POWER X-IVER5ARY: The 20 Worst Wrestlers in FFW History

The Power X Inspirational Thought of the Day

Yummy, yummy, yummy

I got love in my tummy and I feel like a-lovin' you

Love, you're such a sweet thing, good enough to eat thing

And it's just a-what I'm gonna do

Ooh love to hold ya, ooh love to kiss ya

Ooh love I love it so, oh love you're sweeter

Sweeter than sugar

Ooh love, I won't let you go

Yummy, yummy, yummy

I got love in my tummy and as silly as it may seem

The lovin' that you're giving is what keeps me livin'

And your love is like peaches and cream

-          Yummy Yummy Yummy (I Got Love In My Tummy) by The Ohio Express

Twenty years ago, a humor columnist by the name of Dave Barry ran a poll to determine the worst song that had ever existed.  Now, keeping in mind that this was well before the world was introduced to Nickelback, Ke$ha, and Nikki Minaj, and Dave Barry’s audience skewed a bit older, most of the songs included in the voting were oldies from the 60s and 70s, albeit no less terrible, once again proving that while good music might be by and large a 20^th Century thing, awful music is in no way limited to the 21^st.

It should be noted that “Yummy Yummy Yummy” didn’t even WIN the worst song ever contest, it came in third, behind “MacArthur Park” by Richard Harris (that’s the song about leaving the cake out in the rain), and Neil Sedaka’s gloriously epic “You’re Having My Baby.”   The point is sometimes, it’s fun to go back and look at the bad and laugh, as well as appreciating the good.  I’d like to say something profound like ‘it helps you appreciate the fact that you can’t have a ceiling without a floor’, but it’s probably more because humans are visceral creatures who like to laugh at the suck.

So as the Power X begins its contribution to FFW’s month long fifth anniversary celebration, we start where any good Power X starts- at the bottom.  And it helps to remember that success in FFW is no easy task.  For every Scarlett Kincaid, there’s a Danielle Deathstrike, and for every Wendy Briese there’s an Ariel Shadows.  Its tough to make it around here.  And of the 251 women that have signed up and competed in an FFW match in an official capacity, 62 came and went without recording a single victory ever.  Many are forgettable, one and doners that realized how over their heads they were, and disappeared as quietly as they came.  Others, well, whether their stay was short or long, were determined to make their failures as spectacular as possible. 

It’s that last group we pay homage tonight.  Every single woman here is no longer on the FFW Roster, and every single woman here failed to win a single match during their tenure here.  Therefore, you won’t be seeing the likes of Michelle Taylor and Charity Deas, for as hopeless as they were, they actually managed to get a tally in a win column.  Which says something, really.  Faith, Michelle Taylor and Charity Deas could win in FFW, and yet these couldn’t?

So sit back, relax, and take a trip down memory lane, for the Power X’s 20 Worst FFW Wrestlers Ever.