Once again, its time for wrestling manager and analyst Daniel Pollaski to go over the news, reviews, and previews of Femme Fatale Wrestling! All content is the sole opinion of the author and does not reflect the views of Femme Fatale Wrestling, its wrestlers, or administration. Or Wendy Briese, for that matter, so don’t go jumping her in the hallway if you get butthurt about this. Bitch.
The Power-X’s inspirational thought of the week:
I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire
You come to me, come to me wild and wild
When you come to me
Give me everything I need
Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams
Speak a language of love like you know what it means
And it can't be wrong
Take my heart and make it strong baby
You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead
In your heart I see the star of every night and every day
In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away
Just as long as I'm here in your arms
I could be in no better place
You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead
Each time you leave me I start losing control
You're walking away with my heart and my soul
I can feel you even when I'm alone
Oh baby, don't let go
- “Simply the Best” Tina Turner
Hey kids!
Violent Night has come and gone, and for the third FFW Pay Per View in a row, we’re looking at a new FFW Champion in its aftermath. In what could hardly be considered an upset, Stacey Mackenzie downed Kat Stryfe, capping an incredible run through the Femme For All that gives us our second undefeated champion in the past four months.
I’ve given Stacey a bit of crap over the last couple of weeks over changing her nickname from “The Dreamkiller” to “Simply Better”, but you can’t deny that it does have some truth as we look at the new landscape of FFW. Stacey proved she’s simply better than Crystal Hate. She proved she’s simply better than Emma McIntyre. She proved she’s simply better (although not by much) than Colleen. And she proved she’s simply better than Katherine Stryfe. I guess you could say Staceys *ahem* “Simply the Best”
For the record, had she kept the Dreamkiller moniker, we’d all be rocking out to “Fiction (Dreams in Digital)” by Orgy, a WAY cooler song, but ah well, whatchoo gonna do?
So before we get started this week, I’m sure you’ve all noticed that every edition of the Power X kicks off with some sort of inspirational thought, whether a song or a movie quote. Well, with the interest in the musical selections at a high, and the Holidays coming up, I thought it would be a great idea if you all these inspiring tunes got put on one massive inspiring album. So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado... Inspirational Thoughts with Daniel Pollaski: Volume 1!
The Power-X’s inspirational thought of the week:
I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire
You come to me, come to me wild and wild
When you come to me
Give me everything I need
Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams
Speak a language of love like you know what it means
And it can't be wrong
Take my heart and make it strong baby
You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead
In your heart I see the star of every night and every day
In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away
Just as long as I'm here in your arms
I could be in no better place
You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead
Each time you leave me I start losing control
You're walking away with my heart and my soul
I can feel you even when I'm alone
Oh baby, don't let go
- “Simply the Best” Tina Turner
Hey kids!
Violent Night has come and gone, and for the third FFW Pay Per View in a row, we’re looking at a new FFW Champion in its aftermath. In what could hardly be considered an upset, Stacey Mackenzie downed Kat Stryfe, capping an incredible run through the Femme For All that gives us our second undefeated champion in the past four months.
I’ve given Stacey a bit of crap over the last couple of weeks over changing her nickname from “The Dreamkiller” to “Simply Better”, but you can’t deny that it does have some truth as we look at the new landscape of FFW. Stacey proved she’s simply better than Crystal Hate. She proved she’s simply better than Emma McIntyre. She proved she’s simply better (although not by much) than Colleen. And she proved she’s simply better than Katherine Stryfe. I guess you could say Staceys *ahem* “Simply the Best”
For the record, had she kept the Dreamkiller moniker, we’d all be rocking out to “Fiction (Dreams in Digital)” by Orgy, a WAY cooler song, but ah well, whatchoo gonna do?
So before we get started this week, I’m sure you’ve all noticed that every edition of the Power X kicks off with some sort of inspirational thought, whether a song or a movie quote. Well, with the interest in the musical selections at a high, and the Holidays coming up, I thought it would be a great idea if you all these inspiring tunes got put on one massive inspiring album. So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado... Inspirational Thoughts with Daniel Pollaski: Volume 1!
 |
| Front cover. That would be the Yang Causeway in China. |
 |
| Back cover. That would be Wendy microwaving a casserole. |
The perfect gift for any FFW music lover! Now, this baby’s just gone to print, so don’t expect to see it in stores yet, but if you order before December 12, you’ll get it guaranteed to arrive by Christmas. All proceeds from the album will be going to benefit the V Foundation for cancer research, created by the legendary basketball coach Jim Valvano, who passed away in 1993 from bone cancer. You can order it on either the V foundation website, or the FFW online store. Unfortunately, I’ve been told the earliest we’ll have it in the merchandise booths will be the New Years Retribution show, so if you want it by Christmas, you HAVE to get it online.
Anyways, thanks for listening. And thanks for reading! Now, on with the column!
RANKINGS!
Anyways, thanks for listening. And thanks for reading! Now, on with the column!
RANKINGS!
So by now, you’ve probably heard the hype I’ve been given the column on Twitter about what Charity Deas and Kelly McGuffin have in common. And I’m sure Kelly McGuffin is probably about ready to strangle someone nearby at the thought of ever being compared to a Deas.
It’s simple. They’re two of the five women in the rankings that did not participate in a match at Violent Night (the others being Arabella de Rossi, Arianna Millar, and Rebecca Valentine).
The other thirty-one wrestlers on this weeks rankings slugged it out in thirteen absolutely epic contests that certainly made the whopping four hours this show ran fly by. And with all the close calls, brilliant efforts, and upsets that went down in those four hours, the rankings have quite a different look to them than they did just two weeks ago. And the funny thing is, only a couple of people fell any decent amount, all the rest of the shuffling was due to people moving UP, rather than down. That’s the mark of a good, hotly contested pay-per-view.
Unfortunately, three people have fallen off the rankings completely, as opposed to only two new entries, which lowers the overall list down one from our thirty-seven girls last week. No surprise here- Mindy Smyth (last ranked 36th) is gone, having FINALLY been fired by the powers that be. And while I have respect for No Surrender participants Starla McCloud (8th), and Kara Harrington (19th)... seriously, how hard is it to get yourself booked once every sixth show around here? Unfortunately for these two, harder than you’d think,so for the time being, they drop off. And there’s no holdies, either.
As for everyone else, you know the drill. Top 25 talks, everyone else walks. Taking a stoll down Loser Lane THIS week are..
#36- CHARITY DEAS [+1]
#35- SOPHIA BLACK [-5]
#34- CHARLOTTE GAGE [+1]
#33- TABATHA BELMONT [+1]
#32- REBBECCA VALENTINE [+1]
#31- ALYSSA FOXWORTH [-6]
#30- LUMINA FERRARI [+1]
#29- KASSANDRA [=]
#28- ELIZABETH SHOWTIME [NEW]
#27- ALLISON DEAS [+5]
#26- ALYSSON GARDNER [+2]
Too many damned Ali(y)ss(a)ons here. Thank god Summers is gone. Allyson Summers, that is. Not the newcomer who just rocked her way to a win in the opening match of the PPV. But we’ll come to that... well, soon.
As for the rest? Here we go!
#25- ARIANNA MILLAR [+1]
FFW UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION
Ari’s gotta be one happy girl, watching her partner and friend Desirae Kain get a huge victory to win the Chase for the Crown. But now it’s back into the ring for Ari and Pink Inc- the Eternal Flame want their titles back, and we all know what happened to the last team to beat Kat and Rebbecca in a tag title match- Angelic Cindy lost their belts just a couple weeks later, and never recovered!
#24- ARABELLA DE ROSSI [=]
With the rest of her A-List stablemates going 0-4 at Violent Night, Arabella could do nothing but watch helplessly as that nightmare unfolded. Considering her already unstable (read: batshit) mentality, that can’t be good for Arabella’s psyche. It’s probably even worse for the next person to be booked opposite Arabella in a match.
#23- SUMMER [NEW]
Are we in the Southern Hemisphere? Cause it’s freaking December, and Summer looks like she’s just getting started! The bubbly debutante came up big in the opening match of Violent Night, which turned out to be one of the best matches on the whole show. After surviving the dual threat of Gardner and Ferrari, beating Alyssa Foxworthy should be a walk in the park.
#22- JO MCFARLANE [+1]
I hate calling moral victories, but I think you have to give Jo credit- she hung with Wendy, big time, in a match where most people were assuming Briese was going to kill her. Jo opened a lot of eyes at Violent Night, and she can take a lot of positive momentum from that show. Now to use it to down the suddenly red-hot Shane Sanders, and pick up a little revenge on behalf of the A-List.
#21- HANNA ELLIOT [-5]
Hanna took about four steps forward when she knocked off Tara Thunder, but then took a step back in falling to Casey Atherton at Violent Night. Next up for Hanna? Rematch, and time to prove that win over Tara wasn’t a fluke. Can’t hurt that Tara’s shiny new Evolution Championship is hanging in the balance as well.
#20- KELLY MCGUFFIN [-3]
Kelly’s hardly the most likeable person on the roster, so it says a lot when she’s the overwhelming fan favorite going into her match against Sophia Black. That’s what happens when you eagerly look to beat the hell out of someone who’s a universally reknown disgrace to the company.
#19- EMMA MCINTYRE [-4]
Emma became the latest victim to fall to the Queen Machine Machine, taking a tough loss at the last second. With Emma currently not in any title picture, this is probably as good a time as any for Emma to take a few weeks off, in order to reasess her situation, and come back stronger than ever in 2012
#18- CRYSTAL HATE [+2]
It doesn’t really help that it was over the whiny, pathetic, do-nothing Sophia Black, but Crystal Hate still delivered on a big win at Violent Night, and has propelled herself up the ladder to the next stage- against Sophie Richards for the TV title. Crystal’s had problems going up against the tougher competitionn here in FFW, so the question is- can she deliver the goods, and bring home the bacon?
#17- QUEEN MACHINE [+1]
Even more impressive than her last minute out-of-nowhere win over Emma McIntyre was her ability to focus, even with the distraction of Kaitlynn Stryfe on the entrance ramp. Jenny’s finally gotten her wish, and she’s got Kaitlynn Stryfe all to herself at Cold Blooded. Well, all to hers, and Alexader Stryfe’s self. Could duplicity firmly be in the works here?
#16- DESIRAE KAIN [+6]
FFW UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION
Wait... are we sure that Desirae’s French? Because she’s fighting better than anyone from that country since Napoleon (and they’re roughly the same size, too!). In seriousness, it’s amazing how quickly Desi’s taken this company by storm, and that’s with or without Arianna Millar at her side. That win in the Chase for the Crown Finals was nothing short of spectacular, and now Desi has a chance to become a double champion in her own right!
#15- SHANE SANDERS [+12]
To be honest, I’ve always kind of had Shane pegged as a bit of an underachiever, and I’m starting to think I was right after that absolute jaw-dropping victory over Colleen at Violent Night. It’s a long time coming for Shane, who returned with a flourish earlier this year, but struggled in surpassing Rori Snyder’s constant attempts to bullshit her. There was no bullshit, or screwy refereeing here, though. So now the question becomes- now that the real Shane is waking up, how high can she go?
#14- RAVEN WICKED [-2]
Raven gets bonus points in my book for somehow managing to get ahold of and torture the fuck out of Alvin Shepherd, but when it came down to the Night of Ten Thousand Light Tubes, Raven showed her greener side, and just couldn’t keep up with Camilla’s viciousnesss. And that’s going to hurt her come Cold Blooded- when the Ultraviolence title goes up for grabs again, Raven will be on the outside looking on.
#13- CASEY ATHERTON [+8]
By hook or by crook (and let’s face it, everything with Casey Atherton is by crook), Casey knocked off Hanna Elliot, and has cemented herself into the suddenly loaded Evolution Divsion. That should sit well with Casey, who’e begun to develop a severe magpie complex for titles, accolades, and, unless my ears deceived me, husbands as well?
#12- ROSE JENKINS [+1]
If the night of 10,000 light tubes was decided purely based on damage done to your opponents, Rosie would have won this match hands down. But unfortunately, Camilla managed to knock her out at the end, and take the win, and Rose is left with an unfinished job- a theme that’s becoming all too common with her. It’s already been announced- Rose gets one more shot at Camilla at Cold Blooded, and this time without Raven to get in the way. If she can’t get the job done here...
#11- CRYSTAL HILTON [-1]
Maybe if Crystal stopped throwing tantrums about Wendy Briese winning Breakout Star of the Year over her, and taking cheap shots and dangling the belt at every opportunity, she might have seen Tara Thunder coming and not dropped by the blonde for the second time in four months. But she didn’t and she was. And next up- a main event with ex-FFW Champion Katherine Stryfe! I hate to say it, but I think this is one rose that has wilted.
#10- EILEEN AMARO [-1]
Sometimes wrestling is a sport of seconds, or even split-seconds, and Eileen unfortunately ended up on the wrong end of one of those split seconds when she came up just short in trying to break up a Desirae Kain pinfall. As such, a girl who was pretty much considered a shoo-in as the Chase for the Crown winner walks away empty handed. WEll, save for contributing to three awesome matches, not to mention a shocking win over Rose Jenkins. And that’s the most telling thing of all about the Chase loss- Eileen’s hardly going to need it.
#9- SOPHIE RICHARDS [+2]
FFW TELEVISION CHAMPION
Considering that Tabatha Belmont worked about as hard as you or I did for that TV title shot, it’s not too much of a surprise that Sophie’s walked out of Violent Night with the title still around her waist. It gets tougher almost immediately, however, with a quick turnaround at Velocity to face the always dangerous Crystal Hate. And the winner squares off with Desirae Kain at Cold Blooded. That’s going to be a tough two matches for Sophie to survive in the coming months.
#8- TARA THUNDER [+6]
FFW EVOLUTION CHAMPION
It was pretty easy to count Tara off after that head-scratcher to Hanna Elliiot, but Tara rebounded in a BIG way by knocking off Crystal Hilton and finally claiming the title for herself. Now, don’t mean to put any pressure on anyone, but it’s only 12 days between Violent Night and Velocity. Which means if Hanna Elliot wins... we’re looking at a new record for shortest reign. Not that I *want* that to happen, of course...
#7- COLLEEN [-4]
If you want the A-List’s night summed up in a single picture, pause Violent Night about two and a half seconds after the conclusion of the Sanders vs. Colleen match. The expression on Colleen’s face says it all. That being said, I’ve heard a lot of people eagerly ready to dismiss Colleen as FFW’s Franchise, and relegate her as yet another wannabe. Not so fast, my friend. These upsets happen, and it’s more important to see how she responds from here on out than to make a rapid judgement. In short: this is still one very dangerous woman who’s a threat to anyone on the roster.
#6- KAITLYNN STRYFE [=]
Kitty Mac got thwacked, and as a result, is likely out of the FFW Championship pictue for the time being. Given that she was practically invincible back in July and August, it’s hard to believe that Kaitlynn struggling so badly right now- she’s lost three of her last four, with the only win coming over Kassandra. Think it’s any coincidence that the slump started right around the time Queen Machine returned to FFW?
#5- WENDY BRIESE [+2]
It wasn’t the flat out domination a lot of people expected, but Wendy definitely gave a gritty performance in her win over Jo McFarlane at Violent Night, hanging on through some pretty tough comebacks by the A-Lister before finally managing to put her away. That clears the road for her and her run to the No Surrender Championship- although Stephanie Sullivan might have a thing or two to say about that.
#4- KATHERINE STRYFE [-3]
The rollercoaster ride that is Kat Stryfe’s career continues, and this is probably one loop-de-loop that Kat wishes was left out. A month and a half ago, she was a double-champion, holding both the FFW and Unity belts. Now, she’s got nothing but a sympathetic Rebbecca Valentine as her tag team partner. She’ll get a rematch at Cold Blooded, but here’s something to watch out for. History suggests that when Stryfe backslides, she backslides far and hard. With the FFW of 2012 looking to be even more competitive than the FFW of 2011, this would be a very dangerous time to continue that trend.
#3- CAMILLA PAZZINI [+1]
FFW ULTRA VIOLENCE CHAMPION
It damn near killed Chunks to do it, but she outlasted Rose and Raven again, and picked up another win to retain her UV title. Which brings up an interesting quandry, given that I’m apparently her next opponent. Some of those bumps Cammie took at Violent Night were pretty damn severe, and I’m not sure that even with a month-plus to recuperate, she’s going to be a hundred percent. Which means that the odds on Danny pulling off a miracle at New Years Retribution just got a lot smarter.
#2- SCARLETT KINCAID [+3]
What ring rust? If anyone here has any idea how Violent Night could have gone any better for Scarlett, I would love to hear it, because the only thing I can think of involves Cody Kincaid cloning himself and offering her a three-way. Then again, that did kind of happen, because she’s now going into a three way dance at Cold Blooded with a chance to get that FFW title back. But for now, just sit back and watch that match again- a beautiful, epically fought victory for Scar.
#1- STACEY MACKENZIE
FFW CHAMPION
Not to rip off any Simon Cowell shows here, but you hear a lot of talk about that ‘X-Factor’. Well, Stacey has it, that quality you can’t easily describe, but it certainly allows her to wrestle at a significantly high level. It’s been a long coming for “Simply Better” or “The Dreamkiller” or what-the-fuck ever you wanna call her. But the fact is this- there was very little doubt that Stacey was going to get to the top of the mountain sooner or later, and there’s also very little doubt that she has what it takes to stay there.
And to quote the great Ted Miller... “Don’t like where you are in this week’s power rankings? Play Better.”
INCOMING!
So here we are on the FFW highway, with Violent Night in the rearview, Cold Blooded on the horizon, and a bunch of really big orange flashing lights for a detour through New Years Retribution. But before we head to DC for a cross-promotion year end extravaganza, a couple other stops to make first!
VELOCITY- DECEMBER 8- CINCINNATI, OHIO
Personally, I hate coming to Cincy in December, mainly because any time I do, I can’t help but think of that godawfully horrendous Babes in Toyland movie (starring Drew Barrymore and Keaneau Reeves!), and the equally awful C-I-N-C-I-N-N-A-T-I song that goes along with it. Hopefully Velocity will give us better images than that of a twelve-year old Barrymore sitting on Pat Morita’s (yes, Mr. Miyagi) lap.
Then again, the first match gives us another stomach-churning visual in our own right- CHARITY DEAS! Cueball goes one-on-one with the debuting Lightning in an apparent gimme welcome-wagon match, while Lightning will hit the ring and discover, to her ever-growing horror, that no one actually knows who she is. Things get better from there, though. Sophia Black, fresh off of giving us one of the most pathetic, whiny moments in pro-wrestling history, goes up against Kelly McGuffin, with the promise that if Black tries to lay down (during the match), she’s going to be hospitalized courtesy of a snot-nosed rookie who’s so important to the company she gets booked once a month.
Ouch.
Tag team time, with the number one (kinda) contenders going up against the Danger Queens, who have been on a backslide here in FFW (and yet, strangely, kicking names and taking ass over in SVW). Hayley and Iggy have been forced to sit out for quite a bit, so look for them to come out flying... if they don’t accidentally poison themselves first. Following that up should be a VERY interesting match with Jo McFarlane taking on Shane Sanders. Shane’s got momentum coming off what might be the biggest upset in FFW history, and Jo’s got a bit of momentum herself after coming close to pulling of an upset in her own right. This is a true pick-um, and could go either way.
Kassandra and Starla McCloud have advanced in the No Surrender division, and now its time to see who number three is going to be, when Wendy Briese takes on Stephanie Sullivan. Briese is the obvious favorite, but this match screams trap-door after her emotional win over Jo back at Violent Night. And I doubt Stephanie is called the ‘technical princess’ for because it’s a catchy name.
And finally there’s the main event, a rematch for the tag team titles as the Eternal Flame, after a November they’d love to forget, hope to get some momentum back heading towards the end of the year. But obviously, Pink Inc, which has been on a tear (especially Desirae Kain), are looking to stop them. It’ll be interesting to see if Pinky’s energy wins out again over the Flame’s (relative) experience advantage.
BREAKING POINT- DECEMBER 17- ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA
And so out west we go to the final official FFW Show of the year, where we’ll all gather at the Pond in Anaheim (and fuck Honda’s naming rights) for one last pre-Christmas beatdown. Action should kick off, well, one-sidedly, when newcomer Kimberly Aries gets her introductory whupass session, taking on the ever-pathetic Traci Loveheart (dear god, why did Twisted Path have to come back?!). After that, should be a much more entertaining contest when Alysson Gardner, who’s quickly developing a following here in Femme Fatale Wrestling, goes toe to toe with Sarah Richardson, returning to the ring after a decent hiatus. Given Sarah’s most infamous in-ring technique, and the, um... globular enormity of Alysson’s, er... assets, this could also be a fairly painful match to watch if you’re a Gardner fan, and she gets into trouble.
Alyssa Foxworthy, fresh off of being bitch-slapped by Desi Kain and Eileen Amaro, hits the ring against Summer, who turned a lot of heads in her debut, and hopes to keep that momentum going into 2012. Look for Summer to waylay the hapless Alyssa here. And then comes three HUGE matches, starting with the FFW Television Championship, when Sophie actually has to defend her belt against someone who EARNED their shot. Crystal Hate’s a dangerous challenger, but Sophie’s a strong champion, so it will be interesting to see who wins here, and manages to carry the belt into Cold Blooded.
And then a double main event is on tap, starting with the Evolution Championship. Hanna’s earned this, alright, being the last person to beat Tara Thunder, but at the same time, she’s going to have to wrestle a HELL of a lot better than she did against Casey Atherton if she hopes to walk out of this the winner. And in the main event, probably the women who suffered the two biggest letdowns at Violent Night go at it. Both Crystal Hilton and Katherine Stryfe have got to be hoping for a big rebound here, so expect to see a pretty good match. And finally, a match Kat’s favored to win!
AWARDS!
VELOCITY- DECEMBER 8- CINCINNATI, OHIO
Personally, I hate coming to Cincy in December, mainly because any time I do, I can’t help but think of that godawfully horrendous Babes in Toyland movie (starring Drew Barrymore and Keaneau Reeves!), and the equally awful C-I-N-C-I-N-N-A-T-I song that goes along with it. Hopefully Velocity will give us better images than that of a twelve-year old Barrymore sitting on Pat Morita’s (yes, Mr. Miyagi) lap.
Then again, the first match gives us another stomach-churning visual in our own right- CHARITY DEAS! Cueball goes one-on-one with the debuting Lightning in an apparent gimme welcome-wagon match, while Lightning will hit the ring and discover, to her ever-growing horror, that no one actually knows who she is. Things get better from there, though. Sophia Black, fresh off of giving us one of the most pathetic, whiny moments in pro-wrestling history, goes up against Kelly McGuffin, with the promise that if Black tries to lay down (during the match), she’s going to be hospitalized courtesy of a snot-nosed rookie who’s so important to the company she gets booked once a month.
Ouch.
Tag team time, with the number one (kinda) contenders going up against the Danger Queens, who have been on a backslide here in FFW (and yet, strangely, kicking names and taking ass over in SVW). Hayley and Iggy have been forced to sit out for quite a bit, so look for them to come out flying... if they don’t accidentally poison themselves first. Following that up should be a VERY interesting match with Jo McFarlane taking on Shane Sanders. Shane’s got momentum coming off what might be the biggest upset in FFW history, and Jo’s got a bit of momentum herself after coming close to pulling of an upset in her own right. This is a true pick-um, and could go either way.
Kassandra and Starla McCloud have advanced in the No Surrender division, and now its time to see who number three is going to be, when Wendy Briese takes on Stephanie Sullivan. Briese is the obvious favorite, but this match screams trap-door after her emotional win over Jo back at Violent Night. And I doubt Stephanie is called the ‘technical princess’ for because it’s a catchy name.
And finally there’s the main event, a rematch for the tag team titles as the Eternal Flame, after a November they’d love to forget, hope to get some momentum back heading towards the end of the year. But obviously, Pink Inc, which has been on a tear (especially Desirae Kain), are looking to stop them. It’ll be interesting to see if Pinky’s energy wins out again over the Flame’s (relative) experience advantage.
BREAKING POINT- DECEMBER 17- ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA
And so out west we go to the final official FFW Show of the year, where we’ll all gather at the Pond in Anaheim (and fuck Honda’s naming rights) for one last pre-Christmas beatdown. Action should kick off, well, one-sidedly, when newcomer Kimberly Aries gets her introductory whupass session, taking on the ever-pathetic Traci Loveheart (dear god, why did Twisted Path have to come back?!). After that, should be a much more entertaining contest when Alysson Gardner, who’s quickly developing a following here in Femme Fatale Wrestling, goes toe to toe with Sarah Richardson, returning to the ring after a decent hiatus. Given Sarah’s most infamous in-ring technique, and the, um... globular enormity of Alysson’s, er... assets, this could also be a fairly painful match to watch if you’re a Gardner fan, and she gets into trouble.
Alyssa Foxworthy, fresh off of being bitch-slapped by Desi Kain and Eileen Amaro, hits the ring against Summer, who turned a lot of heads in her debut, and hopes to keep that momentum going into 2012. Look for Summer to waylay the hapless Alyssa here. And then comes three HUGE matches, starting with the FFW Television Championship, when Sophie actually has to defend her belt against someone who EARNED their shot. Crystal Hate’s a dangerous challenger, but Sophie’s a strong champion, so it will be interesting to see who wins here, and manages to carry the belt into Cold Blooded.
And then a double main event is on tap, starting with the Evolution Championship. Hanna’s earned this, alright, being the last person to beat Tara Thunder, but at the same time, she’s going to have to wrestle a HELL of a lot better than she did against Casey Atherton if she hopes to walk out of this the winner. And in the main event, probably the women who suffered the two biggest letdowns at Violent Night go at it. Both Crystal Hilton and Katherine Stryfe have got to be hoping for a big rebound here, so expect to see a pretty good match. And finally, a match Kat’s favored to win!
AWARDS!
So, before we hit this weeks awards, let me get you in on a bit of a backstory on how this came to be about. There’s a new columnist in town, a young pink-haired lady by the name of Gabrielle Crimson, who’s Cat’s Eye column is gaining in popularity. Now, I’m sure a lot of people were wondering if the Pollaskinator is going to be jealous that there’s another kid on the block. And to that, I say “no’. Mainly for two reasons.
1. FFW is a huge place, with a lot of shit going down. Nothing wrong with another perspective on it.
2. Caltech scientists have recently proven that it is mathematically impossible to write a better pro-wrestling column than the Power-X, so I don’t really feel threatened. I’d get into the specifics of this amazing discovery, but like I said, there’s math involved. You wouldn’t get it.
So as it so happens, though, Ms. Crimson is best friends with incoming sensation Alysson Gardner. So, when I approached Aly about possibly doing the awards for this week, Gabrielle counteroffered with a deal- Alysson will do my awards, and Wendy offers herself up for an interview for her Cat’s Eye column. How can you say no to that?
Anyways, you can check out Gabrielle’s column, complete with Wendy interview, here: http://ffw.freesmfhosting.com/index.php/topic,1299.msg4642.html#new
Although I’d appreciate it if you finished mine first :).
Anyways, take it away, Miss Gardner!
Match of the Week - Camilla Pazzini vs. Rose Jenkins vs. Raven Wicked
If I mentioned one of the two main events here, it would be a fucking given, because there's a reason people are in main events - because they can put on a BIG show. So instead of going with the obvious here, I've decided to throw an alternative, because there was no way Kat Stryfe and S-Mack or Kitty Stryfe or Scarlett wouldn't make it to Match of the Week.
I don't know if people know, but I'm a huge hardcore fan, and these women really made justice to the name of the match - the Night of 10.000 Light Tubes. There's a reason this division is called Ultra Violence, and it showed. Camilla Pazzini showed why she is the champion of this division by being borderline criminal to her opponents there, and Raven was even more violent. There was a moment in there that I actually thought Raven would incapacitate Camilla for good! Thankfully, it never happened. The three women involved should be proud of their scars, because they're going to be the reminders of an awesome, brutal and unforgiving match in where anyone could have walked out as a champion at any given time.
Someone once told me that title belts come and go, but scars last forever. Which is why Zangief is such a badass. Anyways, runners up!
- Summer vs. Gardner vs. Ferrari (Why not? Seriously, to go out there and kick off this four hour monstrosity with the match these three did was pretty damned impressive. Even if Summer won, the other two looked damned amazing. A big kudos two all three!)
- Thunder vs. Hilton (I told you guys that this match reeked of desperation, and when the cover came off, the stench filled the entire arena. Whatever it was on the nose, however, it was a damned good match on the eyes, with both women going for broke over the Evolution Championship. The end result’s simple- Tara stopped her slide, Crystal only put hers on a steeper slope.)
Winner of the Week: Stacey Mackenzie
Was there any other option? I mean, the woman is eleven-goddamn-oh. Had an epic match against Katherine Stryfe, kept her streak intact and went home with the big one. It can't get any better than that. I wonder if there's anyone capable of stopping this woman right now.
There is always someone capapble of beating you, and Stacey Mac is no exception. But if anyone knows where that person is, I’d love to hear it.
- Scarlett Kincaid (That was a gorgeous in-ring return for the FFW “face of the year”, and, even more amazing in that Kitty threw trick after trick after blullshit at her, and she still managed to weather it. Scarlett’s back, and in a big way, kids!)
- Shane Sanders (I haven’t been waving the upset of the year flag throughout this entire column for nothing)
Loser of the Week: Alysson Gardner
Because I'm not in position to drop any names here, when I actually lost my match! I'm always saying this - wrestling is about being ready and prepared, and yet I foiund myself laying on my back for the three-count. Summer... She's good. She's damn good. She has passion and energy, and I feel no shame at all for losing to her. But it can't become a habit. I can't allow myself to be in that position again.
That’s absolutely adorable that you chose to fall on the grenade, Alysson, but come on! First of all, the loser of the week isn’t an insult in an of itself (although it certainly can be!), just points out the person who had the biggest setback. Second, there’s a MUCH better candidate for this award, but you gave her a different one. Anyways..
- The A-List (I’d elaborate, but they say a picture is worth a thousand words, and, well, I have a thousand BEAUTIFUL words below in this weeks Meme.)
- Raven Wicked (Well, the nice thing about Raven is that she genuinely looked like she enjoyed most of that travesty that was the Night of 10,000 light tubes. But being pinned in that match takes her out of the UV title picture- for now.
Douchebag of the Week: Sophia Black
You DON'T threaten to lay down in a match if you're a honored wrestler. And you DON'T threaten to lay down in a PAY-PER-VIEW match if you're a SANE wrestler. I mean, what the fuck, Sophia?! You can't work your way up the ranks by, say, WINNING matches, so you throw a hissy fit and say you're gonna lay down? And you have the fucking nerve to say Crystal Hate doesn't deserve a Television Championship shot?! Grow a pair, bitch! That's the best way NOT to deserve a damn title shot, and you sure doesn't deserve one now. You're giving more and more reasons for the management to be pissed of at you. Enjoy your Douche of the Week award; that's the only accomplishment you'll be getting.
While you certainly make some excellent points here, Aly, there’s one thing you have to keep in mind. Most people think of the Douchebag of the Week award as some sort of accomplishment, and we all know that Sophia Black and accomplishment are so opposite of each other, you could probably create a magnetic field using Sophia and a title belt as the poles. Anyways, my runners up...
- Elizabeth Blackwell (As someone who loves more than his fair share of lesbo-fondling, even I had to take a step back and go WHAT THE FUCK? over the way she molested Tabatha Belmont)
- Starla McCloud (Spekaing of lesbo-fondling, Alex Adonis has somehow managed to get his way into a lifetime of three-ways with two smokin’ redheads (the bastard!). Starla, however, seems to be a bit on the cold fish side. Buzzkill.)
Once again, a very special thank you to Alysson Gardner, for offering up her insight. And remember, you can check out this hot newcomer next Breaking Point, when she faces Sarah Richardson
MEME OF THE WEEK!
1. FFW is a huge place, with a lot of shit going down. Nothing wrong with another perspective on it.
2. Caltech scientists have recently proven that it is mathematically impossible to write a better pro-wrestling column than the Power-X, so I don’t really feel threatened. I’d get into the specifics of this amazing discovery, but like I said, there’s math involved. You wouldn’t get it.
So as it so happens, though, Ms. Crimson is best friends with incoming sensation Alysson Gardner. So, when I approached Aly about possibly doing the awards for this week, Gabrielle counteroffered with a deal- Alysson will do my awards, and Wendy offers herself up for an interview for her Cat’s Eye column. How can you say no to that?
Anyways, you can check out Gabrielle’s column, complete with Wendy interview, here: http://ffw.freesmfhosting.com/index.php/topic,1299.msg4642.html#new
Although I’d appreciate it if you finished mine first :).
Anyways, take it away, Miss Gardner!
Match of the Week - Camilla Pazzini vs. Rose Jenkins vs. Raven Wicked
If I mentioned one of the two main events here, it would be a fucking given, because there's a reason people are in main events - because they can put on a BIG show. So instead of going with the obvious here, I've decided to throw an alternative, because there was no way Kat Stryfe and S-Mack or Kitty Stryfe or Scarlett wouldn't make it to Match of the Week.
I don't know if people know, but I'm a huge hardcore fan, and these women really made justice to the name of the match - the Night of 10.000 Light Tubes. There's a reason this division is called Ultra Violence, and it showed. Camilla Pazzini showed why she is the champion of this division by being borderline criminal to her opponents there, and Raven was even more violent. There was a moment in there that I actually thought Raven would incapacitate Camilla for good! Thankfully, it never happened. The three women involved should be proud of their scars, because they're going to be the reminders of an awesome, brutal and unforgiving match in where anyone could have walked out as a champion at any given time.
Someone once told me that title belts come and go, but scars last forever. Which is why Zangief is such a badass. Anyways, runners up!
- Summer vs. Gardner vs. Ferrari (Why not? Seriously, to go out there and kick off this four hour monstrosity with the match these three did was pretty damned impressive. Even if Summer won, the other two looked damned amazing. A big kudos two all three!)
- Thunder vs. Hilton (I told you guys that this match reeked of desperation, and when the cover came off, the stench filled the entire arena. Whatever it was on the nose, however, it was a damned good match on the eyes, with both women going for broke over the Evolution Championship. The end result’s simple- Tara stopped her slide, Crystal only put hers on a steeper slope.)
Winner of the Week: Stacey Mackenzie
Was there any other option? I mean, the woman is eleven-goddamn-oh. Had an epic match against Katherine Stryfe, kept her streak intact and went home with the big one. It can't get any better than that. I wonder if there's anyone capable of stopping this woman right now.
There is always someone capapble of beating you, and Stacey Mac is no exception. But if anyone knows where that person is, I’d love to hear it.
- Scarlett Kincaid (That was a gorgeous in-ring return for the FFW “face of the year”, and, even more amazing in that Kitty threw trick after trick after blullshit at her, and she still managed to weather it. Scarlett’s back, and in a big way, kids!)
- Shane Sanders (I haven’t been waving the upset of the year flag throughout this entire column for nothing)
Loser of the Week: Alysson Gardner
Because I'm not in position to drop any names here, when I actually lost my match! I'm always saying this - wrestling is about being ready and prepared, and yet I foiund myself laying on my back for the three-count. Summer... She's good. She's damn good. She has passion and energy, and I feel no shame at all for losing to her. But it can't become a habit. I can't allow myself to be in that position again.
That’s absolutely adorable that you chose to fall on the grenade, Alysson, but come on! First of all, the loser of the week isn’t an insult in an of itself (although it certainly can be!), just points out the person who had the biggest setback. Second, there’s a MUCH better candidate for this award, but you gave her a different one. Anyways..
- The A-List (I’d elaborate, but they say a picture is worth a thousand words, and, well, I have a thousand BEAUTIFUL words below in this weeks Meme.)
- Raven Wicked (Well, the nice thing about Raven is that she genuinely looked like she enjoyed most of that travesty that was the Night of 10,000 light tubes. But being pinned in that match takes her out of the UV title picture- for now.
Douchebag of the Week: Sophia Black
You DON'T threaten to lay down in a match if you're a honored wrestler. And you DON'T threaten to lay down in a PAY-PER-VIEW match if you're a SANE wrestler. I mean, what the fuck, Sophia?! You can't work your way up the ranks by, say, WINNING matches, so you throw a hissy fit and say you're gonna lay down? And you have the fucking nerve to say Crystal Hate doesn't deserve a Television Championship shot?! Grow a pair, bitch! That's the best way NOT to deserve a damn title shot, and you sure doesn't deserve one now. You're giving more and more reasons for the management to be pissed of at you. Enjoy your Douche of the Week award; that's the only accomplishment you'll be getting.
While you certainly make some excellent points here, Aly, there’s one thing you have to keep in mind. Most people think of the Douchebag of the Week award as some sort of accomplishment, and we all know that Sophia Black and accomplishment are so opposite of each other, you could probably create a magnetic field using Sophia and a title belt as the poles. Anyways, my runners up...
- Elizabeth Blackwell (As someone who loves more than his fair share of lesbo-fondling, even I had to take a step back and go WHAT THE FUCK? over the way she molested Tabatha Belmont)
- Starla McCloud (Spekaing of lesbo-fondling, Alex Adonis has somehow managed to get his way into a lifetime of three-ways with two smokin’ redheads (the bastard!). Starla, however, seems to be a bit on the cold fish side. Buzzkill.)
Once again, a very special thank you to Alysson Gardner, for offering up her insight. And remember, you can check out this hot newcomer next Breaking Point, when she faces Sarah Richardson
MEME OF THE WEEK!
Just a little something to get you all into the Holiday spirit..
ANyways, thanks for reading! I’ll see you guys in just a couple of weeks, with some more rankings, awards, and a preview of the upcoming New Years Retribution Supershow! Until then...
POLLA OUT!
Daniel Pollaski is an freelance wrestling columnist, SVW wrestler, and the manager of Wendy Briese. Just a reminder, you can only purchase the Inspirational Thoughts CD from the FFW online store, or the V Foundation website www.jimmyv.org
