Once again, its time for wrestling manager and analyst Daniel Pollaski to go over the news, reviews, and previews of Femme Fatale Wrestling! All content is the sole opinion of the author and does not reflect the views of Femme Fatale Wrestling, its wrestlers, or administration. Or Wendy Briese, for that matter, so don’t go jumping her in the hallway if you get butthurt about this. Bitch.
The Power X inspirational thought of the week:
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Like my father's come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began
Wake me up when September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends
- “Wake Me Up When September Ends” Green Day
Hey kids!
Oh, and... BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!
There’s your alarm clock. Rise and shine, cupcake!
The tumultuous month of September is over, and as we move into the final quarter of the year, we step back and admire the newness that seems to be permeating the FFW landscape. After all, Sin & Sacrifice saw all four singles belts leaving with new champions. We continue to get new wrestlers, seemingly every week. (Now with Tabatha Belmont! Yipee!) And now a new look, much shorter Power X. But no less awesome.
RANKINGS!
Alright, here’s the deal. The fact of the matter is that these columns are taking too damn long to write, and are kinda burning me out, especially when I have other, more important things to focus on. And, really, it’s absolutely excruciating to have to pretend to give a shit about the Lovehearts and the Deas’ and Simply Flawless and Mindy Smyth. So starting this week, the focus of the Power X will be on the top 25. Everyone still gets ranked, but I’ll be only doing full entries now for those in the upper echelon.
Three dropouts and four additions this time around, which means forty-seven eligible wrestlers this week, a new all time high. And even more continue to join, although we will be saying goodbye to a handful of girls next week as well. This week, it’s a surprising farewell to Whitley Mercer (last ranked 27th), who’s focusing on her studies at Louisiana Tech. Also dropping out is Kara Harrington (28th), although she’s certainly still on the roster. And gone, seemingly for good, is the luckless Kadence Whesson (45th)
For this weeks current crop, well, here are the unlucky 22 women who just ain’t good enough to merit my full attention.
#47- LILAH CARTER [-1]
#46- CHARITY DEAS [-2]
#45- DESTINY LOVEHEART [-2]
#44- SYD ASHLEY [-2]
#43- FAITH [-2]
#42- GRETCHEN SANDERS [Returning- Last Ranked 26th on July 18]
#41- MINDY SMYTH [-1]
#40- DEVEN KNIGHT [-1]
#39- STEPHANIE SULLIVAN [-1]
#38- HANNA ELLIOT [-3]
#37- MADISON KNIGHT [No Change]
#36- LUMINA FERRARI [No Change]
#35- KASSANDRA [-4]
#34- SOPHIA BLACK [-1]
#33- CHARLOTTE GAGE [-4]
#32- ALYSSA FOXWORTH [NEW]
#31- ALLISON DEAS [+1]
#30- JO MCFARLANE [-4]
#29- SARAH RICHARDSON [+1]
#28- EMMA MCINTYRE [-4]
#27- REBBECCA VALENTINE [-4]- FFW UNITY TAG CHAMPION
#26- ARABELLA DE ROSSI [NEW]
Of those, expect to see Carter, Sanders and Deven Knight off the rankings next week, for various reasons.
And now... THE TOP 25!
#25- DESIRAE KAIN [NEW]
The season 4 Future Shock Champion hit the ground running as part of the official Roster at Sin & Sacrifice, when she helped lead her team to victory in the first round of the Chase for the Crown. Right now, I still have her pegged for the finals, but that tornado tag match at Breaking Point (in which only one person gets eiliminated) is going to throw a lot of wrenches into the system. But for the Questionable call of the week... Arianna Millar? REALLY?
#24- ALYSON SUMMERS [-2]
And as we make way for the next season of Future Shock rookies to enter the main roster, we’re saddened (not really) to report that this will be Alyson Summers’ final ranking. Despite winning Future Shock’s third season, Aly never really found her identity here, and she was quickly over shadowed by the likes of Ignis and Casey Atherton. Oh, lest there be any confusion, that was a ragequit.
#23- EILEEN AMARO [+11]
Now that she’s no longer saddled with a shitty tag partner and trying to overcome one of the best wrestlers in the company on short notice, Eileen finally has a chance to settle into herself, and focus on working her way up the ladder. If her stubborn outing against Colleen didn’t put you on notice, her brilliant performance at Sin & Sacrifice will. I said I have Kain for the finals, well, I have Eileen there too. And I have Eileen walking out of there the winner.
#22- IGNIS [+3]
When you don’t compete at a PPV, you merely sit in the water as the tides jostle and flow around you. In Ignis’ case, it worked out to her advantage. But her big moment comes at Byte This II, when Bounce & Pounce goes up against the Eternally Lame in a nontitle match. We’ve had problems coming up with clear cut #1 contenders for the tag belts but a win here will make it very obvious who the biggest threat to the champs are.
#21- HAYLEY DARK [No Change]
Golly gee, you sure hope Hayley knows what she’s doing here, that’s for sure. Hayley surrendered her bid for the Television Championship this week, deciding she wants to focus with Ignis as Bounce & Pounce. While that cringingly gives the title shot to Tabatha Belmont, we gotta hope that Hayley and Ignis can put themselves into that tag belt.
#20- KELLY MCGUFFIN [-2]
Like Ignis, Kelly mostly just rode the waves, and got pushed a bit further out to sea. No worries- she’s still hotter (in more ways than one!) than any Future Shocked rookie at this point. But for the second straight cycle, she finds herself sitting out. One more time, and she’s going to be off the list entirely.
#19- CRYSTAL HATE [+1]
A solid win over Jo McFarlane, and Crystal just keeps creeping herself higher and higher up the ladder. You have to say her inclusion in the Femme For All was a surprise, although it really isn’t an unwelcome one. But I can’t see her downing Stacey MacKenzie- at least the Stacey MacKenzie of the hype. BUt if she can overcome Stacey, and pop the hype bubble, and get herself into the second round, we’ll all be looking at Hate in an entirely new light.
#18- CASEY ATHERTON [+1]
Apparently Casey likes her wins the way she likes her sex with Alex Adonis- quick and dirty. Casey might not be the true winner of Season 3, but she’s turning out to be the most successful transition to the main roster. With Aly jumping ship so quickly, there’s really not going to be any dispute about that.
#17- PAYTON ST. PIERRE [-3]
From an actual wrestling standpoint, that probably was the best showing we’ve ever seen from Payton. But unfortunately, Sophie wasn’t going to be denied. Had Payton actually let the cage with Will inside drop, I’d have probably kept her on the same line she was. But alas, Will MacKenzie is alive, and I have to move Patyon down.
#16- STACEY MACKENZIE [No Change]
Given that she just took the current champion to a time limit draw in a match that many people think Stryfe stalled in, you know that Stacey’s practically salivating at the thought of winning the Femme For All and facing Stryfe for the title. Well, first things first- and she has to get by Crystal Hate. That *should* happen, but it’s not like we havent’ seen upsets in FFW before. And even if Stacey gets by there, there’s still a lot of talented wrestlers in this tournament between her and the end.
#15- STARLA MCCLOUD [No Change]
Considering the likes of Colleen and Wendy Briese, I’d think that Starla McCloud automatically being the first ever FFW No Surrender Champion is a bit of a premature one. But still, Starla seems content to wait for that title to come into play- which should be shortly. In the meantime, a showdown with ex-stablemate Isabella Pazzini’s in order
#14- RAVEN WICKED [-3]
Raven’s no longer the Ultraviolence Champion, but there’s no denying that she had a hell of a lot of fun out there. It seems to be a telling point that you win the UV title twice, so chances are that we’re going to see Raven taking another chance at the title- and she’ll probably even manage to outdo herself in the “WTF” department!
#13- RORI SNYDER [-1]
It’s tough to allow any movement one way or another after that trainwreck of a hell and a cell, but thirteen seems just a fitting number for Rori, considering that this girl is nothing but bad news. Scarlett may have been the one who jumped, but it was Rori who took the brutality of that match to the next level. Of course, Rori is going to be hospitalized for a while, which isn’t really a bad thing. I suppose finding out that her larynx got crushed and she’ll never be able to talk again is probably too much to hope for.
#12- ROSE JENKINS [-3]
To be honest, when Raven cut open Rose’s forehead in the Crimson Masks match, I was half-expecting motor oil to come dripping out. That’s how much of a machine Rose has been over the past couple of months. I don’t see her slowing down after that, either. Rose’s only match in the next cycle is that battle royal at Byte This II, and you know that she’s going to be the single hardest person to eliminate in that.
#11- SOPHIE RICHARDS [+6]
FFW TELEVISION CHAMPION
Sophie got her belt back, and in a big way, defeating longtime rival Payton St. Pierre. Still, it was a bit... disconcerting to watch Sophie at the controls of the Shark Cage. Not so much that I minded Will dropping to his death, but Sophie looked almost... gleeful over the prospect. I think there might be a sadistic side under Sophie trying to fight its way out.
#10- TARA THUNDER [No Change]
The bad news is that it was only Lilah Carter. The good-news is that was such a thorough and complete ass kicking that when the time came down for me to right the method of victory in my match record (y’know, pinfall, submission, etc.) the only thing I could think of was ‘total annihilation’. Surprisingly, Tara’s off this next cycle.
#9- ROBBYN HELMSLEY [-2]
Robbyn just got unlucky with the ebb and flow here, but she’s got an excellent chance to move up in the next week, when she faces Emma McIntyre in the first round of the Femme For All. Given that Emma apparently forgot how to wrestle during her time off, this should be a solid win for Supergirl. And honestly, Robbyn can’t go around losing to wrestlers her cousin Rori BEAT (other than Colleen), now could she?
#8- CAMILLA PAZZINI [+5]
FFW ULTRAVIOLENCE CHAMPION
Chunks is BACK! Two months after being stunned by Raven, Camilla turned around and took the Ultraviolence title back. About the only thing that could have made Cammy’s night any better is if she could have made Rose bleed herself. But she didn’t, and I think the door is wide open for Rose to come roaring back for her title.
#7- WENDY BRIESE [-2]
On the surface, it looks like Wendy lost a ton at S&S, dropping both the Evolution Championship and any chance she had at being in the Femme For All. But in reality, considering how close she and Crystal have been in that ring, it could be expected that the pendulum would swing the other way once in a while. You know, and I know, and everyone knows that there will be a rubber match in the near future, and you can bet that people are going to be salivating for it. In the meantime, Wendy has to settle for trying to win a battle royal, and taking any remaining frustrations out on Charity Deas.
#6- CRYSTAL HILTON [+3]
FFW EVOLUTION CHAMPION
Crystal’s return home was a successful one, as she took down Wendy in what was almost certainty a must-win match for Hilton to remain relevant at the top of the card. Accomplishing that puts Hilton in a very strong position, as she can sit back and relax and watch the first round of the Femme For All unfold, knowing she’s safe. Well, not too safe, because she’s got Chunks on her dockett, and Cammies packing just as much momentum as Crystal is!
#5- ISABELLA PAZZINI [-2]
Nothing against Isabella, and it’s more like people moved up around her than her actually moving down. Honestly, Isabella’s at a crossroads- she’s obviously out of the FFW Championship picture, considering Samantha’s latest machinations. But to go down to the Evolution Championship would be a considerable, and unnecessary step back (and it’s likely that Sam’s gonna keep Isabella away from ALL titles for the time being). There’s only one thing left... REVENGE. She starts on that road this week against Starla.
#4- COLLEEN [+2]
It’s DAMNED tough to keep Colleen down for long, and she proved it again, winning an absolute technical classic over Emma McIntyre. Is Colleen the favorite in the Femme For All? I hate to say it but, yeah. She is.
#3- KAITLYNN STRYFE [-2]
I think if you were to look back in March, and say that Kitty was going to go on a near-six month winning streak, win the FFW Championship, but then lose to Katherine Stryfe on her first defense, your normal FFW fan would have given you a wedgie. Then a noogie. Then a swirly. And then probably followed it up with a few Indian rug burns. But, here we are, which just goes to show that everything is unpredictable in this business. Still, Kitty only needs wait until October 20th, and she can get that belt back around her waist.
#2- SCARLETT KINCAID [No Change]
Like Rori, you can’t really move Scar one way or another after that Hell in a Cell. Unlike Rori, there’s no ironically significant number nearby that I can properly move her to. That being said, the truth is that Scarlett’s career might actually be over, so it really doesn’t matter worth a damn where I put her. Right now, the poor girl is trying to cling to life, and being able to breathe on her own. Scar is truly a shining light in this business, and we can only hope and pray that light isn’t extinguished. We love you Scarlett, come back to us!
That being said, I have a message to anyone who even THINKS about blaming Cody Kincaid for what happened here: Fuck. You. Seriously, the guy’s beating himself up enough over what happened, and he doesn’t need trolls to harp on it. A normal match between these two would have seen a double DQ almost immediately- that’s how deep the hatred ran here. And any other match type, and it could have just as easily gotten out of hand. The only other alternative would have been to not even hold the match, which would have probably led to someone’s brains being splattered all over a backstage hallway. What happened is a tragedy, but it’s what goes down sometimes in this business. We should all be focused on keeping Scarlett in our prayers, than pointing fingers, or mocking the severity of this situation.
Sorry, had to rant there.
#1- KATHERINE STRYFE [+3]
FFW CHAMPION
And you’re fucking welcome. Because let’s be honest here, without me, and without this column, Katherine Stryfe isn’t here, or anywhere near here for that matter. Before the Power X started, Kat couldn’t win a decent match to save her life, no matter who she was facing. But, yours truly started taking the mickey out of her each and every week, and suddenly, a fire got built under her ass, and she used that (along with the luckiest fucking breaks you could possibly ask for, not the least of which being her husband Jacob), and now Kat is the FFW Champion. So a big congratulations to her, but she really does owe me some sort of a commission for my efforts. Enjoy the title Kat. And try not to give it back to Kitty in a month. I don’t know if I have it in me to propel your scrawny ass back up the card again.
And that’s that! Bitches, whines, and complaints may be posted below. Or on Twitter. Or written in blood (not mine, please) on the bathroom walls (also, not mine, please).
INCOMING!
So, like I said, we’re shortening things up here, so no more blow by blow account of the upcoming shows, and predictions. Still, its nice to look ahead to see where we’re going, so let’s take a look ahead at the three upcoming shows in FFW.
VELOCITY- October 6 in Little Rock
LITTLE ROCK! PASTERNAK! MICKEY MANTLE! KEROUAC!
Erm... sorry. Focus of this show is the Femme For All’s first round, and we’ll see three matches to determine who joins Crystal Hilton in the second round. Honestly, all three matches have clear cut favorites, although if anyone’s going to be pulling the upset, it’s the other Crystal (that’d be Hate), against Stacey MacKenzie. Colleen should cakewalk against Kassandra and Robbyn has a very good odds on beating Emma. Also on the show, we’ll see Sophia Black try to crush Charity Deas’ throat just like she did Gretchen, and newcomer Gia Van Zant dealing with perennial underachiever Lumina Ferrari. Main event is a blockbuster though, as Isabella Pazzini goes against former Power Trip friend and current A-List enemy Starla McCloud. After the beating she was given a few weeks ago, you know Izzy’s going to want to tear this
BYTE THIS II- October 11 in San Francisco
We celebrate Columbus Day with our second Byte This, which will come from Golden Gate Park (provided it’s not raining, as it tends to do in Bay City in October) and benefit Action Against Hunger. Even if you show up late, don’t fret, come on down, because let’s be honest, the opener of McFarlane & Elliot isn’t going to be all that riveting. After that, however, things pick up with Bounce & Pounce looking to make a huge statement against The Eternal Flame in tag competition. But the highlight will be the battle royal, with 10 women. You have to think that Rose, Colleen, and Wendy are the pegged favorites, but Eileen and Casey Atherton are definite dark horses in this must watch event.
BREAKING POINT- October 16 in Toronto
There’s a theme here too, and that’s A-List plus easy matches. Jo McFarlane actually has a chance at a win against Mindy Smyth, and we see the debut of the new Superteam the Violent Femmes, when they tear apart the Lovehearts. The easy ones aren’t confined to the A-List, however, because Wendy gets to rebound against the hapless Charity Deas, and the incoming Queen Machine tears up Rebbecca Valentine.
But that’s not to say there won’t be good matches here. The Second Round of the Chase goes down, a tornado tag with VERY interesting teams. Here’s the catch- only one girl is going to get eliminated, so all you need to do is make sure you’re not the one getting pinned. Honestly, I see strategy here very similar to the capture the Queen match in Future Shock 3, and you can bet that someone’s going to try and screw over someone else (and i will be very sad if that someonee else is Eileen Amaro). Oh yeah, and Crystal Hilton toes it up with Camilla Pazzini in a champion vs. Champion match in the main event. Now that will be epic!
AWARDS!
And finally, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Unfortunately, Danny once again forgot to contact someone about doing these. Luckily, an unexpected savior showed up at the Aggression taping earlier this week. So even though I can barely stomach the guy, I figured why not have the main eventer at an SVW PPV give us his opinions on the FFW PPV? You know, one where he WASNT getting his ass handed to him by our girls.
Yes, kids. God help us all, Johnny Moxie’s doing awards. If you keep reading. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
MATCH OF THE WEEK- Wendy Briese vs. Crystal Hilton
I’m not a fan of either. Wendy annoys me and always has ever since I’ve known her and Crystal…..well I pretty much zone out every time the bitch speaks. But not everyone can ooze with charisma like yours truly, huh? Anyway, this two out of three falls match that they had really stole the show at Sin and Sacrifice and like it or not, it outshined the main event title match. I pride myself on being a connoisseur of great back and forth action and this had it all. Ups, downs, twist, turns. There wasn’t much more you can ask for, really……besides maybe a drunk midget thrown in there somewhere.
She probably doesn’t want me bringing this up, but Wendy doesn’t exactly have a very positive history with drunk midgets and wrestling PPVs. Anyways, so far Mox is one for one! The disappointment’s evident over here in my neck of the woods, but after watching that tape, you can damn tell that both women fought their hearts out. Wendy just spent too much trying to rebound after Crystal’s cheapo pin, and Hilton capitalized in the end. Runners up!
- Scarlett Kincaid vs. Rori Snyder: Not so much of a match as a crime against humanity, but nonetheless, this had us glued to our seats right up unitil the final, horrific ending.
- Crystal Hate vs. Jo McFarlane- A dark horse MOTW candidate, this oine was nonetheless massively entertaining. It was a great showcase to show just how Crystal Hate is coming into her own, and it’s gotten her into the Femme For All.
WINNER OF THE WEEK- Katherine Stryfe
Okay, I’ve never been much of a Belmont fan. As a matter of fact, I helped light Kat’s brother Liam on fire in the back of a car and sent him barreling into a wall. If that don’t sum up my feelings for that family, nothing will. But all attempted murders aside, Kat managed to walk away with the FFW Championship at Sin and Sacrifice. Granted, she owes Jacob Stryfe a big assist for helping to make her FFW’s first ever dual champion.
Mox is now two for two! You really can’t give it to anyone else, although there are a zillion candidates for the runners up
- Eileen Amaro- First win, and it’s a big one! It’s nice to see Eileen finally working her way up, and given the prize of the Chase for the Crown, a thorough notice should be dealt to...
- Sophie Richards- Finally got her revenge on her longtime rival, and in the most gratifying way possible- by making Payton beg her to stop.
LOSER OF THE WEEK- Emma McIntyre
So Charity Deas or neither of the Lovehearts had a match at the PPV, which means they can’t be up for this (which, by the way, this award is probably the only thing any of them will win, ever). I’d have to give this dubious honor to Emma McIntyre. I find it rather ironic that she was brought in as a troubleshooter of sorts for the Mackenzie Mafia but has struggled to really get one over on anybody not named Loveheart. She suffered a big loss to the A-List’s Colleen at the PPV and seems to be speeding downhill at an alarming rate. If you put an S in front “Hit Girl”, I think you have the perfect way to sum up Emma’s big return to FFW thus far.
Sometimes, those big name free agent acquisitions just don’t work out. Like any quarterback the Minnesota Vikings get. Now, I’m not comparing Emma to Donovan McNabb... but no one likes him either.
- Scarlett Kincaid- Screw the match. Scarlett may have just lost everything with one ill-advised (yet completely understandable) jump. Again, speedy return, Scar. We love you.
- Wendy Briese - Tough pill to swallow, but Wendy now joins Michelle Taylor and Sophia Black for the record of shortest title reign in FFW history. It was a tough turn around, but that’s hardly company you want to be keeping.
DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK- Sophia Black
So the bitch that everyone knows and loves has decided to come back! I was happy to see Sophia get back to her bitchy, violent self though I’m pretty sure that someone who wasn’t as happy about it all was Gretchen Sanders. You know, for a moment I felt bad for Gretch. She’s been away for a while, just came back and now finds herself out of action again. But the joy of seeing Sophia going back to her old ways kind of drowned out whatever sympathy for Gretchen I had.
God, even I couldn’t watch that, and considering that Gretchen’s one of the nicest, most humble girls to ever grace the roster, it just was horrible.
- Rori Snyder- Anything Scarlett did during that match was only in reaction to Rori, who managed to take the obscene to a whole new level. At least on the bright side, since Rori IS a douchebag, there’s decent odds that the doctors at the hospital might actually chuck her in the dumpster with the rest of the medical waste.
- Tara Thunder- Apparently gratuitous, career ending violence is the order of the day down here in the DBOTW award section. Yeah, what Tara did was technically legal, but let’s be honest- as futile as Lilah was, that match should have been over WELL before her arm snapped in two. There’s taking liberties, and then there’s Tara Thunder.
And that does it for yet another Power X installment! Remember to join us next time, as we begin the climb towards the final PPV of the year... VIOLENT NIGHT!
Oh yes, kids. We’re only just getting started.
POLLA OUT!
Daniel Pollaski is an freelance wrestling columnist, and the manager of Wendy Briese. He also would like to ask any women’s soccer clubs looking for a prospective striker to give Nikkii Spainhower a shot. Seriously, Millar’s STILL spitting out his balls. El-oh-el.
The Power X inspirational thought of the week:
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Like my father's come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began
Wake me up when September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends
- “Wake Me Up When September Ends” Green Day
Hey kids!
Oh, and... BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!
There’s your alarm clock. Rise and shine, cupcake!
The tumultuous month of September is over, and as we move into the final quarter of the year, we step back and admire the newness that seems to be permeating the FFW landscape. After all, Sin & Sacrifice saw all four singles belts leaving with new champions. We continue to get new wrestlers, seemingly every week. (Now with Tabatha Belmont! Yipee!) And now a new look, much shorter Power X. But no less awesome.
RANKINGS!
Alright, here’s the deal. The fact of the matter is that these columns are taking too damn long to write, and are kinda burning me out, especially when I have other, more important things to focus on. And, really, it’s absolutely excruciating to have to pretend to give a shit about the Lovehearts and the Deas’ and Simply Flawless and Mindy Smyth. So starting this week, the focus of the Power X will be on the top 25. Everyone still gets ranked, but I’ll be only doing full entries now for those in the upper echelon.
Three dropouts and four additions this time around, which means forty-seven eligible wrestlers this week, a new all time high. And even more continue to join, although we will be saying goodbye to a handful of girls next week as well. This week, it’s a surprising farewell to Whitley Mercer (last ranked 27th), who’s focusing on her studies at Louisiana Tech. Also dropping out is Kara Harrington (28th), although she’s certainly still on the roster. And gone, seemingly for good, is the luckless Kadence Whesson (45th)
For this weeks current crop, well, here are the unlucky 22 women who just ain’t good enough to merit my full attention.
#47- LILAH CARTER [-1]
#46- CHARITY DEAS [-2]
#45- DESTINY LOVEHEART [-2]
#44- SYD ASHLEY [-2]
#43- FAITH [-2]
#42- GRETCHEN SANDERS [Returning- Last Ranked 26th on July 18]
#41- MINDY SMYTH [-1]
#40- DEVEN KNIGHT [-1]
#39- STEPHANIE SULLIVAN [-1]
#38- HANNA ELLIOT [-3]
#37- MADISON KNIGHT [No Change]
#36- LUMINA FERRARI [No Change]
#35- KASSANDRA [-4]
#34- SOPHIA BLACK [-1]
#33- CHARLOTTE GAGE [-4]
#32- ALYSSA FOXWORTH [NEW]
#31- ALLISON DEAS [+1]
#30- JO MCFARLANE [-4]
#29- SARAH RICHARDSON [+1]
#28- EMMA MCINTYRE [-4]
#27- REBBECCA VALENTINE [-4]- FFW UNITY TAG CHAMPION
#26- ARABELLA DE ROSSI [NEW]
Of those, expect to see Carter, Sanders and Deven Knight off the rankings next week, for various reasons.
And now... THE TOP 25!
#25- DESIRAE KAIN [NEW]
The season 4 Future Shock Champion hit the ground running as part of the official Roster at Sin & Sacrifice, when she helped lead her team to victory in the first round of the Chase for the Crown. Right now, I still have her pegged for the finals, but that tornado tag match at Breaking Point (in which only one person gets eiliminated) is going to throw a lot of wrenches into the system. But for the Questionable call of the week... Arianna Millar? REALLY?
#24- ALYSON SUMMERS [-2]
And as we make way for the next season of Future Shock rookies to enter the main roster, we’re saddened (not really) to report that this will be Alyson Summers’ final ranking. Despite winning Future Shock’s third season, Aly never really found her identity here, and she was quickly over shadowed by the likes of Ignis and Casey Atherton. Oh, lest there be any confusion, that was a ragequit.
#23- EILEEN AMARO [+11]
Now that she’s no longer saddled with a shitty tag partner and trying to overcome one of the best wrestlers in the company on short notice, Eileen finally has a chance to settle into herself, and focus on working her way up the ladder. If her stubborn outing against Colleen didn’t put you on notice, her brilliant performance at Sin & Sacrifice will. I said I have Kain for the finals, well, I have Eileen there too. And I have Eileen walking out of there the winner.
#22- IGNIS [+3]
When you don’t compete at a PPV, you merely sit in the water as the tides jostle and flow around you. In Ignis’ case, it worked out to her advantage. But her big moment comes at Byte This II, when Bounce & Pounce goes up against the Eternally Lame in a nontitle match. We’ve had problems coming up with clear cut #1 contenders for the tag belts but a win here will make it very obvious who the biggest threat to the champs are.
#21- HAYLEY DARK [No Change]
Golly gee, you sure hope Hayley knows what she’s doing here, that’s for sure. Hayley surrendered her bid for the Television Championship this week, deciding she wants to focus with Ignis as Bounce & Pounce. While that cringingly gives the title shot to Tabatha Belmont, we gotta hope that Hayley and Ignis can put themselves into that tag belt.
#20- KELLY MCGUFFIN [-2]
Like Ignis, Kelly mostly just rode the waves, and got pushed a bit further out to sea. No worries- she’s still hotter (in more ways than one!) than any Future Shocked rookie at this point. But for the second straight cycle, she finds herself sitting out. One more time, and she’s going to be off the list entirely.
#19- CRYSTAL HATE [+1]
A solid win over Jo McFarlane, and Crystal just keeps creeping herself higher and higher up the ladder. You have to say her inclusion in the Femme For All was a surprise, although it really isn’t an unwelcome one. But I can’t see her downing Stacey MacKenzie- at least the Stacey MacKenzie of the hype. BUt if she can overcome Stacey, and pop the hype bubble, and get herself into the second round, we’ll all be looking at Hate in an entirely new light.
#18- CASEY ATHERTON [+1]
Apparently Casey likes her wins the way she likes her sex with Alex Adonis- quick and dirty. Casey might not be the true winner of Season 3, but she’s turning out to be the most successful transition to the main roster. With Aly jumping ship so quickly, there’s really not going to be any dispute about that.
#17- PAYTON ST. PIERRE [-3]
From an actual wrestling standpoint, that probably was the best showing we’ve ever seen from Payton. But unfortunately, Sophie wasn’t going to be denied. Had Payton actually let the cage with Will inside drop, I’d have probably kept her on the same line she was. But alas, Will MacKenzie is alive, and I have to move Patyon down.
#16- STACEY MACKENZIE [No Change]
Given that she just took the current champion to a time limit draw in a match that many people think Stryfe stalled in, you know that Stacey’s practically salivating at the thought of winning the Femme For All and facing Stryfe for the title. Well, first things first- and she has to get by Crystal Hate. That *should* happen, but it’s not like we havent’ seen upsets in FFW before. And even if Stacey gets by there, there’s still a lot of talented wrestlers in this tournament between her and the end.
#15- STARLA MCCLOUD [No Change]
Considering the likes of Colleen and Wendy Briese, I’d think that Starla McCloud automatically being the first ever FFW No Surrender Champion is a bit of a premature one. But still, Starla seems content to wait for that title to come into play- which should be shortly. In the meantime, a showdown with ex-stablemate Isabella Pazzini’s in order
#14- RAVEN WICKED [-3]
Raven’s no longer the Ultraviolence Champion, but there’s no denying that she had a hell of a lot of fun out there. It seems to be a telling point that you win the UV title twice, so chances are that we’re going to see Raven taking another chance at the title- and she’ll probably even manage to outdo herself in the “WTF” department!
#13- RORI SNYDER [-1]
It’s tough to allow any movement one way or another after that trainwreck of a hell and a cell, but thirteen seems just a fitting number for Rori, considering that this girl is nothing but bad news. Scarlett may have been the one who jumped, but it was Rori who took the brutality of that match to the next level. Of course, Rori is going to be hospitalized for a while, which isn’t really a bad thing. I suppose finding out that her larynx got crushed and she’ll never be able to talk again is probably too much to hope for.
#12- ROSE JENKINS [-3]
To be honest, when Raven cut open Rose’s forehead in the Crimson Masks match, I was half-expecting motor oil to come dripping out. That’s how much of a machine Rose has been over the past couple of months. I don’t see her slowing down after that, either. Rose’s only match in the next cycle is that battle royal at Byte This II, and you know that she’s going to be the single hardest person to eliminate in that.
#11- SOPHIE RICHARDS [+6]
FFW TELEVISION CHAMPION
Sophie got her belt back, and in a big way, defeating longtime rival Payton St. Pierre. Still, it was a bit... disconcerting to watch Sophie at the controls of the Shark Cage. Not so much that I minded Will dropping to his death, but Sophie looked almost... gleeful over the prospect. I think there might be a sadistic side under Sophie trying to fight its way out.
#10- TARA THUNDER [No Change]
The bad news is that it was only Lilah Carter. The good-news is that was such a thorough and complete ass kicking that when the time came down for me to right the method of victory in my match record (y’know, pinfall, submission, etc.) the only thing I could think of was ‘total annihilation’. Surprisingly, Tara’s off this next cycle.
#9- ROBBYN HELMSLEY [-2]
Robbyn just got unlucky with the ebb and flow here, but she’s got an excellent chance to move up in the next week, when she faces Emma McIntyre in the first round of the Femme For All. Given that Emma apparently forgot how to wrestle during her time off, this should be a solid win for Supergirl. And honestly, Robbyn can’t go around losing to wrestlers her cousin Rori BEAT (other than Colleen), now could she?
#8- CAMILLA PAZZINI [+5]
FFW ULTRAVIOLENCE CHAMPION
Chunks is BACK! Two months after being stunned by Raven, Camilla turned around and took the Ultraviolence title back. About the only thing that could have made Cammy’s night any better is if she could have made Rose bleed herself. But she didn’t, and I think the door is wide open for Rose to come roaring back for her title.
#7- WENDY BRIESE [-2]
On the surface, it looks like Wendy lost a ton at S&S, dropping both the Evolution Championship and any chance she had at being in the Femme For All. But in reality, considering how close she and Crystal have been in that ring, it could be expected that the pendulum would swing the other way once in a while. You know, and I know, and everyone knows that there will be a rubber match in the near future, and you can bet that people are going to be salivating for it. In the meantime, Wendy has to settle for trying to win a battle royal, and taking any remaining frustrations out on Charity Deas.
#6- CRYSTAL HILTON [+3]
FFW EVOLUTION CHAMPION
Crystal’s return home was a successful one, as she took down Wendy in what was almost certainty a must-win match for Hilton to remain relevant at the top of the card. Accomplishing that puts Hilton in a very strong position, as she can sit back and relax and watch the first round of the Femme For All unfold, knowing she’s safe. Well, not too safe, because she’s got Chunks on her dockett, and Cammies packing just as much momentum as Crystal is!
#5- ISABELLA PAZZINI [-2]
Nothing against Isabella, and it’s more like people moved up around her than her actually moving down. Honestly, Isabella’s at a crossroads- she’s obviously out of the FFW Championship picture, considering Samantha’s latest machinations. But to go down to the Evolution Championship would be a considerable, and unnecessary step back (and it’s likely that Sam’s gonna keep Isabella away from ALL titles for the time being). There’s only one thing left... REVENGE. She starts on that road this week against Starla.
#4- COLLEEN [+2]
It’s DAMNED tough to keep Colleen down for long, and she proved it again, winning an absolute technical classic over Emma McIntyre. Is Colleen the favorite in the Femme For All? I hate to say it but, yeah. She is.
#3- KAITLYNN STRYFE [-2]
I think if you were to look back in March, and say that Kitty was going to go on a near-six month winning streak, win the FFW Championship, but then lose to Katherine Stryfe on her first defense, your normal FFW fan would have given you a wedgie. Then a noogie. Then a swirly. And then probably followed it up with a few Indian rug burns. But, here we are, which just goes to show that everything is unpredictable in this business. Still, Kitty only needs wait until October 20th, and she can get that belt back around her waist.
#2- SCARLETT KINCAID [No Change]
Like Rori, you can’t really move Scar one way or another after that Hell in a Cell. Unlike Rori, there’s no ironically significant number nearby that I can properly move her to. That being said, the truth is that Scarlett’s career might actually be over, so it really doesn’t matter worth a damn where I put her. Right now, the poor girl is trying to cling to life, and being able to breathe on her own. Scar is truly a shining light in this business, and we can only hope and pray that light isn’t extinguished. We love you Scarlett, come back to us!
That being said, I have a message to anyone who even THINKS about blaming Cody Kincaid for what happened here: Fuck. You. Seriously, the guy’s beating himself up enough over what happened, and he doesn’t need trolls to harp on it. A normal match between these two would have seen a double DQ almost immediately- that’s how deep the hatred ran here. And any other match type, and it could have just as easily gotten out of hand. The only other alternative would have been to not even hold the match, which would have probably led to someone’s brains being splattered all over a backstage hallway. What happened is a tragedy, but it’s what goes down sometimes in this business. We should all be focused on keeping Scarlett in our prayers, than pointing fingers, or mocking the severity of this situation.
Sorry, had to rant there.
#1- KATHERINE STRYFE [+3]
FFW CHAMPION
And you’re fucking welcome. Because let’s be honest here, without me, and without this column, Katherine Stryfe isn’t here, or anywhere near here for that matter. Before the Power X started, Kat couldn’t win a decent match to save her life, no matter who she was facing. But, yours truly started taking the mickey out of her each and every week, and suddenly, a fire got built under her ass, and she used that (along with the luckiest fucking breaks you could possibly ask for, not the least of which being her husband Jacob), and now Kat is the FFW Champion. So a big congratulations to her, but she really does owe me some sort of a commission for my efforts. Enjoy the title Kat. And try not to give it back to Kitty in a month. I don’t know if I have it in me to propel your scrawny ass back up the card again.
And that’s that! Bitches, whines, and complaints may be posted below. Or on Twitter. Or written in blood (not mine, please) on the bathroom walls (also, not mine, please).
INCOMING!
So, like I said, we’re shortening things up here, so no more blow by blow account of the upcoming shows, and predictions. Still, its nice to look ahead to see where we’re going, so let’s take a look ahead at the three upcoming shows in FFW.
VELOCITY- October 6 in Little Rock
LITTLE ROCK! PASTERNAK! MICKEY MANTLE! KEROUAC!
Erm... sorry. Focus of this show is the Femme For All’s first round, and we’ll see three matches to determine who joins Crystal Hilton in the second round. Honestly, all three matches have clear cut favorites, although if anyone’s going to be pulling the upset, it’s the other Crystal (that’d be Hate), against Stacey MacKenzie. Colleen should cakewalk against Kassandra and Robbyn has a very good odds on beating Emma. Also on the show, we’ll see Sophia Black try to crush Charity Deas’ throat just like she did Gretchen, and newcomer Gia Van Zant dealing with perennial underachiever Lumina Ferrari. Main event is a blockbuster though, as Isabella Pazzini goes against former Power Trip friend and current A-List enemy Starla McCloud. After the beating she was given a few weeks ago, you know Izzy’s going to want to tear this
BYTE THIS II- October 11 in San Francisco
We celebrate Columbus Day with our second Byte This, which will come from Golden Gate Park (provided it’s not raining, as it tends to do in Bay City in October) and benefit Action Against Hunger. Even if you show up late, don’t fret, come on down, because let’s be honest, the opener of McFarlane & Elliot isn’t going to be all that riveting. After that, however, things pick up with Bounce & Pounce looking to make a huge statement against The Eternal Flame in tag competition. But the highlight will be the battle royal, with 10 women. You have to think that Rose, Colleen, and Wendy are the pegged favorites, but Eileen and Casey Atherton are definite dark horses in this must watch event.
BREAKING POINT- October 16 in Toronto
There’s a theme here too, and that’s A-List plus easy matches. Jo McFarlane actually has a chance at a win against Mindy Smyth, and we see the debut of the new Superteam the Violent Femmes, when they tear apart the Lovehearts. The easy ones aren’t confined to the A-List, however, because Wendy gets to rebound against the hapless Charity Deas, and the incoming Queen Machine tears up Rebbecca Valentine.
But that’s not to say there won’t be good matches here. The Second Round of the Chase goes down, a tornado tag with VERY interesting teams. Here’s the catch- only one girl is going to get eliminated, so all you need to do is make sure you’re not the one getting pinned. Honestly, I see strategy here very similar to the capture the Queen match in Future Shock 3, and you can bet that someone’s going to try and screw over someone else (and i will be very sad if that someonee else is Eileen Amaro). Oh yeah, and Crystal Hilton toes it up with Camilla Pazzini in a champion vs. Champion match in the main event. Now that will be epic!
AWARDS!
And finally, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Unfortunately, Danny once again forgot to contact someone about doing these. Luckily, an unexpected savior showed up at the Aggression taping earlier this week. So even though I can barely stomach the guy, I figured why not have the main eventer at an SVW PPV give us his opinions on the FFW PPV? You know, one where he WASNT getting his ass handed to him by our girls.
Yes, kids. God help us all, Johnny Moxie’s doing awards. If you keep reading. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
MATCH OF THE WEEK- Wendy Briese vs. Crystal Hilton
I’m not a fan of either. Wendy annoys me and always has ever since I’ve known her and Crystal…..well I pretty much zone out every time the bitch speaks. But not everyone can ooze with charisma like yours truly, huh? Anyway, this two out of three falls match that they had really stole the show at Sin and Sacrifice and like it or not, it outshined the main event title match. I pride myself on being a connoisseur of great back and forth action and this had it all. Ups, downs, twist, turns. There wasn’t much more you can ask for, really……besides maybe a drunk midget thrown in there somewhere.
She probably doesn’t want me bringing this up, but Wendy doesn’t exactly have a very positive history with drunk midgets and wrestling PPVs. Anyways, so far Mox is one for one! The disappointment’s evident over here in my neck of the woods, but after watching that tape, you can damn tell that both women fought their hearts out. Wendy just spent too much trying to rebound after Crystal’s cheapo pin, and Hilton capitalized in the end. Runners up!
- Scarlett Kincaid vs. Rori Snyder: Not so much of a match as a crime against humanity, but nonetheless, this had us glued to our seats right up unitil the final, horrific ending.
- Crystal Hate vs. Jo McFarlane- A dark horse MOTW candidate, this oine was nonetheless massively entertaining. It was a great showcase to show just how Crystal Hate is coming into her own, and it’s gotten her into the Femme For All.
WINNER OF THE WEEK- Katherine Stryfe
Okay, I’ve never been much of a Belmont fan. As a matter of fact, I helped light Kat’s brother Liam on fire in the back of a car and sent him barreling into a wall. If that don’t sum up my feelings for that family, nothing will. But all attempted murders aside, Kat managed to walk away with the FFW Championship at Sin and Sacrifice. Granted, she owes Jacob Stryfe a big assist for helping to make her FFW’s first ever dual champion.
Mox is now two for two! You really can’t give it to anyone else, although there are a zillion candidates for the runners up
- Eileen Amaro- First win, and it’s a big one! It’s nice to see Eileen finally working her way up, and given the prize of the Chase for the Crown, a thorough notice should be dealt to...
- Sophie Richards- Finally got her revenge on her longtime rival, and in the most gratifying way possible- by making Payton beg her to stop.
LOSER OF THE WEEK- Emma McIntyre
So Charity Deas or neither of the Lovehearts had a match at the PPV, which means they can’t be up for this (which, by the way, this award is probably the only thing any of them will win, ever). I’d have to give this dubious honor to Emma McIntyre. I find it rather ironic that she was brought in as a troubleshooter of sorts for the Mackenzie Mafia but has struggled to really get one over on anybody not named Loveheart. She suffered a big loss to the A-List’s Colleen at the PPV and seems to be speeding downhill at an alarming rate. If you put an S in front “Hit Girl”, I think you have the perfect way to sum up Emma’s big return to FFW thus far.
Sometimes, those big name free agent acquisitions just don’t work out. Like any quarterback the Minnesota Vikings get. Now, I’m not comparing Emma to Donovan McNabb... but no one likes him either.
- Scarlett Kincaid- Screw the match. Scarlett may have just lost everything with one ill-advised (yet completely understandable) jump. Again, speedy return, Scar. We love you.
- Wendy Briese - Tough pill to swallow, but Wendy now joins Michelle Taylor and Sophia Black for the record of shortest title reign in FFW history. It was a tough turn around, but that’s hardly company you want to be keeping.
DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK- Sophia Black
So the bitch that everyone knows and loves has decided to come back! I was happy to see Sophia get back to her bitchy, violent self though I’m pretty sure that someone who wasn’t as happy about it all was Gretchen Sanders. You know, for a moment I felt bad for Gretch. She’s been away for a while, just came back and now finds herself out of action again. But the joy of seeing Sophia going back to her old ways kind of drowned out whatever sympathy for Gretchen I had.
God, even I couldn’t watch that, and considering that Gretchen’s one of the nicest, most humble girls to ever grace the roster, it just was horrible.
- Rori Snyder- Anything Scarlett did during that match was only in reaction to Rori, who managed to take the obscene to a whole new level. At least on the bright side, since Rori IS a douchebag, there’s decent odds that the doctors at the hospital might actually chuck her in the dumpster with the rest of the medical waste.
- Tara Thunder- Apparently gratuitous, career ending violence is the order of the day down here in the DBOTW award section. Yeah, what Tara did was technically legal, but let’s be honest- as futile as Lilah was, that match should have been over WELL before her arm snapped in two. There’s taking liberties, and then there’s Tara Thunder.
And that does it for yet another Power X installment! Remember to join us next time, as we begin the climb towards the final PPV of the year... VIOLENT NIGHT!
Oh yes, kids. We’re only just getting started.
POLLA OUT!
Daniel Pollaski is an freelance wrestling columnist, and the manager of Wendy Briese. He also would like to ask any women’s soccer clubs looking for a prospective striker to give Nikkii Spainhower a shot. Seriously, Millar’s STILL spitting out his balls. El-oh-el.
