Once again, its time for wrestling manager and analyst Daniel Pollaski to go over the news, reviews, and previews of Femme Fatale Wrestling! All content is the sole opinion of the author and does not reflect the views of Femme Fatale Wrestling, its wrestlers, or administration. Or Wendy Briese, for that matter, so don’t go jumping her in the hallway if you get butthurt about this. Bitch.
The Power-X’s inspirational thought of the week!
Well I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded
You don't have to read my mind
To know what I have in mind
Honey you oughta know
Now you move so fine
Let me lay it on the line
I wanna know what you're doin' after the show
Now it's up to you, we can make a secret rendezvous
Just me and you, I'll show you lovin' like you never knew
That's why I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I feel a fever burning inside of me
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, hot blooded
If it feels alright
Maybe you can stay all night
Shall I leave you my key?
But you've got to give me a sign
Come on girl, some kind of sign
Tell me, are you hot mama? You sure look that way to me
Are you old enough? Will you be ready when I call you bluff?
Is my timing right? Did you save your love for me tonight?
- “Hot Blooded” Foreigner
Hey, kids!
Was Cold-Blooded amazing or what? Fifteen incredible matches played out over the course of a whopping FOUR-HOUR Pay-per-view! Surprisingly, we only got to see one title change hands, although a brand new title also finally found it’s first owner. There were several stunning upsets, a boatload of controversy, and quite a few scores settled... and a few more started.
In short, it was a pretty typical FFW PPV.
But I’ll tell you what, the only thing cold about that entire PPV was the expression on Kaitlynn Stryfe’s face after she accidentally drove a knee into her husband’s face. From the moment that godawful Pink song started to play to kick things off, the fans were on their feet going nuts, and with that much energy being expelled, the fuggin ice was melting in the coolers at the concession stands!
But the moment has come and gone, and now we turn our sights to the coming weeks, with three more shows coming up on the dockett. We’ll get a good look at them soon enough, but first of all, the part of the column that everyone really is here for, and that’s to see where your favorite wrestler falls in this week’s installment of the...
RANKINGS!
As I forewarned last week, we did have two prople drop out of the rankings this time- Christine Smith and Sophia Black, both of whom were fired and neither of whom will be terribly missed. You add in the FOUR newcomers who debuted in FFW (well, technically five, but Cara was already ranked due to NYR), and our list grows again, swelling to an absolutely amazing, incredible, holy-mother-of-god I can’t believe this is just one company FORTY-NINE MOTHERFUCKING WRESTLERS!
And THIS kids, is why I decided to focus on the Top 25. I’d be here all fucking day if I didn’t.
I should warn you, given that three of the four title matches that already had a champion ended in a retention (and six of the top 7 won at CB), there’s surprisingly little post-PPV shuffling at the top of the list. There is however, much movement further down, with several people rocketing up the rankings, and a couple others taking some fairly substantial drops.
Anyways, here are the 24 unlucky women who won’t quite make the cut this time around.
#49- DESTINY LOVEHEART [-5]
#48- TRACI LOVEHEART [-5]
#47- CHARITY DEAS [-2]
#46- CHARLOTTE GAGE [-5]
#45- SARAH RICHARDSON [-5]
#44- STEPHANIE SULLIVAN [-5]
#43- ALLISON WRIGHT [NEW]
#42- KIMBERLY ARIES [-5]
#41- ELIZABETH BLACKWELL [-7]
#40- KASSANDRA [-4]
#39- LIGHTNING [-4]
#38- JO MCFARLANE [-6]
#37- TABATHA BELMONT [+1]
#36- JODIE GRAY [NEW]
#35- ARIANNA MILLAR [-9]
#34- MELANIE AVILO [NEW]
#33- HANNA ELLIOT [+2]
#32- ALYSSA FOXWORTH [+10]
#31- REBBECCA VALENTINE [-2]
#30- LUMINA FERRARI [-5]
#29- ALYSSON GARDNER [+1]
#28- ARABELLA DE ROSSI [-4]
#27- SHANE SANDERS [-9]
#26- CARA STONE [-3]
Yeah, a lot of people did move down. Remember though, we had quite a few debuts here, and some of them didn’t exactly fall flat on their face. But jeebus, that Top 25 threshold is starting to get a little harder and harder to obtain, isn’t it? Remember kids, Michelle Taylor ranked 24th in the first installment of this. Kinda goes to say how far we’ve come.
Anyways, break time is over! Let’s head to the top of the mountain!
#25- JENNIFER WILLIAMS [NEW]
You probably couldn’t ask for a better debut in FFW than what Jennifer Williams pulled off at Cold-Blooded, beating four other women in the Pick Your Poison Ladder match. And remember, in the fifth season of Future Shock, both Gray and Stone finished ahead of her, so to pull off this win probably gives Jen a bit of a sense of revenge. While she mulls over her future poison pick, her attention turns to Cara Stone, the woman she vultured to take the PYP match from. Think Cara might be a little hot for payback?
#24- CRYSTAL HATE [-3]
Hate wanted to get back into that Television title picture, but Summer had other ideas, and with a few crippling mistakes, Hate will have to wait for another shot at Sohpie Richards. A well-deserved couple weeks off is in store for her next, as she tries to regroup from her disappointment.
#23- EILEEN AMARO [-8]
Oh, no no no no NO! Moments after being inducted into the prestigious Mackenzie Mafia, Eileen turned around and laid an egg in a big way, losing to Alyssa Foxworthy of all people. And yes, Alyssa did pull the tights, but come on... is there anyone in the fucking WORLD who had even the tiniest inkling that Alyssa wasn’t going to cheat in this match? Eileen’s truly living up to her name, the Tsunami. She came into FFW in a deluge, but the water’s are starting to recede. It’s time for the tide to come back in.
#22- IGNIS [+11]
UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION
Ignis showed remarkable class by admitting she deserved to be disqualified against Atherton (even if it was an accident). She then showed remarkable ass as she climbed into the ring. And finally, remarkable brass as she and Hayley gutted out a very very difficult Pink, Inc to become the new Tag Champions. A well done congratulations to the Welsh.
#21- RAVEN WICKED [-1]
Raven was only one of two Femme Fatales in this week’s top 25 to not compete at Cold Blooded, but considering her love for gratuitioius violence, she probably was more than entertained watching Camilla and Rose face off in that Last Woman Standing match, as well as Jo and Kelly in the Prison of Punishment. Still, you had to think Raven wishes she was back out there. Unfortunately, for the time being, she’s forced to wait.
#20- DESIRAE KAIN [-1]
What a tough tough break for Desirae, having gone from on the verge of being a double champion two weeks ago to having nothing to show for all the hard work she’s put in during her first couple months in FFW. While Desi’s remained solid, you have to wonder if the pick of Arianna, who’s far more inconsistent, as a tag team partner is starting to prove more a mistake than the initial results indicated. Still, she got her Season 4 belt back, and that will have to keep her company as she and Arianna try to figure out how to get those tag belts back.
#19- EMMA MCINTYRE [+3]
That match... certainly had a bizarre ending that I think left a bad taste in more than a few peoples mouths. It’s not often that you see the referee stopping a match because he was pulled out of the ring (normally, they just yell at the person who did it), so while part of me is glad that a ref actually had the balls to stand up for themselves, another part of me wishes he would have let it continue, so we could have had a more proper ending.
#18- SUMMER [+9]
Summer’s probably kicking herself that she couldn’t have given that performance against Lumina Ferrari, but no matter now. She’s on her way to another title, the FFW Television Championship, and if she can keep her momentum up, and more importantly, stay consistent, I’d think she might just pose the most serious threat yet to Sophie Richards’ record breaking reign.
#17- QUEEN MACHINE [=]
TECHNICALLY, that match was a no contest, but it was Jenny who ended the night completely out cold on her back. And even if Stryfe wasn’t exactly conscious to count the fall, that was a definite three-count, official or not. Still, official results are official for a reason, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t going to be the last we see of Jenny’s man-stealing ways.
#16- HAYLEY DARK [+10]
UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION
What Hayley couldn’t do with the established Belladonna, she accomplished a little less than a year later with a greenhorn rookie straight out of Future Shock. In seriousness though, Bounce & Pounce are the yet another example of how drive and dedication can trump size and natural talent in this business. But maintaining this success as the tag division heats up around them is going to be no easy feat, and it starts with a rematch in just a couple short weeks.
#15- CASEY ATHERTON [-1]
Poor Casey. Getting her face smashed in like that repeatedly was bad enough, but then to lose the match because Desirae Kain picked THAT moment to get her title back? Even though Casey had that coming the moment she stole Desi’s title in the first place, you have to feel for her that she got burned by her own fire.
#14- ROSE JENKINS [-2]
Well, its unfortunate, but the injuries Rose sustained during her match with Camilla Pazzini turned out to be enough to keep even a behemoth like her down, and I don’t mean for just ten seconds. Our illustrious owner confirmed today that was regrettably released, so this will be her final ranking. We wish her the best of recovery, and hope to see her in FFW again some time a little further down the road.
#13- STARLA MCCLOUD [=]
Starla must have landed wrong when Lumina threw her over the top rope, because she wasn’t able to get in, and stop Lumina from tapping once Wendy got her in the Banshee. As such, Starla misses out on the opportunity to be the first FFW No Surrender Champion. Still, as revealed later in the night, Starla will be getting a second shot at the belt at Chaos Theory, and the odds are gonna be STACKED in her favor.
#12- ISABELLA PAZZINI [-1]
It was kind of weird to see the Diva of Hardcore get out-hardcored like that, but in what might have gone down as the most brutal match of the night, Crystal Hilton managed to down her, for what I’d have to say was more or less a surprising upset. Not sure where Isabella is going to go from here, other than her likely opposition of Samantha Star and the A-List.
#11- KELLY MCGUFFIN [+5]
Finally, some A-Lister who can actually succeed! The carrot was dangling in the form of Jo McFarlane, and Kelly leaped up and chewed her face off, keeping her undefeated streak alive in the process. Now that she’s into the fold, which target is Samantha going to stick her on first?
#10- KATHERINE STRYFE [-1]
Well, shock of all shocks, Kat made it to Cold Blooded just in time to get pinned by Stacey Mackenzie, and fail to regain the title. Still, all isn’t quite lost for Kat, she’s going to have one more chance to regain the title, when she goes one on one with Stacey- on free TV no less! This will likely be Kat’s last chance at the FFW Championship for a while, so you damn well better be sure she’s going to make the most of it.
#9- KAITLYNN STRYFE [+1]
Kitty was a bit on the defiant side after she accidentally decked her husband, then gave her rival for his affections the mother of all Bitch Kicks. And while Kaitlynn was the only one to walk out of that ring on the happy side of conscious, it was revealed earlier today that for all that, the match against Queen Machine is officially a no contest. That can’t be putting Kaitlynn in that good of a mood- nor will the prospect of talking to her husband after he wakes up. Oh well, Bitchy Kitty is EXACTLY what i had in mind when I invited her ot do the awards for this weeks Power X. :)
#8- SOPHIE RICHARDS [=]
TELEVISION CHAMPION
The other member of the top-25 to not compete at Cold Blooded, I’m sure Sophie nevertheless enjoyed watching Crystal Hate and Summer fight for the right not to face her. We all know that Crystal gave her a hell of a match the last time they faced, but this time it will be Summer taking her shot. Can Sophie find it in her to bring another defense home when they at last meet?
#7- CRYSTAL HILTON [=]
After beating Isabella Pazzini in that parking lot brawl, Crystal is finding herself in a MUCH better position than she was sitting in entering 2012, now holding victories over Pazzini, Kat Stryfe, and Wendy Briese. Realistically, she could get the nod towards any title in the company, but for the time being, she’s about to embark on a foray into the tag ranks. With Kaitlynn Stryfe as her partner, if these two girls can find it in themselves to get along (and there’s nothing to suggest they can’t... yet) Drop Dead Dangerous could turn out to be a very lucrative endeavor.
#6- TARA THUNDER [=]
EVOLUTION CHAMPION
Give Tara credit- going up against a newcomer like she did against Melanie Avilo isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do, given that said newcomer generally has a lot of studying material to prepare with, while you have minimal. Tara acquitted herself well, to net her second successful defense of the Evolution Championship. Who ends up taking the next shot could be an interesting decision, as the contendership seems wide open right now. Still, if I had to guess, I’d put Crystal Hilton, Casey Atherton, Queen Machine, and Emma McIntyre as the ones Tara’d best be on the look out for.
#5- SCARLETT KINCAID [-3]
Scarlett’s first bid to regain the championship she lost six months ago proved unsuccessful, and Stacey walked away with the title. However, of all the losers at the Cold Blooded PPV, Scarlett’s probably the biggest winner. After all- she’s in the main event of Chaos Theory already, where she’ll wait for her shot against the winner of the Stacey vs. Kat rematch that will take place sometime in the coming weeks.
#4- WENDY BRIESE [+1]\
NO SURRENDER CHAMPION
The White Knight’s got gold back around her waist for the first time in four months, and I’ll be the first to tell you she couldn’t be happier about it, even if she’s a bit peeved by the comments from our owner later in the night, and the absolutely uphill battle she’ll face in her first defense. For now though, Wendy sets her sights on a different kind of challenge. The SVW Champion is coming to FFW, and Wendy is hoping to give the man a welcome he’ll never forget!
#3- COLLEEN [+1]
Colleen’s bid for redemption took a turn for the worse about a minute into the match, when Shane connected with a nasty kick in the head that nearly put Colleen down for good. You have to credit her for fighting back like that. Then again, she did get a chance to get properly warmed up with an unwarranted attack on a certain lovable manager/columnist. With the Shane Sanders problem now behind her, Colleen can start her trudge back towards the top. She keeps doing what she’s doing, and I wouldn’t be too stunned if she’ll be in the last match at Conviction. And I say these nice things even after the bitch beat me up Saturday Night. The things I do for the sake of journalism...
#2- CAMILLA PAZZINI [+1]
ULTRAVIOLENCE CHAMPION
You have to give Chunks credit. The entire time she’d been dealing with Rose, Camilla acted like the outcome of that match was a foregone conclusion, and while Rose certainly had her on the proverbial ropes a couple of times, one has to think that this entire feud couldn’t have possibly gone better for Camilla. Now that her favorite plaything is out of the picture though... who’s left? Here’s a hint: Watch Byte This.
#1- STACEY MACKENZIE [=]
FEMME FATALE CHAMPION
“Simply Better” remained Simply the Best after fending off a tough double challenge from Katherine Stryfe and Scarlett Kincaid, catching Stryfe out of the air and picking up the win. However, Stacey’s not out of the woods yet with these two. She’s got Kat in the near future, and Scarlett waiting in the wings at Chaos Thoery. A champions work is never done!
And there you have it folks! The Post Cold-Blooded climb up the rankings, once again all the way to the top of the mountain! Except... we’re not done yet. Because, for the first time ever, we’re going to have...
THE POWER X TAG TEAM RANKINGS!
I’d been getting a lot of requests (not coincidentally, mainly from Bounce & Pounce fans), for Tag Team rankings, and so, after careful consideration, I figured... what the hell? Now, don’t get too excited, these aren’t going to appear every column. Since tag teams rarely compete every single cycle, we’d probably go for several weeks at a time with teams in the same order. So as of right now, expect to see the Tag Team Rankings only in the column right after a major PPV. Lucky for you, this is one of those columns.
We’ll have a different set of rules here for eligibility. And they are...
1. A team must be registered in the official list of FFW Tag Teams, which can be found in the tag team area of the roster section of the website. I really have no interest in ranking one-shot teams that form for just a single night.
2. Both wrestlers must be ranked in the current Power X. It’s hard to call a tag team active when one or both of their members haven’t set foot in the ring in weeks.
3. A team must have had at least one match as an official tag team. I may bend this one a bit, if you makeshift a tag team, succeed at it, and decide to team together on a permanent basis, I’ll probably let it slide.
4. Placement in the Power X has absolutely no bearing on where a team may fall in the tag rankings.
Got it? Good.
The first installment sees six teams eligible for ranking, with another couple (NYC, DDD) looking to make their way into the division in the coming weeks. Anyways, here we go...
#6- TWISTED PATH 2.0 (Destiny Loveheart & Traci Loveheart)
Seriously... do I even need to explain this?
#5- THE DANGER QUEENS (Charlotte Gage & Kassandra)
Charlie and Kass return to action at Velocity for the first time after Kassandra’s injury, to face the newly formed Golden Girls. With 2011 ending so sourly for the DQ’s, let’s hope they get 2012 off to the right start.
#4- THE ETERNAL FLAME (Katherine Stryfe & Rebbecca Valentiine)
The Flame have taken a back seat a bit while Kat Stryfe was focused on trying to regain the FFW Championship, and, at least until her rematch with Stacey, will likely to remain that way. Still, there’s no reason to suggest that the 2011 FFW Tag Team of the Year can’t rise up and make another run at the belts.
#3- PINK, INC. (Arianna Millar & Desirae Kain)
Something about these two just seemed... off at Cold Blooded, as if the chemistry wasn’t quite as strong as it was when they beat the Flame for the titles. I don’t know... maybe Arianna’s realizing that FFW is a lot harder to compete in day to day than the SVW T&A division is, and it’s taking its toll. Either way, their rematch with B&P at Breaking Point could spell make or break for this duo.
#2- VIOLENT FEMMES (Arabella De Rossi & Colleen)
All the while as Pink Inc and Bounce & Pounce took their shots, you knew that these two weren’t going to be far away from the picture. Smart money is them getting their shot at Chaos Theory, especially since it looks like Colleen’s not in for anything else at the moment.
#1- BOUNCE & POUNCE (Hayley Dark & Ignis)
It took longer than most people thought, but B&P finally got their title shot, and they capitalized big time, knocking off Ari and Desi, and taking their place atop the mountain. How long they’ll remain there remains to be seen, with the likes of PI, VF, and some new teams coming in to join the fray.
Hope you liked the first installment of the tag rankings! We’ll have the next one lined up for ya after Chaos Theory!
Oh fuck... what’s that heading towards us?
INCOMING!
Oh wait, this is just the part of the column where we look at the upcoming shows on the FFW calendar! Three big ones coming up... no time to waste!
VELOCITY- FEBRUARY 9 FROM MIAMI, FLORIDA
We’re goin’ coast to coast here! After spending January in sunny California, we head to equally sunny Florida for our next couple shows, the first being an action packed Velocity! First up is a debut match, featuring the incoming Freya Kane, yet another Irish beauty singing up for a crack at Femme Fatale glory. Not an easy debut though, she’s going up against Lightning, who’s been sitting idly by on the sidelines for a while, and would love to punk the newcomer in her debut. After that it’s tag team time with the Danger Queens returning to action, taking on the Golden Girls, a team of Sarah Richardson and one of the Demidov sisters (like I’ve figured those two out yet). Given Sarah’s track record here, she better pray she picked a damn good partner if she hopes to get past the Queens.
Next on the dockett is a well-rested Hanna Elliot, who got to sit out Byte This, and watch Alyssa Foxworthy punk Eileen Amaro in that ring. Hanna gets a chance to put Alyssa in her place as the two collide. Surely Alyssa won’t get away with that bullshit again... right? Future Shock Season 5 is next on the showdown, as Season Champion Melanie Avilo faces Jodie Gray. Jodie was less than happy when she wasn’t voted into the finals, so getting to face Mel and prove the fans wrong was something she was hoping for. Now she has that chance, so she better capitalize!
Things then take a turn for the brutal, with the once-again red hot Colleen taking on the suddenly-cold Desirae Kain. Desi’s taken some hard lumps over the past couple of weeks, but we’ve already seen just how tough the Frenchwoman is, and Colleen does have an exploitable Achilles heel in there somewhere, so don’t rule out the Season 4 Champ just yet. And finally, the main event will see SVW Champion Johnny Moxie as part of a talent exchange program with my other employer. He’ll face Wendy Briese, and considering these two are about as polarly opposite as you could get, this could be one hell of an explosive match. Doesn’t make it any easier that Starla McCloud is the referee, and she’ll likely be doing whatever Samantha wants her to do. So the question is- which does Samantha find more distasteful? Wendy holding the No Surrender Championship, or Johnny Moxie’s mere existence?
BYTE THIS III- FEBRUARY 15 FROM DAYTONA BEACH, FLORIDA
FFW’s third internet charity PPV is certainly a unique one, as FFW will team up with the ARCA racing league (in which they will be sponsoring a car this year), coming from Daytona’s infamous Speedweeks, so if you’re a wrestling and racing fan (or just a wrestling fan!) this is going to be a must-watch event! Fans will have a chance to meet all of their favorite Femme Fatales as well as ARCA drivers. I’ve even been told that some NASCAR Camping World Truck and Nationwide series drivers will also be attending! And of course, there’s going to be some amazing wrestling on par too. Just remember, we’re holding this on the actual beach, NOT at the Speedway, so make sure you’re showing up at the right place!
First match, probably won’t fall into the ‘amazing’ category, as it’s tough to see Charity Deas putting up much of a fight against Melanie Avilo, so if Mel stumbles against Jodie at Velocity, at least she’ll pick up her first official FFW win here. Things get into a much higher gear on the next go-round, when Eileen Amaro, who’s gotta be starving for a good win at this point, hopes to get that against Casey Atherton. And we all know Eileen isn’t going to be putting up with Alex Adonis’ bullshit at all.
Remember earlier in the column when I asked what’s next for Cammie, and said watch Byte This? Next match would be why- Cara Stone and Alysson Gardner in a friendly (!?) little no disqualification match, and I’d wager there could be Ultraviolence title implications for the winner (should they want it). After that, a Six Femme Tag Match is a-go, with Club CK’s Kara, Hayley, and Ignis taking on the Eternal Flame and Tabatha Belmont. Remember, it was Bounce & Pounce beating the Flame at the LAST Byte This that put them in position to take the titles at Cold Blooded, so you can expect the Flame will want to be returning the favor here, and I’m sure Tabby will be more than willing to help her friends.
Finally,. this could either be a great main event, or a total washout, and that’s going to depend on which Shane Sanders we see walking through that door. If we get the Shane that beat Colleen at Violent Night, this is going to be a barnburner as Kaitlynn Stryfe will be doing everything she can to hold the Texas Muse off. But Shane’s unpredictable, and we could be seeing a Sanders that succumbs to Kitty with ease as well. After Cold Blooded, my money’s going to be on the good Shane showing up, full of fire and ready to take the fight to Kitty.
BREAKING POINT- FEBRUARY 18 FROM CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA
After Byte This, it’s just a short jaunt up the Atlantic coast to Charlotte, where our next event takes place, with a double main event! First match sees another Season 5 Future Shock contest, where Cara Stone and Jennifer Williams face off. Remember, Cara came VERY close to winning the Ladder match at Cold Blooded, only for Jennifer to take her out and get the briefcase at the last second. Cara’s going to be hot for redemption here, moreso considering the two women haven’t really ever seen eye to eye. And Shitley Mercer makes her long “awaited” return to FFW. At least its a match she can win this times- the always beatable Charity Deas.
From then on out, the order of the day tends towards tag teams, first with two new teams squaring off. The New York Crew features Stephanie Sullivan and Kimberly Aries, two women who’vre really yet to make much of a splash. That could change if they can beat the heavily favored Drop Dead Dangerous, who, featuring Crystal Hilton and Kaitlynn Stryfe, amount to the first true Superteam (a team featuring two VERY well established singles wrestlers) FFW has seen in a while. We do return to singles for one more match (albeit against former tag partners), when Eileen Amaro faces the recent A-List expulsee, Jo McFarlane. Considering how both girls have stumbled the past couple of weeks, desperation could be the order of the day here.
After that, it’s all tagging, starting with a rematch from Cold Blooded, with Pink, Inc trying to regain the tag titles from Bounce & Pounce, although it’ll be damn hard to top the match we got at CB. Still, with the amount of pure speed we’ll be seeing from these four women, this should be yet another exciting fast paced match. And then comes the main event, which should tear the house down. Nightmare Inc, the famous, now-defunct tag team, will be on opposite sides this time around. Emma teams with Stacey Mackenzie, meaning the current and a former FFW Champion will be standing side by side against the Eternal Flame. And you know this is the kind of match the Flame excells in, especially considering that there’s been some friction between Kat & Emma. This one is going to be one to watch!
And now that you know what’s coming up, you don’t have a single fucking excuse to miss it! GET ON THAT COUCH AND TURN ON THE TV, MOTHERFUCKER!
AWARDS!
YES! I’ve been trying to get Kaitlynn Stryfe to do my awards for a couple of weeks now, and I’ve finally gotten ahold of her, and she’s agreed! Considering the events of Cold Blooded, I figured Kitty would be at her absolute snarky-catty bitch mode best, and... yeah. I wasn’t disappointed. At all. Take it away, the REAL Ms. Stryfe (other than Kat, of course)!
Match of the Week
Evolution Championship
Tara Thunder vs. Mel Avilo
Truthfully, I'll probably be accused of being way off base in calling this the highlight of the week in favor of the Main Event at Cold Blooded. Not that I care what most of you people think. I didn't watch the Main Event. Everyone knows that Stacey is the best around, why waste time watching while Katherine Stryfe and Kamikaze Kincaid go through the motions? Right, back to this match-- Tara Thunder is an absolute wrecking ball. Despite the fact that I loathe her brother and wish he would just crawl off somewhere and die, the fact remains that she is the shining star that made the middle of the show even watchable. The way she handled that pathetic little reality show winner was epic. Kudos, Tara. I'm in awe. And to watch Mel Avilo bitch and moan afterwards on Twitter about how upset she was over the loss was just hilarious. Entertainment value through the roof on this one!
Jeebus, I didn’t know Kitty was so sweet on Tara Thunder. If she and Tara ever form a tag team, I would completely shit myself. And then start a witness protection program to hide B&P, Pink Inc, and the Eternal Flame for their own safety. Luckily, she’s with Crystal Hilton, so my drawers remain unsoiled, and the rest of the tag division remains off life-support. Runners up!
- Mackenzie vs. Kincaid vs. Stryfe: Kitty may not have watched it, but I sure did, and I saw an absolutely dynamic match that saw all three women leave nothing out in that ring. But yeah, Mackenzie was just that much better at Cold Blooded, and she showed it. Still, the individual rematches coming up should be just as fun to watch
- Bounce & Pounce vs. Pink Inc: This was early in the show, and that’s kind of a shame, because it tired the crowd out for a good couple matches afterwards! All four women were all over the place, but in the end, Hayley and Ignis managed to work it just a bit better, andpick up the win. Can’t wait for the rematch, though!
Winner of the Week
Alysson Gardner
Is it poor form to pick myself? I suppose I can do without a certain someone accusing me of being vain in addition to being a poor human being on other fronts, can't I? Oh well, then if I must pick, obviously I'm going to choose a kindred spirit. Coming off a disappointing loss to Katherine Stryfe's cardboard cutout partner Rebbecca Valentine, Aly needed this win even without adding the fact that this was a grudge match not unlike my own feud with that psychotic Queen Machine. At least Alysson can move on to bigger and better things without Stephanie Sullivan hanging over her head. Here's hoping that gets put to bed easier than my little issue does-- and hoping that mine doesn't take FOUR years for resolution.
I have no issue whatsoever who you pick for it, be it yourself or otherwise. But Aly’s a decent pick. And yeah, I’d hate it if I had to wait four years to punch Stephanie Sullivan in her stupid face too.
- Kelly McGuffin: Oh my god... now the A-List has TWO people who know how to win matches! I’m actually kinda starting to get worried here...
- Wendy Briese: You damn right I’ll pick my client here. Wendy got a huge monkey off her back when she regained gold (well, titanium), and became the first ever No Surrender Champion. And even better.. she’s gonna hold onto it for more than two weeks! w00t!
Loser of the Week
Queen Machine
Taking this literally, because really, is there anyone out there more deserving of the title of loser? I think not. I won that match fair and square, even if I had to count that pinfall myself, with MY husband's limp hand. I can't believe people were cheering for that disgusting homewrecker. Doesn't anyone other than Wendy Briese respect marriage anymore?
I’ll allow it, but only because “Lucky Beneficiary of a No Contest Decision” is way too exclusive to be an award.
- Rose Jenkins: Strike Three. You’re out.
- Alex Adonis: There might be a contest between me, Wolf and Carson to see who the BEST manager is.. but there’s no denying who the fucking worst is. I mean, is there anything this lunk hasn’t tried that hasn’t backfired horrifically? He tried to fuck with Pazzini, and started a goddamned WAR. He interfered in the No Surrender, and Starla ended up on her head outside the ring. I won’t even get into the disaster that was the PYP Ladder Match. Oh, and he’s a fucking shitty commentator too.
Douchebag of the Week
Luther Thunder
Not part of the FFW roster, but definitely deserves the mention for the horrible things he said about me during that match while doing commentary. Are you blind and completely oblivious to what that twisted up crazy person did? Did you not see how she deliberately, more than once, tried to force me to injure the man I love... yet you hate on me instead? And really, Luther? Do you seriously need to pull a page from Robbyn Helmsley's book and remind the world that you're Alexander Stryfe's best friend with every single breath? Yeah, we know. Talk about annoying!
Don’t take this the wrong way, Kitty, but the mere fact that Alexander Stryfe actually has a wife and a friend defies so much conventional wisdom...
- Colleen: DID YOU SEE WHAT THAT BITCH DID TO ME? UNPROVOKED, NO LESS (well, okay, I did toss my salad at her, but that was preemptive self-defense!)
- Alyssa Foxworthy: Pro Wrestling Wisdom Tidbit #117: If you win a fucking midcard match by pulling the tights, don’t go parading around acting like you just won the world title. Seriously, you just look like an idiot. And a douchebag.
Thanks for the awards, Kiitty! And if by chance, Kaitlynn has offended you with this tidbit, feel free to hit her up on Twitter @KaitlynnStryfe and give her an earful on what’s what. Just a warning, she will not care. And will more than likely verbally pwn you until you rage-logoff. Because that’s how she rolls.
MEMES OF THE WEEK!
To finish up, got a double dose of memery for ya, taken from some screencaps from the promotional graphics used during the PPV. Enjoy!!
The Power-X’s inspirational thought of the week!
Well I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded
You don't have to read my mind
To know what I have in mind
Honey you oughta know
Now you move so fine
Let me lay it on the line
I wanna know what you're doin' after the show
Now it's up to you, we can make a secret rendezvous
Just me and you, I'll show you lovin' like you never knew
That's why I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I feel a fever burning inside of me
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, hot blooded
If it feels alright
Maybe you can stay all night
Shall I leave you my key?
But you've got to give me a sign
Come on girl, some kind of sign
Tell me, are you hot mama? You sure look that way to me
Are you old enough? Will you be ready when I call you bluff?
Is my timing right? Did you save your love for me tonight?
- “Hot Blooded” Foreigner
Hey, kids!
Was Cold-Blooded amazing or what? Fifteen incredible matches played out over the course of a whopping FOUR-HOUR Pay-per-view! Surprisingly, we only got to see one title change hands, although a brand new title also finally found it’s first owner. There were several stunning upsets, a boatload of controversy, and quite a few scores settled... and a few more started.
In short, it was a pretty typical FFW PPV.
But I’ll tell you what, the only thing cold about that entire PPV was the expression on Kaitlynn Stryfe’s face after she accidentally drove a knee into her husband’s face. From the moment that godawful Pink song started to play to kick things off, the fans were on their feet going nuts, and with that much energy being expelled, the fuggin ice was melting in the coolers at the concession stands!
But the moment has come and gone, and now we turn our sights to the coming weeks, with three more shows coming up on the dockett. We’ll get a good look at them soon enough, but first of all, the part of the column that everyone really is here for, and that’s to see where your favorite wrestler falls in this week’s installment of the...
RANKINGS!
As I forewarned last week, we did have two prople drop out of the rankings this time- Christine Smith and Sophia Black, both of whom were fired and neither of whom will be terribly missed. You add in the FOUR newcomers who debuted in FFW (well, technically five, but Cara was already ranked due to NYR), and our list grows again, swelling to an absolutely amazing, incredible, holy-mother-of-god I can’t believe this is just one company FORTY-NINE MOTHERFUCKING WRESTLERS!
And THIS kids, is why I decided to focus on the Top 25. I’d be here all fucking day if I didn’t.
I should warn you, given that three of the four title matches that already had a champion ended in a retention (and six of the top 7 won at CB), there’s surprisingly little post-PPV shuffling at the top of the list. There is however, much movement further down, with several people rocketing up the rankings, and a couple others taking some fairly substantial drops.
Anyways, here are the 24 unlucky women who won’t quite make the cut this time around.
#49- DESTINY LOVEHEART [-5]
#48- TRACI LOVEHEART [-5]
#47- CHARITY DEAS [-2]
#46- CHARLOTTE GAGE [-5]
#45- SARAH RICHARDSON [-5]
#44- STEPHANIE SULLIVAN [-5]
#43- ALLISON WRIGHT [NEW]
#42- KIMBERLY ARIES [-5]
#41- ELIZABETH BLACKWELL [-7]
#40- KASSANDRA [-4]
#39- LIGHTNING [-4]
#38- JO MCFARLANE [-6]
#37- TABATHA BELMONT [+1]
#36- JODIE GRAY [NEW]
#35- ARIANNA MILLAR [-9]
#34- MELANIE AVILO [NEW]
#33- HANNA ELLIOT [+2]
#32- ALYSSA FOXWORTH [+10]
#31- REBBECCA VALENTINE [-2]
#30- LUMINA FERRARI [-5]
#29- ALYSSON GARDNER [+1]
#28- ARABELLA DE ROSSI [-4]
#27- SHANE SANDERS [-9]
#26- CARA STONE [-3]
Yeah, a lot of people did move down. Remember though, we had quite a few debuts here, and some of them didn’t exactly fall flat on their face. But jeebus, that Top 25 threshold is starting to get a little harder and harder to obtain, isn’t it? Remember kids, Michelle Taylor ranked 24th in the first installment of this. Kinda goes to say how far we’ve come.
Anyways, break time is over! Let’s head to the top of the mountain!
#25- JENNIFER WILLIAMS [NEW]
You probably couldn’t ask for a better debut in FFW than what Jennifer Williams pulled off at Cold-Blooded, beating four other women in the Pick Your Poison Ladder match. And remember, in the fifth season of Future Shock, both Gray and Stone finished ahead of her, so to pull off this win probably gives Jen a bit of a sense of revenge. While she mulls over her future poison pick, her attention turns to Cara Stone, the woman she vultured to take the PYP match from. Think Cara might be a little hot for payback?
#24- CRYSTAL HATE [-3]
Hate wanted to get back into that Television title picture, but Summer had other ideas, and with a few crippling mistakes, Hate will have to wait for another shot at Sohpie Richards. A well-deserved couple weeks off is in store for her next, as she tries to regroup from her disappointment.
#23- EILEEN AMARO [-8]
Oh, no no no no NO! Moments after being inducted into the prestigious Mackenzie Mafia, Eileen turned around and laid an egg in a big way, losing to Alyssa Foxworthy of all people. And yes, Alyssa did pull the tights, but come on... is there anyone in the fucking WORLD who had even the tiniest inkling that Alyssa wasn’t going to cheat in this match? Eileen’s truly living up to her name, the Tsunami. She came into FFW in a deluge, but the water’s are starting to recede. It’s time for the tide to come back in.
#22- IGNIS [+11]
UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION
Ignis showed remarkable class by admitting she deserved to be disqualified against Atherton (even if it was an accident). She then showed remarkable ass as she climbed into the ring. And finally, remarkable brass as she and Hayley gutted out a very very difficult Pink, Inc to become the new Tag Champions. A well done congratulations to the Welsh.
#21- RAVEN WICKED [-1]
Raven was only one of two Femme Fatales in this week’s top 25 to not compete at Cold Blooded, but considering her love for gratuitioius violence, she probably was more than entertained watching Camilla and Rose face off in that Last Woman Standing match, as well as Jo and Kelly in the Prison of Punishment. Still, you had to think Raven wishes she was back out there. Unfortunately, for the time being, she’s forced to wait.
#20- DESIRAE KAIN [-1]
What a tough tough break for Desirae, having gone from on the verge of being a double champion two weeks ago to having nothing to show for all the hard work she’s put in during her first couple months in FFW. While Desi’s remained solid, you have to wonder if the pick of Arianna, who’s far more inconsistent, as a tag team partner is starting to prove more a mistake than the initial results indicated. Still, she got her Season 4 belt back, and that will have to keep her company as she and Arianna try to figure out how to get those tag belts back.
#19- EMMA MCINTYRE [+3]
That match... certainly had a bizarre ending that I think left a bad taste in more than a few peoples mouths. It’s not often that you see the referee stopping a match because he was pulled out of the ring (normally, they just yell at the person who did it), so while part of me is glad that a ref actually had the balls to stand up for themselves, another part of me wishes he would have let it continue, so we could have had a more proper ending.
#18- SUMMER [+9]
Summer’s probably kicking herself that she couldn’t have given that performance against Lumina Ferrari, but no matter now. She’s on her way to another title, the FFW Television Championship, and if she can keep her momentum up, and more importantly, stay consistent, I’d think she might just pose the most serious threat yet to Sophie Richards’ record breaking reign.
#17- QUEEN MACHINE [=]
TECHNICALLY, that match was a no contest, but it was Jenny who ended the night completely out cold on her back. And even if Stryfe wasn’t exactly conscious to count the fall, that was a definite three-count, official or not. Still, official results are official for a reason, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t going to be the last we see of Jenny’s man-stealing ways.
#16- HAYLEY DARK [+10]
UNITY TAG TEAM CHAMPION
What Hayley couldn’t do with the established Belladonna, she accomplished a little less than a year later with a greenhorn rookie straight out of Future Shock. In seriousness though, Bounce & Pounce are the yet another example of how drive and dedication can trump size and natural talent in this business. But maintaining this success as the tag division heats up around them is going to be no easy feat, and it starts with a rematch in just a couple short weeks.
#15- CASEY ATHERTON [-1]
Poor Casey. Getting her face smashed in like that repeatedly was bad enough, but then to lose the match because Desirae Kain picked THAT moment to get her title back? Even though Casey had that coming the moment she stole Desi’s title in the first place, you have to feel for her that she got burned by her own fire.
#14- ROSE JENKINS [-2]
Well, its unfortunate, but the injuries Rose sustained during her match with Camilla Pazzini turned out to be enough to keep even a behemoth like her down, and I don’t mean for just ten seconds. Our illustrious owner confirmed today that was regrettably released, so this will be her final ranking. We wish her the best of recovery, and hope to see her in FFW again some time a little further down the road.
#13- STARLA MCCLOUD [=]
Starla must have landed wrong when Lumina threw her over the top rope, because she wasn’t able to get in, and stop Lumina from tapping once Wendy got her in the Banshee. As such, Starla misses out on the opportunity to be the first FFW No Surrender Champion. Still, as revealed later in the night, Starla will be getting a second shot at the belt at Chaos Theory, and the odds are gonna be STACKED in her favor.
#12- ISABELLA PAZZINI [-1]
It was kind of weird to see the Diva of Hardcore get out-hardcored like that, but in what might have gone down as the most brutal match of the night, Crystal Hilton managed to down her, for what I’d have to say was more or less a surprising upset. Not sure where Isabella is going to go from here, other than her likely opposition of Samantha Star and the A-List.
#11- KELLY MCGUFFIN [+5]
Finally, some A-Lister who can actually succeed! The carrot was dangling in the form of Jo McFarlane, and Kelly leaped up and chewed her face off, keeping her undefeated streak alive in the process. Now that she’s into the fold, which target is Samantha going to stick her on first?
#10- KATHERINE STRYFE [-1]
Well, shock of all shocks, Kat made it to Cold Blooded just in time to get pinned by Stacey Mackenzie, and fail to regain the title. Still, all isn’t quite lost for Kat, she’s going to have one more chance to regain the title, when she goes one on one with Stacey- on free TV no less! This will likely be Kat’s last chance at the FFW Championship for a while, so you damn well better be sure she’s going to make the most of it.
#9- KAITLYNN STRYFE [+1]
Kitty was a bit on the defiant side after she accidentally decked her husband, then gave her rival for his affections the mother of all Bitch Kicks. And while Kaitlynn was the only one to walk out of that ring on the happy side of conscious, it was revealed earlier today that for all that, the match against Queen Machine is officially a no contest. That can’t be putting Kaitlynn in that good of a mood- nor will the prospect of talking to her husband after he wakes up. Oh well, Bitchy Kitty is EXACTLY what i had in mind when I invited her ot do the awards for this weeks Power X. :)
#8- SOPHIE RICHARDS [=]
TELEVISION CHAMPION
The other member of the top-25 to not compete at Cold Blooded, I’m sure Sophie nevertheless enjoyed watching Crystal Hate and Summer fight for the right not to face her. We all know that Crystal gave her a hell of a match the last time they faced, but this time it will be Summer taking her shot. Can Sophie find it in her to bring another defense home when they at last meet?
#7- CRYSTAL HILTON [=]
After beating Isabella Pazzini in that parking lot brawl, Crystal is finding herself in a MUCH better position than she was sitting in entering 2012, now holding victories over Pazzini, Kat Stryfe, and Wendy Briese. Realistically, she could get the nod towards any title in the company, but for the time being, she’s about to embark on a foray into the tag ranks. With Kaitlynn Stryfe as her partner, if these two girls can find it in themselves to get along (and there’s nothing to suggest they can’t... yet) Drop Dead Dangerous could turn out to be a very lucrative endeavor.
#6- TARA THUNDER [=]
EVOLUTION CHAMPION
Give Tara credit- going up against a newcomer like she did against Melanie Avilo isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do, given that said newcomer generally has a lot of studying material to prepare with, while you have minimal. Tara acquitted herself well, to net her second successful defense of the Evolution Championship. Who ends up taking the next shot could be an interesting decision, as the contendership seems wide open right now. Still, if I had to guess, I’d put Crystal Hilton, Casey Atherton, Queen Machine, and Emma McIntyre as the ones Tara’d best be on the look out for.
#5- SCARLETT KINCAID [-3]
Scarlett’s first bid to regain the championship she lost six months ago proved unsuccessful, and Stacey walked away with the title. However, of all the losers at the Cold Blooded PPV, Scarlett’s probably the biggest winner. After all- she’s in the main event of Chaos Theory already, where she’ll wait for her shot against the winner of the Stacey vs. Kat rematch that will take place sometime in the coming weeks.
#4- WENDY BRIESE [+1]\
NO SURRENDER CHAMPION
The White Knight’s got gold back around her waist for the first time in four months, and I’ll be the first to tell you she couldn’t be happier about it, even if she’s a bit peeved by the comments from our owner later in the night, and the absolutely uphill battle she’ll face in her first defense. For now though, Wendy sets her sights on a different kind of challenge. The SVW Champion is coming to FFW, and Wendy is hoping to give the man a welcome he’ll never forget!
#3- COLLEEN [+1]
Colleen’s bid for redemption took a turn for the worse about a minute into the match, when Shane connected with a nasty kick in the head that nearly put Colleen down for good. You have to credit her for fighting back like that. Then again, she did get a chance to get properly warmed up with an unwarranted attack on a certain lovable manager/columnist. With the Shane Sanders problem now behind her, Colleen can start her trudge back towards the top. She keeps doing what she’s doing, and I wouldn’t be too stunned if she’ll be in the last match at Conviction. And I say these nice things even after the bitch beat me up Saturday Night. The things I do for the sake of journalism...
#2- CAMILLA PAZZINI [+1]
ULTRAVIOLENCE CHAMPION
You have to give Chunks credit. The entire time she’d been dealing with Rose, Camilla acted like the outcome of that match was a foregone conclusion, and while Rose certainly had her on the proverbial ropes a couple of times, one has to think that this entire feud couldn’t have possibly gone better for Camilla. Now that her favorite plaything is out of the picture though... who’s left? Here’s a hint: Watch Byte This.
#1- STACEY MACKENZIE [=]
FEMME FATALE CHAMPION
“Simply Better” remained Simply the Best after fending off a tough double challenge from Katherine Stryfe and Scarlett Kincaid, catching Stryfe out of the air and picking up the win. However, Stacey’s not out of the woods yet with these two. She’s got Kat in the near future, and Scarlett waiting in the wings at Chaos Thoery. A champions work is never done!
And there you have it folks! The Post Cold-Blooded climb up the rankings, once again all the way to the top of the mountain! Except... we’re not done yet. Because, for the first time ever, we’re going to have...
THE POWER X TAG TEAM RANKINGS!
I’d been getting a lot of requests (not coincidentally, mainly from Bounce & Pounce fans), for Tag Team rankings, and so, after careful consideration, I figured... what the hell? Now, don’t get too excited, these aren’t going to appear every column. Since tag teams rarely compete every single cycle, we’d probably go for several weeks at a time with teams in the same order. So as of right now, expect to see the Tag Team Rankings only in the column right after a major PPV. Lucky for you, this is one of those columns.
We’ll have a different set of rules here for eligibility. And they are...
1. A team must be registered in the official list of FFW Tag Teams, which can be found in the tag team area of the roster section of the website. I really have no interest in ranking one-shot teams that form for just a single night.
2. Both wrestlers must be ranked in the current Power X. It’s hard to call a tag team active when one or both of their members haven’t set foot in the ring in weeks.
3. A team must have had at least one match as an official tag team. I may bend this one a bit, if you makeshift a tag team, succeed at it, and decide to team together on a permanent basis, I’ll probably let it slide.
4. Placement in the Power X has absolutely no bearing on where a team may fall in the tag rankings.
Got it? Good.
The first installment sees six teams eligible for ranking, with another couple (NYC, DDD) looking to make their way into the division in the coming weeks. Anyways, here we go...
#6- TWISTED PATH 2.0 (Destiny Loveheart & Traci Loveheart)
Seriously... do I even need to explain this?
#5- THE DANGER QUEENS (Charlotte Gage & Kassandra)
Charlie and Kass return to action at Velocity for the first time after Kassandra’s injury, to face the newly formed Golden Girls. With 2011 ending so sourly for the DQ’s, let’s hope they get 2012 off to the right start.
#4- THE ETERNAL FLAME (Katherine Stryfe & Rebbecca Valentiine)
The Flame have taken a back seat a bit while Kat Stryfe was focused on trying to regain the FFW Championship, and, at least until her rematch with Stacey, will likely to remain that way. Still, there’s no reason to suggest that the 2011 FFW Tag Team of the Year can’t rise up and make another run at the belts.
#3- PINK, INC. (Arianna Millar & Desirae Kain)
Something about these two just seemed... off at Cold Blooded, as if the chemistry wasn’t quite as strong as it was when they beat the Flame for the titles. I don’t know... maybe Arianna’s realizing that FFW is a lot harder to compete in day to day than the SVW T&A division is, and it’s taking its toll. Either way, their rematch with B&P at Breaking Point could spell make or break for this duo.
#2- VIOLENT FEMMES (Arabella De Rossi & Colleen)
All the while as Pink Inc and Bounce & Pounce took their shots, you knew that these two weren’t going to be far away from the picture. Smart money is them getting their shot at Chaos Theory, especially since it looks like Colleen’s not in for anything else at the moment.
#1- BOUNCE & POUNCE (Hayley Dark & Ignis)
It took longer than most people thought, but B&P finally got their title shot, and they capitalized big time, knocking off Ari and Desi, and taking their place atop the mountain. How long they’ll remain there remains to be seen, with the likes of PI, VF, and some new teams coming in to join the fray.
Hope you liked the first installment of the tag rankings! We’ll have the next one lined up for ya after Chaos Theory!
Oh fuck... what’s that heading towards us?
INCOMING!
Oh wait, this is just the part of the column where we look at the upcoming shows on the FFW calendar! Three big ones coming up... no time to waste!
VELOCITY- FEBRUARY 9 FROM MIAMI, FLORIDA
We’re goin’ coast to coast here! After spending January in sunny California, we head to equally sunny Florida for our next couple shows, the first being an action packed Velocity! First up is a debut match, featuring the incoming Freya Kane, yet another Irish beauty singing up for a crack at Femme Fatale glory. Not an easy debut though, she’s going up against Lightning, who’s been sitting idly by on the sidelines for a while, and would love to punk the newcomer in her debut. After that it’s tag team time with the Danger Queens returning to action, taking on the Golden Girls, a team of Sarah Richardson and one of the Demidov sisters (like I’ve figured those two out yet). Given Sarah’s track record here, she better pray she picked a damn good partner if she hopes to get past the Queens.
Next on the dockett is a well-rested Hanna Elliot, who got to sit out Byte This, and watch Alyssa Foxworthy punk Eileen Amaro in that ring. Hanna gets a chance to put Alyssa in her place as the two collide. Surely Alyssa won’t get away with that bullshit again... right? Future Shock Season 5 is next on the showdown, as Season Champion Melanie Avilo faces Jodie Gray. Jodie was less than happy when she wasn’t voted into the finals, so getting to face Mel and prove the fans wrong was something she was hoping for. Now she has that chance, so she better capitalize!
Things then take a turn for the brutal, with the once-again red hot Colleen taking on the suddenly-cold Desirae Kain. Desi’s taken some hard lumps over the past couple of weeks, but we’ve already seen just how tough the Frenchwoman is, and Colleen does have an exploitable Achilles heel in there somewhere, so don’t rule out the Season 4 Champ just yet. And finally, the main event will see SVW Champion Johnny Moxie as part of a talent exchange program with my other employer. He’ll face Wendy Briese, and considering these two are about as polarly opposite as you could get, this could be one hell of an explosive match. Doesn’t make it any easier that Starla McCloud is the referee, and she’ll likely be doing whatever Samantha wants her to do. So the question is- which does Samantha find more distasteful? Wendy holding the No Surrender Championship, or Johnny Moxie’s mere existence?
BYTE THIS III- FEBRUARY 15 FROM DAYTONA BEACH, FLORIDA
FFW’s third internet charity PPV is certainly a unique one, as FFW will team up with the ARCA racing league (in which they will be sponsoring a car this year), coming from Daytona’s infamous Speedweeks, so if you’re a wrestling and racing fan (or just a wrestling fan!) this is going to be a must-watch event! Fans will have a chance to meet all of their favorite Femme Fatales as well as ARCA drivers. I’ve even been told that some NASCAR Camping World Truck and Nationwide series drivers will also be attending! And of course, there’s going to be some amazing wrestling on par too. Just remember, we’re holding this on the actual beach, NOT at the Speedway, so make sure you’re showing up at the right place!
First match, probably won’t fall into the ‘amazing’ category, as it’s tough to see Charity Deas putting up much of a fight against Melanie Avilo, so if Mel stumbles against Jodie at Velocity, at least she’ll pick up her first official FFW win here. Things get into a much higher gear on the next go-round, when Eileen Amaro, who’s gotta be starving for a good win at this point, hopes to get that against Casey Atherton. And we all know Eileen isn’t going to be putting up with Alex Adonis’ bullshit at all.
Remember earlier in the column when I asked what’s next for Cammie, and said watch Byte This? Next match would be why- Cara Stone and Alysson Gardner in a friendly (!?) little no disqualification match, and I’d wager there could be Ultraviolence title implications for the winner (should they want it). After that, a Six Femme Tag Match is a-go, with Club CK’s Kara, Hayley, and Ignis taking on the Eternal Flame and Tabatha Belmont. Remember, it was Bounce & Pounce beating the Flame at the LAST Byte This that put them in position to take the titles at Cold Blooded, so you can expect the Flame will want to be returning the favor here, and I’m sure Tabby will be more than willing to help her friends.
Finally,. this could either be a great main event, or a total washout, and that’s going to depend on which Shane Sanders we see walking through that door. If we get the Shane that beat Colleen at Violent Night, this is going to be a barnburner as Kaitlynn Stryfe will be doing everything she can to hold the Texas Muse off. But Shane’s unpredictable, and we could be seeing a Sanders that succumbs to Kitty with ease as well. After Cold Blooded, my money’s going to be on the good Shane showing up, full of fire and ready to take the fight to Kitty.
BREAKING POINT- FEBRUARY 18 FROM CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA
After Byte This, it’s just a short jaunt up the Atlantic coast to Charlotte, where our next event takes place, with a double main event! First match sees another Season 5 Future Shock contest, where Cara Stone and Jennifer Williams face off. Remember, Cara came VERY close to winning the Ladder match at Cold Blooded, only for Jennifer to take her out and get the briefcase at the last second. Cara’s going to be hot for redemption here, moreso considering the two women haven’t really ever seen eye to eye. And Shitley Mercer makes her long “awaited” return to FFW. At least its a match she can win this times- the always beatable Charity Deas.
From then on out, the order of the day tends towards tag teams, first with two new teams squaring off. The New York Crew features Stephanie Sullivan and Kimberly Aries, two women who’vre really yet to make much of a splash. That could change if they can beat the heavily favored Drop Dead Dangerous, who, featuring Crystal Hilton and Kaitlynn Stryfe, amount to the first true Superteam (a team featuring two VERY well established singles wrestlers) FFW has seen in a while. We do return to singles for one more match (albeit against former tag partners), when Eileen Amaro faces the recent A-List expulsee, Jo McFarlane. Considering how both girls have stumbled the past couple of weeks, desperation could be the order of the day here.
After that, it’s all tagging, starting with a rematch from Cold Blooded, with Pink, Inc trying to regain the tag titles from Bounce & Pounce, although it’ll be damn hard to top the match we got at CB. Still, with the amount of pure speed we’ll be seeing from these four women, this should be yet another exciting fast paced match. And then comes the main event, which should tear the house down. Nightmare Inc, the famous, now-defunct tag team, will be on opposite sides this time around. Emma teams with Stacey Mackenzie, meaning the current and a former FFW Champion will be standing side by side against the Eternal Flame. And you know this is the kind of match the Flame excells in, especially considering that there’s been some friction between Kat & Emma. This one is going to be one to watch!
And now that you know what’s coming up, you don’t have a single fucking excuse to miss it! GET ON THAT COUCH AND TURN ON THE TV, MOTHERFUCKER!
AWARDS!
YES! I’ve been trying to get Kaitlynn Stryfe to do my awards for a couple of weeks now, and I’ve finally gotten ahold of her, and she’s agreed! Considering the events of Cold Blooded, I figured Kitty would be at her absolute snarky-catty bitch mode best, and... yeah. I wasn’t disappointed. At all. Take it away, the REAL Ms. Stryfe (other than Kat, of course)!
Match of the Week
Evolution Championship
Tara Thunder vs. Mel Avilo
Truthfully, I'll probably be accused of being way off base in calling this the highlight of the week in favor of the Main Event at Cold Blooded. Not that I care what most of you people think. I didn't watch the Main Event. Everyone knows that Stacey is the best around, why waste time watching while Katherine Stryfe and Kamikaze Kincaid go through the motions? Right, back to this match-- Tara Thunder is an absolute wrecking ball. Despite the fact that I loathe her brother and wish he would just crawl off somewhere and die, the fact remains that she is the shining star that made the middle of the show even watchable. The way she handled that pathetic little reality show winner was epic. Kudos, Tara. I'm in awe. And to watch Mel Avilo bitch and moan afterwards on Twitter about how upset she was over the loss was just hilarious. Entertainment value through the roof on this one!
Jeebus, I didn’t know Kitty was so sweet on Tara Thunder. If she and Tara ever form a tag team, I would completely shit myself. And then start a witness protection program to hide B&P, Pink Inc, and the Eternal Flame for their own safety. Luckily, she’s with Crystal Hilton, so my drawers remain unsoiled, and the rest of the tag division remains off life-support. Runners up!
- Mackenzie vs. Kincaid vs. Stryfe: Kitty may not have watched it, but I sure did, and I saw an absolutely dynamic match that saw all three women leave nothing out in that ring. But yeah, Mackenzie was just that much better at Cold Blooded, and she showed it. Still, the individual rematches coming up should be just as fun to watch
- Bounce & Pounce vs. Pink Inc: This was early in the show, and that’s kind of a shame, because it tired the crowd out for a good couple matches afterwards! All four women were all over the place, but in the end, Hayley and Ignis managed to work it just a bit better, andpick up the win. Can’t wait for the rematch, though!
Winner of the Week
Alysson Gardner
Is it poor form to pick myself? I suppose I can do without a certain someone accusing me of being vain in addition to being a poor human being on other fronts, can't I? Oh well, then if I must pick, obviously I'm going to choose a kindred spirit. Coming off a disappointing loss to Katherine Stryfe's cardboard cutout partner Rebbecca Valentine, Aly needed this win even without adding the fact that this was a grudge match not unlike my own feud with that psychotic Queen Machine. At least Alysson can move on to bigger and better things without Stephanie Sullivan hanging over her head. Here's hoping that gets put to bed easier than my little issue does-- and hoping that mine doesn't take FOUR years for resolution.
I have no issue whatsoever who you pick for it, be it yourself or otherwise. But Aly’s a decent pick. And yeah, I’d hate it if I had to wait four years to punch Stephanie Sullivan in her stupid face too.
- Kelly McGuffin: Oh my god... now the A-List has TWO people who know how to win matches! I’m actually kinda starting to get worried here...
- Wendy Briese: You damn right I’ll pick my client here. Wendy got a huge monkey off her back when she regained gold (well, titanium), and became the first ever No Surrender Champion. And even better.. she’s gonna hold onto it for more than two weeks! w00t!
Loser of the Week
Queen Machine
Taking this literally, because really, is there anyone out there more deserving of the title of loser? I think not. I won that match fair and square, even if I had to count that pinfall myself, with MY husband's limp hand. I can't believe people were cheering for that disgusting homewrecker. Doesn't anyone other than Wendy Briese respect marriage anymore?
I’ll allow it, but only because “Lucky Beneficiary of a No Contest Decision” is way too exclusive to be an award.
- Rose Jenkins: Strike Three. You’re out.
- Alex Adonis: There might be a contest between me, Wolf and Carson to see who the BEST manager is.. but there’s no denying who the fucking worst is. I mean, is there anything this lunk hasn’t tried that hasn’t backfired horrifically? He tried to fuck with Pazzini, and started a goddamned WAR. He interfered in the No Surrender, and Starla ended up on her head outside the ring. I won’t even get into the disaster that was the PYP Ladder Match. Oh, and he’s a fucking shitty commentator too.
Douchebag of the Week
Luther Thunder
Not part of the FFW roster, but definitely deserves the mention for the horrible things he said about me during that match while doing commentary. Are you blind and completely oblivious to what that twisted up crazy person did? Did you not see how she deliberately, more than once, tried to force me to injure the man I love... yet you hate on me instead? And really, Luther? Do you seriously need to pull a page from Robbyn Helmsley's book and remind the world that you're Alexander Stryfe's best friend with every single breath? Yeah, we know. Talk about annoying!
Don’t take this the wrong way, Kitty, but the mere fact that Alexander Stryfe actually has a wife and a friend defies so much conventional wisdom...
- Colleen: DID YOU SEE WHAT THAT BITCH DID TO ME? UNPROVOKED, NO LESS (well, okay, I did toss my salad at her, but that was preemptive self-defense!)
- Alyssa Foxworthy: Pro Wrestling Wisdom Tidbit #117: If you win a fucking midcard match by pulling the tights, don’t go parading around acting like you just won the world title. Seriously, you just look like an idiot. And a douchebag.
Thanks for the awards, Kiitty! And if by chance, Kaitlynn has offended you with this tidbit, feel free to hit her up on Twitter @KaitlynnStryfe and give her an earful on what’s what. Just a warning, she will not care. And will more than likely verbally pwn you until you rage-logoff. Because that’s how she rolls.
MEMES OF THE WEEK!
To finish up, got a double dose of memery for ya, taken from some screencaps from the promotional graphics used during the PPV. Enjoy!!
And that does it for this weeks installment! Hope you guys have a good February and Valentines Day, and I look forward to seeing you all next time for another round of rankings, news and previews! Until then...
POLLA OUT!
Daniel Pollaski is an independent wrestling columnist, SVW wrestler, and the manager of FFW star Wendy Briese. He invites Shitley Mercer to enjoy her win over Charity Deas, because that is going to be the only one in FFW she's ever going to get.
