Power X- January 1, 2012

Once again, its time for wrestling manager and analyst Daniel Pollaski to go over the news, reviews, and previews of Femme Fatale Wrestling! All content is the sole opinion of the author and does not reflect the views of Femme Fatale Wrestling, its wrestlers, or administration. Or Wendy Briese, for that matter, so don’t go jumping her in the hallway if you get butthurt about this. Bitch.

The Power X’s inspirational thought of the week.

We're leaving together

But still it's farewell

And maybe we'll come back

To earth, who can tell?

I guess there is no one to blame

We're leaving ground

Will things ever be the same again?

It's the final countdown

The final countdown

We're heading for Venus and still we stand tall

'Cause maybe they've seen us and welcome us all, yea

With so many light years to go and things to be found

I'm sure that we'll all miss her so

It's the final countdown

The final countdown

-       “The Final Countdown” Europe

Hey kids!

I hope everyone had a very happy and safe New Year.   I know I did, even though I got punked by a stupid bitch named Whitley Mercer.  Yeah, that little bit of bullshit did put a bit of a damper on the evening.  Other than that, what a show!  So much going on, and so many awesome matches!  Colleen vs. Strike and Birdz vs. Stark & Stone especially are going to rate as some of the best matches of the year.

But now that 2011 is in the books, its time to do, well, the Final Countdown of the year.  This is the first of two year-end columns that I’ll be doing, with the second one hopefully up in a couple of days- a mega-comprehensive end-all be-all look at the previous year (well, from Full Frontal on, considering that’s when I kinda came in).  This one, however, is just going to be your normal run-of-the-mill version of Pollaski awesomeness.

RANKINGS!

For those of you who religiously follow the Power-X (and seriously, you totally suck if you don’t), you might have noticed that over the past couple of weeks, the number of people on the list has shrunken.  Around late summer, we were sporting a whopping forty-seven women on the Power-X rankings list, the last installment merely saw thirty-six.  Well, don’t worry, folks!  No one’s gotten dropped this time around, and we have a whopping SIX women returning to the rankings after a brief hiatus.  Add three newcomers to that list, and we’ve ballooned back to a respectable forty-five women on the January 1 edition. 

Since it’s a new year, and we’ve gotten a lot of new people paying attention since I started this, let me take a moment to give a quick reminder of the Power X rules.

1.     To be eligible for the Power-X, wrestler must have competed on either the last two show cycles (generally either a Velocity-Breaking Point combination, or a PPV), or be booked in the next one.  After all, there’s no point in trying to come up with interesting things to write about you if you don’t freakin’ do anything.

2.     The FFW Champion will always be ranked #1.  There is no guaranteed ranking for any other wrestler, regardless of what titles they hold.

3.     All rankings are subjective, and are the sole opinion of myself.  These are unofficial, and hold no bearing on a wrestler’s official status in Femme Fatale Wrestling, or elsewhere.  Although I would like to remind you that I’m FFW’s Most Influential.  Wherever I say you are, I can promise you nine times out of ten that the brass of this company have a similar opinion.

4.     I reserve the right to bend or break these rules at my discretion.  This is MY column after all.

  And just in case anyone was wondering, yes, New Years Retribution did count in terms of my rankings. 

Alright, so who’s ready to rock?  As usual, I reserve my highlights for the Top 25, which means if you’re on the following list, you’ve got some serious work to do.  Anyways here are those who didn’t quite make the cut this time around.

#45- CHARITY DEAS [-9]

#44- TRACI LOVEHEART [Returning- Last Ranked 41^st on November 2]

#43- SOPHIA BLACK [-8]

#42- ALYSSA FOXWORTH [-11]

#41- SARAH RICHARDSON [Returning- Last Ranked 38^th on November 2]

#40- CHARLOTTE GAGE [-6]

#39- STEPHANIE SULLIVAN [Returning- Last ranked 39^th on September 29]

#38- TABATHA BELMONT [-5]

#37- LUMINA FERRARI [-7]

#36- KASSANDRA [-7]

#35- KIMBERLY ARIES [NEW]

#34- ELIZABETH SHOWTIME [-6]

#33- ALLISON DEAS [-6]

#32- REBBECCA VALENTINE [--]

#31- LIGHTNING [NEW]

#30- IGNIS [Returning- Last ranked 19^th on November 2]

#29- HANNA ELLIOT [-8]

#28- ARABELLA DE ROSSI [-4]

#27- JO MCFARLANE [-5]

#26- HAYLEY DARK [Returning- Last Ranked 16^th on November 2]

Yeah, I know, a lot of people dropped here, and not an insignificant amount of spots either.  Kinda happens when nine people enter the rankings.

Alright, so now, the final top 25 of 2011… here we go!

#25- ARIANNA MILLAR [--]

*FFW UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION*

With a successful defense over the Eternal Flame, Arianna is certainly establishing herself as a surprise in the tag team rankings- remember, it was commonly thought as an awful decision when Desirae picked her as her partner.  But things are working out rather well for the time being, although we still have yet to see what Arianna can do by herself in FFW competition.

#24- ALYSSON GARDNER [+2]

It took a couple weeks longer than expected, but Alysson has finally found her way into the top 25 with an impressive victory over Sarah Richardson.  She’s got her sights set on Stephanie Sullivan come Cold-Blooded, but first, a redhead vs. redhead matchup when Alysson takes on the (dyed) Rebbecca Valentine.

#23- CARA STONE [NEW]

Like I said, New Year’s Retribution did count for these rankings, and that was technically Cara’s first match as a member of the FFW roster.  And what a match it was- trust me when I say that beating the WhirlyBirdz, ring rust or no ring rust, is hardly a small feat.  Couple that with Cara’s impressive performance in the fifth season of Future Shock, and she has to be pegged as an early favorite in the Pick Your Poison ladder match.

#22- SUMMER [+1]

In professional wrestling, someone’s loss is someone else’s gain, and that holds very true in the case of this bubbly young lady.  With Kassandra having to pull out due to an injury, Summer finds herself facing Lumina for a chance to move into a spot in the No Surrender championship.  What a big break for her!

#21- EMMA MCINTYRE [-2]

It’s been quiet from the Former Champion after her loss to Queen Machine at Violent Night, but she did do a stellar job as a ring announcer at NYR.  And, let’s be honest, her chucking of former partner Katherine Stryfe under the bus was, well, beautiful. 

#20- KELLY MCGUFFIN [--]

Kelly’s epic beatdown of Sophia Black to a surprising turn for the disappointing after Sophia managed to cheat her way into a disqualification, and avoid her fate.  Consider it a postponement- the rematch is set for Cold Blooded, and will be a Prison of Punishment match!

#19- CRYSTAL HATE [-1]

Unfortunately for Crystal, Sophie proved to be too much for her, and Hate found her bid for the Television Championship coming up a bit on the short side.  Fortunately for the rest of us, Crystal and her sisters proved to be too much for Don Tirri, and we all got a great view of that coven beating the living holy hell out of him at NYR.

#18- QUEEN MACHINE [-1]

After coming off a great momentum building win over Emma McIntyre at Violent Night, you’d have thought that Jenny would have been sent back into that ring to capitalize on her success.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t quite seem to be the case here, as Jenny won’t be getting back into the ring until she faces Kaitlynn Stryfe.  That’s not a good opponent to have ring rust against.

#17- SHANE SANDERS [-2]

After a great win over Jo McFarlane, Shane’s momentum took a bit of a hiccup when she and her brother teamed up against Jo and Arabella at NYR.  Still, that might be adding a bit of fuel to the fire for Shane, she’s getting Arabella again when she and Eileen faces the Violent Femmes… and she’s definitely out to prove that her win over Colleen was anything but a fluke.

#16- RAVEN WICKED [-2]

The Ultraviolence title might not be on the line this time, but this is an absolutely critical match for Raven, who is in danger of being shunted out of the UV title picture for the time being as the focus more and more is on Camilla and Rose.  She can change that at Velocity, by pulling off an upset over Camilla in a No Holds Barred match.  Don’t scoff, she’s done it once already!

#15- DESIRAE KAIN [+1]

*FFW UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION*

You know, I’m kind of surprised we haven’t had a bitching session from Katherine Stryfe yet that she had to wrestle twice at Unstoppable, yet Desirae Kain gets a more accommodating schedule.  Now that she’s not wrestling twice in the night, Desirae’s chances of walking out of Cold Blooded with the Tag Team belts… and maybe a singles title to go along with them, has increased dramatically.

#14- CASEY ATHERTON [-1]

Hey, Casey!  Pay no attention to what that mean Gabrielle Crimson said about you being a criminal.  The only thing you’ve stolen is my heart.  And yeah, maybe a few trophies as well.  But personally, I know I sleep better at night thinking that Casey won Season 3 instead of Alysson Summers, don’t you?

#13- ROSE JENKINS [-1]

If Rose wanted to help me win my match at NYR, maybe she should have focused on stopping Shitley Mercer from jumping me from behind, instead of doing a miserably executed attack on Camilla.  Like I said on Twitter, just because she needed help to beat Michelle Taylor doesn’t mean everyone else needs assistance.  And that’s why Chunks is going to be pulling a hat trick on good ol’ Rosie come Cold-Blooded

#12- ISABELLA PAZZINI [Returning- Last ranked 10^th on November 2]

After a couple of months of being on the back burner, Isabella’s gotten pretty busy over the past couple weeks, first saving Wendy from a savage attack by Crystal Hilton, and then beating Gary Gilray at NYR.  Next up, a rematch with Starla McCloud… if anyone saw the travesty of the first one… you’ll know why a lot of people are looking forward to this.  At least Alvin Shepherd isn’t going to be a ref this time.

#11- EILEEN AMARO [-1]

Eileen’s been a little… angrier over the past couple of weeks.  Mainly at Colleen, but if you’re on the A-List, you probably didn’t make her Christmas card list.  Luckily for her, she’s going to get a chance to blow off some serious steam against the Violent Femmes next week, followed by what should be an absolute tearing of Alyssa Foxworth at Cold-Blooded.

#10- SOPHIE RICHARDS [-1]

*FFW TELEVISION CHAMPON*

Crystal Hate put up a fight, but Sophie managed to dispatch her, and retain what has suddenly become the hottest belt in the company in terms of people lining up to challenge for this.  Next up is Desirae Kain, who could be very very dangerous.

#9- KAITLYNN STRYFE [-3]

Kitty’s been quiet since her loss to Scarlett, but she gets back into the swing of things against Charlotte Gage, which should amount to little more than a warmup match.  The big challenge is Queen Machine, who could be a very very stiff challenge at Cold Blooded

#8- KATHERINE STRYFE [-4]

I’m starting to wonder if Kat is one of those people who manages to be very successful against one opponent (Kaitlynn Stryfe), yet struggles against pretty much anyone else.  A loss against Crystal Hilton certainly suggests that once again, Stryfe is going to be drifting back in the pack.

#7- CRYSTAL HILTON [+4]

Crystal was a busy, busy girl over the past couple of weeks, first of all jumping Cheers and Jeers, then Wendy Briese, and then pulling out some shenanigans to down the recently dethroned FFW Champion.  She’s off until Cold Blooded, which gives her plenty of time to come up with the spell she’ll need to beat Isabella Pazzini

#6- TARA THUNDER [+2]

*FFW EVOLUTION CHAMPION*

You have got to give Tara credit.  After her loss the first time around to Hanna Elliot, she treated it as a wake up call, turned around, and pulled off not just a huge win over Crystal Hilton, but then avenged her loss by beating Elliot to retain the belt.  Tara better be careful to keep up the momentum though… otherwise history is going to be repeating itself against Melanie Avilo.

#5- WENDY BRIESE [--]

The ‘final flight’ of the WhirlyBirdz ended in a disappointment for Wendy, but at this point, she is right where she wants to be in her singles career.  She got the win over the upset-minded Stephanie Sullivan, and she’s headed to Cold Blooded to fight for the No Surrender Championship.  Now to deliver the goods.

#4- COLLEEN [+3]

You can’t rebound any better than that.  Colleen followed up her disappointing losses to Stacey and Shane by putting on a beautiful performance against Chris Strike in her hometown.  A gutsy win against an equally gutsy performance, and Colleen’s ascent back into the top 5 is well-deserved.  But you can tell the ghost of her loss to Sanders is bothering her- why else would she have demanded the rematch?

#3- CAMILLA PAZZINI [--]

*FFW ULTRAVIOLENCE CHAMPION*

Considering who Chunks has beaten in the past few months, how awesome would it have been if I had been able to pull off the monster upset last night?  Alas, thanks to stupid Whitley Mercer, Chunks maintains her victory, and her show spot in the rankings.  Although I can’t help but wonder how much fun it would have been to drop her for losing to me.  Ah, well.

#2- SCARLETT KINCAID [--]

Considering how much bullshit Johnny Moxie manages to get away with, a DQ win isn’t really anything to scoff at.  Especially because when bullshit wasn’t raining down from the sky, Scarlett was kicking Moxie’s ass all over the arena.  Now, Scarlett’s got one mission- take back her title.

#1- STACEY MACKENZIE [--]

*FFW CHAMPION*

Despite apparent allegations that Stacey is sitting on her title like a coward, The Simply Better Dreamkiller seems to be in good shape.  She’s going to need all the rest she can get, after all.  She’s got herself a biiiig defense coming up at Cold Blooded!

And there you have it, kids!  The final rankings of 2011!

INCOMING!

So we are now in the final push towards Cold Blooded, and as such, two more shows coming at you.  Here’s a quick rundown of what you can expect.

VELOCITY- January 5 from Kansas City, Missouri

Man, I fucking hate the Sprint Center.  It just makes me sad, because when I was a kid living in KCK, it was always the Kemper Arena.  But I know, times they are a changing, and arenas come and go.  Anyways, my feelings on the venue aside, we’re looking at a pretty damn stuffed card here.  Christine Smith, the newly signed “Queen Predator” goes up against Crystal Hate.  Not sure what all Christine’s going to bring to the table here, but she better be ready to bring it, Crystal’s welcomed a few newcomers already to FFW, and most of them haven’t been warm.  Next up, a bonafide ass-whupping on the table, as Rose Jenkins takes on… dear god help us… TWISTED PATH 2.0.   And no, that’s not an upgrade.  Of course, I wouldn’t be shocked if Camilla comes out to ‘help’ Rose during this, either.

The final spot in the No Surrender match at Cold Blooded is on the line as Lumina Ferrari, who’s getting a second chance here after a stunning loss to Kassandra a couple months  ago, goes up against Summer, who’s been very dangerous ever since her debut just a month or so ago.  Jo McFarlane, coming off two straight losses, hopes to get a bit of momentum back against Sophia Black, who seems hellbent in getting as big a bounty on her head as she possibly can.

If Camilla fucked with Rose earlier in the night, expect a bit of payback in the next match, when Chunks goes up against Rose Jenkins in a nontitle NHB match.  Then again, considering how much Rose is fed up with Cammie, Rose might be making her presence known regardless.  And in the main event, it’s Isabella Pazzini returning to the FFW ring to take on Starla McCloud.  I can guarantee you one thing- my girl Wendy will be watching this one very closely, both as a scouting chance, and considering the shenanigans that seem to arise whenever Starla McCloud wrestles.

BREAKING POINT- January 14 in Boise, Idaho

SMURFS!  Seriously, there aren’t many people out there who want to go to Boise in the middle of the winter, but as far as yours truly is concerned, its always welcome to go home to the land of the Broncos and the Blue turf.  Kicking things off is creepy-horny Future Shock 5 participant Elizabeth Blackwell, making her FFW debut in what should amount to a curbstomping of Charity Deas.  The dominance theme should continue into the next match, when the vicious Kaitlynn Stryfe hopes to send a message to Queen Machine by whooping Charlie Gage’s ass all over the Potato Bowl.

The Competition only ramps up from there, with Alysson Gardner going up against Rebbecca Valentine.  Becky’s high on her horse coming off a huge win for the Eternal Flame over OMGWTF, but at the same time, Rebbecca’s singles record is, well, lacking.  A shitload.  More redhead on redhead action follows in the next match, when Future Shock 3 alumnis Ignis and Casey Atherton collide- a shame, given that Iggy doesn’t yet have any accolades for Casey to steal.

Security better be ready for the next one, which should amount to nothing short of a hate-filled war when Eileen Amaro and Shane Sanders tangle with the A-List.  Not sure if Eileen and Shane are as focused on the tag titles as the Violent Femmes are, but the fact of the matter is both women would LOVE to get their hands on the A-Listers.  And gold is on the line in the main event of the evening, as Sophie Richards defends her title again, this time against Desirae Kain.  Richards has  to be a favorite, considering her track record, but remember, Desirae is at her best when you don’t see her coming.

AWARDS!

As has been mentioned several times before (and face it, you already knew it anyways), New Years Retribution was last night, and by all accounts (including mine) it was a phenomenal show.  So who better to give today’s awards than the mastermind behind that show, not to mention the general manager of FFW’s Velocity show, AND FFW & SVW announcer.  All around great guy… MARK HORTON!

Take it away, Marky!

Match of the Week

Colleen vs. Chris Strike - New Year’s Retribution

This one was rather difficult for me, because there were several good nominees, including the TV Championship match between Sophie & Crystal Hate at Breaking Point. But this match here was just a pure clinic of how you enthrall an audience. Even given the fact that the crowd was very pro-Colleen, they still showed enthusiasm and respect for both wrestlers! I was happy to see Colleen pick up this huge win in her hometown no less. And I am certainly of the mind that that this cracked ceiling is about to shatter. Good show by both, I was honored to be able to present it!

Hard to argue this point.  It was a great way to close out the show.  Although Colleen actually being cheered felt… odd.  Runners up!

-       Richards vs. Hate (Mark’s right, this was a tough call.  That was a good match, and easily the hardest I’ve yet seen Crystal fight.  Hate may have come up short, but she’s going to get another chance sooner rather than later, and Sophie better watch out when she does)

-       WhirlyBirdz VHS vs. Stark & Stone (Is this a homer pick?  Possibly.  Is it justified?  You’re damn fucking right it is.  There was no shortage of anything in this match, intensity, athleticism, and most of all, respect.  Like Wendy said afterwards, if it was the final flight of the WhirlyBirdz, it was a damn good one)

Winner of the Week

Sophie Richards

Given the fact that I couldn’t give her match of the week, she damn sure deserves winner of the week! Sophie, since becoming the Television Champion, has been on a path to greatness with the frequency of her title defenses. She is simply the best Television Champion in that title’s history, bar none. And whoever finally takes that title off of her has some heavy shoes to fill! Sophie is going to be competing for the FFW Championship before 2012 is over, I am confident. And when she does, I’ll be betting on her!

Isn’t Sophie, the only Television Champion to actually successfully defend the title?

-       Tara Thunder (the other retainee this week, doing so by avenging her loss to Hanna Elliot.  Tara’s really come around these past few weeks.  Now the trick is to keep this momentum going)

-       Melanie Avilo (Beating Cara Stone is no small accomplishment, and Melanie did that with flying colors in the Future Shock final to become the new #1 Contender to the Evolution Championship.  Well done, from someone I thought was going out the very first week)

Loser of the Week

Johnny Moxie

I know he’s not in FFW, but the fact that he has diminished the SVW Championship to the degree he has saddens me. I have fond memories of calling some epic SVW Championship matches between some of the best competitors in the business. And Moxie does the title no favors in title defenses or even just one on one matches as we saw at New Year’s Retribution. He has brought the honor and prestige of that belt to an all time low with the way he conducts himself, and frankly I look forward to Criminal Intent when either Nathan McFarlane or Rexxx relieves him of it!

Its okay.  The loserdom of Johnny Moxie is strong enough to transcend all feds. 

-       Hanna Elliot (Rumor has it the next episode of her webcast, Hanna consults a dictionary to learn the definition of the phrase ‘sustaining momentum’)

-       Sophia Black (Getting yourself disqualified?  Smart move.  Punching one of the most vindictive, powerful women on the planet in the face? Not so much)

Douchebag of the Week

Anthony Gambini

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that there was going to be something up when Gambini booked himself on my show to face Nathan. I had a feeling there was going to be some kind of shenanigans, but I did make the mistake of thinking he might actually fight. How wrong I was! Instead he just surrounded himself by more henchmen, and this time it just happened to be Jackson. I know Mr. Jackson wants people to talk about him, and that’s what matters to him. Frankly, I have never looked to promote lackeys and henchmen, and he would not have done what he did were it not for SVW’s CEO! Criminal Intent, roll on! Because as much as I have faith in Spencer to pick the best damn team possible, rest assured that I will do everything in my power to ensure that February 12 is the last night SVW is cursed with Anthony Gambini! And as well connected as he thinks he is, New Year’s Retribution proved one thing. I’ve got connections too. You can call me AT&T, and after all the shit he’s caused me personally, Gambini will find out how well connected I am at Criminal Intent. Promise.

2011 was a bad year for the Anthony Gambini fan club.  With Osama, Mummar, and Kim all kicking the bucket, membership is at an all time low.  Anyone have Manuel and Hugo on speedial?

-       Crystal Hilton (Wow, I haven’t seen a self-absorbed violent binge like that since the Rori Snyder days)

-       Whitley Mercer (Happy Whitley?  You finally got in the awards section, something you weren’t relevant enough to accomplish the first time around)

A big special thanks to Mark for the awards!  And, of course, you can pretty much catch Mr. Horton on every show either FFW or SVW runs. That is one busy busy dude.

MEME OF THE WEEK!

I hope you guys are enjoying them, because these are seriously fun as hell to do.  This week, well, a bit of a look into the future, given the prophetic significance of our now current year.

Fuckin’ Mayans.

Anyways, that will do it for this edition of the Power X.  But Hark!  It won’t be two weeks until the next one goes up, because in just a matter of DAYS, you’ll be getting the first EVER FFW Power X-Travaganza!  Seriously, this is going to be one end of year revue you do NOT want to miss!

Until then… POLLA OUT!!!

Daniel Pollaski is an freelance wrestling columnist, SVW wrestler, and the manager of Wendy Briese.  If you haven’t figured out by now that he will also be the reason Whitley Mercer will soon be crying herself to sleep at night, sucking her thumb, then you obviously haven’t been paying attention.

POWER X- December 1, 2011

Once again, its time for wrestling manager and analyst Daniel Pollaski to go over the news, reviews, and previews of Femme Fatale Wrestling! All content is the sole opinion of the author and does not reflect the views of Femme Fatale Wrestling, its wrestlers, or administration. Or Wendy Briese, for that matter, so don’t go jumping her in the hallway if you get butthurt about this. Bitch.

The Power-X’s inspirational thought of the week:

I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire
You come to me, come to me wild and wild
When you come to me
Give me everything I need
Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams
Speak a language of love like you know what it means
And it can't be wrong
Take my heart and make it strong baby
You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead
In your heart I see the star of every night and every day
In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away
Just as long as I'm here in your arms
I could be in no better place
You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead
Each time you leave me I start losing control
You're walking away with my heart and my soul
I can feel you even when I'm alone
Oh baby, don't let go
- “Simply the Best” Tina Turner

Hey kids!

Violent Night has come and gone, and for the third FFW Pay Per View in a row, we’re looking at a new FFW Champion in its aftermath.  In what could hardly be considered an upset, Stacey Mackenzie downed Kat Stryfe, capping an incredible run through the Femme For All that gives us our second undefeated champion in the past four months.

I’ve given Stacey a bit of crap over the last couple of weeks over changing her nickname from “The Dreamkiller” to “Simply Better”, but you can’t deny that it does have some truth as we look at the new landscape of FFW.  Stacey proved she’s simply better than Crystal Hate.  She proved she’s simply better than Emma McIntyre.  She proved she’s simply better (although not by much) than Colleen.  And she proved she’s simply better than Katherine Stryfe.  I guess you could say Staceys *ahem* “Simply the Best”

For the record, had she kept the Dreamkiller moniker, we’d all be rocking out to “Fiction (Dreams in Digital)” by Orgy, a WAY cooler song, but ah well, whatchoo gonna do?

So before we get started this week, I’m sure you’ve all noticed that every edition of the Power X kicks off with some sort of inspirational thought, whether a song or a movie quote.  Well, with the interest in the musical selections at a high, and the Holidays coming up, I thought it would be a great idea if you all these inspiring tunes got put on one massive inspiring album.  So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado...  Inspirational Thoughts with Daniel Pollaski: Volume 1!

Front cover.  That would be the Yang Causeway in China.  

Back cover.  That would be Wendy microwaving a casserole.

The perfect gift for any FFW music lover!  Now, this baby’s just gone to print, so don’t expect to see it in stores yet, but if you order before December 12, you’ll get it guaranteed to arrive by Christmas.  All proceeds from the album will be going to benefit the V Foundation for cancer research, created by the legendary basketball coach Jim Valvano, who passed away in 1993 from bone cancer.  You can order it on either the V foundation website, or the FFW online store.  Unfortunately, I’ve been told the earliest we’ll have it in the merchandise booths will be the New Years Retribution show, so if you want it by Christmas, you HAVE to get it online.

Anyways, thanks for listening.  And thanks for reading!  Now, on with the column!


RANKINGS!

So by now, you’ve probably heard the hype I’ve been given the column on Twitter about what Charity Deas and Kelly McGuffin have in common.  And I’m sure Kelly McGuffin is probably about ready to strangle someone nearby at the thought of ever being compared to a Deas.

It’s simple.  They’re two of the five women in the rankings that did not participate in a match at Violent Night (the others being Arabella de Rossi, Arianna Millar, and Rebecca Valentine).

The other thirty-one wrestlers on this weeks rankings slugged it out in thirteen absolutely epic contests that certainly made the whopping four hours this show ran fly by.  And with all the close calls, brilliant efforts, and upsets that went down in those four hours, the rankings have quite a different look to them than they did just two weeks ago.  And the funny thing is, only a couple of people fell any decent amount, all the rest of the shuffling was due to people moving UP, rather than down.  That’s the mark of a good, hotly contested pay-per-view.

Unfortunately, three people have fallen off the rankings completely, as opposed to only two new entries, which lowers the overall list down one from our thirty-seven girls last week.  No surprise here- Mindy Smyth (last ranked 36th) is gone, having FINALLY been fired by the powers that be.  And while I have respect for No Surrender participants Starla McCloud (8th), and Kara Harrington (19th)... seriously, how hard is it to get yourself booked once every sixth show around here?  Unfortunately for these two, harder than you’d think,so for the time being, they drop off. And there’s no holdies, either.

As for everyone else, you know the drill.  Top 25 talks, everyone else walks.  Taking a stoll down Loser Lane THIS week are..

#36- CHARITY DEAS [+1]
#35- SOPHIA BLACK [-5]
#34- CHARLOTTE GAGE [+1]
#33- TABATHA BELMONT [+1]
#32- REBBECCA VALENTINE [+1]
#31- ALYSSA FOXWORTH [-6]
#30- LUMINA FERRARI [+1]
#29- KASSANDRA [=]
#28- ELIZABETH SHOWTIME [NEW]
#27- ALLISON DEAS [+5]
#26- ALYSSON GARDNER [+2]

Too many damned Ali(y)ss(a)ons here.  Thank god Summers is gone.  Allyson Summers, that is.  Not the newcomer who just rocked her way  to a win in the opening match of the PPV.  But we’ll come to that... well, soon.

As for the rest?  Here we go!

#25- ARIANNA MILLAR [+1]
FFW UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION
Ari’s gotta be one happy girl, watching her partner and friend Desirae Kain get a huge victory to win the Chase for the Crown.  But now it’s back into the ring for Ari and Pink Inc- the Eternal Flame want their titles back, and we all know what happened to the last team to beat Kat and Rebbecca in a tag title match- Angelic Cindy lost their belts just a couple weeks later, and never recovered!

#24- ARABELLA DE ROSSI [=]
With the rest of her A-List stablemates going 0-4 at Violent Night, Arabella could do nothing but watch helplessly as that nightmare unfolded.  Considering her already unstable (read: batshit) mentality, that can’t be good for Arabella’s psyche.  It’s probably even worse for the next person to be booked opposite Arabella in a match.

#23- SUMMER [NEW]
Are we in the Southern Hemisphere?  Cause it’s freaking December, and Summer looks like she’s just getting started!  The bubbly debutante came up big in the opening match of Violent Night, which turned out to be one of the best matches on the whole show.  After surviving the dual threat of Gardner and Ferrari, beating Alyssa Foxworthy should be a walk in the park.

#22- JO MCFARLANE [+1]
I hate calling moral victories, but I think you have to give Jo credit- she hung with Wendy, big time, in a match where most people were assuming Briese was going to kill her.  Jo opened a lot of eyes at Violent Night, and she can take a lot of positive momentum from that show.  Now to use it to down the suddenly red-hot Shane Sanders, and pick up a little revenge on behalf of the A-List.

#21- HANNA ELLIOT [-5]
Hanna took about four steps forward when she knocked off Tara Thunder, but then took a step back in falling to Casey Atherton at Violent Night.  Next up for Hanna?  Rematch, and time to prove that win over Tara wasn’t a fluke.  Can’t hurt that Tara’s shiny new Evolution Championship is hanging in the balance as well.

#20- KELLY MCGUFFIN [-3]
Kelly’s hardly the most likeable person on the roster, so it says a lot when she’s the overwhelming fan favorite going into her match against Sophia Black.  That’s what happens when you eagerly look to beat the hell out of someone who’s a universally reknown disgrace to the company.

#19- EMMA MCINTYRE [-4]
Emma became the latest victim to fall to  the Queen Machine Machine, taking a tough loss  at the last second.  With Emma currently not in any title picture, this is probably as good a time as any for Emma to take a few weeks off, in order to reasess her situation, and come back stronger than ever in 2012

#18- CRYSTAL HATE [+2]
It doesn’t really help that it was over the whiny, pathetic, do-nothing Sophia Black, but Crystal Hate still delivered on a big win at Violent Night, and has propelled herself up the ladder to the next stage- against Sophie Richards for the TV title.  Crystal’s had problems going up against the tougher competitionn here in FFW, so the question is- can she deliver the goods, and bring home the bacon?

#17- QUEEN MACHINE [+1]
Even more impressive than her last minute out-of-nowhere win over Emma McIntyre was her ability to focus, even with the distraction of Kaitlynn Stryfe on the entrance ramp.  Jenny’s finally gotten her wish, and she’s got Kaitlynn Stryfe all to herself at Cold Blooded.  Well, all to hers, and Alexader Stryfe’s self.  Could duplicity firmly be in the works here?

#16- DESIRAE KAIN [+6]
FFW UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION
Wait... are we sure that Desirae’s French?  Because she’s fighting better than anyone from that country since Napoleon (and they’re roughly the same size, too!).  In seriousness, it’s amazing how quickly Desi’s taken this company by storm, and that’s with or without Arianna Millar at her side.  That win in the Chase for the Crown Finals was nothing short of spectacular, and now Desi has a chance to become a double champion in her own right!

#15- SHANE SANDERS [+12]
To be honest, I’ve always kind of had Shane pegged as a bit of an underachiever, and I’m starting to think I was right after that absolute jaw-dropping victory over Colleen at Violent Night.  It’s a long time coming for Shane, who returned with a flourish earlier this year, but struggled in surpassing Rori Snyder’s constant attempts to bullshit her.  There was no bullshit, or screwy refereeing here, though.  So now the question becomes- now that the real Shane is waking up, how high can she go?

#14- RAVEN WICKED [-2]
Raven gets bonus points in my book for somehow managing to get ahold of and torture the fuck out of Alvin Shepherd, but when it came down to the Night of Ten Thousand Light Tubes, Raven showed her greener side, and just couldn’t keep up with Camilla’s viciousnesss.  And that’s going to hurt her come Cold Blooded- when the Ultraviolence title goes up for grabs again, Raven will be on the outside looking on.

#13- CASEY ATHERTON [+8]
By hook or by crook (and let’s face it, everything with Casey Atherton is by crook), Casey knocked off Hanna Elliot, and has cemented herself into the suddenly loaded Evolution Divsion.  That should sit well with Casey, who’e begun to develop a severe magpie complex for titles, accolades, and, unless my ears deceived me, husbands as well?  

#12-  ROSE JENKINS [+1]
If the night of 10,000 light tubes was decided purely based on damage done to your opponents, Rosie would have won this match hands down.  But unfortunately, Camilla managed to knock her out at the end, and take the win, and Rose is left with an unfinished job- a theme that’s becoming all too common with her.  It’s already been announced- Rose gets one more shot at Camilla at Cold Blooded, and this time without Raven to get in the way.  If she can’t get the job done here...

#11- CRYSTAL HILTON [-1]
Maybe if Crystal stopped throwing tantrums about Wendy Briese winning Breakout Star of the Year over her, and taking cheap shots and dangling the belt at every opportunity, she might have seen Tara Thunder coming and not dropped by the blonde for the second time in four months.  But she didn’t and she was.  And next up- a main event with ex-FFW Champion Katherine Stryfe!  I hate to say it, but I think this is one rose that has wilted.

#10- EILEEN AMARO [-1]
Sometimes wrestling is a sport of seconds, or even split-seconds, and Eileen unfortunately ended up on the wrong end of one of those split seconds when she came up just short in trying to break up a Desirae Kain pinfall.  As such, a girl who was pretty much considered a shoo-in as the Chase for the Crown winner walks away empty handed.  WEll, save for contributing to three awesome matches, not to mention a shocking win over Rose Jenkins.  And that’s the most telling thing of all about the Chase loss- Eileen’s hardly going to need it.

#9- SOPHIE RICHARDS [+2]
FFW TELEVISION CHAMPION
Considering that Tabatha Belmont worked about as hard as you or I did for that TV title shot, it’s not too much of a surprise that Sophie’s walked out of Violent Night with the title still around her waist.  It gets tougher almost immediately, however, with a quick turnaround at Velocity to face the always dangerous Crystal Hate.  And the winner squares off with Desirae Kain at Cold Blooded.  That’s going to be a tough two matches for Sophie to survive in the coming months.

#8- TARA THUNDER [+6]
FFW EVOLUTION CHAMPION
It was pretty easy to count Tara off after that head-scratcher to Hanna Elliiot, but Tara rebounded in a BIG way by knocking off Crystal Hilton and finally claiming the title for herself.  Now, don’t mean to put any pressure on anyone, but it’s only 12 days between Violent Night and Velocity.  Which means if Hanna Elliot wins... we’re looking at a new record for shortest reign.  Not that I *want* that to happen, of course...

#7- COLLEEN [-4]
If you want the A-List’s night summed up in a single picture, pause Violent Night about two and a half seconds after the conclusion of the Sanders vs. Colleen match.  The expression on Colleen’s face says it all.  That being said, I’ve heard a lot of people eagerly ready to dismiss Colleen as FFW’s Franchise, and relegate her as yet another wannabe.  Not so fast, my friend.  These upsets happen, and it’s more important to see how she responds from here on out than to make a rapid judgement.  In short: this is still one very dangerous woman who’s a threat to anyone on the roster.

#6- KAITLYNN STRYFE [=]
Kitty Mac got thwacked, and as a result, is likely out of the FFW Championship pictue for the time being.  Given that she was practically invincible back in July and August, it’s hard to believe that Kaitlynn struggling so badly right now- she’s lost three of her last four, with the only win coming over Kassandra.  Think it’s any coincidence that the slump started right around the time Queen Machine returned to FFW?  

#5- WENDY BRIESE [+2]
It wasn’t the flat out domination a lot of people expected, but Wendy definitely gave a gritty performance in her win over Jo McFarlane at Violent Night, hanging on through some pretty tough comebacks by the A-Lister before finally managing to put her away.  That clears the road for her and her run to the No Surrender Championship- although Stephanie Sullivan might have a thing or two to say about that.

#4- KATHERINE STRYFE [-3]
The rollercoaster ride that is Kat Stryfe’s career continues, and this is probably one loop-de-loop that Kat wishes was left out.  A month and a half ago, she was a double-champion, holding both the FFW and Unity belts.  Now, she’s got nothing but a sympathetic Rebbecca Valentine as her tag team partner.  She’ll get a rematch at Cold Blooded, but here’s something to watch out for.  History suggests that when Stryfe backslides, she backslides far and hard.  With the FFW of 2012 looking to be even more competitive than the FFW of 2011, this would be a very dangerous time to continue that trend.

#3- CAMILLA PAZZINI [+1]
FFW ULTRA VIOLENCE CHAMPION
It damn near killed Chunks to do it, but she outlasted Rose and Raven again, and picked up another win to retain her UV title.  Which brings up an interesting quandry, given that I’m apparently her next opponent.  Some of those bumps Cammie took at Violent Night were pretty damn severe, and I’m not sure that even with a month-plus to recuperate, she’s going to be a hundred percent.  Which means that the odds on Danny pulling off a miracle at New Years Retribution just got a lot smarter.

#2- SCARLETT KINCAID [+3]
What ring rust?  If anyone here has any idea how Violent Night could have gone any better for Scarlett, I would love to hear it, because the only thing I can think of involves Cody Kincaid cloning himself and offering her a three-way.  Then again, that did kind of happen, because she’s now going into a three way dance at Cold Blooded with a chance to get that FFW title back.  But for now, just sit back and watch that match again- a beautiful, epically fought victory for Scar.

#1- STACEY MACKENZIE
FFW CHAMPION
Not to rip off any Simon Cowell shows here, but you hear a lot of talk about that ‘X-Factor’.  Well, Stacey has it, that quality you can’t easily describe, but it certainly allows her to wrestle at a significantly high level.  It’s been a long coming for “Simply Better” or “The Dreamkiller” or what-the-fuck ever you wanna call her.  But the fact is this- there was very little doubt that Stacey was going to get to the top of the mountain sooner or later, and there’s also very little doubt that she has what it takes to stay there.


And to quote the great Ted Miller... “Don’t like where you are in this week’s power rankings?  Play Better.”


INCOMING!

So here we are on the FFW highway, with Violent Night in the rearview, Cold Blooded on the horizon, and a bunch of really big orange flashing lights for a detour through New Years Retribution.  But before we head to DC for a cross-promotion year end extravaganza, a couple other stops to make first!

VELOCITY- DECEMBER 8- CINCINNATI, OHIO
Personally, I hate coming to Cincy in December, mainly because any time I do, I can’t help but think of that godawfully horrendous Babes in Toyland movie (starring Drew Barrymore and Keaneau Reeves!), and the equally awful C-I-N-C-I-N-N-A-T-I song that goes along with it.  Hopefully Velocity will give us better images than that of a twelve-year old Barrymore sitting on Pat Morita’s (yes, Mr. Miyagi) lap.

Then again, the first match gives us another stomach-churning visual in our own right- CHARITY DEAS!  Cueball goes one-on-one with the debuting Lightning in an apparent gimme welcome-wagon match, while Lightning will hit the ring and discover, to her ever-growing horror, that no one actually knows who she is.  Things get better from there, though.  Sophia Black, fresh off of giving us one of the most pathetic, whiny moments in pro-wrestling history, goes up against Kelly McGuffin, with the promise that if Black tries to lay down (during the match), she’s going to be hospitalized courtesy of a snot-nosed rookie who’s so important to the company she gets booked once a month.

Ouch.

Tag team time, with the number one (kinda) contenders going up against the Danger Queens, who have been on a backslide here in FFW (and yet, strangely, kicking names and taking ass over in SVW).  Hayley and Iggy have been forced to sit out for quite a bit, so look for them to come out flying... if they don’t accidentally poison themselves first.  Following that up should be a VERY interesting match with Jo McFarlane taking on Shane Sanders.  Shane’s got momentum coming off  what might be the biggest upset in FFW history, and Jo’s got a bit of momentum herself after coming close to pulling of an upset in her own right.  This is a true pick-um, and could go either way.

Kassandra and Starla McCloud have advanced in the No Surrender division, and now its time to see who number three is going to be, when Wendy Briese takes on Stephanie Sullivan.  Briese is the obvious favorite, but this match screams trap-door after her emotional win over Jo back at Violent Night.  And I doubt Stephanie is called the ‘technical princess’ for because it’s a catchy name.  

And finally there’s the main event, a rematch for the tag team titles as the Eternal Flame, after a November they’d love to forget, hope to get some momentum back heading towards the end of the year.  But obviously, Pink Inc, which has been on a tear (especially Desirae Kain), are looking to stop them.  It’ll be interesting to see if Pinky’s energy wins out again over the Flame’s (relative) experience advantage.


BREAKING POINT- DECEMBER 17- ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA
And so out west we go to the final official FFW Show of the year, where we’ll all gather at the Pond in Anaheim (and fuck Honda’s naming rights) for one last pre-Christmas beatdown.   Action should kick off, well, one-sidedly, when newcomer Kimberly Aries gets her introductory whupass session, taking on the ever-pathetic Traci Loveheart (dear god, why did Twisted Path have to come back?!).  After that, should be a much more entertaining contest when Alysson Gardner, who’s quickly developing a following here in Femme Fatale Wrestling, goes toe to toe with Sarah Richardson, returning to the ring after a decent hiatus.  Given Sarah’s most infamous in-ring technique, and the, um... globular enormity of Alysson’s, er... assets, this could also be a fairly painful match to watch if you’re a Gardner fan, and she gets into trouble.

Alyssa Foxworthy, fresh off of being bitch-slapped by Desi Kain and Eileen Amaro, hits the ring against Summer, who turned a lot of heads in her debut, and hopes to keep that momentum going into 2012.  Look for Summer to waylay the hapless Alyssa here.  And then comes three HUGE matches, starting with the FFW Television Championship, when Sophie actually has to defend her belt against someone who EARNED their shot.  Crystal Hate’s a dangerous challenger, but Sophie’s a strong champion, so it will be interesting to see who wins here, and manages to carry the belt into Cold Blooded.

And then a double main event is on tap, starting with the Evolution Championship.  Hanna’s earned this, alright, being the last person to beat Tara Thunder, but at the same time, she’s going to have to wrestle a HELL of a lot better than she did against Casey Atherton if she hopes to walk out of this the winner.  And in the main event, probably the women who suffered the two biggest letdowns at Violent Night go at it.  Both Crystal Hilton and Katherine Stryfe have got to be hoping for a big rebound here, so expect to see a pretty good match.   And finally, a match Kat’s favored to win!


AWARDS!

So, before we hit this weeks awards, let me get you in on a bit of a backstory on how this came to be about.  There’s a new columnist in town, a young pink-haired lady by the name of Gabrielle Crimson, who’s Cat’s Eye column is gaining in popularity.  Now, I’m sure a lot of people were wondering if the Pollaskinator is going to be jealous that there’s another kid on the block.  And to that, I say “no’.  Mainly for two reasons.

1. FFW is a huge place, with a lot of shit going down.  Nothing wrong with another perspective on it.
2. Caltech scientists have recently proven that it is mathematically impossible to write a better pro-wrestling column than the Power-X, so I don’t really feel threatened.  I’d get into the specifics of this amazing discovery, but like I said, there’s math involved.  You wouldn’t get it.

So as it so happens, though, Ms. Crimson is best friends with incoming sensation Alysson Gardner.  So, when I approached Aly about possibly doing the awards for this week, Gabrielle counteroffered with a deal- Alysson will do my awards, and Wendy offers herself up for an interview for her Cat’s Eye column.  How can you say no to that?

Anyways, you can check out Gabrielle’s column, complete with Wendy interview,  here: http://ffw.freesmfhosting.com/index.php/topic,1299.msg4642.html#new

Although I’d appreciate it if you finished mine first :).

Anyways, take it away, Miss Gardner!

Match of the Week - Camilla Pazzini vs. Rose Jenkins vs. Raven Wicked
If I mentioned one of the two main events here, it would be a fucking given, because there's a reason people are in main events - because they can put on a BIG show. So instead of going with the obvious here, I've decided to throw an alternative, because there was no way Kat Stryfe and S-Mack or Kitty Stryfe or Scarlett wouldn't make it to Match of the Week.

I don't know if people know, but I'm a huge hardcore fan, and these women really made justice to the name of the match - the Night of 10.000 Light Tubes. There's a reason this division is called Ultra Violence, and it showed. Camilla Pazzini showed why she is the champion of this division by being borderline criminal to her opponents there, and Raven was even more violent. There was a moment in there that I actually thought Raven would incapacitate Camilla for good! Thankfully, it never happened. The three women involved should be proud of their scars, because they're going to be the reminders of an awesome, brutal and unforgiving match in where anyone could have walked out as a champion at any given time.

Someone once told me that title belts come and go, but scars last forever.  Which is why Zangief is such a badass.  Anyways, runners up!
- Summer vs. Gardner vs. Ferrari  (Why not?  Seriously, to go out there and kick off this four hour monstrosity with the match these three did was pretty damned impressive.  Even if Summer won, the other two looked damned amazing.  A big kudos two all three!)
- Thunder vs. Hilton (I told you guys that this match reeked of desperation, and when the cover came off, the stench filled the entire arena.  Whatever it was on the nose, however, it was a damned good match on the eyes, with both women going for broke over the Evolution Championship.  The end result’s simple- Tara stopped her slide, Crystal only put hers on a steeper slope.)

Winner of the Week: Stacey Mackenzie
Was there any other option? I mean, the woman is eleven-goddamn-oh. Had an epic match against Katherine Stryfe, kept her streak intact and went home with the big one. It can't get any better than that. I wonder if there's anyone capable of stopping this woman right now.

There is always someone capapble of beating you, and Stacey Mac is no exception.  But if anyone knows where that person is, I’d love to hear it.
- Scarlett Kincaid (That was a gorgeous in-ring return for the FFW “face of the year”, and, even more amazing in that Kitty threw trick after trick after blullshit at her, and she still managed to weather it.  Scarlett’s back, and in a big way, kids!)
- Shane Sanders (I haven’t been waving the upset of the year flag throughout this entire column for nothing)

Loser of the Week: Alysson Gardner
Because I'm not in position to drop any names here, when I actually lost my match! I'm always saying this - wrestling is about being ready and prepared, and yet I foiund myself laying on my back for the three-count. Summer... She's good. She's damn good. She has passion and energy, and I feel no shame at all for losing to her. But it can't become a habit. I can't allow myself to be in that position again.

That’s absolutely adorable that you chose to fall on the grenade, Alysson, but come on!  First of all, the loser of the week isn’t an insult in an of itself (although it certainly can be!), just points out the person who had the biggest setback.  Second, there’s a MUCH better candidate for this award, but you gave her a different one.  Anyways..
- The A-List (I’d elaborate, but they say a picture is worth a thousand words, and, well, I have a thousand BEAUTIFUL words below in this weeks Meme.)
- Raven Wicked (Well, the nice thing about Raven is that she genuinely looked like she enjoyed most of that travesty that was the Night of 10,000 light tubes. But being pinned in that match takes her out of the UV title picture- for now.

Douchebag of the Week: Sophia Black
You DON'T threaten to lay down in a match if you're a honored wrestler. And you DON'T threaten to lay down in a PAY-PER-VIEW match if you're a SANE wrestler. I mean, what the fuck, Sophia?! You can't work your way up the ranks by, say, WINNING matches, so you throw a hissy fit and say you're gonna lay down? And you have the fucking nerve to say Crystal Hate doesn't deserve a Television Championship shot?! Grow a pair, bitch! That's the best way NOT to deserve a damn title shot, and you sure doesn't deserve one now. You're giving more and more reasons for the management to be pissed of at you. Enjoy your Douche of the Week award; that's the only accomplishment you'll be getting.

While you certainly make some excellent points here, Aly, there’s one thing you have to keep in mind.  Most people think of the Douchebag of the Week award as some sort of accomplishment, and we all know that Sophia Black and accomplishment are so opposite of each other, you could probably create a magnetic field using Sophia and a title belt as the poles.  Anyways, my runners up...
- Elizabeth Blackwell (As someone who loves more than his fair share of lesbo-fondling, even I had to take a step back and go WHAT THE FUCK? over the way she molested Tabatha Belmont)
- Starla McCloud (Spekaing of lesbo-fondling, Alex Adonis has somehow managed to get his way into a lifetime of three-ways with two smokin’ redheads (the bastard!).  Starla, however, seems to be a bit on the cold fish side.  Buzzkill.)

Once again, a very special thank you to Alysson Gardner, for offering up her insight.  And remember, you can check out this hot newcomer next Breaking Point, when she faces Sarah Richardson

MEME OF THE WEEK!

Just a little something to get you all into the Holiday spirit..

ANyways, thanks for reading!  I’ll see you guys in just a couple of weeks, with some more rankings, awards, and a preview of the upcoming New Years Retribution Supershow!  Until then...

POLLA OUT!

Daniel Pollaski is an freelance wrestling columnist, SVW wrestler, and the manager of Wendy Briese.  Just a reminder, you can only purchase the Inspirational Thoughts CD from the FFW online store, or the V Foundation website www.jimmyv.org