This guy lights up the ring everytime he competes... literally!

18. KRONIN (WMW/-2) *WMW TAG TEAM CHAMPION*- Unfortunately took the loss in Caged Hell, he can rebound big by defending against That Damn Awesome.

17. DOOZER (DREAM/-5)- Poor Dooze is on a three match losing streak now after falling to Cancer Jiles. At least their friendship seemed to have survived intact.

16. JADE (WMW/-2) *WMW SHOOT CHAMPION*- Jade can finally put her issues with Amariie to rest at Groundhog Slay.

15. CHARLIE BLACKWELL (DREAM/+4)- I dont think I've ever been so excited watching a guy who practically uses the schoolboy rollup as his finisher compete before! Wait.. that came out totally wrong...

14. JOSIAS SOLAINE (DEF/+3)- Its a shame Solaine ended up in the same tournament block as Cobra and Vasquez. Had he been in block B, hed be in the thick of things.

13. D.R. KONGO (DEF/-3)- Shockingly, with his stunning loss to Greer, Kongo is the only man eliminated from the B block of the champions carnival.

12. TYLER GRAVES (PWX/Not Ranked)- Its obvious that Graves is a phenomenal in ring competitor. Unfortunately, thanks to the Heirarchy, hes a bit outnumbered.

11. JOE DRAGO (DEF/+13)- What a huge win in the Caged Hell match! Drago has just rocketed up many a WWAers watch list. Now he needs to focus on advancing in the carnival.

Alright... Top 10... here we go!

10. VALORA SALINAS (WMW/+1) *WMW GREAT LAKES CHAMPION*- Valora doesnt seem to be quite satisfied.with the top singles belt in Ohio... she wants to add another pair with Umbrage.

9. BRONSON BOX (DEF/-1)- The handlebarred scotsman controls his own destiny in the Champions Carnival... but can he take it. Lost one spot for subjecting the world to more Evan Hurley. We dont need anymore insanity in our lives.

8. BRIAN HOLLYWOOD (PWX/Not Ranked) *PWX CHAMPION*- Took the PWX title from Brad Jackson in a phenomenal match. Now, can he fend off the coming onslaught of Darin Zion?

7. SIMON SPARROW (HOW/+2)- Sparrows gotta be walking on sunshine after Turmoil this week. Hes in charge, and trying to do his best to bring down Aceldama. Lets see if Ace acquiesces.

6. JACK AMETHYST (AW/-5)- Heartbreak for Amethyst (well, if he had a heart) losing his belt on a referee stoppage. Still, to his credit, he didnt tap, even as Cobra tore his arm up. But with his arm now practically shredded, can his career recover?

5. ACELDAMA (HOW/±0) *HOW CHAMPION*- Aceldama had a good two weeks, knocking out FDJ and retaining his title over Griffon Faze. But now hes on Sparrows hit list, and Sparrow has some power!

4. MAX KAEL (HOW/-1) *HOW ICON CHAMPION*;*HOW INTERNET CHAMPION*- Jimmy Kort should take notes...THATS how you level Kirsta Lewis with a foreign object. Oh, and what does the grand emporer of HOW exactly do?

3. AARON VASQUEZ (DEF/+1)- As soon as I finish this column, Im going to start on my new side project- completing a Vasquez-to-English dictionary. Consider it a public service.

2. CANCER JILES (DREAM/+4) *DREAM YOU CALL IT CHAMPION*; *HOW TAG CHAMPION*- Megaprops to Jiles win over Doozer, but I gotta take him to task here. Vacating the top belt in the Florida region, especially with the tag belts highjacked by Defiance, all in the name of "friendship", is a foolish move. If Doozer was truly a friend, hed know he lost and accept Jiles as the true champion. In my opinion, Jiles actions have put the credibility and stability of DREAM in jeopardy.

1. COBRA (DEF/+1) *WORLD CHAMPION*- The new king. Nuff said.

Whew! We made it!

So, where.do we go from here? I know where Ill be! This weekend, Im heading back to Indianapolis for a wild, wild Super Bowl party as we watch the Colts kick Nawlinz' ass out the door!

Course, I wont get to brag too much, because after that, Im heading straight into Defiance country. Thats right, kids. Im going to brave tbe inner dealings of the douchebags that run Defiance for a chance to watch the end of the first stage of the champions carnival.

Now, block A is wrapped up. Vasquez and Cobra are moving on. Those two face off this week, though, and while seeding in the next round is on the line... you gotta think that a Vasquez win will cement him as a legit contender.

Block B is way more interesting. Bronson Box and Jimmy Kort lead, each with four points, but Joe Drago and DR Kongo have 3, with Greer bringing up the rear with two.

Here are the scenarios

BRONSON BOX (4pts).
Faces Joe Drago
Win: Advances with 6 points
Draw: Advances with 5 points
Loss: If Kort beats Greer, eliminated. If Greer vs. Kort ends in a draw, eliminated. If Greer beats Kort, faces Greer and Kort in a 3-way match, winner advancing.

JIMMY KORT (4pts)
Vs. Stephen Greer
WIN: Advance with 6 pts
DRAW: Advance with 5 pts
LOSS: If Box beats Drago, faces Greer in playoff. If Drago beats Box, faces Greer and Box in playoff. If Box and Drago draw, faces Greer and Drago in playoff.

JOE DRAGO (3 pts)
Vs. Bronson Box
WIN: Advances with 5 pts
DRAW: If Kort beats Greer, eliminated. If Greer beats Kort, faces Greer and Kort in playoff. If Greer and Kort draw, eliminated.
LOSS: Eliminated

DR KONGO (3pts)
Bye
Kongo is mathematically eliminated from advancing. Bummer.

STEPHEN GREER (2 pts)
Vs. Jimmy Kort
WIN: If Box beats Drago, faces Kort in playoff. If Drago beats Box, faces Kort and Box in playoff. If Drago and Box draw, faces Kort and Drago in playoff.
DRAW: Eliminated
LOSS: Eliminated.

Like i always say, its worth a look if you can stand Dane and Skaalands irritating warbles.


So after Defiance, its off to Las Vegas for the tag wars on February 13, which Im proud to announce that I will be one of the broadcasters on the show! Well be getting a full preview of this great event next week.

Alright. Im tired of typing... guess what that means?

AWARDS TIME!

MATCH OF THE WEEK
Adrien Cochrane vs. C.R.I.P vs. Dawn McGill vs. Joe Drago vs. Kronin vs. Ryan Faze

I mean, was there any doubt about this? The first major interfed mashup of the new WWA, and everybody came to represent their home regions. Congrats to all on such a wonderful show!

WINNER OF THE WEEK
Cobra

I tried to find a way around it. I mean, hes world champion. Hes #1 in the power fifty. He just beat a HOW icon on his own turf in four seconds flat. But there just isnt anyone else who changed the course of WWA history this week. At least not as much as Cobra did.

LOSER OF THE WEEK
Anthony Palladino

In case you didnt catch the end of the Gold Rush, the Mid-South Syndicate had cornered poor Mr. Palladino in his office. As soon as I finish this column, Im off to have dinner, so Id rather not get into what the MSS did. Lets just say Im glad the feed cut out.

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK
Zortalk

Seriously, Zortalk back in the WWA? Well, at least he made a cameo at the Gold Rush. So why does he win the Douchebag of the week award? For bringing Barely Legal Paralegals... AND GIVING THEM TO CHRIS CANNON! Can anyone else think of a less deserving guy for hot chicks than the so-called president of Cannonadia? Well, maybe Jimmy Ryley... but he probably wouldnt want them, if ya catch my drift


And finally... our special award for the week.

THE WAIT.... WHAT? AWARD

Okay kids, its history lesson time.

Lets take a look back through my notebook at the kind of month one Damien Knight of Wrestling Midwest has had.

1.7.10- loses to Hecate in a 3-way match for the Heartlands championship
1.14.10- loses to Amariie Maerthos
1.21.10- loses to Hecate in a match where her Spartan kick is banned
1.28.10- loses to Druscilla in a 3 on 1 handicapped elimination match. Damien was on the side with 3 people
2.4.10- faces Hecate for the Heartlands Championship

Wait... WHAT?

Thats right, kids. Damien Knight, despite losing every single match in the month of January, has received a title shot. Against a woman whos beaten him twice. Including in a match in which her finisher was banned. Right after losing as the dominant team in a 3 on 1.

And you thought Johnny Lightning got rewarded for sucking.

Okay, well that does it for this week kids. Look for another column to drop February 9th, complete with a tag wars preview, then another Power 50 hits February 16th!

Until then... POLLA.... OUT!




Daniel Pollaski is the former manager of the WhirlyBirdz Vehicular Hit Squad, and is the official columnist of the World Wrestling Alliance. He is also the one whos been sending Hecate love letters and presents.

Nah, on second thought, he probably shouldnt joke about that. She looks like she could kill him.