After freezing our nips ever since the Hawaii Show, it's nice to return to the lands of milk, honey, and azure blue, non-ice-filled waters. Spring Break's coming early to FFW, and with everything going to benefit the Special Olympics, it's going to be a nice, warm, beachy day for everyone. Less nice for the losers, of course, but thems the breaks. FUJIKO MINE vs. VERONICA TAYLOR Four days after her debut, Fujiko gets back into the ring to face Vernica Taylor, who welcomed Mine to FFW by attacking her from behind in Fujiko's hometown of Milwaukee. Since Fujiko is not a McFarlane, she's understandably pissed about being unwarrantedly knocked around a bit, and is looking for revenge. PROJECTED WINNER: ...and there doesn't seem much out there to suggest that she can't get it. Taylor seems to me an image over substance type, and I'm not going to be believing her bite's worse than her bark until I see her chomp down. Fujiko's reputation precedes her, and she should keep that going with a solid performance here. KELLY MCGUFFIN vs. HAYLEY DARK TRAPEZE ARTIST vs. FREERUNNER! Should be an interesting showdown between two of FFW's mainstays over the past few years. Believe it or not, this is the first meeting ever between the two, at least in FFW. Winner apparently gets next Television Title shot, which should prove rather alarming news for Leona Vega. PROJECTED WINNER: I love Hayley to death, but let's be honest, she's been in big trouble in FFW ever since Bounce & Pounce broke up- she's lost four in a row now, and while this would be a hell of a match for her to get some momentum back behind her, she still has to worry about McGuffin, who hasn't lost a non-title singles match since Anarchy... the 2012 version. History and momentum are on McGuffin's side, and that tends to be a pretty good indication. PENNY BUCHANAN vs. MADELYNE MCTAGGERT We haven't seen the Pain Train since her heartbreaking loss to Alysson Gardner for the UV Title, so by this point she should be well healed and thoroughly ready to beat the living hell out of someone. That someone is Madelyne McTaggert, who's lost three straight and has taken so many shots that she's actually been a bit civil on Twitter lately. PROJECTED WINNER: The Blondetourage's best advantage is the numbers game, and with Holly Adams off in Bali (Byte This 6 site?) nursing a stubbed toe, Maddy's advantage is diminished. Throw that in with an annoyed Penny (and if she's not annoyed yet, she probably will be five minutes into the match), and things really look bleak for McTaggert. TRIOS CHAMPIONSHIP QUALIFIER SHADES OF THE SUN (Alysson Gardner, Gabrielle Crimson & Valerie Lamb) vs. TRIPLE THREAT (Casey Atherton, Crystal Hilton & Jennifer Williams) You can look at this match one of two ways. 1. The Rockin' Kittens teaming Valerie Fucking Lamb to face Casey Atherton, who's babysiting the Williams Clan reunion and wondering where in the HELL the rest of us got off calling HER delusional. OR 2. a star studded affair that involves women who have combined to hold six of FFW's seven current championships going tooth and nail for a chance to break in the eighth belt. Either/or, really. PROJECTED WINNER: Both teams are alarmingly the same, featuring a woman coming off a big win or two (Aly over Penny and Kate; Crystal over Stacey); a former Future Shock Champion getting into the ring for the first time since losing their belt (Gabrielle & Casey); and a mainstay who has gone into a slump (Val's not won an FFW match since Unstoppable, Jenny's only win in the same timeframe came thanks to Samara Steele's shitty officiating). I think it comes down to chemistry, and considering what Wolf and I had to put up with when Crystal and Jenny were tagging before, I already know what's there is very limited. On the flipside, the Rockin' Kittens have been superb together, and sprinkling a bit of Lamb in the recipe isn't going to diminish the flavor at all. Excpect the Shades to be cool, athough how cool when they face Elo Fury remains to be seen. WENDY BRIESE vs. SOPHIE RICHARDS This match was made by random draw two months ago, thanks to a Special Olympian named Darren who made the pick. All rejoiced, then Wendy got blindsided by Aimee Easter, and now two months later, we're going to try this on a happier note. PROJECTED WINNER: Honestly, if Wendy had won at ONS, I might have picked Sophie, purely on the motivational factor. But anytime you lose a title like that, the first thing you want to do is take it out on the first person you face, and Wendy's going to be gunning to bounce back in a hard way. An uber-motivated Wendy is a dead opponent, so it's why I gotta pick my client.
HRM... I WONDER WHAT A CATTLE PROD HERE WOULD FEEL LIKE...
Welcome to Raleigh, home of the North Carolina State Wolfpack, which is in turn the home of fat shirtless guys acting weird. No, seriously. I'm not kidding. With that kind of enthusiasm, small wonder we're heading there in the wake of One Night Stand, where I'm almost certain we'll have a row of shirtless Carolinians spelling out TARA THUNDER. Sorry Alysson, your name's too long, and really, they just don't have that many friends. FUJIKO MINE vs. CINDY WARREN Mine (pronounced Mi-NAY, as in Mi-NAY Mouse), makes her long awaited debut against a hometown girl, who is a NCSU grad and nurse, and currently undefeated in FFW with a win over Kanna Haroshi (LMAO T.R.U.T.H.). After being punked by fellow newcomer Veronica Taylor in her hometown, I doubt Fujiko is all that reserved about doing the same to Warren in hers. Except this will be awesome, instead of rage inducing. PROJECTED WINNER: Fujiko, unless Cindy has some penchant for getting upset wins over Japanese. Then again, we're not all that sure Fujiko IS Japanese. I think she is. I don't know. She kinda looks... maybe? Either way, she wins. SUMMER vs. SHAELIN O'HARA The Former TV Champion returns to FFW after over a years absence, and comes in a heavy favorite against the winless O'Hara. Summer's one of the nicest women in the business, unless you get a little frisky on her booty, as poor Bryan Deas found out. No spankings! PROJECTED WINNER: Here's the thing about O'Hara- when you're this big of an underdog, you have two options. One is to whine about it, and keep making promises about 'showing everyone', the other is to shut up, grit your teeth, train your ass off, and gloat like a motherfucker after you pull the upset. Guess which route works more often, and guess which route Shaelin went. They don't match. Summer takes this. VALENTINA LOZANO vs. RHEA LASKARIS Two women who think they're Goddesses square off here. Valentina of course being the goddess of edible nail polish, while Rhea is the goddess of dead mechanical bulls. And when they fight- hoo boy! It's the best episode of Xena ever! PROJECTED WINNER: The only way you're going to beat Rhea is by evading her power, and well, let's be honest, Valentina's too arrogant. She'll dodge Rhea a couple times, maybe even get a good one over on her, then act like she's won the FFW World Heavyweight Championship. And then Rhea catches her, and roll credits. NEVEAH SUMMERS vs. DESTINY FIGGINS God, we sure are hyping up the new talent tonight, aren't we? This is a carryover from ONS, where Neveah cemented her role as the strongest of the newcomers, while Figgins got a bit lost in the shuffle. Now, one on one, this is a great chance for Figgins to shine, with more room to move about the ring. PROJECTED WINNER: Like I said, Neveah is the best of the newcomers right now, and until proven otherwise. I think this is going to be a heck of a match, but I need to see Destiny proving she can actually beat Neveah before I push my chips in on her. MISTY WHITMORE vs. LAURA STEELE It'll have been eight days since Laura rammed that Rod of Sophistication (read: Cattle Prod) into Adam's chest, and 80% of the FFW locker room will still be wanting her dead. Misty drew the short straw, having been booked against Laura even before the incident happened. Whitmore better work fast- she may be on a clock with allthe angry women backstage. PROJECTED WINNER: Better be Misty, because if Laura wins, that puts her in a TV title match, and I don't think any of us could bear to think of that happening. TARA THUNDER vs. ALYSSON GARDNER Definitely an interesting mix of conflicting styles here. Tara may be the best technician in FFW, and Alysson's got a belt that says she's good at thwacky-time, although we've seen Aly put on a few awesome tech shows herself when she needs to. PROJECTED WINNER: Gardner hasn't lost a match since Septemer (six matches ago) or taken a fall since June (nine matches ago). But it's so damn hard to pick against Tara, who pretty much only loses to Caroline Stark or Wendy Briese. This one's going to be close,and certainly deserving of a main event, but in the end, I think Tara has the reserves to add another big name to her resume.
And how sweet it is for Scarlett Kincaid, the homegrown
former waitress from Baton Rouge who now celebrates her third FFW Championship
reign.
Believe it or not, it actually took Kincaid longer to
get her third FFW Championship than it did her first, largely thanks to a
moratorium imposed by Isabella Pazzini after their huge match at Anarchy
2012. It’s one of the reasons why Scarlett’s
2013 was largely a (relatively) forgettable one- save for her shenanigans at
Chaos Theory, she wasn’t very active until the Femme For All.
2014 is shaping up to be the opposite, and while a one
on one showdown with outgoing Champion Wendy Briese is certainly inevitable, there’s
not too many women on the roster who are capable of dethroning the American
Honey who just stated a loud and clear case for being the greatest FFW Wrestler
of all time.
So, of course, it’s obvious who’s number one in the
first true Power X of 2014, but two on down is a largely different story, and
there is a TON of movement this time around, especially when you consider that
we had only three shows between Anarchy and One Night Stand. But any time you get as crazy a PPV as ONS
was, combined with the fact that so much new talent was given opportunities to
shine, and the radical changes make some sense.
Unfortunately, as with every other Power X, we do have
to say goodbye to some women, at least for the time being, as you do have to
have wrestled for FFW some time in the past two months to be eligible for the
Power X. A whopping twelve women didn’t make the cut.
Casey
Atherton (30th)
Starla
McCloud (41st)
Jem
Michaels (45th)
Angela
Hinchcliffe (46th)
Lollipop
(53rd)
Nancy
Dietz (55th)
Freya
Kane (56th)
Christelle
Gillet (60th)
Cindy
Warren (61st)
Kanna
Haroshi (62nd)
Ashley
Whitmore (63rd)
Michelle
Taylor (64th)
Of those, only
Kane and Taylor are going to be off permanently, with Kane’s injury and
apparently ten matches is enough losses for Michelle. Many others will be back on as soon as next
month, and are set to be booked in the coming weeks. In the meantime, we have TEN new wrestlers
entering the rankings, keeping us as a robust sixty two women. Top forty make their grid and get their pretty
pictures up, which means twenty-two don’t, so let’s take a look at at those
first
#62-
ABIGAIL LINDSAY [NEW]
#61-
DESTINY LOVEHEART [NEW]
#60-
SHAELIN O’HARA [-1]
#59-
EMI YAMAMOTO [-2]
#58-
NATALYA DEMIDOV [-7]
#57-
SOPHIA BLACK [-8]
#56-
HOPE DAWSON [NEW]
#55-
CRYSTAL HATE [-1]
#54-
NICOLE KNIGHT [-22]
#53-
DESTINY FIGGINS [NEW]
#52-
ARABELLA BLACK [-4]
#51-
HAYLEY DARK [-13]
#50-
STACEY [-3]
#49-
LILLY SHEFFIELD [NEW]
#48-
STEPHANIE SULLIVAN [-14]
#47-
JESSIKA HEXSTAR [-4]
#46-
MERCEDES VARGAS [NEW]
#45-
DESTINY CAMPBELL [-6]
#44-
LAURA STEELE [-18]
#43-
IGNIS [-15]
#42-
CAMILLA PAZZINI [-11]
#41-
CANDI [-8]
Don’t like being left out of the Top 40? Wrestle better.
40
VALENTINA LOZANO
+18
Valentina’s
toesucking fetish has gone from bizarre to kinda creepy. And not just what we saw from Candi, but
the woman apparently wants to pull her fetish on EVERYONE IN THE FUCKING
COMPANY. Hope she uses wart cream.
39
LEONA VEGA
-16
Leona drops a bit
on inactivity, which you’re going to see becomes quite common for those who
haven’t competed since Anarchy.
Normally someone who hasn’t wrestled in that long would be off the rankings
entirely, but with the limited number of shows since then, I granted a
one-time (per year) amnesty.
38
METEORA
+4
It’s honestly a
surprise that the Rudos were unable to get the job done on KO/TO, and earn a
long awaited one on one rematch against the Brew. They seriously need to step up their game.
37
STARDUST
+7
They’re already
talking about doing just that. Is there
actually a crime out there worse than infanticide? If so, the Rudos are more than willing to
do it!
36
ADIRA RIDDICK
NEW
Riddick continues
to impress, putting up a strong fight against D.J. Laine, but she couldn’t
quite get over Laine’s tricks. Of
course, she has potentially a bigger problem now after shoving Kilmeade , but
don’t worry- most of Team Kyle’s bark is worse than it’s bite.
35
NEVEAH SUMMERS
NEW
Neveah’s proven
herself the class of incoming Non-Future Shock talent, but her ambitions of
insta-FFW Championship may be a bit unrealistic. She’s got to work her way there first, and
the TV Division’s as good a place to start as any.
34
D.J. LAINE
NEW
That’s twice now
Laine’s punked Riddick, and I’m sure the Canadian’s getting a little tired of
it, but the DJ is more than able to keep one step ahead of her- although we’ll
see if Adira can catch up in the rematch.
33
REBECKA HATE
-13
Becka deserves all
the props in the world for winning the SVW Championship over Wendigo, but
this is a column about FFW, and here, it’s a different story. Letting Laura escape the cage was a huge
blunder, and even with a tough field, she made a tough mental lapse and got
put through a table.
32
KINSEY DE CARO
-7
Kins drops on
inactivity, but that’s about to change as she prepares to go into the
Elimination Chamber for the biggest opportunity of her career.
31
CRYSTAL HILTON
-16
Hilton’s been
quiet and almost invisible since her win over Stacey, which is probably not a
good thing when you’re coming off a
huge win over the longest reigning FFW Champion of all time. Surely the Rose Goddess has more in her
than just being a Trios tagalong?
30
TIFA HEAFY
+5
Tifa’s making it
look easy with powerful wins over Valentina and Destiny. She’s not done with the former, either, as
Lozano’s apparently got Tifa boyfriend liprints on her feet!
29
KELLY MCGUFFIN
-5
Kelly drops on inactivity,
but her thoughts aren’t exactly with FFW at the moment. Not when she’s dealing with the unfair
oppression of sexual harassment from one Christopher Kane over in our sister
company.
28
GABRIELLE CRIMSON
-10
Gabby’s meteoric
rise to the Future Shock Championship proved to be a short one, although she’s
almost a lock to get it back sooner or later.
But first… a bit of revenge against Ignis, perhaps?
27
GIGANTE
+25
The last Extreme
Battle Royal winner performed quite well in defending her unofficial title,
but, like I said, with that much of a stiffer competition, she was facing too
much of an uphill battle, especially when they ganged up on her.
26
JENNIFER WILLIAMS
-4
Big Match Jenny
wasn’t quite big enough, and it’s certainly a testament to how much tougher
the Evolution Division is compared to the TV title.
25
MARLA LEE
NEW
It’s well known
that Marla is looking to push the boundaries of how the ultraviolence
division, and wrestling itself is defined, and she was groundbreaking again
at ONS. How screwed up do you have to
get things to get a NO CONTEST called in a UV match?
24
MILEENA SAVAGE
+26
After coming close
at Indomitable, Mileena Savage has secured herself a likely rematch with
Caroline by bumping off Stephanie in the long-awaited rubber match to their
series.
23
CLAIRE BLACK
+17
Claire Black is
the wrestler that just won’t die.
Everytime you start to think that KO/TO (and Sudden Impact, by
extention) has run its course, Claire busts out a huge win, and puts those
doubts on the backburner- although they never seem to truly be eliminated.
22
EMMA MACNAMARA
+5
Emma’s probably
hoping the rest of 2014 doesn’t have many more bang-ups against Undine on the
schedule, since she’s already been dumped through a table and over the top
rope by the Aquablonde
21
UNDINE
+16
Close but no cigar
for Undine, who plowed through the competition in the tables match, and
looked to be doing the same in the UV Battle Royal- at least until a little
plucky pop punk princess got in the way.
20
HOLLY ADAMS
+1
The Blondetourage
is cooling off, especially Adams, who has lost four straight and saw both of
their tag losses ending with her on her back.
Trouble at the cool kids table?
19
PENNY BUCHANAN
-9
The Pain Train
drops on inactivity, given that she hasn’t officially wrestled since
Anarchy. And no, Pennybombing the UV
title match at ONS doesn’t count.
18
TARA THUNDER
-6
Tara again dips on
inactivity, which has become too common a trend for someone of her ability. Luckily she’ll get back into things at
Breaking Point with a solid showdown against Alysson Gardner.
17
SERAFINA DE CARO
+12
KO/TO looked fine
against Crystallized Steele (who its almost impossible to look bad against),
but that Rudos match was probably the best team performance yet. They’ll need to be even better to down the
Brew.
16
SAMARA STEELE
+20
Whether you love
her or hate her (and let’s be honest, you don’t love her), you can’t deny
that Samara’s performance at ONS was one of her best ever. Which sets up a dilemma of an offer for
her- to either take her title shot now, or wait and be the last one in the
chamber. We’ll find out her choice at
Breaking Point.
15
JO MCFARLANE
FUTURE SHOCK CHAMPION
+1
Jo finally has a
title to call her own, learning the lessons she suffered in a previous loss
to Atherton to overcome Gabrielle Crimson.
It guarantees her to be busy over the next few months, too- the Future
Shock division has no shortage of challengers.
14
MADELYNE MCTAGGERT
+5
The Blondetourage
actually had a pretty effective strategy against Witches’ Brew. Not an entirely legal strategy, but an
effective one. It’s a testament to
Kyoun and Dallins that they were able to survive it.
13
LIGHTNING
-5
Sparky drops on
inactivity, but with the events of Friday night fresh in everyone’s mind,
Jestine is going to be performing with another level of intensity soon
enough.
12
MISTY WHITMORE
TELEVISION CHAMPION
-7
Misty survived a
game challenge from Destiny Campbell, but suddenly all eyes are on her in
front of Breaking Point- she after all has first crack at Laura Steele after
Steele pissed the entire company off.
11
CAROLINE STARK
NO SURRENDER CHAMPION
=
It hasn’t exactly
been a two month period of the best life choices for Caroline. Facing the Blondetourage alone? Drinking a bottle of water someone
mysterious clearly REALLY wants you to drink?
Thank God she still has that title.
10
KATE STEELE
+4
Ever since Valerie
Lamb dropped the schtick, we’ve been lacking a vampire in FFW. I present to you Kath-Lyn Steele, who
somehow manages to rise from the dead again and again despite being stabbed over and fucking over by
the UV division. Once again she’s back
in contention just weeks after having all claims to the belt denied by
Gardner.
9
STEPHANIE DALLINS
UNITY CHAMPION
+8
ALAKAZAMAKAZOO! The Witches Brew keeps on stirring the pot
in the Unity Division. They’ve now
survived two of the most heinous teams we’ve seen in the company in a good
while. What’s that going to do when
they have to change it up and face the much more respectable KO/TO?
8
VALERIE LAMB
-1
That’s probably it
for Val’s FFW Championship hopes in the immediate future, so Val will turn to
the Trios division, teaming with the Rockin’ Kittens to form Shades of the
Sun.
7
SUNNY KYOUN
UNITY CHAMPION
+6
Honestly, as well
as things are going for Sunny, I can’t help but think if entering Future
Shock again was a mistake. The reward
puts her not that much further ahead than where she is currently, and it’s going to dilute her focus.
6
AIMEE EASTER
-4
Aimee’s plan seems
to have backfired, as a furious Eileen overcame her in an absolutely brutal match
to win back her title, but managed to keep herself from getting TOO out of
control. That leaves Aimee on the same
level as the other challengers heading towards the Elimination Chamber- does
Aimee have enough tricks up her sleeve for five people?
5
MIKAELA DEMIDOV
+4
Mika proved the
win over Camilla was no fluke, and now stands as one of two women with a
legitimate claim for an FFW title shot at the moment. With the top belt off the table for Chaos
Theory, could Mika’s dream be about to come true at Relentless?
4
ALYSSON GARDNER
ULTRAVIOLENCE CHAMPION
+2
Twice Alysson
faced a stiff challenger, and twice she walked away with her belt. Although who knows what would have
ultimately happened had the UV title match not been called off due to Penny’s
involvement.
3
WENDY BRIESE
-2
Wendy’s a prime
example of how quickly fates can change in FFW- she was on the verge of
winning, but failed to take Scarlett into account. Becoming the first woman to lose the FFW
Championship without taking a fall will certainly give her some motivation
towards winning it back.
2
EILEEN AMARO
+2
Like most of the “nice
girls” in this company, Eileen can be downright terrifying when she’s pissed,
and she brought all kinds of unholy vengeance on the Poetess, gaining back
her title in the process. And props to
her buddy Leo Apollo, who kept her from going TOO far, no matter how
justified it would have been.
1
SCARLETT KINCAID
FFW CHAMPION
+2
From Unstoppable
IV on, Scarlett has been literally just that, churning out a six match winning
streak en route to the FFW Championship. Right now the contender field is a
teensy sparse, so we can see a pretty long reign here unless Mika or Wendy can
do her in.
