Three episodes down, four to go in the most violent season of Future Shock History!
For those of you who haven't been following along, a quick recap so far.
8th Place: Fiona O'Dalaigh
7th Place: Helga
6th Place: Kanna Haroshi
Pretty much said all I needed to say about Kanna in the 11.3 recap. She got sloppy with her travel arrangements, she missed her flight, she missed the show, she got eliminated automatically. Sucks to be her, but that's what happens when you play it tight with the travel. Kanna, of course, has already been signed to the main roster, where she will attempt to earn that coveted Ultraviolence title the hard way. BUt it looks like we'll be waiting until after Sin & Sacrifice for Kanna's official debut.
And that leaves us with five people remaining, in alphabetical order:
Lana Star
Leah O'Quinn
Lollipop
Marla Lee
Velvet Raven.
This season's quite a bit heavy in the center of the alphabet, isn't it?
Okay, so on we go to the midpoint episode of the season. By the end of next week's vote, half the field will be gone, and half will remain. Which means this is where it gets concentrated, and things get harder.
Of course, odd number of participants, which means, as usual, its a gimmick challenge this time. And we'll break out the old tried and true Future Shock staple, bikini jousting. Only this time, there's going to be an ultraviolence twist- the pugil sticks are going to be on FIRE.
God damn, but does FFW like its flame-themed challenges this season.
Of course, if they REALLY wanted to make it 'utlraviolent' they'd stop the pussy habit of holding it over a swimming pool and run it over a vat of gasoline instead. THAT'll punish the losers!
THE FAVORITE: Yeah, I know, I pick her every week, but here I have good reason for picking Lollipop. People think tht jousting like this is about power- it isn't. It's about balance, endurance, agility, speed, and a low center of gravity, and Lollipop carries all those traits in abundance. She's not going to win any one shot knockouts, but she's going to be hard as hell to hit squarely, and hard as hell to knock off.
THE HOT SEAT: I don't even need to speculate here, because FFW flat out told us who's in trouble. Of the five remaining women in this competition, two are conspicuous only by their inability to stand out- Lana Star and Leah O'Quinn. Lana's by far the weaker of the two, but thanks to some bizarre cult following, she's actually doing remarkably well in the voting. Leah isn't, and that's why she was one made flight connection away from going home in sixth place.
So Leah can count her stars that she's been given, effectively, a two week notice. Now it's either find a way to stand out, or the inevitability is going to catch up with her. She's talking about this competition being a must-win for her, and I like the spirit, but that's not enough. Good results aren't the only thing in Future Shock. You gotta make the fans connect with you somehow, and Leah has failed to do that. Leah needs to find a way to seperate herself in the hearts and minds of the voters, not just in the competition, or she will be finishing in fifth place.
Friday, August 30, 2013
SHOW RANKINGS: Velocity 8.29.13
As we finish up August and head into the home stretch for Sin & Sacrifice, Busan, Korea treated us to another wild night of action! The Blondetourage got mean. The Brew got Badass. And the Psycho Centerfold psyched her own self out of here!!
1. KATE STEELE- Li'l Miss Ultraviolence does it again! Kate seems to operate the best in the midst of chaos, and that six femme tag match was nothing if not chaotic. She's keeeping up momentum heading into what will prove to be a very tough title defense at S&S.
2. MISTY WHITMORE- Guess it was just a Pure Adrenaline kind of night. Despite being locked out of the arena at the start of the show, Misty got back in in a big way, first disrupting the Blondetourage's attack on Sasha, then pulling off a very solid win over a tough Tabatha Belmont.
3. STEPHANIE DALLINS- Steph is one tough chica. Just two days after nearly getting her skull caved in at the hands of Jodie Gray, she returned to the ring, and more than held her own. You can't keep a good bartender down.
4. HOLLY ADAMS- The Blondetourage were everything we expected from them- blonde, vicious, cunning, and devious. Locking Misty out of the building was especially deplorable, but you have to admire the legnths they'll to to get under someone's skin.
5. SUNNY KYOUN- Sunny ended the main even on her back outside the ring, but she did more than her fair share before getting kicked out by Hexstar. Witches Brew is joining Chemistry at just the right time.
6. MADELYNE MCTAGGERT- Again, it wasn't exactly legal, but the way the Blondetourage used isolation during their match with the Richardsons was nothing short of superb. I'm fearing for when they start facing upper level teams.
7. GABRIELLE CRIMSON- 2:09. Two seconds slower than Alysson Gardner, so Gabby loses the bet, and will be spending the next month buying dinner, from the sounds of things. But she still wins on the match sheet, and has hit the ground running in her long awaited FFW career.
8. TABATHA BELMONT- The thought that she belongs anywhere near the TV title is laughable at the moment, but she did put up a solid fight against Misty. But like I said, when Misty's pissed off and rearin' to go, it's tough to stop her.
9. LEONA VEGA- Think we may have spoken a bit too soon on little Leona, who has now won two straight after a disappointing debut. Even better, International Incident now holds the upper hand heading into S&S.
10. JESSIKA HEXSTAR- For all the spells she's casting, the Blood Witch doesn't seem to be enjoying much luck at the moment. The latest setback came from Kinsey Robinson, who decided she'd rather turn the tables on her predator. Doubt cuz is gonna take this lying down (even if that's how she finished the match).
11. LISA RICHARDSON- Considering what an idiot she is, is anyone honestly surprised that they were outwitted by the Blondetourage? I give a credit to them for lasting clearly as long as they did.
12. CHRISTELLE GILLET- Considering it was Christelle's first match in four months, I'm certain she'd have lurved for it to go a bit longer. But still, anytime you can win in eighteen seconds, that's impressive. And her saving Fisk from an unwarranted attack certainly put the exclamation poingt on a perfect performance.
13. KARA HARRINGTON- A Club CKVIP/Hexstar trios team seemed almost certain, but after Velocity, I'm not entirely so certain. Hexstar always seems to be off in her own little world, and the chemistry that once appeared to be there, even between the VIPs themselves, doesn't seem so anymore.
14. SARAH RICHARDSON- Sarah probably spent more of the match outside the ring on the ground than lying inside it, and ended it on a rotten note after literally eating a can of hairspray. Not a good way to celebrate your return to the ring after nine months.
15. TIFA HEAFY- Tifa didn't get the welcome to FFW she wanted, thanks to rival Leona Vega. Things are a lot tougher here, so she and Freya better step up their game if they want to down International Incident at Sin & Sacrifice.
16. UNDINE- Since winning the UV Championship back in May, Undine has lost four straight, including taking the fall last night in the six femme tag match. It's not a good trend to be rutted in coming into her chance to take the UV belt back.
17. MICHELLE TAYLOR- SEVEN!
18. MARIE REYNOLDS- It takes a lot to get a lower show ranking than Michelle Taylor, but at least Michelle's been able to survive her fist match and remain unemployed. Reynolds may be tying Jen "Lost to Charity Deas" Saint for the worst debut in FFW history.
1. KATE STEELE- Li'l Miss Ultraviolence does it again! Kate seems to operate the best in the midst of chaos, and that six femme tag match was nothing if not chaotic. She's keeeping up momentum heading into what will prove to be a very tough title defense at S&S.
2. MISTY WHITMORE- Guess it was just a Pure Adrenaline kind of night. Despite being locked out of the arena at the start of the show, Misty got back in in a big way, first disrupting the Blondetourage's attack on Sasha, then pulling off a very solid win over a tough Tabatha Belmont.
3. STEPHANIE DALLINS- Steph is one tough chica. Just two days after nearly getting her skull caved in at the hands of Jodie Gray, she returned to the ring, and more than held her own. You can't keep a good bartender down.
4. HOLLY ADAMS- The Blondetourage were everything we expected from them- blonde, vicious, cunning, and devious. Locking Misty out of the building was especially deplorable, but you have to admire the legnths they'll to to get under someone's skin.
5. SUNNY KYOUN- Sunny ended the main even on her back outside the ring, but she did more than her fair share before getting kicked out by Hexstar. Witches Brew is joining Chemistry at just the right time.
6. MADELYNE MCTAGGERT- Again, it wasn't exactly legal, but the way the Blondetourage used isolation during their match with the Richardsons was nothing short of superb. I'm fearing for when they start facing upper level teams.
7. GABRIELLE CRIMSON- 2:09. Two seconds slower than Alysson Gardner, so Gabby loses the bet, and will be spending the next month buying dinner, from the sounds of things. But she still wins on the match sheet, and has hit the ground running in her long awaited FFW career.
8. TABATHA BELMONT- The thought that she belongs anywhere near the TV title is laughable at the moment, but she did put up a solid fight against Misty. But like I said, when Misty's pissed off and rearin' to go, it's tough to stop her.
9. LEONA VEGA- Think we may have spoken a bit too soon on little Leona, who has now won two straight after a disappointing debut. Even better, International Incident now holds the upper hand heading into S&S.
10. JESSIKA HEXSTAR- For all the spells she's casting, the Blood Witch doesn't seem to be enjoying much luck at the moment. The latest setback came from Kinsey Robinson, who decided she'd rather turn the tables on her predator. Doubt cuz is gonna take this lying down (even if that's how she finished the match).
11. LISA RICHARDSON- Considering what an idiot she is, is anyone honestly surprised that they were outwitted by the Blondetourage? I give a credit to them for lasting clearly as long as they did.
12. CHRISTELLE GILLET- Considering it was Christelle's first match in four months, I'm certain she'd have lurved for it to go a bit longer. But still, anytime you can win in eighteen seconds, that's impressive. And her saving Fisk from an unwarranted attack certainly put the exclamation poingt on a perfect performance.
13. KARA HARRINGTON- A Club CKVIP/Hexstar trios team seemed almost certain, but after Velocity, I'm not entirely so certain. Hexstar always seems to be off in her own little world, and the chemistry that once appeared to be there, even between the VIPs themselves, doesn't seem so anymore.
14. SARAH RICHARDSON- Sarah probably spent more of the match outside the ring on the ground than lying inside it, and ended it on a rotten note after literally eating a can of hairspray. Not a good way to celebrate your return to the ring after nine months.
15. TIFA HEAFY- Tifa didn't get the welcome to FFW she wanted, thanks to rival Leona Vega. Things are a lot tougher here, so she and Freya better step up their game if they want to down International Incident at Sin & Sacrifice.
16. UNDINE- Since winning the UV Championship back in May, Undine has lost four straight, including taking the fall last night in the six femme tag match. It's not a good trend to be rutted in coming into her chance to take the UV belt back.
17. MICHELLE TAYLOR- SEVEN!
18. MARIE REYNOLDS- It takes a lot to get a lower show ranking than Michelle Taylor, but at least Michelle's been able to survive her fist match and remain unemployed. Reynolds may be tying Jen "Lost to Charity Deas" Saint for the worst debut in FFW history.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
SHOW RANKINGS: Future Shock Fight Night 2 8.27.13
An action packed, intense, and I dare say surprising Fight Night is in the books, and Seattle did not disappoint. Let's see how the girls of Shock Future (as Ms. Kyoun would put it) matched up!
1. CASEY ATHERTON- Another defense by the skin of her teeth, and I think this one was even closer than the Jodie one. Casey's got the magic working for her, and it's kept the title on her.
2. JODIE GRAY- In what is one of the biggest shocks of 2013, Jodie Gray overcame six other women to win the second annual Future Shock Cup, and secure herself a place in the next season of champions. Guess she's rediscovered that confidence.
3. JO MCFARLANE- So. Fucking. Close. Jo left nothing out there in the ring Tuesday night, but sometimes, even that isn't enough. But after years of mediocrity, Jo has once and for all proven that she can hang with a champion in a title match. It will be a matter of weeks, not months or years, before she gets another crack.
4. SERAFINA DECARO- Serafina not only slayed her long time nemesis in Trinity... she drove her clear out of the company! But she's gotta be disappointed after getting the Future Shock Cup vultured by Gray.
5. STEPHANIE DALLINS- The way Steph was going, had she not found the exposed metal turnbuckle thanks to Jodie, she might have dominated the final match. But a sour break for the Angry Lady. She'll want a second crack at that one, I'm sure.
6. SUNNY KYOUN- Whatever Sunny had the night she won the battle royal to get to the finals, it didn't show up Tuesday night. She was off-kilter most of the match, and there was never really a moment where you thought Sunny was going to win this. It's gotta be disappointing- everything was set up for her going into the night.
7. GABRIELLE CRIMSON- Finally (and we mean FINALLY) Gabrielle Crimson has officially wrestled a match in FFW, and it was a good one, downing April Evans. The only question now is if the bumps she received against April will slow her down in her quest to beat Alysson's time against Michelle Taylor.
8. REBECKA HATE- You can't spin this any other way- Rebecka Hate had a bad night. Yeah, she did win her qualification match, but considering that getting her hands on Laura Steele was something she wanted for months now, going through because a teapot was shoved into her skull wasn't how she was hoping things would end. Neither was nearly succumbing to a sleeper from DeCaro, only for Gray to shove her hand down her throat immediately after. Hope Jodie uses Purell!
9. LAURA STEELE- The mere fact that she's not lying dead in a pool of her own blood this morning knocks her up a notch, because while she didn't win, she ended the match against Becky on her terms. Which might actually end up costing her in the long run- she can't escape from Becka forever.
10. APRIL EVANS- Yup. Still winless without Penny Buchanan at her side. April needs to learn to walk (i.e. WIN), before she can run (i.e. get a title shot). Needless to say, she won't be getting 'next'.
11. TRINITY- Despite a brutal sneak attack to start the match, Serafina dispatched her in less than five minutes. Given what we've seen from Trinity previously, clearly something's wrong. An extended break might be just what she needs.
1. CASEY ATHERTON- Another defense by the skin of her teeth, and I think this one was even closer than the Jodie one. Casey's got the magic working for her, and it's kept the title on her.
2. JODIE GRAY- In what is one of the biggest shocks of 2013, Jodie Gray overcame six other women to win the second annual Future Shock Cup, and secure herself a place in the next season of champions. Guess she's rediscovered that confidence.
3. JO MCFARLANE- So. Fucking. Close. Jo left nothing out there in the ring Tuesday night, but sometimes, even that isn't enough. But after years of mediocrity, Jo has once and for all proven that she can hang with a champion in a title match. It will be a matter of weeks, not months or years, before she gets another crack.
4. SERAFINA DECARO- Serafina not only slayed her long time nemesis in Trinity... she drove her clear out of the company! But she's gotta be disappointed after getting the Future Shock Cup vultured by Gray.
5. STEPHANIE DALLINS- The way Steph was going, had she not found the exposed metal turnbuckle thanks to Jodie, she might have dominated the final match. But a sour break for the Angry Lady. She'll want a second crack at that one, I'm sure.
6. SUNNY KYOUN- Whatever Sunny had the night she won the battle royal to get to the finals, it didn't show up Tuesday night. She was off-kilter most of the match, and there was never really a moment where you thought Sunny was going to win this. It's gotta be disappointing- everything was set up for her going into the night.
7. GABRIELLE CRIMSON- Finally (and we mean FINALLY) Gabrielle Crimson has officially wrestled a match in FFW, and it was a good one, downing April Evans. The only question now is if the bumps she received against April will slow her down in her quest to beat Alysson's time against Michelle Taylor.
8. REBECKA HATE- You can't spin this any other way- Rebecka Hate had a bad night. Yeah, she did win her qualification match, but considering that getting her hands on Laura Steele was something she wanted for months now, going through because a teapot was shoved into her skull wasn't how she was hoping things would end. Neither was nearly succumbing to a sleeper from DeCaro, only for Gray to shove her hand down her throat immediately after. Hope Jodie uses Purell!
9. LAURA STEELE- The mere fact that she's not lying dead in a pool of her own blood this morning knocks her up a notch, because while she didn't win, she ended the match against Becky on her terms. Which might actually end up costing her in the long run- she can't escape from Becka forever.
10. APRIL EVANS- Yup. Still winless without Penny Buchanan at her side. April needs to learn to walk (i.e. WIN), before she can run (i.e. get a title shot). Needless to say, she won't be getting 'next'.
11. TRINITY- Despite a brutal sneak attack to start the match, Serafina dispatched her in less than five minutes. Given what we've seen from Trinity previously, clearly something's wrong. An extended break might be just what she needs.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
SHOW RANKINGS: Breaking Point 8.24.13
While it certainly didn't match the over the top OMGWTF ness of Scotland, the Germany show was still pretty off the wall, with flying food, vomit, absolute skull fuckings, and an emotional win for one of the most loved women in the company.
1. EILEEN AMARO- In an absolutely brilliant and emotional win, Eileen became the first person to defeat the Ultraviolence Champion in a champions vs. champions match. We all know Winnie is looking down on her with pride.
2. PENNY BUCHANAN- Normally when we say a match is disgusting, it's because it had Michelle Taylor in it. Penny overcame disgusting on an entirely different (and worse) level to keep her momentum going.
3. SAMARA STEELE- Love her or hate her, Sammy did something last night that we've all wanted to do for a very VERY long time- beat the holy fuck out of Laura Steele. Samara's now sitting on a five match winning streak.
4. LEONA VEGA- Finally some signs of life from the high flyer, who came out swinging with a strong gameplan against NHB. Of course, being helped out a bit by Laura Steele didn't hurt matters... for once.
5. KATE STEELE- I think its fair to say that the way Eileen was, Kate didn't have much of a chance. Then again, Kate seemed awfully distracted, too. She might want to screw her head on straight if she wants to keep her UV title..
6. ALYSSON GARDNER- That actually took a lot longer than I expected. Which means the door is wide open for Gabby to take the Michelle Taylor challenge.
7. MIKALEA DEMIDOV- Mika may have met her match last night. Not in NHB, but in the fact that Laura might just be better at inspiring raw unbridled hatred born strictly out of irritation.
8. JESSIKA HEXSTAR- You can't fault her gameplans. They certainly are... original and effective. However, there always seems to be something lacking in the execution.
9. CLAIRE BLACK- Claire was her usual efficient self, although everything more or less went to hell around her. Then again, that seems to be the price of dealing with Sophia Black.
10. ANGELA HINCHCLIFFE- The Powerhouse of NHB was pretty efficient, as she took relatively little punishment compared to her tag partner. And I think by now everyon can't wait for her to punch Laura's stupid face in.
11. JEM MICHAELS- Took a lot of abuse in her match, but kept on going, showing tremendous heart. NHB will turn the corner soon, I can tell. And all the better if it comes against Frosted Steel.
12. SOPHIA BLACK- Just once, I'd like to watch Sophia try and wrestle a match without damn near inciting a riot.
13. LAURA STEELE- That was quite cathartic, to be honest. Everything came crashing down on Laura's head last night (or rather, Laura's head came crashing down on everything), and I don't think there's a person in this company that feels sorry for her.
14. MICHELLE TAYLOR- SIX!
1. EILEEN AMARO- In an absolutely brilliant and emotional win, Eileen became the first person to defeat the Ultraviolence Champion in a champions vs. champions match. We all know Winnie is looking down on her with pride.
2. PENNY BUCHANAN- Normally when we say a match is disgusting, it's because it had Michelle Taylor in it. Penny overcame disgusting on an entirely different (and worse) level to keep her momentum going.
3. SAMARA STEELE- Love her or hate her, Sammy did something last night that we've all wanted to do for a very VERY long time- beat the holy fuck out of Laura Steele. Samara's now sitting on a five match winning streak.
4. LEONA VEGA- Finally some signs of life from the high flyer, who came out swinging with a strong gameplan against NHB. Of course, being helped out a bit by Laura Steele didn't hurt matters... for once.
5. KATE STEELE- I think its fair to say that the way Eileen was, Kate didn't have much of a chance. Then again, Kate seemed awfully distracted, too. She might want to screw her head on straight if she wants to keep her UV title..
6. ALYSSON GARDNER- That actually took a lot longer than I expected. Which means the door is wide open for Gabby to take the Michelle Taylor challenge.
7. MIKALEA DEMIDOV- Mika may have met her match last night. Not in NHB, but in the fact that Laura might just be better at inspiring raw unbridled hatred born strictly out of irritation.
8. JESSIKA HEXSTAR- You can't fault her gameplans. They certainly are... original and effective. However, there always seems to be something lacking in the execution.
9. CLAIRE BLACK- Claire was her usual efficient self, although everything more or less went to hell around her. Then again, that seems to be the price of dealing with Sophia Black.
10. ANGELA HINCHCLIFFE- The Powerhouse of NHB was pretty efficient, as she took relatively little punishment compared to her tag partner. And I think by now everyon can't wait for her to punch Laura's stupid face in.
11. JEM MICHAELS- Took a lot of abuse in her match, but kept on going, showing tremendous heart. NHB will turn the corner soon, I can tell. And all the better if it comes against Frosted Steel.
12. SOPHIA BLACK- Just once, I'd like to watch Sophia try and wrestle a match without damn near inciting a riot.
13. LAURA STEELE- That was quite cathartic, to be honest. Everything came crashing down on Laura's head last night (or rather, Laura's head came crashing down on everything), and I don't think there's a person in this company that feels sorry for her.
14. MICHELLE TAYLOR- SIX!
Saturday, August 24, 2013
FUTURE SHOCK THERAPY: Episode 11.3 Recap
So episode three is in the books, and it was every bit as action packed as we expected. SHockingly, it was kept pretty well in order. I was expecting things to break down much quicker than they did, and we never did devolve into complete and utter chaos.
Luckily for the five participants, there won't be an elimination this week, as awful travel planning and flight delays have done that for us. But in keeping with a (soon to be well established) Future Shock Therapy tradition, we'll be doing our (now) customary post-episode power rankings. Keep in mind that these span the entire season, not just a single episode.
1. MARLA LEE- Even though Marla didn't win, she didn't really do anything to knock herself from her perch as the season favorite. And she proved to be the most well-prepared for the match, that shield weapon proved to be the most widely used and efficient weapon of the lot. The chaos of the match worked against her, but she's still likely the front runner.
2. LOLLIPOP- Poor Lollipop just can't catch a break. In the first episode, she had the unenviable task of putting Helga through a table- and still nearly managed to pull it off. Second episode, she seemed the most likely to escape dodge ball the victor- until Helga cheap shotted her. And this episode, she was well on her way to victory again, before Marla caught her from behind and sent her flying. Still, with her energy, and the fact that she's just flat out more likeable than the rest of the season, I still have Lollipop making the finals.
3. VELVET RAVEN- I said Velvet needed to step up, and she did in a huge way, being by far the most dominant woman of the night, to push her all the way up from the hot seat to a relatively safe third. If she keeps this up, she could defintely force her way into the finals of the season.
4. LEAH O'QUINN- Three episodes in, and Leah just... exists. She's barely done anything of note, other than appearing in double thanks to Marla's machinations, but she also really hasn't done anything over the top to humiliate herself. She better find a way to make herself stand out or her time is numbered.
5. LANA STAR- With Velvet's sudden surge thanks to her remarkable performance in Episode 3, Lana drops to the hot seat position. So she is damn lucky the elimination's been set this week, because otherwise, it'd be her packing her things and getting gone. Lana has a reprieve, and two weeks to step it up.
================CUTLINE===============
6. KANNA HAROSHI- It seems to me you might want to try and arrive in LA sooner than the day of the show, just in case something like this happens. But what's done is done, and that's bad news for Kanna, who was probably in third place heading into the episode. She's already been signed onto the main roster, so congratulations for her, but with the UV division as stacked as it is, title shots are going to be hard to come by, and missing this golden opportunity is going to create a huge 'what might have been' for Kanna.
Be sure to vote on the poll to decide your favorite, and we'll be back next Friday for the Episode 11.4 preview!
Luckily for the five participants, there won't be an elimination this week, as awful travel planning and flight delays have done that for us. But in keeping with a (soon to be well established) Future Shock Therapy tradition, we'll be doing our (now) customary post-episode power rankings. Keep in mind that these span the entire season, not just a single episode.
1. MARLA LEE- Even though Marla didn't win, she didn't really do anything to knock herself from her perch as the season favorite. And she proved to be the most well-prepared for the match, that shield weapon proved to be the most widely used and efficient weapon of the lot. The chaos of the match worked against her, but she's still likely the front runner.
2. LOLLIPOP- Poor Lollipop just can't catch a break. In the first episode, she had the unenviable task of putting Helga through a table- and still nearly managed to pull it off. Second episode, she seemed the most likely to escape dodge ball the victor- until Helga cheap shotted her. And this episode, she was well on her way to victory again, before Marla caught her from behind and sent her flying. Still, with her energy, and the fact that she's just flat out more likeable than the rest of the season, I still have Lollipop making the finals.
3. VELVET RAVEN- I said Velvet needed to step up, and she did in a huge way, being by far the most dominant woman of the night, to push her all the way up from the hot seat to a relatively safe third. If she keeps this up, she could defintely force her way into the finals of the season.
4. LEAH O'QUINN- Three episodes in, and Leah just... exists. She's barely done anything of note, other than appearing in double thanks to Marla's machinations, but she also really hasn't done anything over the top to humiliate herself. She better find a way to make herself stand out or her time is numbered.
5. LANA STAR- With Velvet's sudden surge thanks to her remarkable performance in Episode 3, Lana drops to the hot seat position. So she is damn lucky the elimination's been set this week, because otherwise, it'd be her packing her things and getting gone. Lana has a reprieve, and two weeks to step it up.
================CUTLINE===============
6. KANNA HAROSHI- It seems to me you might want to try and arrive in LA sooner than the day of the show, just in case something like this happens. But what's done is done, and that's bad news for Kanna, who was probably in third place heading into the episode. She's already been signed onto the main roster, so congratulations for her, but with the UV division as stacked as it is, title shots are going to be hard to come by, and missing this golden opportunity is going to create a huge 'what might have been' for Kanna.
Be sure to vote on the poll to decide your favorite, and we'll be back next Friday for the Episode 11.4 preview!
Friday, August 23, 2013
INCOMING! Velocity 8.29.13 Preview
So... what do they call K-pop in Korea?
Seoul music!
...sorry.
So anyways, the FFW tour de force continues, with our fourth international stop on what is proving to be a taxing tour. If you're unlucky enough to be scheduled to appear at all four shows (including the Future Shock taping), that's 24,560 miles of travel. In one week!
Frequent flier miles ahoy.
Anyways, off to Busan we go, at the very bottom of the Korean peninsula on the eastern side, just across that narrow stretch to Japan. I'm looking forward to it, myself. The city's no slouch- 3.5 million denizens, and looks absolutely gorgeous from all accounts. Looking most forward to the cosmopolitan Centrum City, which has, among other things, Shinsegae, the world's largest department store. Also looking to check out Seomyeon, which appears to be Korea's answer to Times Square.
Of course, it won't all be just sightseeing. We've also got a trip to the Sajik arena and Velocity. And boy, is it going to be awesome for the main event, I can tell you that much!
MARIE REYNOLDS vs. CHRISTELLE GILLETE
I think everyone had more or less the same reaction to hearing about this match- Christelle Gillette is still employed? We haven't seen her in over four months, and even then, just sparingly. So, at least the Frenchwoman will be fresh. Now, looking at this "Psycho Centerfold"... I've never seen her in action but she sounds quite experienced, with a healthy amount of success to boot. So, yeah, I'll buy into the hype and see what she's made of.
OPPA MARIE STYLE
LEONA VEGA vs. TIFA HEAFY
Tifa sure made waves with her debut last week, arriving on scene with her gal pal Freya Kane to call out International Incident. It's definitely got the foreigners rattled- they were certainly flustered. I haven't seen all that much of Tifa, but Leona certainly hasn't gotten off on the right foot around here. So, like with Marie, I'm gonna buy into the hype and pick the newcomer to win
OPPA TIFA STYLE
GABRIELLE CRIMSON vs. MICHELLE TAYLOR
Do you think Aly and Gabby have a bet to see which one could dispatch Ankle Biter quicker? I hope so. That's the only way this contest is going to be competitive in any way, shape or form.
OPPA GABBY STYLE
TAG TEAM MATCH
THE MEANEST GIRLS (Holly Adams & Madelyne McTaggert) vs. THE RICHARDSONS (Lisa Richardson & Sarah Richardson)
I think everyone was praying that the Meanest Girls would prove to be all bark and no byte, overhyped, and absolutely due for a train wrecking. No dice- both women proved their worth in spectacular fashion in their debut, and have set to pissing pretty much everyone off from a one night local talent to the #1 contender for the FFW title. What an impact.
Now they make their team debut against the Richardson sisters, neither one of which has had a match in so much as a year, and much longer since they've won one. Fairly certain no amount of Sk8ing or Breast Stomping is going to save the Ditz Brigade.
OPPA BLONDETOURAGE STYLE
MISTY WHITMORE vs. TABATHA BELMONT
Tabby's looking to build off her July 4 win over Destiny Campbell. But then she's ran into a sore, angry, and recently humiliated Misty Whitmore. Misty Whitmore is not fun to face when she's sore, angry, and recently humiliated.
OPPA MISTY STYLE
SIX FEMME TAG
KATE STEELE & THE WITCHES BREW (Stephanie Dallins & Sunny Kyoun) vs. JESSIKA HEXSTAR & CLUB CK VIP (Kara Harrington & Undine)
With the Trios division just recently being announced, this will be a good preview match for what's to come, especially as the latter team is likely to be a fixture in that division. Sunny and Steph are going into this sore as fuck, after going through the Future Shock tournament less than 48 hours prior, with their only break in competing featuring a transPacific plane ride. But do you think Sunny effing Kyoun is going to lose in her native land? Not unless Future Shock Fight Night opens up some sort of rift in the Brew. Add in the reigning UV champion, and it's going to be a long night for Hex and the VIP's. They can be ruthless too, but with the emotions running so high for the Brew, I expect them to send the Korean fans home happy.
OPPA BREWSTEELE STYLE
Seoul music!
...sorry.
So anyways, the FFW tour de force continues, with our fourth international stop on what is proving to be a taxing tour. If you're unlucky enough to be scheduled to appear at all four shows (including the Future Shock taping), that's 24,560 miles of travel. In one week!
Frequent flier miles ahoy.
Anyways, off to Busan we go, at the very bottom of the Korean peninsula on the eastern side, just across that narrow stretch to Japan. I'm looking forward to it, myself. The city's no slouch- 3.5 million denizens, and looks absolutely gorgeous from all accounts. Looking most forward to the cosmopolitan Centrum City, which has, among other things, Shinsegae, the world's largest department store. Also looking to check out Seomyeon, which appears to be Korea's answer to Times Square.
Of course, it won't all be just sightseeing. We've also got a trip to the Sajik arena and Velocity. And boy, is it going to be awesome for the main event, I can tell you that much!
MARIE REYNOLDS vs. CHRISTELLE GILLETE
I think everyone had more or less the same reaction to hearing about this match- Christelle Gillette is still employed? We haven't seen her in over four months, and even then, just sparingly. So, at least the Frenchwoman will be fresh. Now, looking at this "Psycho Centerfold"... I've never seen her in action but she sounds quite experienced, with a healthy amount of success to boot. So, yeah, I'll buy into the hype and see what she's made of.
OPPA MARIE STYLE
LEONA VEGA vs. TIFA HEAFY
Tifa sure made waves with her debut last week, arriving on scene with her gal pal Freya Kane to call out International Incident. It's definitely got the foreigners rattled- they were certainly flustered. I haven't seen all that much of Tifa, but Leona certainly hasn't gotten off on the right foot around here. So, like with Marie, I'm gonna buy into the hype and pick the newcomer to win
OPPA TIFA STYLE
GABRIELLE CRIMSON vs. MICHELLE TAYLOR
Do you think Aly and Gabby have a bet to see which one could dispatch Ankle Biter quicker? I hope so. That's the only way this contest is going to be competitive in any way, shape or form.
OPPA GABBY STYLE
TAG TEAM MATCH
THE MEANEST GIRLS (Holly Adams & Madelyne McTaggert) vs. THE RICHARDSONS (Lisa Richardson & Sarah Richardson)
I think everyone was praying that the Meanest Girls would prove to be all bark and no byte, overhyped, and absolutely due for a train wrecking. No dice- both women proved their worth in spectacular fashion in their debut, and have set to pissing pretty much everyone off from a one night local talent to the #1 contender for the FFW title. What an impact.
Now they make their team debut against the Richardson sisters, neither one of which has had a match in so much as a year, and much longer since they've won one. Fairly certain no amount of Sk8ing or Breast Stomping is going to save the Ditz Brigade.
OPPA BLONDETOURAGE STYLE
MISTY WHITMORE vs. TABATHA BELMONT
Tabby's looking to build off her July 4 win over Destiny Campbell. But then she's ran into a sore, angry, and recently humiliated Misty Whitmore. Misty Whitmore is not fun to face when she's sore, angry, and recently humiliated.
OPPA MISTY STYLE
SIX FEMME TAG
KATE STEELE & THE WITCHES BREW (Stephanie Dallins & Sunny Kyoun) vs. JESSIKA HEXSTAR & CLUB CK VIP (Kara Harrington & Undine)
With the Trios division just recently being announced, this will be a good preview match for what's to come, especially as the latter team is likely to be a fixture in that division. Sunny and Steph are going into this sore as fuck, after going through the Future Shock tournament less than 48 hours prior, with their only break in competing featuring a transPacific plane ride. But do you think Sunny effing Kyoun is going to lose in her native land? Not unless Future Shock Fight Night opens up some sort of rift in the Brew. Add in the reigning UV champion, and it's going to be a long night for Hex and the VIP's. They can be ruthless too, but with the emotions running so high for the Brew, I expect them to send the Korean fans home happy.
OPPA BREWSTEELE STYLE
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
INCOMING! Future Shock Fight Night 2 8.27.13
Geez Louise are we gonna rack up the Frequent Flier miles this week. After a show in Cologne, its a trip back around the world to South Korea, with a quick stop in Seattle for the second Annual Future Shock Fight Night. And of course, the Future Shock Cup will be up for grabs, with seven women competing for the right to enter the next Season of Champions. And for just the second time ever, a title will be defended in a televised special. Talk about a busy action packed night!
FUTURE SHOCK CUP QUALIFIER #1
SERAFINA DECARO vs. TRINITY
Serafina is arguably the most successful Future Shock Champion we've ever had, having turned her prize into the longest championship reign in FFW history. But if there's one woman who's gotten her number on a fairly consistent basis, it's Trinity. That being said, Serfafina is probably wrestling at an even higher level now than she did back during Season 6, while it almost seems Trinity's missed a step due to a few recent stumbles. Expect DeCaro to wear down Trinity, dodge a couple of screwballs along the way, and advance.
PREDICTION: Serafina DeCaro
FUTURE SHOCK CUP QUALIFIER #2
STEPHANIE DALLINS vs. JODIE GRAY
Jodie's certainly gone a one eighty on the attitude, going from an absurd amount of cockiness and predisposition to an almost unbearable amount of self-pity. Now, there's a lot of people inclined to give me the blame/credit for that, but let's face it, we've known all along the girl's a neurotic pathological liar. Stephanies neurotic too, although in a slightly more endearing "Ha ha, Lyn's gonna die painfully" way. Also, she's strong as hell, as the poor Rudos and Trinity found out the hard way.
PREDICTION: Stephanie Dallins
FUTURE SHOCK CUP QUALIFIER #3
REBECKA HATE vs. LAURA STEELE
Ah, now this is the one we've been waiting for! Becky's been wanting a crack at her tag partner for a couple months now, and considering all that Laura and the Agency of Steele have done for (read: to) her in that time, not a lot of people can blame her. Laura's shown to have a devious side, in her rather cheat-filled victory over Jem Micheaels a couple weeks ago. But does anyone really think that Becky isn't going to power through this after waiting so long for a chance to strangle Laura? I'm not sure if either Frosted Steel or Cousin Steele are going to survive the night!
PREDICTION: Rebecka Hate
GABRIELLE CRIMSON vs. APRIL EVANS
This will actually be Gabby's first official FFW match, despite her Future Shock season ending well over a year ago. She'll be looking to get going against April Evans, who is still searching for her first singles win as a member of the main FFW roster. This could be the darkhorse match of the night, folks (not surprising, as its the only one without title implications). I'm tipping the nod slightly to April, primarily based on experience- she's been in FFW dogfights before, and she knows that level required of her. Gabby's stepping into the major leagues for the first time, and she's about to be in for a rude shock on the challenge level she faces here.
PREDICTION: April Evans
FUTURE SHOCK CUP FINALS- FOUR-WAY
SUNNY KYOUN vs. SERAFINA DECARO vs. STEPHANIE DALLINS vs. REBECKA HATE
An absolute barnburner of a four-way awaits us in the Future Cup finals, anyway you slice it. Obviously, the only guarantee here is Sunny, who's picked up that coveted first round bye in the battle royal, and the other spots could quite possibly be taken by either Trinity, Jodie Gray, or Laura Steele.
Obviously, the advantage lies with Sunny, who got to bypass those pesky qualifiers and will be entering the match as the freshest daisy in the garden. But what would be a clear advantage in a one on one match is diminished with each opponent added, to the point that any high ground Sunny posesses could be gone within five minutes. In fact, Kyoun best be praying that Dallins wins HER match, because if Gray advances, she could be looking at a three on one beatdown right off the bat as the other competitors try to drag her down to their energy level.
But don't think Sunny doesn't have a chance, either. She's probably the pluckiest wrestler in this match right now, if not the whole company, and she's a VERY tough cookie to crack. Her heart, along with Steph's power and Becky's ruthlessness, give all three a definite chance here. But I have to look at Serafina, who has both experience and history on her side. The biggest downside she has is that as a primary submissionist, she's going to need a LOT of time to get a victory-capable hold executed fully, and time is tough to come by in a four-way. But as the match wears on, and the energy levels dip, this will favor Serafina more and more
PREDICTION: Serafina Reynolds
FUTURE SHOCK CHAMPIONSHIP
CASEY ATHERTON (c) vs. JO MCFARLANE
For the first time in her two-plus years of FFW employment, Josephine Theresa McFarlane is getting a title shot. I'd like to say it's been a long time coming, but Jo herself can admit that the majority of her run here has been somewhat underwhelming. That's changed in recent months, and Jo enters this match having won four out of her last five, including being the first to crack the Mika Demidov code.
I WANT Jo to win this. I really do. Her tenacity, even while she was in some pretty bad slumps, is admirable, and she has fought tooth and nail and come up short in some pretty big matches. But then you look at Casey, and her dominant run to the Future Shock Championship, and her taking five of her last seven, and it's tough to see Casey giving up the title. She nearly did against Jodie, and I think it served as a wakeup call for her, and she'll be at her definite A-level when she goes up against Jo.
PREDICTION: Casey Atherton
FUTURE SHOCK CUP QUALIFIER #1
SERAFINA DECARO vs. TRINITY
Serafina is arguably the most successful Future Shock Champion we've ever had, having turned her prize into the longest championship reign in FFW history. But if there's one woman who's gotten her number on a fairly consistent basis, it's Trinity. That being said, Serfafina is probably wrestling at an even higher level now than she did back during Season 6, while it almost seems Trinity's missed a step due to a few recent stumbles. Expect DeCaro to wear down Trinity, dodge a couple of screwballs along the way, and advance.
PREDICTION: Serafina DeCaro
FUTURE SHOCK CUP QUALIFIER #2
STEPHANIE DALLINS vs. JODIE GRAY
Jodie's certainly gone a one eighty on the attitude, going from an absurd amount of cockiness and predisposition to an almost unbearable amount of self-pity. Now, there's a lot of people inclined to give me the blame/credit for that, but let's face it, we've known all along the girl's a neurotic pathological liar. Stephanies neurotic too, although in a slightly more endearing "Ha ha, Lyn's gonna die painfully" way. Also, she's strong as hell, as the poor Rudos and Trinity found out the hard way.
PREDICTION: Stephanie Dallins
FUTURE SHOCK CUP QUALIFIER #3
REBECKA HATE vs. LAURA STEELE
Ah, now this is the one we've been waiting for! Becky's been wanting a crack at her tag partner for a couple months now, and considering all that Laura and the Agency of Steele have done for (read: to) her in that time, not a lot of people can blame her. Laura's shown to have a devious side, in her rather cheat-filled victory over Jem Micheaels a couple weeks ago. But does anyone really think that Becky isn't going to power through this after waiting so long for a chance to strangle Laura? I'm not sure if either Frosted Steel or Cousin Steele are going to survive the night!
PREDICTION: Rebecka Hate
GABRIELLE CRIMSON vs. APRIL EVANS
This will actually be Gabby's first official FFW match, despite her Future Shock season ending well over a year ago. She'll be looking to get going against April Evans, who is still searching for her first singles win as a member of the main FFW roster. This could be the darkhorse match of the night, folks (not surprising, as its the only one without title implications). I'm tipping the nod slightly to April, primarily based on experience- she's been in FFW dogfights before, and she knows that level required of her. Gabby's stepping into the major leagues for the first time, and she's about to be in for a rude shock on the challenge level she faces here.
PREDICTION: April Evans
FUTURE SHOCK CUP FINALS- FOUR-WAY
SUNNY KYOUN vs. SERAFINA DECARO vs. STEPHANIE DALLINS vs. REBECKA HATE
An absolute barnburner of a four-way awaits us in the Future Cup finals, anyway you slice it. Obviously, the only guarantee here is Sunny, who's picked up that coveted first round bye in the battle royal, and the other spots could quite possibly be taken by either Trinity, Jodie Gray, or Laura Steele.
Obviously, the advantage lies with Sunny, who got to bypass those pesky qualifiers and will be entering the match as the freshest daisy in the garden. But what would be a clear advantage in a one on one match is diminished with each opponent added, to the point that any high ground Sunny posesses could be gone within five minutes. In fact, Kyoun best be praying that Dallins wins HER match, because if Gray advances, she could be looking at a three on one beatdown right off the bat as the other competitors try to drag her down to their energy level.
But don't think Sunny doesn't have a chance, either. She's probably the pluckiest wrestler in this match right now, if not the whole company, and she's a VERY tough cookie to crack. Her heart, along with Steph's power and Becky's ruthlessness, give all three a definite chance here. But I have to look at Serafina, who has both experience and history on her side. The biggest downside she has is that as a primary submissionist, she's going to need a LOT of time to get a victory-capable hold executed fully, and time is tough to come by in a four-way. But as the match wears on, and the energy levels dip, this will favor Serafina more and more
PREDICTION: Serafina Reynolds
FUTURE SHOCK CHAMPIONSHIP
CASEY ATHERTON (c) vs. JO MCFARLANE
For the first time in her two-plus years of FFW employment, Josephine Theresa McFarlane is getting a title shot. I'd like to say it's been a long time coming, but Jo herself can admit that the majority of her run here has been somewhat underwhelming. That's changed in recent months, and Jo enters this match having won four out of her last five, including being the first to crack the Mika Demidov code.
I WANT Jo to win this. I really do. Her tenacity, even while she was in some pretty bad slumps, is admirable, and she has fought tooth and nail and come up short in some pretty big matches. But then you look at Casey, and her dominant run to the Future Shock Championship, and her taking five of her last seven, and it's tough to see Casey giving up the title. She nearly did against Jodie, and I think it served as a wakeup call for her, and she'll be at her definite A-level when she goes up against Jo.
PREDICTION: Casey Atherton
Saturday, August 17, 2013
INCOMING! Breaking Point 8.25.13 Preview
The FFW World tour burns on, as we make one more stop in Europe before heading out to the Wild Wild East to rock Asia for a few shows. First up, though, a stop in Cologne, Germany for Breaking Point, the first in what's going to prove a rapid stretch for FFW- three shows on three separate continents in five days. There's going to be a lot of tired people traipsing back across the Pacific Ocean on the last Friday in August, that's for sure. Anyways, here's what to look for in Cologne: Steeles. Like all three of them. In the top two matches of the show.
Apparently, Germany's still paying for WWII. And dearly.
TAG TEAM MATCH
INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT (Leona Vega & Mikalea Demidov) vs. NO HOLDING BACK (Angela Hinchcliffe & Jem Michaels)
Both teams are coming into this one needing a win. NHB comes into this match 0-1 on tagging, having lost to Anger Management already, and then the unthinkable happening last Thursday with Jem losing to Laura Steele in what is hopefully not an accurate preview of Sin & Sacrifice. Meanwhile, Mika's been flat out exposed by Jo McFarlane and Misty Whitmore over the past couple of months, and Leona came up short in her debut against Nancy Dietz. With as loaded a tag team division as we have, neither of these teams are anywhere near consideration for a crack at the Unity belts. A win for either one will improve that viability somewhat. I'm going to go with NHB here- Jem and Ange seem due, are more experienced, and once you chip away Mika's shenanigans... what is left?
WINNERS: No Holding Back
ALYSSON GARDNER vs. MICHELLE TAYLOR
Aly's on a two match losing streak, but those came to Kara and in that clusterfuck of a scramble, so it's not exactly the worst thing in the world, and certainly doesn't merit a sounding of the Emergency Gimme Match System. But hey, a free win's a free win, right?
WINNER: Alysson Gardner
JESSIKA HEXSTAR vs. PENNY BUCHANAN
We haven't seen Jess since her and CCKVIP's asswhupping at the hands of KOTO and Cupcake, so expect her to be well rested for what is suddenly going to prove to be a busy stretch for her. Penny's been significantly more active, although a throttling of Michelle Taylor generally is a light workout at best. Penny's aiming for the UV title at Sin & Sacrifice, and she's not about to allow some dopey non-contender psychobitch to derail her.
WINNER: Penny Buchanan
SOPHIA BLACK vs. CLAIRE BLACK
NO RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER. At least that I'm aware of. And I'm sure Claire hopes it stays that way. Sophia actually comes in the favorite here, having been on somewhat of a hot streak, while Claire has actually won three of her last four, but hasn't really been turning that many heads. I'm actually going to go with the small upset here. Sophia likes to bully and terrorize her opponents to gain an advantage, and Claire just doesn't seem like the type to get into that. And as we've seen before, all it takes is one punch, and Sophia will probably be too busy shrieking threats and indignities to see it coming.
WINNER: Claire Black
SAMARA STEELE vs. LAURA STEELE
THere IS a relationship here, although there's no much love between the families. Laura's as positively annoyingly English as you can get, and if you thought that didn't go over well in Scotland, wait until the German's get a hold of her. And that's STILL nothing compared to Samara, who, despite being an obnoxious self-absorbed idiot, is still quite talented, and, when focused, is very dangerous. She's going to be quite focused for this one.
WINNER: Samara Steele
Believe it or not, the Ultraviolence Champion is 2-0 in Champion vs. Champion matches over the last couple of years (both coming over the No Surrender Division). That being said, Kate's going to deal with mad distraction in just the preceding match as she watches her sister fight her cousin with her husband mixed up somewhere in between. That'd make it hard for anyone to focus. And then to top it off, there's Eileen waiting there, who, by the way, has just lost once in the past nine months. That one loss was in (what was supposed to be) another Champions match, to Jenny Williams, who lost her title the week before and leveraged a win into a title shot at Sin & Sacrifice. Think Eileen may be a bit keen to not let history repeat itself?
WINNER: Eileen Amaro
Friday, August 16, 2013
FUTURE SHOCK THERAPY: Episode 11.3 Preview
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the definitive, authorative, existential source on all things Future Shock has once again returned, with FUTURE SHOCK THERAPY, our weekly look into our rookie talent competition. Be sure to check back each week for news, insight, and rumors surrounding FFW's most popular spinoff show!
So, we're down to six, with the voters having sent off another contestant, and this one was kind of a surprise. Anyways, a quick look on the status so far...
8th Place: Fiona O'Dalaigh
7TH PLACE: HELGA
I WANT to be surprised by this, but I can't be. Despite somehow obtaining two very good results in the first two episodes (winner the first, runner up the second), Helga is sent packing, a victim of what I like to call Nessa Wall syndrome. Remember her, from Season 8? Practically dominated episode after episode only to be sent home from the final three because she was such an unlikeable cunt? Yeah, Helga might hae just out-Nessa'd Nessa. She wasn't nearly as dominant or talented as Wall was, but she was probably twice as unbearable. And she took the voters for granted, whining when they DIDNT pick her to win, but still gave her enough to advance after the first choice. That's a great way to turn people off of you. So Helga's gone, and from what I'm hearing, an offer from FFW won't be forthcoming. So good riddance, fare the well, and don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you!
Still in the Running (In Alphabetical Order)
Kanna Haroshi
Lana Star
Leah O'Quinn
Lollipop
Marla Lee
Velvet Raven
Alright, onto Episode number three, which, if you're aware of the standard Future Shock pattern, means back into the ring we go! And we got a doozy here- a BRING YOUR OWN WEAPONS FOUR CORNERS MATCH. Format's pretty simple. Two women in the ring, four outside, one at each corner. Tag in and out as see fit, first woman to make a pinfall wins it. At least that's what we're going to pretend will happen.
Reality is a bit different, since the first rule of Ultraviolence is that there really aren't any rules. SO I expect to keep in the four corners format for MAYBE four... six minutes if we're lucky. Then it's going to melt down into a free for all, and with fans allowed to supply the weapons, and the wrestlers themselves bringing their own arsenal... we might set the FFW record for concussions in a single event.
THE FAVORITE: The knee-jerk reaction is Marla, of course, considering she's been at the top of pretty much every challenge thus far, and has been dominating the fan vote. But at the same time, she's pulled some pretty uncanny tricks, and I'm not certain she'll have room to pull the same crap. So let's look at Lollipop here, who probably would have won the first challenge if her last opponent didn't weigh four hundred pounds. And had a great chance of winning the second challenge until getting fucked over by the same woman. Well, that woman's GONE, and Lollipop has the stamina and agility to survive a clusterfuck like this. So long as her overzealous peppiness and taunting don't piss everyone else off to gang up on her, I can totally see Lolli popping this.
MOST TO PROVE: Velvet Raven should be thanking whatever gods she does or doesn't believe in that she's still in this competition. First eliminated in the first competition, and she didn't last much longer in the second. In a season with so many colorful characters, you're going to need more than a revealing costume with a mask and a cool sword to get through. If Velvet wants to make the final five and beyond... she needs to step it the fuck up.
So, we're down to six, with the voters having sent off another contestant, and this one was kind of a surprise. Anyways, a quick look on the status so far...
8th Place: Fiona O'Dalaigh
7TH PLACE: HELGA
I WANT to be surprised by this, but I can't be. Despite somehow obtaining two very good results in the first two episodes (winner the first, runner up the second), Helga is sent packing, a victim of what I like to call Nessa Wall syndrome. Remember her, from Season 8? Practically dominated episode after episode only to be sent home from the final three because she was such an unlikeable cunt? Yeah, Helga might hae just out-Nessa'd Nessa. She wasn't nearly as dominant or talented as Wall was, but she was probably twice as unbearable. And she took the voters for granted, whining when they DIDNT pick her to win, but still gave her enough to advance after the first choice. That's a great way to turn people off of you. So Helga's gone, and from what I'm hearing, an offer from FFW won't be forthcoming. So good riddance, fare the well, and don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you!
Still in the Running (In Alphabetical Order)
Kanna Haroshi
Lana Star
Leah O'Quinn
Lollipop
Marla Lee
Velvet Raven
Alright, onto Episode number three, which, if you're aware of the standard Future Shock pattern, means back into the ring we go! And we got a doozy here- a BRING YOUR OWN WEAPONS FOUR CORNERS MATCH. Format's pretty simple. Two women in the ring, four outside, one at each corner. Tag in and out as see fit, first woman to make a pinfall wins it. At least that's what we're going to pretend will happen.
Reality is a bit different, since the first rule of Ultraviolence is that there really aren't any rules. SO I expect to keep in the four corners format for MAYBE four... six minutes if we're lucky. Then it's going to melt down into a free for all, and with fans allowed to supply the weapons, and the wrestlers themselves bringing their own arsenal... we might set the FFW record for concussions in a single event.
THE FAVORITE: The knee-jerk reaction is Marla, of course, considering she's been at the top of pretty much every challenge thus far, and has been dominating the fan vote. But at the same time, she's pulled some pretty uncanny tricks, and I'm not certain she'll have room to pull the same crap. So let's look at Lollipop here, who probably would have won the first challenge if her last opponent didn't weigh four hundred pounds. And had a great chance of winning the second challenge until getting fucked over by the same woman. Well, that woman's GONE, and Lollipop has the stamina and agility to survive a clusterfuck like this. So long as her overzealous peppiness and taunting don't piss everyone else off to gang up on her, I can totally see Lolli popping this.
MOST TO PROVE: Velvet Raven should be thanking whatever gods she does or doesn't believe in that she's still in this competition. First eliminated in the first competition, and she didn't last much longer in the second. In a season with so many colorful characters, you're going to need more than a revealing costume with a mask and a cool sword to get through. If Velvet wants to make the final five and beyond... she needs to step it the fuck up.
SHOW RANKINGS: Velocity 8.15.13
Wrestling can get funny at times. We came into Thursday Night expecting a match for the ages when Valerie Lamb returned to Scotland to wrestle for the first time in four years. Instead, we got about a whopping three and a half minutes of ring time for Val, who was shunted aside by her partner for reasons I can't even begin to fathom. Meanwhile, the Blondetourage dominated the early beginnings of the show, making about as many enemies as you could before even having your first official match (and then some more afterwards!). And Laura Steele won. Anytime that happens, you just have to chalk the night up to 'Let it go, Jake. It's Wrestlingtown'.
Show rankings:
1. SCARLETT KINCAID- Believe it or not, Scarlett was not the legal woman in the match for very long, but she was pretty damn effective, though, catching Chunks at the end of the night with a flash case of Scarlett Fever to pick up the victory for Fight or Flight.
2. KELLY MCGUFFIN- Kelly took the brunt of the abuse for her team, but she still played a pretty important role, managing to sneak a tag out to Scarlett while SPectra Fantasia was arguing, and then stopping Val from breaking up the final pin.
3. VALERIE LAMB- Once VAl finally got in the ring in her hometown, she was flat out unstoppable- the only time either of the Kincaid girls got a hand on her was when Kelly tripped her while she was trying to break up the pin. Unfortunately for her, that was the one that made all the difference.
4. HOLLY ADAMS- After all the hype and anticipation, the Meanest Girls didn't disappoint. Or maybe they did since pretty much everyone and their brother was rooting for them to lose. They didn't thanks to Holly picking apart Crystal Hate
5. MADELYNE MCTAGGERT- And Maddy took out Allison Deas/Williams/Sullivan in slightly less, but still quite, convincing fashion. And beat the hell out of poor Tessa McWhatserface backstage. And two on oned Misty Whitmore. Can anyone here remember anyone else having a more eventful debut night?
6. REBECKA HATE- In what turned out to be a VERY good night for Frosted Steele (or not, because I'm not sure how happy Becky is with her partners success), Hate certainly outdid her sister in steamrolling the hapless Michelle Taylor
7. CAMILLA PAZZINI- For being in a two on one situation for most of the match (irregardless of whether or not she foolishly put herself there in the first place), Chunks actually held her own pretty decently. But blind tagging back in with Val about to bring the fucking house down? Even I consider that a dick move.
8. MISTY WHITMORE- Not sure if Misty was officially in a match or not, but we'll go ahead and give her a ranking, even though it wasn't exactly the most... awe-inspiring performance of her life. Who can blame her, though? THe Meanest Girls are living up to their name, and Misty will be in much better shape when she teams with her sister at Sin & Sacrifice.
9. LAURA STEELE- Its not that the British version of Sarah Peek actually managed to win a match... it's that she's now on a winning streak. Two in a row. I wish I was kidding. I also wish Todd was with all those things he said during the match last night.
10. JEM MICHAELS- Whatever message NHB was hoping to send to Frosted Steele last night, I don't think they managed to get it out right. Jem especially has had some difficulty making the transition from the indies to the major league.
11. CRYSTAL HATE- Whatever momentum Crystal was hoping to pick up from beating Michelle Taylor hasn't really come to manifest, as she's lost her second in a row.
12. ALLISON SULLIVAN- Changing her name (AGAIN) hasn't made things any better for Allison, who lost her third in a row and now five of her last six. A shame too, knocking off one of the Blondetourage would have been a massive boon.
13. MICHELLE TAYLOR- At this point, there's really nothing left to say, but to just count the losing streak as it goes up. So... FIVE!
Show rankings:
1. SCARLETT KINCAID- Believe it or not, Scarlett was not the legal woman in the match for very long, but she was pretty damn effective, though, catching Chunks at the end of the night with a flash case of Scarlett Fever to pick up the victory for Fight or Flight.
2. KELLY MCGUFFIN- Kelly took the brunt of the abuse for her team, but she still played a pretty important role, managing to sneak a tag out to Scarlett while SPectra Fantasia was arguing, and then stopping Val from breaking up the final pin.
3. VALERIE LAMB- Once VAl finally got in the ring in her hometown, she was flat out unstoppable- the only time either of the Kincaid girls got a hand on her was when Kelly tripped her while she was trying to break up the pin. Unfortunately for her, that was the one that made all the difference.
4. HOLLY ADAMS- After all the hype and anticipation, the Meanest Girls didn't disappoint. Or maybe they did since pretty much everyone and their brother was rooting for them to lose. They didn't thanks to Holly picking apart Crystal Hate
5. MADELYNE MCTAGGERT- And Maddy took out Allison Deas/Williams/Sullivan in slightly less, but still quite, convincing fashion. And beat the hell out of poor Tessa McWhatserface backstage. And two on oned Misty Whitmore. Can anyone here remember anyone else having a more eventful debut night?
6. REBECKA HATE- In what turned out to be a VERY good night for Frosted Steele (or not, because I'm not sure how happy Becky is with her partners success), Hate certainly outdid her sister in steamrolling the hapless Michelle Taylor
7. CAMILLA PAZZINI- For being in a two on one situation for most of the match (irregardless of whether or not she foolishly put herself there in the first place), Chunks actually held her own pretty decently. But blind tagging back in with Val about to bring the fucking house down? Even I consider that a dick move.
8. MISTY WHITMORE- Not sure if Misty was officially in a match or not, but we'll go ahead and give her a ranking, even though it wasn't exactly the most... awe-inspiring performance of her life. Who can blame her, though? THe Meanest Girls are living up to their name, and Misty will be in much better shape when she teams with her sister at Sin & Sacrifice.
9. LAURA STEELE- Its not that the British version of Sarah Peek actually managed to win a match... it's that she's now on a winning streak. Two in a row. I wish I was kidding. I also wish Todd was with all those things he said during the match last night.
10. JEM MICHAELS- Whatever message NHB was hoping to send to Frosted Steele last night, I don't think they managed to get it out right. Jem especially has had some difficulty making the transition from the indies to the major league.
11. CRYSTAL HATE- Whatever momentum Crystal was hoping to pick up from beating Michelle Taylor hasn't really come to manifest, as she's lost her second in a row.
12. ALLISON SULLIVAN- Changing her name (AGAIN) hasn't made things any better for Allison, who lost her third in a row and now five of her last six. A shame too, knocking off one of the Blondetourage would have been a massive boon.
13. MICHELLE TAYLOR- At this point, there's really nothing left to say, but to just count the losing streak as it goes up. So... FIVE!
Sunday, August 11, 2013
SHOW RANKINGS- Breaking Point 8.10.13
FFW's international tour kicked off on the right foot in Lisbon, opening up with a complete mauling, and closing out with another huge fan-favorite win. Let's take a look at how the women at BP stacked up!
1. WENDY BRIESE- Her hot streaks continues, with her second main event win in as many weeks. With four former FFW Champions defeated in the last four months, Wendy's establishing herself as a monster threat.
2. AIMEE EASTER- The Singles winning streak continues for Aimee, who managed to overcome the Big Match Jenny with an efficient offense that never let Williams gain momentum.
3. EMMA MACNAMARA- There were several times that I thought she had the match won, only for WEndy to squeak out. But she can't be happy about losing to a woman she positively detests. I pity her next opponent!
4. PENNY BUCHANAN- The Pain Train rolled right on over Michelle, and has now won eight consecutive non-title matches. And you assholes now want ME to fight her? Fuck that!
5. JENNIFER WILLIAMS- Even though 'big match Jenny' got by and large shut down, she still put out an impressive effort against Aimee. She still remains one of the nastiest draws to face in the company.
6. MILEENA SAVAGE- Dante Knox's name should be here instead, considering he flat out won this match for her, getting involved no less than three seperate occasions, including one of the most heinous acts we've ever seen- attacking a colleague for no provocation!
7. STEPHANIE SULLIVAN- Had a second win over Savage literally yanked away from her, and suffered an injury to her boyfriend to boot. She needs to focus on Tara, but when the rubber match happens, this is gonna be one pissed off queen.
8. NANCY DIETZ- Not a surprise that FFW's resident walking tattoo proved to be every bit of efficient in FFW as SVW. And be honest, she probably loved it without having to deal with Colby Morrison.
9. DESTINY CAMPBELL- Brutal, efficient win for Campbell, who's won three out of her first four, and has now shelved an opponent with a month-long injury. Time to step up her competition.
10. LEONA VEGA- Gave Dietz a heck of a fight, including a bizarre-yet impressive- Orbit DDT that nearly got her the win. But Dietz power just won out in the end.
11. CANDI- Horrible night for Candi, who not only had her winning streak snapped, but was injured in the process, being knocked out for a month. With luck, this won't completely kill her momentum.
12. MICHELLE TAYLOR- Expect anyone else here?
1. WENDY BRIESE- Her hot streaks continues, with her second main event win in as many weeks. With four former FFW Champions defeated in the last four months, Wendy's establishing herself as a monster threat.
2. AIMEE EASTER- The Singles winning streak continues for Aimee, who managed to overcome the Big Match Jenny with an efficient offense that never let Williams gain momentum.
3. EMMA MACNAMARA- There were several times that I thought she had the match won, only for WEndy to squeak out. But she can't be happy about losing to a woman she positively detests. I pity her next opponent!
4. PENNY BUCHANAN- The Pain Train rolled right on over Michelle, and has now won eight consecutive non-title matches. And you assholes now want ME to fight her? Fuck that!
5. JENNIFER WILLIAMS- Even though 'big match Jenny' got by and large shut down, she still put out an impressive effort against Aimee. She still remains one of the nastiest draws to face in the company.
6. MILEENA SAVAGE- Dante Knox's name should be here instead, considering he flat out won this match for her, getting involved no less than three seperate occasions, including one of the most heinous acts we've ever seen- attacking a colleague for no provocation!
7. STEPHANIE SULLIVAN- Had a second win over Savage literally yanked away from her, and suffered an injury to her boyfriend to boot. She needs to focus on Tara, but when the rubber match happens, this is gonna be one pissed off queen.
8. NANCY DIETZ- Not a surprise that FFW's resident walking tattoo proved to be every bit of efficient in FFW as SVW. And be honest, she probably loved it without having to deal with Colby Morrison.
9. DESTINY CAMPBELL- Brutal, efficient win for Campbell, who's won three out of her first four, and has now shelved an opponent with a month-long injury. Time to step up her competition.
10. LEONA VEGA- Gave Dietz a heck of a fight, including a bizarre-yet impressive- Orbit DDT that nearly got her the win. But Dietz power just won out in the end.
11. CANDI- Horrible night for Candi, who not only had her winning streak snapped, but was injured in the process, being knocked out for a month. With luck, this won't completely kill her momentum.
12. MICHELLE TAYLOR- Expect anyone else here?
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